Should those Old Grudges be Forgotten and never Brought to Mind again with your SO in the New Year?

Question

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Some relationships are better ended.
And some decent people make mistakes, act in ways they shouldn't sometimes, and deserve to be forgiven. No one is perfect. Apologies are a small part of life, but go a long way on maintaining relationships.
If everyone eliminated everyone who they were mad at, at one time or another, no one would have anyone left in their life. So, yes, forget grudges. Mostly.

Oops I just re-read and you specified SO. Well that's a whole other ball of wax! I don't know! Case-by-case basis. Ha.
But yeah, if you want a marriage to last, you sure as hell better forgive and forget.

England4eva · Accepted Answer

Grudges are there for a reason. I do my best to move forward with people that I absolutely have to and ONLY those I cannot avoid. But if you made big mistakes in the past I’d be a fool to expect you not to repeat this behaviour sometime in the future.

Once bitten, twice as shy.

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

The only useful purpose of referencing past issues is specifically for trying to resolve a pattern of behavior that's harming the relationship. You're not making it about that time. Just using it as an example for something they recently did.

But harassing and painting a narrative about them based on this is harmful to the relationship and should be left alone. At the end of the day you forgave them and stuck with them. To bring it up and throw it in their face is really you now being an asshole, making you in the wrong now even tho you're talking about a time they were wrong

noohair · Accepted Answer

Women never forget this stuff.

melanieeeB · Answer

Well old grudges should be communicated and get solved.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

That attitude should not be limited to New Year's Day.

Massageman · Answer

God wants us to forgive, just as He forgave OUR sins through Jesus.  He doesn't limit this to Jan 1.

NathanDavis · Answer

yes they should... but personally, I never hold onto any grudges or I will have to carry them, and then they become my burden which can slow me down, and then I might sink and that will take me nowhere good but down and down, so nope... I have no time to hold any grudges

humpbackjack · Answer

This is impossible and not a good idea really I’m not saying you can’t forgive your SO for past issues but you shouldn’t forget if you forget it the issue can happen again and you won’t see it coming and won’t be able to do anything to prevent it but really if it’s an issue worth holding a grudge you won’t be able to forget it anyways because to many things will bring it to your mind especially if you’re SO doesn’t change

Phoenix98 · Answer

Lol that kind of stuff is just like new years resolutions it's bullshit.

If people really want to get rid of old grudges and leave past mistakes in the past then they start every single day with that kind of attitude instead of harboring onto all that until the first day of the new year then deciding to let go.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

My SO? Not how I want to live.
if there are anything needed to be discussed, issues to be taking care of… it’s at that moment or soon…
Life is too short to do that to each other. Love is to forgive.
same with my family members. We don’t hold grudges.

AviatorTom · Answer

I don't believe in holding a grudge. All it does is get you upset. The person you hold the grudge against doesn't care, so why hold the grudge? Put it in the past (you can't change what happened anyway) and move on.

molonski2 · Answer

Issues will always be issues and if just " pushed to one side " they will become bigger issues , such things need to be addressed , to see if the relationship is to proceed.

Lliam · Answer

Yes. Old grudges should be forgotten along with the people you have grudge against. Forget they exist. And then forget the grudges because hanging onto bad memories does you no good.

humanearth · Answer

For those that hold Grudges will die a lonely bitter person.  Learn to let go and have a happy long loving life surrounded by people that love you People that hold Grudges don't have that

Xtcy2083 · Answer

Absolutely Paris! Hey, just a few minutes to the new year (I'm in Australia, and we're ahead of the rest of the world, except New Zealand).

Apulu_3 · Answer

I don't see any point in holding grudges. Of course they should be forgotten not only at New Year but anytime. It just harms the relationship.

Interstate · Answer

It depends. Are they the result of unresolved differences and issues? Or are they from Johnny sneaking the last cookie out of the cookie jar?

menina · Answer

Absolutely! A new year, a fresh start!😊💚 Besides holding grudges only makes you feel worse and life is too short to hate on someone.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

„New York, with the politics. All the old beefs and grudges.“  - Lefty Ruggiero, Donnie Brasco

Star_88 · Answer

Depends on how they wronged you. Why to hold a grudge when you can cut them off completely?

Heartache0405 · Answer

What significant other? I've been blissfully alone for... Oh hey it'll be 6 years now! New record! Here's to another full year of being single! 🚬

Swordnen · Answer

With SO,  it should always be like "the day changed, forget" rule  NOTE:- It is for both sides equally, Not all-time girls should initialize this nor guys. It should be done with understanding.

lovey44 · Answer

Yes. Let them go! If you cannot do that thenket your SO go. Why be miserable? Love is supposed to be good notdrsg you and your partner dow to the depths of misery!!

Roguehoneylife · Answer

Depends on what the grudge is. Communication is key.  you don’t want those little things to build into a big thing but don’t let little things constantly piss you off

exitseven · Answer

Nah, once somebody gets on my shit list it takes a long time to get off it.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

"To be lovers, We've got to understand,  Today is how today begins, Tomorrow's how it ends." ---Luther Vandross.

Cubus · Answer

You should forgive if it's possible. Christmas is not the time to get grumpy.

libsaretards · Answer

I never hold a grudge or hatred. All that does is hurt me twice. If I need to leave someone in the past, I will. If the issue can be fixed, we fix it and move on.

Dargil · Answer

If someone has betrayed your trust and commitment, there is no forgetting it. Like my cheating ex-wife who had a taste for sausages and uniforms, Paris.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Maybe you could have a meeting around 6 or 7 -- before the party starts -- to put things to rest.

Luopio27 · Answer

Never had a New Year gathering where all would sing auld lang zyne.

JessieBellll · Answer

Grudges should never be forgotten, don't let people walk over you!

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

Should never have a grudge against your partner... You should talk things through until you come to a resolution you are both happy with

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Absolutely, and for the last time.. I'm not coolbreeze!

nawtee_me · Answer

If you have kept them this long then why not a little longer?

katiesmuff · Answer

Shouldn't just be something for NYD but every day when there might be a grudge

IveGotNoName · Answer

No, I think old grudges should be brought up and talked through

globetrotter22 · Answer

It is important to communicate but it’s also equally important to forgive.

Wester1967 · Answer

You abused me MF. NO. You're wearing that ball and chain to hell. See ya sucker

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

If you're holding a grudge for your SO, then it's clear that you have problems

LegendaryIcon · Answer

No. Just because you're starting something new, doesn't mean the past should be forgotten. Never forget, right... for the holocaust

Anonymous · Answer

forgotten, no.  never brought up again after resolved, yes.

malwins · Answer

id be willing to firgive anything if i know gor a fact they won't repeat the behavior but most likely they will

OddBeMe · Answer

Only if you're a chump. Remember. Plan. Take revenge.

bubbles328 · Answer

I’d love to but I’m struggling to

elizamichale1 · Answer

I think yes absolutely

Iron_Man · Answer

We have to move forward

loveslongnails · Answer

Depends on what it's about.

KatherineJ · Answer

Forgiven? Yep. Forgotten? Impossible.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

Shouldn't just change just because of new years

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s never beneficial to hold grudges

msc545 · Answer

You can forgive if you want to but never forget.

hafinjun · Answer

20 years later you will remember is mad at them that's not why

Manuel2 · Answer

How can you forget if the other person would not

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Yes but don’t forget about them

Singlebimom · Answer

Sure of course

TallAnon · Answer

Forgive, but never forget.

emperor90 · Answer

Let go of the past

eagle1951 · Answer

no way

Gal67 · Answer

It depends. Maybe.

jimmy2 · Answer

Amen no one perfect

Should those Old Grudges be Forgotten and never Brought to Mind again with your SO in the New Year?

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Should those Old Grudges be Forgotten and never Brought to Mind again with your SO in the New Year?

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