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In Defense of Arranged Marriage (Page 2)
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U can make those background checks in normal dating too. Also it usually doesn’t happen that educational or financial different backgrounds match. Those people usually hang out with their own people. Main exception might be some rich guy dating a gold digger but besides that it doesn’t really happen much
Also I don’t want any help by my parents when it comes to dating and choosing a partner
I'd rather arrange my own marriage. I don't want my parents to dictate me.
At the same time, I don't like how much importance is given to looks and sex in love marriages.
Looks are important to a certain extent. They are not everything.
In the western society people seem to marry and stay with the ones they can enjoy sex with.
Like is nothing else important?
SMV, incels? How much do you fucking read online? like wow.
To understand those terms and connecting it to the social issues needs some getting used to.
(By the way most the reditt is bullshit and all the terms derived from there.)
Great myTake by the way.
The population we have if we adopt the American style of dating, India will succumb to living doom.
I agree many things you said, I think most of opposite to engaged marriage are based on things of old times and not for the use in it.
I especially agree with the problems of new marriage and love where hormones decide more than heart or mind.
I am a strong advocate of arranged marriage but only in an Orthodox Christian context, as other religions have insufficient theologies to build the marriage with the right principles.
1. I don’t really think the sexual compatibility thing applies in the proper marital context.
2. I think it is absurd to say it’s arranged marriage vs “love marriage.” It really shows ignorance on the part of those who by into the Western ideas of free-dumb.
Overall, arranged marriage is based.
When people can enter loveless marriages for financial reasons it's hard to see arranged marriages as you described it to be a bad thing.
Arranged marriage is a great way to build alliances and secure support once you wish to claim the throne. Hot girl with normal family and no lands or an average girl whose father is a king? Doesn't take no Einstein to figure this one out.
Interesting
So you would go for arranged marriage only?
I'm in relationship with someone rn, but if I weren't, arranged marriage was definitely on list. I have kept my both options open. A lot of people do it these days.
What about emotional as well as physical compatibility in arrange marriage?
This is interesting. Thank you for enlightening us.
The whole idea of marrying before falling in love is just off.
Marrying for love is a very new idea historically. Sure, many did marry with love in mind, but it was primarily done for other reasons.
@Scarecrow13 That may be the case but it's an improvement in my opinion. There are lots of things that used to be done differently, doesn't mean we have to go back to those days when the way we do it now, or st least the ideal now is better than it used to be.
Wow, I did not expect this! I am shocked, I guess I've learned something! You made some good points here!
This does not change my outlook. Filtering a girlfriend through my parents would not work because they don't know me half as well as they think they do
Arranged or not arranged im not marrying either way anyway. I will rather remain single and free of all the drama that comes to when you are in a relationship with anybody, much less want kids. Not for me
The very first part is what creeps me the fuck out "parents set up your profile"... Get out of the stone age you poor brainwashed soul
Lol parents setting up doesn't mean that they force them or anything. Its just that parents are involved in it, unlike dating. Nothing stone agey about it. I'm not brainwashed, I could say same to you too.
My cousin got married to an unattractive man. it was an arranged marriage.
Her father encouraged her to marry him. why?
Positive things-
Because he was really hardworking man. They were very poor, but this guy worked hard and now earns a good salary and he's the only person in his family who earns money.
Guy's mother was really soft spoken and supporting. And they would support her to continue education after marriage.
They own land in case they need emergency financial support and insurance policies too.
Earlier, they had other options like military men and doctors for my cousin. But her parents had her get married to a police men since he lives close to her parent's home.
They had family trips and visited piligrimage sites. We keep contacting them.
Negative things-
Guy's sisters are not well mannered
They speak too much.
The area where they live is crowdy.
Her parents are quite wealthy and supporting. Her brothers love her so much.
Seems they're happy.
I have seen many people lead a happy married life.
Her parents were reluctant to marry her off to a very distant place. They simply wanted to ensure that she lives happily. My mother advised her to keep distance from her sister in law's and to study nicely
She had other options but she agreed with her father who wanted her to marry a hard-working guy, even tho it was a poor family.
Why because i have free will and my parents dont sell me off like a commodity? hope they get a lot of goats for you
What the heck is wrong with people?
We just ensure financial security before marrying off... in case of unexpected accidents and mishaps, what's wrong with that?
With this increasing competition with a densely populated country, it's difficult for anybody to get jobs.. That's why we have to check that out.
Besides, we could have married her in even richer families. She was married in a family who possessed some land and a proper place (near to her parents home) to live. They were not too rich. The other guy who was a doctor wanted to stay in Mumbai far away from her home. People need support from family. You can't accuse us for "selling" her as a "goat" or a "commodity ". You Fool!
That's why, in order to help them, close relatives gift some "useful" things like we bought them a refrigerator from our family (everyone doesn't own a refrigerator here). They will take months to earn (and save) money for buying a refrigerator. We are financially stable, so we can buy them one, she's the loved one, as I said.
Parents don't "sell" us off. They ask us "Will you marry him/her?"
Everybody is not an confident outgoing person. Everybody is not able to get a perfect partner. Even confident attractive and successful people use arranged marriage system as a last resort when they can't get into relationship with someone they would prefer to live. Nobody gets everything that they wish for. Learn to accept things. Adopt according to situations.
OH MI GOD ARJUN KAPOOR
You like him? 😅
He is bad at acting but he is a cutipie.
I used to think Arjun was better than ranbir in looks but tbh ranbir is really catching up these days
He is fugly
In the VAST majority of cases, arranged marriage IS forced marriage. Even that aside, it's still a stupid idea.
You are wrong on both counts there
Given the people my parents have suggested I date over the years, they are about the last ones I would look to for advice on the matter.
Been there. My mom thought this one new girl at church would be perfect for me. I even shoveled her van out of a snow bank once, as a courtesy. But when I wanted to know if she'd be at a place for coffee with the others, she changed the topic to telling me that she'd never ever date me. I wasn't even at the point of bringing up dating yet! Part of me was thinking: "Oh well!"
It was completely out of nowhere. My mom was quite upset and disappointed to learn that her matchmaker visions couldn't be any further from reality.
@ObscuredBeyond what did your mom say?
@ThisDudeHere : "Well, that's unfortunate! I was hoping she'd be perfect for you. "
We're not in the Middle Ages anymore. People can do what they want and get divorced.
Ugh. Read the whole thing first and then comment. An arranged marriage is also about doing whatever you want.
Part of your argument is the fact that arranged marriages have less divorces. Divorce isn't that big of a deal anymore. It's unrealistic to assume two people can be happy with each other for 50+ years.
It's not unrealistic at all. I've been to several 50th anniversaries for relatives and they still seemed happy.
@zagor most are not happy. %50 end in divorce for a reason.
I don't like that it equals the playing field for ugly people, the better people should get better options. In Europe class is not so important anymore. We have no need to arrange marriages.
None of this excuses the fact that you're not marrying because you didn't fall in love.. please leave the year 1699 behind and join us here
Falling in love is a chemical reaction, akin to going for someone because you're all coked up.
@zagor Citation needed, Please site your research professior
Professor***