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We dated for four years and then engaged for one year. There were no surprises. We have been married for many years now. My thought was if we were going to get married anyway, it didn't matter if we were just dating for so long. But after four years it was time to move forward otherwise we may have disintegrated as there wasn't any longterm commitment. It worked for us.
Relationships are a lot of hard work, and when you feel your partner has changed on you, I think you need to evaluate why and what can be done to salvage the relationship. But on the other hand if the relationship meant nothing, as it obviously did in your case then by all means move on and let your partner find someone who actually loves them and all of their moods.
I agree with everything you state. But I believe we must add that divorces today are biased and almost always in favour of women. This is one more reasons turning men away from marriage. I saw this problem in my own father (yes my parents got divorced about 15 years ago).
I'm sorry you feel that feel, marriage isn't for everyone though, not everyone is cut out for it either. I do see the point you are trying to make though.
People seem to forget though that marriage is about a lot more then love or showing it, it's a partnership it's about trust, faith and holding yourself to a higher power and set of values. To be better then you were and to finalize your relationship in the presence of The Lord.
There is no good reason to get married. Plenty of good reasons for having committed relationships though.
Marriage isn't for everyone, and I thought the same way... until I met the man I wanted to marry, who also wanted to marry me.
There is more to marriage than a piece of paper and a fancy ceremony with cake. Marriage is about how you treat the other person. So you don't need that piece of paper or that fancy ceremony (unless you want the tax benefits).
exactly.
As I tend to say, "you should only marry when both of you agree it's not necesary".
The point? Only marry a person if both of yo uare so confident in th relationship that you are 100% sure it will last for life, even if you do not marry.
I would like to get married someday but be very careful about it. I just feel like we'd get lonely without marriage. Unofficial relationships are not quite the same. However not everyone has to do it, I agree
Nothing wrong with not wanting to get married and have kids. At least you have acknowledged it before you had kids and got married. If only more people were that sensible.
I could understand why you don't want to get married because there is always the down side but marriage could also be a beautiful thing if the partners could learn to work with their flaws and still find a way to be happy after all marriage is a commitment maybe some day you will meet a man who will change your mind.
Well marriage isn't for everyone true. It does change people but its not actually getting married its the person's mindset really.
Nothing defines love a like signed agreement with limited conditions enforced by the state.
Anybody see Game of Thrones last night? Did you see the scene where the King asks "Is this the Winterfell bastard?" lol
Marriage is about having class. Decide for yourself if being classy is right for you.
What a load of crap, about class? Yeah when you get drive through weddings it's all class!
What a load of BS.
@SkateDieRepeat Are you saying that if two people decide to get married then they have to be classy? In your own opinion how is marriage about having class.
Did you not read the bit about Game of Thrones?
It's all right there in the show. The family lineages and titles and all that shit. It's a depiction of all the ideals family loyalty.
The joke is of course that I'm suggesting that we all get our values on what marriage should be from a fantasy show were people kill each other for stupid reasons.
But it is what it is. Is it worth it to get married to spare your children the shame of being bastards? Will they even care? Who, if anyone, would care? I don't know.
I can't shake the feeling though that the more money a person has, the less likely they'll agree with the argument put forth here.
Louis CK said "marriage isn't forever, it's just for as long as you can put up with eachother, divorce is what lasts forever"
This is very good. It would be cool if more women thought the way you do.
For me marriage is not only about 2 people but for me i say it's about having children. Not only find your life partner but also having kids as well. If you are not religious, then that is another story.
Good for you. But I want to have kids in the future and I don't want my kids to question why mom and dad didn't get marry.
The key question of successful marriage is to find the right person, who has similar views in many things with you, and with few views you disagree. Those who fear marriage maybe want to get more from another, they longed so much for love, but just open your heart to love others, you can get more love from others.
My parents aren't married, they never have been. They don't really even "love" each other, but they've stuck together so far, which is more than I can say for a lot of married couples.
Why would anyone want to be with someone they do not really love?
They work together. I don't know. Ask my parents.
I am sorry Hannah while I agree with most of your takes on this one i am going to use the well known "if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all" (well its not nasty i am not that kind of person).