Why marriage is awesome!

[Anonymous]

Recently i have been seeing a lot of negativity surrounding this topic, especially and mainly from people from the states, and i really felt the need to turn this around and tell you some of the awesome aspects that you get out of marrying the right person ✌️

You get to be with your best friend forever

If you are no best friends, you are not meant to marry. Marriage is forever, so you have to make sure that both of you are able to be sad together, silly together, happy together and most importantly; be yourself. Your husband/wife should be the first person you share storys with that happened throughtout the day. And he/she is somebody whom you can trust fully.

You can be 100% yourself

You have somebody who knows the real you, and who fucking loves it. You can just be yourself, and dont have to worry if he or she will leave you for it.

More sex, better sex

Well this is actually funny because I recently saw an mytake which claimed the exact opposite. That sounds a lot like bullshit though because when you are married you have sex at least a few times a week (thats hpw it should be). I doubt that single guys are able to get laid with different women several times a week, or even friends with benefits do not provide the circumstences to have regular sex as much as a married couple, who loves together does. Since i got married, i actually do have more sex. Approximatly at least 5x a week. And guess what, the sex is a lot better too because you know your partner in and out. You know their body, their fantasys, their weakpoints. Experimenting comes in play a lot because there are no boundaries between the two of you anymore and you dont have to be ashamed to let him or her know that you actually like to receive rim jobs or get your toes sucked 🙈😂

Married life vs Single life

You have someone to come home to, forever. There is literally no better feeling than coming home to your husband or wife after a long, stressful day at work. I have been single and i have been enjoying it, or at least I thought so, but after i met him, i understand that i never knew that life can be so much better. What i thought was fun, getting drunk, meeting tons of dudes turned out to be just shallow and exhausting. I have never imagened myself ever thinking about kids or getting married. But then he came and i became a whole new person, for the better.

Different kind of commitment

You guys are right, you dont need a ring on your finger or a licence to be a happy, commited couple. But to actually have that licence and having that bond that is on a whole new level, is awesome. I love to call him my husband. I love that he loves me so much that he actually does take all the risks that so many men are afraid of. I love that he has the trust that we are real and forever. And that he commited to that, officially. We work harder on issues that we have, than we did when we were just dating. You just know that you got to make it work when you are married, and its totally worth it.

Note that I am not religious, neither have I been a women that ever imagined the desire to get settled. I have never been one of these lovestory fangirls. I loved to get drunk, travel the world and just meet dudes and forget about them. But now when i think back, what other people still call fun and the best time of their lifes, I'm just like 'nah' 👋

Marriage aka commitment is great, the real problem are not the laws or the women, its the people. This generation is lacking commitment, and is too selfish to actually carry the responsibility to make their partner happy, forever. Because nobody wants to work things out anymore, not even married people do. They just fill in the divorce and then complain.

Many people marry for wrong reasons. Very often it is way too soon. But if you marry the right person, life is at its best. ✌️ I am married and I am proud to call myself a wife. And i dont really want to hear shit about my opinion on marriage, because this is supposed to be a positive mytake ✌️✌️

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to add my 2 cents:

Random Benefits of Getting Married in the US:

1. For immigrants ~ US Citizenship

2. Tax Purposes: You will receive a higher refund check filing jointly.
there's More: turbotax. intuit. com/.../INF17870. html

3. Medical coverage if you don't have it but your spouse does.

4. You have more protection if your spouse dies. “If one passes away without a will, the state is going to dictate where your assets go,” Toal says. If your significant other still has parents and siblings in the equation when that happens, they may receive assets over a nonrelated boyfriend or girlfriend.

5. If your significant other is in a car crash, you may have more difficulty seeing him or her at a hospital if you aren’t a blood relation or a legal spouse. And if a judge has to name someone to make healthcare or financial decisions on behalf of your partner, you may be overlooked in favor of a parent or sibling if you aren’t married. “What if the parents of the other person don’t like the significant other?” Toal says. “They will be in court battling for control of everything.”

6. You can receive Social Security benefits. “Spouses have the option of filing for a spousal benefit, which gives them the potential to collect up to 50% of the other spouse’s benefit amount,” says Michael Lynch, vice president of strategic markets for Hartford Funds in Radnor, PA. There is also the possibility for a larger benefit upon the death of a spouse, he says. Imagine, for instance, that you are collecting $1,000 a month in Social Security benefits and your spouse is collecting $1,200 a month. If your spouse dies, you could start collecting survivor benefits of $1,200—a $200-per-month increase. As a domestic partner, you have no such option.

7. You can receive survivor’s benefits from a pension plan. If your spouse is lucky enough to have a pension, and they’ve elected to have survivor’s benefits, you will continue receiving pension benefits after he or she dies. “The benefits are the biggest thing,” says Ted Toal, a financial planner with Rockwood Wealth Management in Annapolis. “Especially for those who are older.”

8. You’ll qualify for an estate tax marital deduction. When one spouse dies, his or her estate passes to the surviving spouse, tax-free. That’s not true for domestic partners, and even though the federal exemption is fairly high—currently $5.34 million—the exemption in some states is low enough to catch even moderate estates.

[Opinion Owner]

9. IRA Benefits - An Individual Retirement Account can be used a few ways in the course of a marriage, including rolling over a deceased spouse's IRA to your own, or you can contribute to a spousal IRA, which is an account that lets an employed spouse contribute to an unemployed spouse's retirement account. There's one caveat, though: You must file a joint tax return to do this.

10. Prenuptial Agreement Benefits, dividing assets fairly between the spouses should the marriage end - Domestic partnerships don't have this.

11. Leave Benefits - Through your employer you can usually take a family leave if your spouse is sick, or bereavement leave if your spouse or someone in your spouse's immediate family passes away.

[Opinion Owner]

12. Longer Life

Research consistently shows that couples in a committed marriage even live longer than those who are single, cohabiting or divorced -- but why?

"To start, the emotional support that is possible in a marriage provides each partner with the feeling of being 'heard,'" licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist Shira Burstein says. "Particularly for men, being in a stable relationship allows men to break outside of gender expectations and roles. With statements that exist such as 'Men don't cry' or 'Men don't talk about feelings,' having a partner provides a safe space to be able to verbalize emotions, feelings and needs that may often go ignored or suppressed on a regular basis."

13. You'll gain an extra family & set of friends

[Opinion Owner]

14. When selling a home: If you're a single person and pass both the IRS time and residency tests, then you're allowed to earn up to $250,000 in profit from the sale of your home -- tax-free. That's a nice chunk of change. But here's the kicker: If you're married, you can make up to $500,000 in profit from the sale of a home without paying a cent in capital gains.

15. Financial security/pool expenses - If one spouse loses a job there's the other spouses income or if one spouse wants to quit their job & go back to school there's the other spouses income

16. Buying A Home - It seems unfair, but married couples usually have an easier time buying a house. Mortgage companies often see domestic partners as high risk for a home loan because they might break up and have to sell the house before it’s paid off. Of course, it’s true that married couples can break up as well, but they would legally have to divide assets, so it’s still a safer investment for mortgage companies.

[Opinion Owner]

17. Insurance Savings - Most insurance companies offer discounts for family coverage, but this goes beyond health insurance! If you and your spouse share an insurance company, you could get discounts on car insurance for having multiple vehicles, and a more affordable home insurance for being a family.

18. Adoption - Adoption if you’re single or unmarried isn’t impossible, of course, but it’s infinitely easier if you’re married. This applies whether you’re adopting a baby from another country or your partner’s children from a previous marriage.

Pretty much all the reasons why gay couples were fighting for the right to marry.

money. howstuffworks. com/.../... its-of-marriage. htm
www.forbes.com/.../
www.theknot.com/content/benefits-of-marriage

[Northeast106]

The financial benefits are structured that way, to give an incentive for a system that doesn't need to exist in the first place. Some of your numbers are not exclusive points to marriage vs cohabiting, for number 11, it's not like they ask you for proof of your marriage. If I say my wife, (even if she isn't legally) passed away and I have a funeral to go to, I'm going to that funeral.

Number 14 has many other exclusive requirements, not every married couple will enjoy that benefit. Number 12 is really skewed, there can be a number of factors including lifestyle choices, healthcare, occupation, etc. Being married vs cohabiting has no bearing on your life expectancy. I can see if it was single vs in a relationship, since those in relationships tend to happier and more stable. Number 15, again if you are sharing a residence with someone, and one person get laid off, your partner can help you until you find a new job.

[Northeast106]

For buying a home, multiple incomes and good credit scores matter more. Along with the down payment, marriage probably has little influence if any when it comes to qualifying for a mortgage.

[Opinion Owner]

@Northeast106
"The financial benefits are structured that way, to give an incentive for a system that doesn't need to exist in the first place."
Yes, this is true because you've done years of research on marriage and have spent years as a Congressman creating laws that govern this country, right. That's your opinion, not truth,

#11 What are you talking about? Your spouse's information would already be in your files in HR, you're employer will know if you're married or not. That benefit is not just for if your wife passes away, its also if "someone in your spouse's immediate family passes away". So you are arguing for nothing

#14 Duh, the point is to show the difference of amounts that you can earn upto

#12 "Research consistently shows that couples in a committed marriage even live longer than those who are single, cohabiting or divorced" With a simple google search you can find those studies for yourself

[Opinion Owner]

#15 Losing a job breaks up couples because it easier to leave but if you're married it would be harder/more costlier to leave

#16 It's not the point what matters more, the point is marriage helps

That's so funny you're trying to argue against this list. They're facts not opinions

www.theknot.com/content/benefits-of-marriage
www.forbes.com/.../
money.howstuffworks.com/.../...its-of-marriage.htm

[Northeast106]

Never noticed your responses, but for number 11 you don't have to be legally married to get time off from work to go to a funeral. It's a ridiculous point.

For number 12, your so called study that proves longer life if your married. Here's the source:
cleveland.cbslocal.com/.../

It was a study involving data from only 200,000 people. We live in a country of 300 million. There are approximately 7.6 million cohabiting couples in this country since 2011. That study is not definitive, not by a long shot. Even reading the article tells you that.

Number 15: If you need economic incentive to keep any couple together, they are together for the wrong reasons. If loosing my job means that my girlfriend would leave me, I don't want her to be legally binded to me in the first place. I don't see how someone staying with you because it would cost too much money for them to leave you is a good thing. Now you just have two miserable people stuck together, instead of them moving on.

[Northeast106]

You don't know what "facts" really are.

[Nicolás25]

so marriages is Great according to women because you get benefits while you're married and you get benefits after the mother f***** dies and you get benefits after you divorce the mother f***** and benefits like being able to see them in the hospital isn't a problem of marriage or no marriage its a problem of state in people's lives like laws that consider people married regardless of compliance after living together for 8 years

[Nicolás25]

Number 12 men live longer in marriage so do animals in a zoo that doesn't mean that they're happy I'd rather be free and happy and die at an early age than live longer in incarceration

[Opinion Owner]

@Nicolás25
You obviously didn't comprehend what was written, so why did you bother commenting?

[Anonymous]

You keep telling guys to not marry a bitch if you don't want to get screwed over.

I was with the most wonderful woman in the world for 10 years before we got married. We were the envy of every other couple we knew because we were best friends, lovers and as tight as tight can be. We were really somthing. I trusted her completely. We got married.
4 years later my 2 year old daughter tells me that mommy said she didn't love me anymore. (My wife had been talking to her friend in front of our daughter) when I confronted my love, best friend and soulmate about this, with a smile she told me that our daughter was making things up, and she loved me as much as ever.
One week later I came home from work and was told that she didn't love me anymore and that I hade to leave the house.
She has since taken the house, everything I ever worked for, left me financially ruined and (what many people don't realize in a long term relationship is that you often loose all your single friends and are left with couples' friends who don't tend to remain close after a divorce ) I lost my friends and life that I knew. Not to mention the emotional side to everything. Having your heart ripped out is not fun.
All I have left is my daughter (fortunately my ex turned out to be a crappy mother and dosen't like taking her daughter, so I get her about 75% of the time.
In the blink of an eye my life was set ablaze and the person I trusted the most in this world was the one holding the match.
For 14 years she would talk about how it's stuped how people give up so easily. For 14 years she told me how she would never be the type to screw a guy over, that things should always be equal.
In fact she sounded much like you and your attitudes.
For 14 years I never cheated, always offered her the best of myself, did everything I could to make our lives great, and made her very happy.
People change and not always for the better.
For me marriage was a disaster. For some it may not be. But nothing is written in stone and the future cannot be seen. Now given that almost all the risk is put on the man now, it makes sense that men are starting to think differently about marriage and if such a thing is worth possibly getting destroyed by.
In the end, as I descovered, you can only truly trust yourself in life.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know what's wrong with my typing skills today. Guess I need sleep. Lol

[Someguy17]

Sad story, but thanks for sharing. I've heard too many like it.

[Mistnigqa808]

Look, on #PenAndPaper marriage sounds good. But I'm sure that as a man the moment that you're sitting in that courtroom (reality) hearing about how ___ is going to get this or that out of your life's earning. I can almost guarantee you that most guys either want to

A #WantToKillTheBroad.

B KillHimSelf for biting into the American dream. Even though it's been proven time and time against that men get screwed over constantly by it.

C #JustGOFuckingBerserk because the girl is going to be getting the kids, house, car, dog, lint out his pocket all while he becomes a hobo in the process. Ya know all due to the girl that he thought once "so called... loved him" YAY!!! (sarcasm)

And that's why I agree with @AlphaMale1 in the sense it of coming back to the "Who wants to sign up for this crap?' line. Cuz marriage seems to be the wrong choice for any guy thus far if and when things fail LOL.

" I love that he loves me so much that he actually does take all the risks that so many men are afraid of." Why take a risk like this when the girl can leave at any moment she deems necessary ONTOP of getting paid to do it by the court system? She knows it.. he knows it -_-.

"More sex, better sex" Word on the street is that ___ doesn't even have to give you any pussy + you can't go get it from anywhere else (morally speaking). So what are you supposed then? Go beat your dick even though you have a so called wife? See the stupid that sounds? I mean ___ expects you to be loyal to her yet she can't take a couple of minutes out of her day to help you release? #NiceTakeThoughILikedIT ^_^
i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

[Mistnigqa808]

B #KillHimSelf for biting into the American dream. Even though it's been proven time and time again that men get screwed over constantly by it. *

[Mistnigqa808]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1668963-if-i-take-care-of-my-wife-completely-financially-why-can-t-i-expect Just look at that and LOL >_< hahahaahahah

[skykidx1]

This generation is lacking commitment. I coudnt argee more with this i thought i find someone truly Special she loved me and i has nothing tooffer her... I was joining the marines at the time but give it up for her she didn't want me going so i didn't wanna lose her because she was more important to me. Ill make this short her parents forced a break up on us over a little disargement we had she was doing something i didn't like so i got upset and told her if it does change ill leave her did mean it but got mád. How would you feel if you. Other half had man speaking too them inappropriately? Even if she was flirting back itsstill wrong its not about what they are sayin. But its about what she says back i was always some what of a doormat and understand because in the past she was treated really badly by man has 6 boyfriend before me and im the first too give her flowers or anything for that matter which is sad. Anyway she cried for months didn't even try standing up too her parents i tries fighting but failed she replaced me 3-4 months later as soon as a guy come in tve picture with a car she blamed. everything on me wouldn't even be their for me while my sisters almost died From cancer fuck u. Right? can't begin too tell you how ifeel about girls because of this now and how ifeel about people. Haha i asked the girl toomarry me thought it would wake her up since she always talked about marrying me in a fes things but her parents were 90% of the problem im now foucsing on mylife n slowl. Improving and learned to never put anyone needs over my own because then ill hav. Nothiing when they leave.

[myTake Owner]

You are right. This generation doesn't know how to love other, ho to commit and how to work things out. Its sad, that is why i am glad i found someone who shares the same mindset and mentality as i do. mi am sorry about your story, hope you will find a better woman

[skykidx1]

Yea it does suck she never Dated anyone over a year so most likely wiill end up single agin very soon I hear ex always come back right? Half of me can't wait so i can tell her to fuck off... and the other half just wants to know why. I now know i dont wanna date a girl who lets her family run her life and neve. To put anyone before me... im hoping one day ill be a nurse mynew dream. Let me tell you about two of m. Friends we will star. With my friend his ex girlfriend cheated on 3 times and he forgive herthen come to find out she had a baby behind his y back n blamed it on hi. Then expected him to take he. Back which he did 3 weeks later then they go on a break then she trys having another baby so he moved on got himselfa better girlfriend his ex girlfriend is now with a guy who cheats on her everything week but she does care because thats her kid dad n she likes the sex sad. Friend 2 a girl her ex boyfriend lefted her with 2 died babys n cheated on her for 3 months come back gave him 2 chance did it agin.

[skykidx1]

So yesyes this generation is fuck up and i can see why man and girls are so hearts in this day age but im not gonna let 1 person change what i belive in im raised by a single mom with 7 kids and a slut dad with 15 kids whos nevertheir for me. Ill still treat women with respected but won't make my life b. All about them from now on till proven otherwise

[myTake Owner]

Well my husband was my first relationship to be honest. I've had sexual partners before but never a relationship. I am glad this worked out for me so well. As for what you are trying to tell me, your girls have been sluts and never forgive cheating. That proves that you got absolutely no backbone and bitches will use you for that. Be a man, have standarts in women

[skykidx1]

This was about my friend n his ex girlfriend and my other friend and her ex boyfriend inever been cheating on yet so i wouldn't know how that feels but i know people who have been cheating on. So pretty much you slept around with man but neve. Had a boyfriend till now just sex? Well we all do all own thing i bee. With 1 girl before my first real girlfriend which my first girl was just sex not a relationship so nothing wrong with that. Was just making the point that you can never be too nice in a relationship and i can understand why man won't marry or dont wanna marry.. and i can understand why girls dont truest man.

[singlebee]

Dude your English sucks !!

[Nik1hil]

I would like to apologize, to many bad comments for you sweetheart.
I would like to congratulate you on finding the love of the life.
I hope that you never have to regret what you said in this take (I hope you have a fairy tale life).
You points in the take are all right and opinions differ from person to person on experience with how many good or bad people they meet.
You topic is nice and things you said are exactly correct.
Faults : such a topic is very sensitive and people have personal opinions thus making it not a very good topic in a my take.
Many Happy couple who realize what does a successful relationship as a marriage, are happy in their life and with their kids, they don't waste their time on websites like this. So you won't find people with positive opinion here.
My opinion : it's a good and true take (but the truth is ugly), and one point is that women only use divorce as a weapon against his husband when the husband have scorned her and her life to a very high extent while they were married. And wasted years of her life. That is why it is said, "Hell hath no fury, then a women scorned."
Overall nice i will follow this take.

[Nuqood]

Sorry, but any guy who says his girlfriend is his best friend is either lying or is a loser. The whole point of dating is to get things that you can't from a friend; I can see why a woman's boyfriend is her best friend since typically women want to involve themselves more in their guy's world than a guy wants to involve himself in her world, but I cannot see what a girlfriend would provide a guy outside of a romantic dynamic (meaning that anything platonic that I can do with her I can do with a guy, and the fem/male relationship dynamic is different from m/m or m/f friendship dynamic).

I'm not going to waste time cutting this down since it's just my opinion, but realistically everything you listed is in the interest of women and not of men. Men can already do all of this stuff with their mates, and the 'more sex, better sex' thing is a joke since, ask any married guy, sex slows down. There's so much I want to say, but it's pointless; Marriage is dying, and personally I hope it never makes a comeback, because it's just a one sided, cutthroat institution.

[myTake Owner]

If you are not best friends with your partner as well as lovers than you are not going to be happy for a long time and surely you should not marry because you cannot rely only on feelings. Your partner needs to be the first person you want to tell things to and feel like you can be yourself around. My husband has male friends but i am still his best friend since i am the only person he can be fully himself with and do all th things with he likes. We have a lot of sex, good sex, we play video games together and have overall fun. i guess youve never been in a successful long term relatio ship that did not get boring

[Nuqood]

None of what you said is true; all of what you said is female perspective.

Men aren't best friends with their partners, and any man who says otherwise is either lying or lacks friends and is completely dependent on his wife for attention. Your husband tells you what you want to hear to shut you up, and you have no proof that he's 'fully being himself' with you outside your own ego.

You're 18=24; You're in the honeymoon phase, so you have no idea what a 'long term relationship' is. Wait until you actually put in work and are 30+; 4 years isn't a long relationship.

[myTake Owner]

I never asked him if i am his best friend. He said it by himself because lof the fact that we like doing the same things. Yes he also has activitys like golf which he likes doing with his mates but i know for a fact that i am his go to person and somebody he loves to spend the time with. Watching movies, eat, play pc games. And we live together since almost 2years. There is no side of him i dont know and there is nothing honeymoon like in my relationship. I am sorry that all yoir relationships have been so dull that you could not identify yourself with any of your partners. Because thats actually the best and most importent part, if you marry out of emotion and "love" only as a couple, than i am pretty sure its soon to fail. There is nothing loser like to connect with your partner. You sound like you're kind of slow in the head. Sorry

[Nuqood]

"You sound like you're kind of slow in the head"

Any credibility you could have had just got thrown out the window with that ad hominem attack. Disagreeing with someone isn't slowness; Your perspective isn't the correct perspective. You're delusional thinking you're his go-to person and like there aren't things he'll tell someone else before you/exclusively to other people that aren't you. Good luck in La La Land for now, but don't try to present yourself as some expert based off of a short-term relationship that ended up in marriage pre-maturely.

[myTake Owner]

Lol ok sir. i am blessed i guess and very thankful that i have 2 things you ain't got. An awesome partner, and positivity

[homper87]

@nuquod and you obviously speak for all men *cough*

[Nuqood]

@homper87 I speak for men who aren't sissies and aren't anxious every time they wake up and crave female attention to the point of being BPD about it, which is the majority of men, so yeah.

Guys talk about things with each other that they won't talk about with women, one of them being about their tactics to pimp a girl's mind. Not many men actually see their gf's as their best friends, it's just summat that women like to hear so men say it to them. There's things men don't tell their girlfriends that they'll tell their best guy mate, so clearly that goes against the 'be yourself' thing in the OP and the 'tell you everything' bit.

Tell me your boyfriend invested just as much interest in your hobbies and your life as you did in his; Tell me he made an effort to do girl things with you and your girlfriends like you did guy things with him and his friends. I can guarantee you that you can't say that he did, because that's the male/female dynamic. Women get infatuated; Men just like.

[Nuqood]

besides, I even made a distinction between majority of men and men who do view women as their best friends, so clearly I'm not even under the impression that I speak for 'all' men.

I've never met a man who truly sees his girl as his best friend, and the only time I ever see that being said is when the guy is trying to woo his chick, be romantic for her, but all of that shit is phony since no guy actually enjoys doing any of that fundamentally. Sorry that I'm the stone breaking the bubble that's been built up over the years by phony men, but really all of this take is nothing but female perspective, all the relo advice columns you see are female perspective, all of the dating scene in general is built around female perspective, and all the crap guys throw at you is targeting your nature.

Most men would rather be doing summat he wants to do than go off on a picnic with you.

[homper87]

Actually he did when we dated (we broke up due to feeling like we were too young for the next step and needed to find ourselves and get settled). But he would leave his guy friends to talk to me on the phone before I went to sleep, would drive 6 hours a month to visit me, would rake leaves on the weekends to earn extra money to see me, would share with me his deepest fears and dreams. Indeed sir, you are mistkaen. You are only speaking for yourself and your group of friends. He wasn''t anxious or obsessed at all... he was in love. We are still friends to this day.

[homper87]

I also don't do typical "girl things" I lift and play sports and watch movies in my spare time. Most of my friends are and have always been guys.

[Nuqood]

He did all that so you'd touch his ding dong, sweetheart.

Do you have solid proof that you knew things about him that no other person did? Or that nobody else knew things about him that you didn't? Or are you just basing that around your ego and nature (wanting to feel like the most important person). Again, all he did was pimped you; I was exaggerating when I said anxious.

Most women watch movies; Most women 'go to the gym'. You do typical girl things because you are a girl, and the only reason you have more male friends than female friends is because you like male attention. You're like most women who aren't like most women, and I can see how full of shit you are just through this interaction. You having to elaborate on why you broke up was redundant, but I can almost guarantee you initiated it. I'd do all that shit for you too if it meant I'd get some ass from you, but that doesn't mean I'd enjoy doing it.

[Nuqood]

Dolphins jump through hoops to be fed by the trainer, not to entertain the guests.

[myTake Owner]

Lol yea you're just a dumbass with no clue about relationships ✌️ But whatever i am the one so, ebody commited to. Must have its reasona

[myTake Owner]

Acting like you all know me qnd shit 😂 you're just dumb man, just dumb

[Sara413]

This take made me really happy :)

I'm not married yet but I met my person about nine months ago and I know I'm going to marry him. My relationship with him is exactly what I want for the rest of my life. I feel more me when I am with him, which I didn't think was possible before I met him. He brings out the best in me and accepts the worst. He balances out my weaknesses and complements my strengths. We are bith better with each other than without, even though we were both fine on our own.

I am very excited because we are moving in together in a couple of months and looking at buying a home together in about a year and a half. I'm greatly looking forward to building a life together with my best friend and partner :)

[myTake Owner]

Sounds really great! Just the way you should feel. Just really move in together before you guys buy anything. Thats like the true way of finding out if he's the one 👌👍

[Sara413]

Yeah we both agree we'd like to live together at least a year before buying together. He already owns a house so I'm just gonna move in there under a roommate agreement for now.

[Bluemax]

"He balances out my weaknesses and complements my strengths"
YES! Good marriages do just that.

All my hopes for a happy life together, Sara413.

[DeltaDanner]

Too many risks involved. In the U. S. marriage is usually a tragic thing to happen to men. You are unhappy, you're a slave to the woman you marry, and of you split you're the one that gets screwed over. You lose everything and she gets to bang other guys at your expense. You are essentially signing up to give all your stuff to a woman wether you like it or not. In the end you are either unhappy for the rest of your life, or you lose everything (and are still unhappy)
That's how marriage is portrayed, that's the example that has been set for me, that's what I've seen and heard of. As a young man marriage seems like a REALLY bad idea.
I want to get married, have kids, be with my best friend forever, but it just seems too risky.

[tl656]

You watch way too much tv and believe in stereotypes too much. I've know more women then men who've lost everything in devoice. The only type it isn't split fairly is when the man cheats or is abusive. That's literally the only time.

[Unit1]

Sincerely written by a female, who isn't going to lose if a divorce is going to happen. Guaranteed!

Don't get me wrong. Marriage today seems like an abused tool in society. Your take represents your aspect on how marriage is awesome for you and likeminded people. It's alright. If it's better for you, then go ahead and follow your goals. We all have different desires.

Studies have shown, that single men are happier than married men. I don't exactly recall the article about that but it represents quite a number and valid arguments on why men remain single and how it's better for them. I suppose you are aware of that one as you created this take.

At least nobody forces anybody anything yet. Except in some 3. th party worlds of tyranny and dictation that is.

[myTake Owner]

Well I am against divorce unless there are big reasons like cheating or abuse. And if for whatever other reason i would divorce, which is not likely, i would never take his money, only in case he cheats on me, and ruins our marriage, i would. Other than that, no. Why would I? I am independent and i certainly dont want to ruin people

[myTake Owner]

And you are American, so thats why you are of course are anti females anti marriage. I am not. My husband isn't. And in the country we currently live in , the women gets nothing in a divorce. And also, i dont know what studies that are, but the whole single thing is only for men who can't keep their dick to themselves or one women, thats what single life is all about for men, sex. isn't it? I am glad i am not a part of your society. I love america and americans, but your new generation and mindsets on certain things, are just, nah.

[Unit1]

Oh, such assumptions :)

[GoodDogNigel]

What makes him anti-women? There was nothing in his post that is anti-women.

Marriage favors women, it's just the way it is.

[GoodDogNigel]

Also, according to every woman in a divorce, it's always the man's fault.

[tl656]

I know 3 woman who've lost everything in devoices... Get your head out your ass... That's just a stereotype.

[myTake Owner]

Agreed! Noouugh times I've seen men leaving their wife for a youngg chick and the wife can't even pay for notghing no more. I onlly hear one sided shit from the guys

[Anonymous]

No a multitude of studies have been done and people that cohabit and aren't married have much more sex on average than married people. It's just how it is. You say at the beginning about it being mostly from the states that you hear a lot of negativity which makes me believe you aren't from the states. Marriage where you're at may be very different from us but yeah marriage is a failing system in the U. S. and has hurt more people than it has helped. It may be better where you're at but for most people here marriage has become this awful thing that just financially ruins you for life if it doesn't work out and the actual benefits that you can only get in a marriage pale in comparison to the negatives. All of those other positive things you talked about can all be achieved with a long term serious SO with no marriage involved. Marriage is for religious or political reasons now. There is no love or romance when it comes to marriage at least in the states.

[myTake Owner]

Well if you marry right and have the right mindset about relationships and marriage this will not happen. I myself am a very sexual women, probably more so than my husband is too. We have action almost everyday. And mainly i do all the work because i like to make him feel satisfied without making him tired lol. And yes i am from Europe and my hisband is Asian so maybe its just different

[Opinion Owner]

The problem is you don't know if you married right until you know you married wrong or you grow old together and die. I personally have no qualm of spending the rest of my life with one lady and have a family with her and to love them and care for them but marriage itself just has no value to me. I'm not even someone that grew up with divorced parents like the majority of people do mine are still very much together so it's not through personal experience that I dislike marriage. It just doesn't seem sensible to me. Everything I want in life can be accomplished without marriage. Marriage can take away almost everything in life that I strive to work towards.

[myTake Owner]

Well if marriage isn't for you then i respect that! 👍 all i am saying is that for me, marriage is awesome, and i dont like that people talk it bad even thoigh its mostly peoples own fault that they got screwed.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree there's a lot of negativity about it on the internet. But I still think most people are on your side and want to have marriage. If it works for you then great. Some people can be really nosey and tell others their marriage is a mistake just because they don't like it. If I know someone is getting married I'm not going to tell them they're making a mistake just because I have a different view on the matter from them.

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, marriage is awesome, I've always said that. If the marriage is perfect (obviously I'm exaggerating), it's the best thing ever. But the problem is that that never happens, or very rarely happens. With the amount of people in the world, it's more probable to marry someone you aren't fully compatible with, than actually marrying one that is.
If I ever find the perfect girl for me, I would want to marry her, but I don't know if I'll ever meet her, so I'd rather stay single, or in a relationship without marriage, than marrying someone that can rip me off if we get divorced.

[myTake Owner]

Yea its the people. Women are not what they used to be neither are men. Thats why i went for someone with traditional values as i am traditional as well

[AlphaMale1]

In the US the male is at a huge disadvantage if the marriage ends up in divorce court. Other than my parents I only know of one couple that are still married from their teen years and they are around my age. Everyone else has at least one divorce and the guys share their nightmare horror stories on how his ex took everything she could from him and a lot of them get to make monthly payments while she is banging guys.

Who wants to sign up for this crap?

[lePoivre]

Well, that puts some of my marriage anxieties at ease. I'm not one to sleep around (in fact I've only ever slept with one guy before and I'm still with him now), but I'm terrified of getting married only to realize that he isn't good for me or vice versa then divorce. The idea of marriage sounds trapping to me, too... but whenever my boyfriend talks about how he can see us being husband and wife one day, I feel super happy. And I must admit, the idea of having your best friend around forever is a good one. Especially if I can expect crazy awesome sex as much as you 😉

[Starfishlover]

You are so lucky. I have the same feelings that you do towards marriage and in would literally give all of my limbs and a few major organs tobe in a marriage to someone who loves me.

Note I am extremely independent but I would love to be with someone for the same reasons you do.

That was an amazing take and enjoyed reading it.

[myTake Owner]

Good luck, hope you find your soulmate ❤️

[Ensiferum]

ahhh, you are korean... it makes sense now.

Koreans are way more conservative, and marriage is really important for them. But you know that divorce is still quite high in SK, right? And i also heard soo many guys cheat there

How do I know that? my girlfriend is from seoul, she wants to come to Canada here and marry me, which is great.

The only thing I dont like about south korean culture is that they want to marry so fast, like, you cannot live with her if you are not married... which is way too fast in my opinion.

But anyway, im probably gonna marry her next year (even though i will be just 21)

Since its sooo important and she's soo important for me.

Anyway, good take, I agree with most of that.

P. S: how old were you when you married?

P. P. S I went to seoul this summer, it was pretty awesome.

Have a great day! :D

[myTake Owner]

I am not korean! My husband is korean and i am european 😉
And beware korean women though. Especially the native ones from korea. As soon as theyre married, they change faces. And they are veryyyyy conservative when it comes to marriage, which means basically they do not want to work. Dont marry her before you know her 100%! I live in korea and I've met a lot of korean girls and foreign guys telling me these storys but anyway good luck to you

[myTake Owner]

And yes its normal for guys to cheat here and go to hookers, my man doesn't simply because he doesn't work and he's americanized so its not his thing, but culture here is far more different than what youve seen one summer. I live here since two years and trust me, people always keep a mask on over here.

[myTake Owner]

And by the way i lived with my partner together for two years which made me sure that he's the one! Dont hestistate and regret marrying her later. Especially since you got a green card! You should move to seoul for a while maybe study and see how it goes with her, move in together. Because i dont want to sound negative but korean women are very very profit hungry and marry not just like that 😅

[myTake Owner]

Oh by the way. Divorce is seem as very bad over here. People dont divorce because that means nobody will marry them no more.

[Ensiferum]

yeah dont worry. I know her really really well.

she's wants to marry fast, but its mostly to reassure her parents. Younger generation seems less and less conservative and more and more like america.

Also, she wants to work, and really dont want to lean on me at all financially.

+ I trust her and im sure she's not acting fake right now, and will show me her true color after marrying.

I heard that quite often though :P

[myTake Owner]

Yes but you are still in your love bubble right now 🙈 unless you guys lived together in the same house for a while its impossible to know her 100%. Id never ever marry like that. And also, Asians do not marry fast usually, unless the social status is very well. That she wants to marry you asap is rather weird. Have you ever met her parents? How long are you guys dating, and from that how much time have you spent together?

[myTake Owner]

And also its not just about you and her, you also marry her family. there's more here to love than the two of you. She should know that.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is a great thing... for the woman. The man has to do whatever she wants, agree with whatever she wants, watch/see/dress/build/decorate however she wants whenever she wants and will be berated for so much as THINKING about another woman.

And then she can then divorce him when he no longer treats her like a little princess and have to give her all his stuff.

For example, my ex-aunt divorced my uncle, and not only got the house but their kids, all his furniture and possessions other than clothes, and he had to pay her monthly sums, even though she married another guy who makes well over $200,000 a year.

Marriage is a huge risk for men with little reward other than societal acceptance and a tax break.

[myTake Owner]

What the hell iw wrong with men who have this expectation of a women? I am sorry but if you marry a bitch like that than its entirely your own fault. mother than that women dont turn into devils just because you signed a paperwork. Smh.

[Someguy17]

@Take Owner So basically you're blaming the victim here? Things change, and sometimes relationships don't work out.

It's not that women turn into devils. It's just that they hold the complete ability to screw a man in divorce (at least in the US.) When you're going through a divorce you're probably already pissed off at your partner. All of a sudden you gain the ability to totally ruin him and get a bunch of stuff/money for doing so. It probably seems like too good of a deal to pass up.

[Anonymous]

You are right on so many aspects my dear! So many. I would just like to point out that in our society today, the real problem with marriage isn't marriage at all. Its Divorce!

And before you come with the usual prenup, do some research, the judge can throw out any prenup for pretty much any reason (and they usually do) including something called "unconscionable" conditions. AKA if the judge doesn't like it they throw it out, making them worthless.

Not to mention you have the difficulty of dragging an already stressful breakup through the courts!

"This generation is lacking commitment, and is too selfish to actually carry the responsibility to make their partner happy, forever." So put yourself in a man's shoes. Most women as you have pointed out are too selfish to try and make their partner happy, PLUS they have the laws, society, and court system stacked in their favor no matter what they do. You can see why so many men especially are hesitant.

[myTake Owner]

Yes but this is exactly what i do not understand. Divorce should not even be an option unless someone cheats or abuses. I dont know why people these days always try to look for a way out once things are not all flowers and hearts. Once bad times appear everybody wants to get out instead of going trugh together and working things out.

[Opinion Owner]

That's it because ITS ALLOWED. The law and courts incredibly favor the woman. Notice how shockingly the vast majority of divorces are instagted by women. Over 70% I believe. Most of those are so called "irreconcilable differences" which is legalise for, I'm too lazy to work things out. Most guys who get married want to stay married. Wheras a lot more women are realizing, that it pays to just give up.

For the record I agree with you. Divorce should only be considered as a recourse in extreme situations such as abuse.

[RationalMale]

given that half of marriages end in divorce, and women file 75%+ of those divorces... marriage isn't forever, nor some situation where you can relax and not worry about having to keep her charmed.

if anything, you have much more on the line requiring you to keep your game sharp.

a girl dumps you, live and learn. wife leaves you, prepare for bankruptcy in family law court.

[myTake Owner]

Again, in america. These laws dont apply worlwide. And women are not hoes everywhere

[RationalMale]

then specify... i daresay a majority of the people on this website are americans.

[myTake Owner]

I am pretty sure they are. In , any pars of Europe divorce rates are much lower than in the US and divorce laws are less cruel as well. It still favors the women but not to a point where you can lose your life to her 🙈 and in the country i currently live, south korea, there are no laws at all. Nobody gets anything. A lot of men abuse this this rule though and cheat like crazy. The women has to take it thoug because if she gets a divorce she has nothing, and her status in society will be ruined.

[tl656]

I like that you got those statistics right out your ass. It was magical.

[RationalMale]

@tl656

Google it. I don't like bothering to post sources anymore since people on this site don't care about sources.

[tl656]

Here's one site that has actually statistics: www.divorcestatistics.info/...rate-in-the-usa.html

There's 4 more and all of them say you're wrong and got yours out your ass.

[Jager66]

No one gets married thinking they chose the wrong person.

If by getting married all I risked was a broken heart then I would support it. Reality is though that men risk losing their children, their home and their retirement. The suicide rate for divorcing men is sky high!!

Plus add the legal system which is set up to destroy any mans life who actually fights for his rights in a divorce can lead to jail time for crimes he didn't commit, loss of drivers license and a life time of indentured servitude (alimony/ unaccountable child support) for the rest of his life.

Even if you don't divorce plenty of married people are unhappy with their relationship, I saw someone break down the numbers once and it's something like 17% of married couples end up happy together, wish I could find the link again.

Non married committed couples have the most sex which also suggest's they are the most happy.

[myTake Owner]

The sex part is just plain wrong lol. At least definitely not for healthy coupls because i want sex everyday at least every second, and my husband worked on that pqrt and we have it more now

[Jager66]

no its true you can look up the research, how long have you been married?

[myTake Owner]

It doesn't matter because i have a very high sex drive from the very beginning of our relationship. My husband tend to be the lazy one. Also i see sex as a priority in marriage, even if i wouldn't want it, id still do it and act like i would because pleasing your partner sexually to me is very importent. Thats why he changed a little and puts more effoert into sex as well.

[Jager66]

yeah i believe you when you say you have a good mairrage/sex life etc..
was just asking because if you haven't been married for like 10 years or more then you are probably still in the honey moon phase of being married and it will take more time to know if your bond will stand the test of time.

[Zrelthrhaiel]

Marriage is a social evil and must be eradicated at least thats how i feel.
1. society expects men to be the first one to initiate and die and toil to bring about marriage.
2. and once they are married they get divorced and become homeless and their own kids are made to believe they are bad.
3. the courts favour women on domestic violence, false marital rape for vengeance and being sent to prison where he can not only get raped but come out with AIDS.
3. Even if the women is a cheating bitch, false paternity, the courts still favour women.
4. the society considers men as walking wallets of fuel since the entire point of getting married is to get kids and live a happy life but most women abort babies for their single life. so the only point to ever getting married is getting screwed over. only a completely insane man would agree to getting married in this day and age.

[myTake Owner]

Ok! Well in this day and age i guess also the women would be insane to marry than since men are all cheating scumbags right?

[knight1986]

Wow, great take i must say. Its was lovely to read :)

"You have someone to come home to, forever." - my eyes went a bit watery when i read this line... and its so true, everyday when i leave home for work i can't help but count the seconds when i can drive home again just to see her standing at the front door... i love it so much. Marriage has been amazing for me knowing that i get to spend my life with her, i mean for me life does not get any better than that

Thanks for this :)

[myTake Owner]

🙌 glad you found the one and married her

[knight1986]

Thanks, yup, i am glad i married her :)

[Pedantic]

The next-next generation will consist of mostly of single mothers or the few remaining married parents. In a way, this kind of solves overpopulation and a lot of the failed ideas and values that lead to us to this place won't get passed on.

I kind of look at it like a self-correcting process.

[myTake Owner]

Its not really a good process if you ask me. Kids will not learn any values anymore or will learn that love takes time and patience. I grew up in a very unstable family and I want nothing else more than to make it work better than my mother did.

[Pedantic]

Well you are right to want to do better. You will either be successful at it and apart of the new generational order, or you will fail and die off.

If we go back in time, far, far, far back in time. Before the Greeks. Before the Assyrians. Far, far, far back, you'll see that there were times where values were bad and times where values are good. Someone very wise said that history was doomed to repeat itself.

[myTake Owner]

I just think that my generation is already doomed. Its all about fucking around and nobody is able to have lasting relationships anymore. Girls become like dudes and and everybody just hates on each other, men on women, feminists on men.

[myTake Owner]

But this is not like this everywhere in the world. Its mainly the US and western cultures. I am married to an Asian men and in their society divorce is seen as something bad so thats why he doesn't believe in divorce either. They value marriage and its one of their goals actually.

[Tarvold]

I like the way you think. I'm totally stealing this whole "feminism is solving world overpopulation" argument!

[myTake Owner]

Its really like that though. The negative image of todays western women is mainly due to feminism.

[Pedantic]

I'm a married man myself, and I'm no fan of feminism, and I also took an Asian. My own parents are married for 60 years this year. All in all I think marriage is great, but the thing is, it isn't for everyone. Not everyone is like me. Not everyone is like you and your husband. Not everyone is a problem solver, and not everyone can do it. A lot of people will end up by the wayside when all is said and done with.

[myTake Owner]

Yes i totally agree! Thats why not everybody should get married in the first place

[myTake Owner]

I just dont like that these people just blame it all on women and marriage itself. Sometimes its you, and they just dont wanna see that

[Pedantic]

LOL yeah, I don't think the problem is a particular gender. When I was young I viewed women as a strange and exotic race of people, but I've come to learn that we are all fundamentally the same, and I think that is kind of an Asian thing. You did mention feminism in your answer and it does remind me that Asia skipped out on any kind of women's movement; they just went straight from footbinding to egalitarianism. I found that both in China and in Singapore these social changes were largely the result of singular decisions by executive leaders. I'm not entirely sure what to make of that, but there it is.

[tl656]

America is barley keeping it's population up... There's no overpopulation here... If you live in Asia then it's a problem.