Would you be happy if your girlfriend took you to Bali for holidays?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was going to go to Bali and renew my visa there.

I had already booked a very nice hotel and the tickets were very cheap too, I was going there for three weeks.

1 month before the trip, I told my then boyfriend to come with me, as I had already booked the hotel and the tickets and we’d have very romantic Balinese holidays together.

He was very happy to hear that but He had much lower salary than I did and he was very traditional, he liked to be the one to spoil me, but didn’t like when I did the same for him.

So, he said he couldn’t come because of his work, in truth he didn’t come because at that time he didn’t have money and didn’t want to come on my expense.

However, when I went back to China, he took me to a beautiful Chinese seaside city, where his parents spent the honeymoon.

So, in a way, he was fine taking me to places, but he wasn’t happy about me taking him somewhere.

What about you, would you go with your girlfriend, if she’d book the hotel and flight tickets for both of you as a surprise? (Assuming it wasn’t too expensive)

Updates

4 mo

Mind you, I am not taking anyone anywhere, unless he’s an exceptionally good boyfriend, who has proved his love and care to me many times and who I know won’t take me for granted.

To be honest, I even appreciated his pride that he didn’t come, because he didn’t want to be there on my expense, I think that was noble of him.

That was also sweet that he took me to another unforgettable holidays, right after I went back from Bali.

I wish I could spoil him a little too, cause he spoiled me lot.

Updates

4 mo

But I still wish, he could have been more relaxed with me and chose to come… So what, some days I’d take him, some days he’d take me.

[Sevenpointfive]

get a black boyfriend. they love spending a white girls money and using them to make it for their bank account.

personally, for me, it would depend on how you made the money. to me modelling isn't work. if anyone can do it then you are overpaid. but you say you're smart. if you actually make money of your mental skillset then he should be proud of that.

i kind of doubt that's why you were thinking of bali though. had a shoot there right? yeah, that's not a vacation in my opinion.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My income has always come from my intellect, I am not going to turn down modeling opportunities sometimes just because mind is my stronger side. Who’s not have to have a girlfriend who earns money out of her smartness full-time and out of modeling part-time?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not a model. My brain has always been bigger of an asset than my looks.

[Sevenpointfive]

i trust you somewhat on that, but i still think you got a free trip because of modelling. i can see why a guy wouldn't accept a tagalong.

i can also see a hardheaded guy not going along because it's not the vacation he wants for the two of you. one where you don't have to think of working would be a better trip

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

As I have stated, I went there for holidays. I didn’t get a free trip, I paid for my own holidays, just like everyone does.

[Ironic_Method]

Hell yeah, my wife pays for a lot of things for me. She does the daily/monthly expenses and I save and save for the big stuff like procedures and her student loans.

I understand where the guy is coming from, it's hard to accept that kind of thing when most cultures insist that the male should be the sole provider. Hope he can resolve that so you can enjoy each other properly.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He’s an ex.

[Ironic_Method]

Oh. In that case... that sucks. Carry on.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Not, I am totally moved on. I was just wondering if all men are that stubborn.

[Ironic_Method]

Not all men, but many are definitely brought up that way - both from men feeling the need to prove that they're the best man by being able to make the most money and by women who echo the "men should pay for things". Both are toxic, but it's everywhere when it's so ingrained into societies.

[wolfcat87]

Most people would be happy. It just sounds like he has some worries and insecurities that he could use help working through over time.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes, he was insecure about his income, I tried to justify his decision and thought that it was kind of noble to have that kind of pride, but… in the end it hurt me because I always wanted to surprise him with things and he never liked that, he only wanted to be the one to surprise me, he didn’t allow me to give, he only wanted me to receive, however, it’s sometimes more fulfilling to give rather than receive.

[wolfcat87]

Have you told him all of those feelings?

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Bali... overrated.

Just my 2 cents.

[NathanDavis]

would be happier if it were a colder place but yes, I would be happy to go with her to anywhere pretty much...

I don't care about money like that if that's the point of the question... I don't have that kind of insecurities

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I mean, I liked that he was very chivalrous and traditional but I didn’t like that it didn’t allow me to spoil him back, because he spoiled me a lot and I wanted to spoil him too.

[NathanDavis]

some men are extremely insecure about these things... and it is a cultural/traditional aspect on him... then it might never change either

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes, I wish he could set that pride away and come… But since I had no choice left but go alone, I respected his opinion and thought to look at it from a positive mindset and justify his decision. All in all, what matters is that had he come, we would have unforgettable and memorable holidays.

[NathanDavis]

is he still your boyfriend?

you're still going to make more memories at great places, no doubt about that.. whether is him, or with someone else... on your own as well

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We broke up 1.4 year ago. We got engaged later and broke up after 3.5 years of relationship.

He always wanted to give, he never wanted to receive, which to be honest, hurt me because I loved being a receiver of his care, but I wanted to give it too.

[NathanDavis]

well, yes... it was for the best, since the two of you were not truly compatible

his (unnecessary) pride and stubbornness on this aspect should have not been above his willingness to make you happy... and these things are usually not a good sign for the future either, chances are that once married.. he would want to impose other archaic traditions on you, or negate other things that make you happy as well so... it happens

but still, I am sure someone else will come eventually... and there will be more affinity between the two of you... and you should be looking forward to that (=

the past... just lessons learned

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep, I agree.

Thanks for letting me see another perspective on the break up.

I guess, we were really incompatible.

[NathanDavis]

yes, just trying to share a perspective about it (=

[BoopBoopBeep]

Of course. I think that's a very sweet gift, especially considering I have always wanted to go to Bali :P

[AviatorTom]

Of course I'd go if she pays. Our next trip would be on me.

[Likes2drive]

I’d be happy to have a girlfriend take me anywhere

[Hanrej]

Yes I would. I have the same reservations as your boyfriend about a woman spending her money on me but I've come to realise with the years that you wouldn't ask if you don't want your guy there. Saying no just means depriving yourself of a good time for the benefit of your pride while simultaneously disappoint your woman.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I liked it about him a lot, I liked that pride he had and the wish to be the one to spoil me. I’d never offer to do this unless he was the one to spoil me first. But he did so many things for me, it was a way for me to enjoy his presence and show him my love too.

[Hanrej]

Yes, and now because of his pride you won't have the opportunity. Be sure to remember this time in future arguments if he ever use the words "well, what do you do for me?".

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We broke up. He’s an ex.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We were engaged though.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We didn’t argue much and he had never said “What did you do for me”? He has only thanked me for how amazing girlfriend I was. When I was angry, he listened and told me “Babe, I know you are angry, let it out on me, I won’t take anything you’ll say close to my heart. When he was angry, I listened too. We solved arguments in a very civilized way.

[molonski2]

Id be packing my bags , working out , and getting ready for the best surf in Asia ,

Double bonus is my girl has offered to pay ! Wow , thats a change , I'd be 100 % all in not even a remote issue , and I'd be very thankful for the experience and the lovely hotel.

[love_conquers_lust]

I would be happy if she asked me to go with her. I would then feel terrible if I couldn't pay my way. So, I probably wouldn't do it. That's her money, she should spend it how she wants to.

I wouldn't want to be asked if I couldn't.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I would like him to come with me, we would have unforgettable holidays, especially that he didn’t have any money because he bought me presents with his whole salary back then. So, I think it was only fair for me to take him to enjoy the holidays with me. I wish he felt less restricted, but I didn’t get upset that he chose not to come , because I respected his pride, it only made me want to spoil him more.

The thing is I wanted to take him with me because I was sure he wasn’t the type of man to take my efforts for granted and that he has proved many times how much he loved me and I wanted to show him my love and enjoy those holidays with him too.

[love_conquers_lust]

There's another conundrum, we would be only girlfriend/boyfriend (unmarried) and she would almost certainly expect for us to consummate on the trip.

I don't want to besmirch her honor. I wouldn't want her to hurt again if things didn't work out and she hides herself for another year from the world. She deserves to be happy.

I know this may sound like an asshole thing I'd impose on her, but it's truly me imposing it on myself. She should feel free to do whatever she chooses.

I've saved myself for a long time and I wouldn't want that kind of pressure on me. I'd want to be comfortable to spend time with her and love her in my own way where I felt unpressured. That's the way relationships should be. Two parties consenting and WANTING to be with one another, not out of necessity.

[spartan55]

I dated a woman in my twenties who was loaded and she took me to Vegas several times. I didn't mind.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What is “loaded”?

I wanted to take him with me because we were in a serious relationship, he loved me, I loved him and he spoiled me so much, I wanted to spoil him a little too.

I wouldn’t take him anywhere had he not been an exceptionally amazing boyfriend, whose every day was dedicated to making me happy.

[spartan55]

Loaded means had lots of money.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not “loaded”. And I wouldn’t take you anywhere.

[spartan55]

Oookay... did I ask you to? Wtf...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I didn’t like how you said about that girl that she was “loaded”.

[spartan55]

Okaayyy... it's common slang here and it's not derogatory.

[ColHathi]

I don't care who has the money. If she wants to spoil me, go for it ^^

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He spoiled me most of the time, but I wanted to spoil him too.

[ColHathi]

Only reasonable. Tell him to quit being stubborn ^^

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We broke up, he’s my ex, I was just wondering whether all men are like this or he was the stubborn one.

[ColHathi]

Oooh, right.

[Guido]

Sometimes people's pride gets in the way of doi g the right thing. Your offer was genuine and very nice. Absolutely no reason not to accept.

I have never been to Bali and I would definitely let you take me anytime.

[BourbonAndBacon]

I'd love it. Bali is on mine and my partners bucket list but she doesn't work soooo...

[RedInnocent68]

Of course I would! Nothing wrong with taking turns, or being spoiled one in a while.

[Jerre]

I would certainly go. I have been to Tahiti many times and am sure Bali is similar. I would be very happy to go.

[Jerre]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 Thank you for the Like

[Staximus]

I'd choose a vacation instead of foolish pride any day

[CalmUntilAbused]

I guess I'd feel useless, but happy nonetheless.

[TonyMetal___86]

I prefer not but if i'm paying always on her and make her surprises than yes why not if she wanted to make me a surprise once!

[soe11]

Absolutely will be happy.

My girlfriend never go vacation without me and her mom.

[justabuddy]

Depends on how far into the rationship we were. Vacations can be a great way to make bonds. Just be sure that person is someone you want to make those bonds with.

[Drewtate]

No not really. After Christmas maybe.

[CubaPirate]

Definitely I'd be delighted to