Introduction:
Self confidence is something I find to be extremely important. Not many people have it at all though, many absolutely hate how they look, their personality, or even small things like the way they walk or how they look sitting. I was thinking and about a month ago we had an attack of #BodyPositive questions and myTakes on here. I wrote one too, but I figured I should go in depth about being self confident. Keep in mind you may find this to be really long, so read or don't, just be happy with yourself. :)
You were art before they came along, you'll continue to be art long after they're gone. A masterpiece is still a masterpiece when the lights are off and the room is empty.
Men and women both face the struggles of body image, self confidence, anything postive about themselves really. Not many people are happy with the way they look. People think self confidence means being outgoing or liking their body. Self confidence may be that but it also includes how you feel about your personality, how you feel about yourself in general. Some may say women have it harder for self confidence, some say men do. No, both suffer from it.
Men get groped, 'cat called', slut shamed, bullied and harassed etc, just like women can. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will leave psychological wounds that will never heal." Our words have a major impact on the way someone thinks of themselves.
I find self confidence to have many pros and a few cons too.
Pros.
- better self esteem
- less shy (usually)
- will do what they couldn't before
- happier (usually)
- they learn their self worth
- they find out who's good for them
- they won't settle for less than they deserve
Cons.
- people will judge you for being 'cocky' (sometimes)
- you may come off as 'bitchy'
- it's automatically assumed you're stuck up (sometimes)
At least, that's how I view it. I find that if people are self confident, they're generally happier, they get rid of the toxic people in their life and they are less judgmental. Self confidence is very important, not having it may be part of having depression, not taking great opportunities, being suicidal and more.
I am trying to have more self confidence as I have little to no self esteem. I was bullied, for about eight years as a child and my dad didn't help at all with his mental abuse and child negligence. I am very self concious about my nose, forehead, small breasts and even sillier stuff, like when I smile openly only my left eye crinkles up so it looks weird. I also have a self depricating sense of humor, like I'll see a piece of trash being blown in the wind, I'll just say "Hey that's me when I dance."
I don't like how I look and I certainly don't think of myself as anywhere near perfect. But I have started to try to love myself more. I will look at my small breasts and just shrug and be cool with how they look. I'm fine with my weight, if anything I could gain some. But I just do what makes me happy with how I look, I wear the clothes I want, (usually leggings and a band tee) and I do my make up the way I like.
When I say "Oh yea I like *insert whatever feature of mine*" I am assumed to be a cocky bitch. But no, I am trying to like myself and that is very difficult for people to do. People don't understand the affect their words can have on someones self esteem.
I have a good friend, we'll call him J. He gets bullied, by people at his school and by his father. He hates his weight, his face, he hates himself. I think he's one of the best people I know, and his weight is perfectly fine as it doesn't critically affect his health. I am trying to help him feel better about himself so I compliment him all the time, and it's always genuine.
If you want more self esteem I suggest you don't surround yourself with toxic people. I suggest you stare in the mirror and say "You sexy fucking beast." or "Wow I'm beautiful/handsome." If you start doing that, at least once a day, you'll begin to believe it. Self confidence isn't something that comes easy but it is always welcome and in the end, the result is amazing.
The things worth trying for are never the easiest. That's why they're worth it.
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