Girlfriend giving me attitude?

[Anonymous]

Recently my girlfriend has been giving me the cold shoulder because she feels like I'm supposed to take care of her every want/need. When I met my girlfriend I was willing to spend any amount so long as she was happy, but recently I told her that I was going to need to start saving so that I can have a better future.. she hasn't responded to that well.

The thing that bothers me most is that we've spoken about this twice and at neither of those times did she say thank you for all that I've done so far, she's just gotten upset. She isn't currently working and is on her final year of college.

Now keep this is mind, I have no problem being a provider for a woman.. but that woman would need to be my woman.. and by my woman.. I mean be married. I don't believe that you should take care of your girlfriend's every want/need, you wait until you're married when all of your expenses are combined. If I'm taking care of her every want/need, what if she just wakes up and decides she doesn't want to be with me anymore? I guess I lose all that I've been investing into her on top of my time. She's acting super entitled and not responding to my messages and this has been very telling.

What do you recommend I do? I guess I didn't realize this before but this makes her very high maintenance.. and I feel like if I was going to be going for a high maintenance woman, I could have gone for someone else. I don't think that sounds good to say, but I think that she's asking me for a price that's not in proportion to what she brings to the table. I don't know. I'd love to hear your responses!

[NotTacocaT6969]

So, she was using you and you encouraged that behavior.


Now she’s trying to continue using you, you’re not encouraging it anymore and you’re not sure what to do?


Break up with her and never use your money to attract a woman again or you’ll get another gold-digger just like her.


Pretend to be poor and find a woman who loves you anyway.


That’s the one who won’t use you.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I wasn't trying to land a woman that's like that. I wanted a woman that was appreciate of the little nice things that I would do.. not feel entitled to them. It really is a shame. I hope she's able to find what she's looking for.

[MzAsh]

The old bait and switch! Nice. 🥴
You knew (or should have known) what kind of woman she is. You had no problem spoiling her in order to get her locked in and now you’re backpedaling m and using marriage as an excuse. By your logic, she should just stop having sex with you. After all, those are privileges for a man who’s a husband. You catch my drift.

[Asker]

There wasn't a bait or switch. I wasn't spending money on her from the beginning of the relationship, I was just helping her out here and there and eventually I was just spending money on her just because I loved her and she made me feel good. I wasn't spending money on her for her to like me. We do not have sex. We are waiting until marriage to have sex and she has told me that many times and I have told her many times that I don't believe that a boyfriend is supposed to pay his girlfriend's bill. That's a husband thing. If we were in a relationship where we were already having sex I wouldn't mind it as much. I want to wait until later for all the privileges but now that she's gotten a taste, she feels locked out I suppose. But the way she's reacting shows me that she feels entitled to my resources and may not like me for me.

[MzAsh]

I see. Well, forgive me for assuming. In that case, it’s better to find out now if she likes you for you as opposed to what material things you’re giving her. A woman who really likes you will be able to deal changes. As someone who’s married for 16 years, I know changes are a partner life.

[MzAsh]

A part of life, I meant.

[Asker]

You are very much right! A woman who is worth marrying would be thankful for all that I've done so far and be understanding of the changes that I'm making to make a better future for myself/us. I think that this has exposed that she liked me for what I could do for her and not liked me for me. I think this is the end of the road for us. I hope that she's able to find a guy that will give her all the things that she's looking for. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. Asking this question has opened my eyes to a lot. God bless you and your SO and take care. John 3:16

[BoopBoopBeep]

Both of y'all messed up. You did a bait and switch and she's over entitled. Learn from this an important lesson on sincerity of action and remember in your next relationship to be honest up front about what you want/who you are.

[Asker]

I wouldn't consider it a bait and switch. It wasn't as soon as the relationship started, but I was willing to help her out where needed. I wasn't trying to make her like me only for money but I guess this is revealing that. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I will be sure to keep that in mind in any future relationships if this leads to the end of it.

[Asker]

Also, I would be able to continue to treat her/give her what she wants but she just doesn't treat me good and I've told her many times that I don't like what she says and does. I don't want to continue to do most of the tugging and pulling for someone that treats me bad.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Brother it already led to that you just haven't pulled the trigger yet. Look at your responses to me.

" but she just doesn't treat me good and I've told her many times that I don't like what she says and does. I don't want to continue to do most of the tugging and pulling for someone that treats me bad."

There's 8 billion people in the world. Find one that doesn't suck for you.

[Asker]

You're very right. It's hard, but I have to throw in the towel on this one. Thanks once again for sharing your thoughts with me. Asking this question on here and hearing these responses has been very eye opening for me. God bless you and take care. John 3:16

[BoopBoopBeep]

God bless you as well brother. Hopefully with a better woman.

[DryGermanGuy]

She will hopefully finish college, find a job and earn her own money. Then she can a) buy her own silly things and b) realize that actual work comes before having any money.

[Asker]

I agree and I sure hope that is the case for her

[inhua]

a man's role is traditional and static. not negotiable

a woman's role is negotiable and can go from traditional to modern

this is a tough predicament you're in

[Asker]

Not with me she can't. There won't be any bouncing between the two. I'm not here to play games with anyone

[Grovermint]

Dump her. You've been through a discussion twice about your point of view and she doesn't respect that.

[Asker]

You're very right. We spoken about it twice and now she's giving me so much attitude. She always acts this way when she doesn't get her way. She hasn't said she's grateful for what I've already done. I guess this will be the end of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

As the man of the relationship if you are the provider and protector you do your part but she doesn't do her part there are two options. Either have a serious talk with her. If she doesn't change give her a spanking.. harsh... let her cry (I've had to go thruogh it myself and it works if you break her ego but make sure to hug her after).

Other than that your only option is leaving her. A woman can't love a man she doesn't respect.

[Asker]

She claims to respect me. I don't know if she really does. I do know that she isn't treating me right and it makes me not want to provide as much. We don't have sex and she doesn't give me anything. All I really gain from this relationship is being able to talk to her. That's not worth all the money I've spent lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yes then I would give her a spanking. If you dont wanna do that then I'd say leave her

[Opinion Owner]

*i think you should

[Asker]

Leaving might be the only option that I have left. Thanks for taking the time to respond to what I've said. God bless you and take care. John 3:16

[Opinion Owner]

Okay then thank you and God bless you too!:)

[exitseven]

Stick to your guns, let this play out and see where it ends. You are not an ATM machine.

[Asker]

I will stick to my guns. I don't plan on doing something that I don't want to do if she's not going to be doing things that she doesn't want to. I'm giving and giving while receiving nothing in return.

[msc545]

get a new girlfriend. Aftr marriage all your expenses will be combined but still just one income - yours.

[Asker]

You're very much right. I have no problem with that because in the future I do plan on making a lot more money. My issue comes from her being ungrateful for what I've done so far. My issue comes from her not being a nice person and disrespectful and saying/doing the things that I've told her many times that I don't like.

[msc545]

She can legally make things a LOT worse if you marry her. DON'T.

[msc545]

No matter how much you make she will spend all of it and demand more.

[Asker]

You're very much right. This seems to be the end of the road for us. She's been ignoring me all day because I refuse to spend more money on her. (I've spent over 5k on her between last month and this one). She's asking for too much while giving me nothing. I don't think she's the kind of person that I would want to be with for the rest of my life.

[msc545]

Just dump her block her number and move on brother. No woman is worth this kind of shit. For the amount of money you spent, you could have bought a really satisfying escort.

[Anonymous]

So you want she spread her legs for you before marriage n you don't even want to take care of her needs...

Dude even dogs need two time food for staying loyal to you forget this hole

[Asker]

We are not having sex before marriage. I have been giving her whatever she wanted and needed up until this point. I do everything for her and she doesn't do anything for me. She is mean to me and disrespectful. She did many things that I didn't like after I told her that I didn't like them. I am tired of doing 100% of everything. I never told her that I would stop spending money on her. I just said that I wouldn't do it as much.