@Transigence I think you are wrong. Women were still very much forced into being a house mom who obeyed her husband and stayed home and made babies even in the 1950's.
"Stay-at-Home Moms This was also the era of the "happy homemaker." For young mothers in the 1950s, domesticity was idealized in the media, and women were encouraged to stay at home if the family could afford it. Women who chose to work when they didn't need the paycheck were often considered selfish, putting themselves before the needs of their family. "
And here's something that's very telling about being expected to obey... "Decades of Childbearing But even for happy homemakers, pressures were mounting. In a departure from previous generations, it was no longer acceptable for a wife to shut her husband out of the bedroom. "
"The "M. R. S." Degree In the 1950s, women felt tremendous societal pressure to focus their aspirations on a wedding ring. The U. S. marriage rate was at an all-time high and couples were tying the knot, on average, younger than ever before. Getting married right out of high school or while in college was considered the norm. A common stereotype was that women went to college to get a "Mrs." (pronounced M. R. S.) degree, meaning a husband. Although women had other aspirations in life, the dominant theme promoted in the culture and media at the time was that a husband was far more important for a young woman than a college degree. Despite the fact that employment rates also rose for women during this period, the media tended to focus on a woman's role in the home. If a woman wasn't engaged or married by her early twenties, she was in danger of becoming an "old maid." "
In short, it can be inferred that women were still considered vastly inferior and listened to their husbands mindlessly.
You forgot the most important thing of being a good wife: control the family finances.
Maybe it's just limited to some East Asia countries but generally the 1st thing the husband does is to hand over his bank book and let his wife do the managing. Of course, being the man of the house, he gets to make the 'important' decisions like a CEO. The wife will, of course, fulfill her duty as the CFO and keep the CEO from running lose with his grand ideas.
Oh no, it's not about married into money. Its about controlling the family. Asian housewife are believed to be very frugal. They would cut down costs like a CFO raising funds. Men, on the other hand, are believed to be lose with money; buddies, booze, babes.
Of course, now we have shoes and other women's products so the line is a little blurry. Women shopping can get expanse, fast.
I managed the money and finances when I was married. My husband gladly handed over his cheques to me for 12 years. We shared bank accounts though so we both saw where the money was going.
Actually I think everything is quite on point, besides the submit and obey. At least I would like my wife to make it known if she thinks that my decision is bad. As well 1,2, and 4 should apply to the man. Both of you should commit, support, and put the family first and think of the other whilst making decisions. Marriage is all about working things out together, not letting the other take control of everything.
Sounds like a sentence of lifetime of torture, agony and pain.
Commit for life - How can anyone feel happy and okay when they know they are trapped or attached with someone else. Happiness comes from freedom.
Support and encourage - Admit it there are lot of dumbs and doofs out there, encourage them and they will annoy more, and people with outdated traditions are usually dumbs and morons who can not accept change.
Submit and obey = Seriously, she is a women and my wife, she ain't no slave, and on around 10% of men out there are smart and strong, you cannot avoid democracy there.
Put him first = like a women does not have a brain of her own and has no freedom to choose, she is an object and belongs to one man or other.
Being a good traditional wife is a bullshit, I would happily divorce such brainless, a submissive minion.
thanks I would gladly be a pessimist, then one of those dicks bound with stupid social norms. Not unless she want to live such a life, then she is not my type.
Being realistic, the bottleneck of this myTake is "Trust that you chose the right man". To commit to this degree where to find this "right man". Do we have these kind of "right men"?
Because if it is "pseudo right man", our stupidity will make sure we won't mentally, professionally, socially, spiritually, physically and financially progress in life.
Obviously if this bottleneck is crossed, everything is happy happy in a married life.
I wouldn't mind this. It feels nice to be feminine and submit to your husband who knows what he's doing and has his bests interests out for you. I wish more men were traditional and protective over their women.
why not make mix of both? I will try to obey my husband since he let me be hella cool, successful... Leave Job if he finance u, u still can make a home business It's like 50/50 equal... You take care of the family inside & he take care outside (his task is harder) If I had the chance to earn free money just for taking care of him & kids & house I would like it's easy Job haha
Submit and obey? Why can't decisions be made together as a team and why can't the wife be just as smart as him? A marriage is composed of two adults capable of taking responsabilities.
that's just the thing though. IF he treats you well. Ya if he does it's all fun and games but if he doesn't this take is god awful advice. This is I think why people are bothered by it. It gives one fits all advice, that in some situation can be very destructive
@nalaa. Submitting doesn't mean allowing him to abuse and misuse his influence over you. It means trusting him when the deck is stacked against him. So when there is a problem and he comes to you for advice, you don't nag, you don't try and control the situation, you state your opinion and trust That he will make the best decision concerning your family. And if his decision doesn't come to fruition as he planned you don't say "I told you so" you offer support and suggest looking at the problem from a new angle. Submission to your husband is not a bad thing. It doesn't make you inferior. And if somehow you do find yourself in a abusive situation submission dictates that you say "hey, I don't feel safe. We need to work on A, B, and C." if that means calling the police do so. If that means putting space between y'all do so. Your safety should be the most importance to anyone in That position of control.
I like everything except "submit and obey". I don't think there's anything wrong with having a leader in the relationship but I wouldn't want her to just blindly obey. I'd want input and to be told if I'm wrong about something.
Otherwise I do kinda like the idea of a traditional girl, one who hasn't slept around and doesn't party all the time.
I don't think a lot of girls understand you "submit and obey" point. I think perhaps you should've changed it to "surrender to his leadership" a lot of girls take the words you used wrongly because they don't know what you meant.
You need to read the original meaning of the text. Submitting does not mean obeying. I have a degree in Bible and can tell you the Greek word is hupotasso. That is a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in amilitary fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assumingresponsibility, and carrying a burden." It means to surrender to his leadership in a voluntary fashion.
Sometimes it is translated as "obey" in English, but that is not the correct usage of the original Greek.
So it does not mean if your husband tells you to do something you just have to obey him whatsoever. What it means is to respect him and unless what he says is utterly ridiculous, or a obvious sin, you let him lead things. But if you don't agree, you most certainly can speak up and even say "no." It's an attitude of submitting, it's not as much of an act.
I prefer a more modern approach with a tad-bit of old fashioned thinking. As in, I wouldn't want her to be what amounts to my servant BUT she'd be the supportive and nurturing one while I'd be the dominant and leading one. A perfect symbiosis.
@Azara I didn't intend to imply I wouldn't be supportive in and of itself. What I meant by what I wrote was that I'd play the mostly leading role and she'd play the supporting role. Unless she would seriously want to, I'd make the serious decisions BUT I would consult her every time. As in, rely on her support to make those decisions.
I like how people come here just to bash it. You critics are really the sole reason why marriage is falling the developed nations. Also it is the reason why most men that still favors this are actually traveling to nations where it the development has never reached our levels yet, or had just become developed since the women living there knows what it is like to have men mistreat them, or ladies mistreat them so good luck with your single lives for the rest of the time on this Planet.
Nah I'll pass. I don't do traditional relationships and I'll be damned if I ever let a man control me or make the decisions on his own about things in our relationship. I was already married once and won't ever do it again.
I disagree on submit and obey marriage is two persons becoming one it's jot who's the strongest and who must obey the other it's about u listen to her and she listens to u
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I was always opposed to most of these "traditional" stuff.
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'Submit and obey'
What year is it, 1923? Everybody has their preferences, but wow
Actually, that shit was already over with in 1923.
@Transigence maybe 1874 then
@Transigence I think you are wrong.
Women were still very much forced into being a house mom who obeyed her husband and stayed home and made babies even in the 1950's.
www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/pill/peopleevents/p_mrs.html
"Stay-at-Home Moms
This was also the era of the "happy homemaker." For young mothers in the 1950s, domesticity was idealized in the media, and women were encouraged to stay at home if the family could afford it. Women who chose to work when they didn't need the paycheck were often considered selfish, putting themselves before the needs of their family. "
And here's something that's very telling about being expected to obey...
"Decades of Childbearing
But even for happy homemakers, pressures were mounting. In a departure from previous generations, it was no longer acceptable for a wife to shut her husband out of the bedroom. "
"The "M. R. S." Degree
In the 1950s, women felt tremendous societal pressure to focus their aspirations on a wedding ring. The U. S. marriage rate was at an all-time high and couples were tying the knot, on average, younger than ever before. Getting married right out of high school or while in college was considered the norm. A common stereotype was that women went to college to get a "Mrs." (pronounced M. R. S.) degree, meaning a husband. Although women had other aspirations in life, the dominant theme promoted in the culture and media at the time was that a husband was far more important for a young woman than a college degree. Despite the fact that employment rates also rose for women during this period, the media tended to focus on a woman's role in the home. If a woman wasn't engaged or married by her early twenties, she was in danger of becoming an "old maid." "
In short, it can be inferred that women were still considered vastly inferior and listened to their husbands mindlessly.
You forgot the most important thing of being a good wife: control the family finances.
Maybe it's just limited to some East Asia countries but generally the 1st thing the husband does is to hand over his bank book and let his wife do the managing. Of course, being the man of the house, he gets to make the 'important' decisions like a CEO. The wife will, of course, fulfill her duty as the CFO and keep the CEO from running lose with his grand ideas.
Exactly, the wife runs the household. The Husband builds it, the wife maintains it
Yeah, fuck that. If she wants to manage some money, she can get a job.
Oh no, it's not about married into money. Its about controlling the family. Asian housewife are believed to be very frugal. They would cut down costs like a CFO raising funds. Men, on the other hand, are believed to be lose with money; buddies, booze, babes.
Of course, now we have shoes and other women's products so the line is a little blurry. Women shopping can get expanse, fast.
I managed the money and finances when I was married. My husband gladly handed over his cheques to me for 12 years. We shared bank accounts though so we both saw where the money was going.
Actually I think everything is quite on point, besides the submit and obey. At least I would like my wife to make it known if she thinks that my decision is bad. As well 1,2, and 4 should apply to the man. Both of you should commit, support, and put the family first and think of the other whilst making decisions. Marriage is all about working things out together, not letting the other take control of everything.
Sounds like a sentence of lifetime of torture, agony and pain.
Commit for life - How can anyone feel happy and okay when they know they are trapped or attached with someone else. Happiness comes from freedom.
Support and encourage - Admit it there are lot of dumbs and doofs out there, encourage them and they will annoy more, and people with outdated traditions are usually dumbs and morons who can not accept change.
Submit and obey = Seriously, she is a women and my wife, she ain't no slave, and on around 10% of men out there are smart and strong, you cannot avoid democracy there.
Put him first = like a women does not have a brain of her own and has no freedom to choose, she is an object and belongs to one man or other.
Being a good traditional wife is a bullshit, I would happily divorce such brainless, a submissive minion.
What a pessimist lol
thanks I would gladly be a pessimist, then one of those dicks bound with stupid social norms. Not unless she want to live such a life, then she is not my type.
wait this is not the status quo politically correct ideals of 2015 !
Triggered I am triggered !! quick some one get me to a safe space right now !!!
nah kidding nice point of view
Haha exactly
Being realistic, the bottleneck of this myTake is "Trust that you chose the right man". To commit to this degree where to find this "right man". Do we have these kind of "right men"?
Because if it is "pseudo right man", our stupidity will make sure we won't mentally, professionally, socially, spiritually, physically and financially progress in life.
Obviously if this bottleneck is crossed, everything is happy happy in a married life.
I wouldn't mind this. It feels nice to be feminine and submit to your husband who knows what he's doing and has his bests interests out for you. I wish more men were traditional and protective over their women.
why not make mix of both?
I will try to obey my husband since he let me be hella cool, successful... Leave Job if he finance u, u still can make a home business
It's like 50/50 equal... You take care of the family inside & he take care outside (his task is harder)
If I had the chance to earn free money just for taking care of him & kids & house I would like it's easy Job haha
Submit and obey?
Why can't decisions be made together as a team and why can't the wife be just as smart as him? A marriage is composed of two adults capable of taking responsabilities.
Put him first?
Is he willing to reciprocate too?
In my opinion a husband has the responsibility of putting his family's needs first so yeah :) and I consider a marriage a team, just with a leader
This is great take. As long as your husband treats you kindly there is nothing wrong with submission.
that's just the thing though. IF he treats you well. Ya if he does it's all fun and games but if he doesn't this take is god awful advice. This is I think why people are bothered by it. It gives one fits all advice, that in some situation can be very destructive
@nalaa. Submitting doesn't mean allowing him to abuse and misuse his influence over you. It means trusting him when the deck is stacked against him. So when there is a problem and he comes to you for advice, you don't nag, you don't try and control the situation, you state your opinion and trust That he will make the best decision concerning your family. And if his decision doesn't come to fruition as he planned you don't say "I told you so" you offer support and suggest looking at the problem from a new angle. Submission to your husband is not a bad thing. It doesn't make you inferior. And if somehow you do find yourself in a abusive situation submission dictates that you say "hey, I don't feel safe. We need to work on A, B, and C." if that means calling the police do so. If that means putting space between y'all do so. Your safety should be the most importance to anyone in That position of control.
I like everything except "submit and obey". I don't think there's anything wrong with having a leader in the relationship but I wouldn't want her to just blindly obey. I'd want input and to be told if I'm wrong about something.
Otherwise I do kinda like the idea of a traditional girl, one who hasn't slept around and doesn't party all the time.
I don't think a lot of girls understand you "submit and obey" point. I think perhaps you should've changed it to "surrender to his leadership" a lot of girls take the words you used wrongly because they don't know what you meant.
That's ok if people disagree but I truly mean submit and obey
Then I don't agree. Are you Muslim? Because if you are Christian, that is not what Christians believe. If you are Muslim, than that makes sense.
I'm Christian. The bible says to submit to your husband
You need to read the original meaning of the text. Submitting does not mean obeying. I have a degree in Bible and can tell you the Greek word is hupotasso. That is a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in amilitary fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assumingresponsibility, and carrying a burden." It means to surrender to his leadership in a voluntary fashion.
Sometimes it is translated as "obey" in English, but that is not the correct usage of the original Greek.
So it does not mean if your husband tells you to do something you just have to obey him whatsoever. What it means is to respect him and unless what he says is utterly ridiculous, or a obvious sin, you let him lead things. But if you don't agree, you most certainly can speak up and even say "no." It's an attitude of submitting, it's not as much of an act.
Fair enough. I choose to obey regardless
That's your choice! But the Bible actually doesn't command that. Not what obey means in English at least.
I prefer a more modern approach with a tad-bit of old fashioned thinking. As in, I wouldn't want her to be what amounts to my servant BUT she'd be the supportive and nurturing one while I'd be the dominant and leading one. A perfect symbiosis.
so you would not be supportive and nurturing... how would that make you a good husband?
@Azara I didn't intend to imply I wouldn't be supportive in and of itself. What I meant by what I wrote was that I'd play the mostly leading role and she'd play the supporting role. Unless she would seriously want to, I'd make the serious decisions BUT I would consult her every time. As in, rely on her support to make those decisions.
I like how people come here just to bash it. You critics are really the sole reason why marriage is falling the developed nations. Also it is the reason why most men that still favors this are actually traveling to nations where it the development has never reached our levels yet, or had just become developed since the women living there knows what it is like to have men mistreat them, or ladies mistreat them so good luck with your single lives for the rest of the time on this Planet.
in*.*.
has not improved, where*.*.
Nah I'll pass. I don't do traditional relationships and I'll be damned if I ever let a man control me or make the decisions on his own about things in our relationship. I was already married once and won't ever do it again.
Woul YOU Smash Your MANS XBIX If He Played To much
"Submit and obey while my boyfriend goes to fuck his side bitch."
😂
Can't argue with that, love, having multiple wives and concubines without you having any say in it was indeed very traditional.
Congratulations on being historically accurate there.👍
Thanks! Multiple wives is in the bible 😊
I know, that's why it's so hilarious.😂
Lol k
I disagree on submit and obey marriage is two persons becoming one it's jot who's the strongest and who must obey the other it's about u listen to her and she listens to u
I was always opposed to most of these "traditional" stuff.
This isn't even traditional. It's courtly love from the Victorian era.
I know, but I dislike it anyway ;)
Traditional relationships involve both the man and the woman working their asses off and living in squalor, always on the brink of destitution.
That depends on the couple.
interesting take... but wait..."submit and obey" O_O!!!
Religious notion of masculinity and femininity.
I'm not going to obey anybody against my better judgement, no matter who it is.