I got a married coworker pregnant, what do I do now?

[Anonymous]

Helpful please because I am freaked the hell out. I have a married coworker who is very sexy and due to her husband mistreating her and no longer sleeping with her, she had sex with me. Realizing how good she was I kept on sleeping with her and today at work she tells me she's pregnant. She also told me she's leaving him because the abuse is nonstop. What have I gotten myself into?

[JPrez]

First off bro, take a deep breath, relax, clear your mind and sort through this mentally for the challenges ahead. While this is difficult, you can overcome it and make lemonade out of the lemon. First off, talk with her and get her thoughts, then a paternity test at some point. The baby should not pay for the mistake both of you made. Agree to keep the baby and prepare to team up for parenting with her - this is where you have to man up. If it's yours, you financially support the baby either with her or without her (preferably with her as a child deserves to have two parents actively in their life). Tough times don't last but tough people do. Also, pray a lot and that will help you through the upcoming rough spots. You can do this!

[Anonymous]

Well, maybe she'll leave him for you. Suck it up... you need to take responsibility...

Remember this rule: "wrap it before you tap it" Although, it is too late now.

[Asker]

I already accept my consequences for my actions.

[Paris13]

You need to make First After Five here, dear, that she is telling you the Bare Truth and Not be Lying to you as an Excuse To... Leave him and hook up with you.
Make some arrangements to meet up and talk alone. Tell her you have to Have proof in the Semi sweet Pudding that this the Fact and go on from there.
And even if it is a Reality, Make certain too that You are the Daddy, for One never knows what Goes behind closed doors after the job is done at the end of the day, even when living under the same Rough Roof.
Good luck. xx

[Paris13]

Thank you, sweetie, for the Vote of Confidence. xxoo

[Cmasterson]

Well firstly the option of having safe sex clearly got thrown out the window, secondly you have to own up to what you have done, doesn't necessarily mean you have to talk to her husband however you two will have to figure out what to do and find something you both agree on. Doesn't mean you have to go and date her and or marry her.

[Joc4Position]

"Well firstly the option of having safe sex clearly got thrown out the window"

#Factz The fool raw dogged her.

[Cmasterson]

@Joc4Position thats not always certain.

[Joc4Position]

Well yeah the condom could have broke or something, but he told me he didn't use protection.

[Zendrya]

sounds like you got yourself a girl and a kid. Congrats

[Asker]

It's not even kid. DNA test came back and showed I am not the dad.

[Zendrya]

then you don't have to worry about it

[rescuemyheart]

She should leave him and have an abortion. Then reasses.

[Asker]

This could messy if he finds out but it's also my fault that I slept with her.

[Zendrya]

how would an abortion solve anything? Totally not against abortion I just don't see the relevance to the situation

[Joc4Position]

@ Zendrya Because then it wouldn't be noticeable that she got pregnant. The asker said her and the husband haven't been having sex so the husband would probably know it's not his.

You know what that means? Divorce court. Yaaaaaay!!! Everybody is happy.

[Zendrya]

@Joc4Position ya but she is suggesting she leave him and get an abortion... wouldn't just leaving him solve the problem?

[Joc4Position]

@Zendrya Ohhhhh good point.

[rescuemyheart]

@Zendrya how on earth would just leaving him solve the problem? That would make her single and pregnant by a man with whom she had an affair... who clearly sees the pregnancy as a problem.

She should leave her husband because he's abusive and she clearly doesn't love him. She should end the pregnancy and keep it between the two of them because it's clearly unwanted.

As for how they proceed after that, it depends on what each of them wants.

[Zendrya]

or she can try it out with the baby daddy. I just feel like this isn't a good reason to end the pregnancy... they fucked without protection... but really she can do what she wants

[rescuemyheart]

@Zendrya "trying it out with the baby daddy" is a ridiculous idea under normal circumstances of unwanted pregnancies. Let alone when the pregnancy is the product of an affair.

Of course it's her choice. But it's clearly in everyone's best interest that these people who are clearly unfit for parenthood at this time don't become parents. The pregnancy is early, there's no reason to continue it... this what abortion is here for.

[Zendrya]

There is no point in arguing about this when it involves neither of us. we just have different ideas of when abortion is reasonable

[rescuemyheart]

@Zendrya an abortion is reasonable whenever it's most convenient. End of story.

[Zendrya]

I think women should be able to whenever they want but I don't agree with it and I am entitled to not agree.

[rescuemyheart]

@Zendrya you're not entitled to agree, no.

[Joc4Position]

At the end of the day they got two choices. Either keep it or not keep it. Whichever one they do will probably have a big influence on what happens after that.

[Asker]

@Joc4Position she just told me today she would leave him for me.

[Joc4Position]

Asker: Oh okay. That's promising for the child then.

[Joc4Position]

Asker: Of course it would be your and her choice... if it's yours.

[MrDetermined]

I think you are not taking the husband into consideration. She is a cheating slut and deserves to suffer the consequences. The husband definitely does not deserve to have a child from such a woman and the homewrecker is at fault here too, the best solution would be to leave her husband without mentioning her shitty actions to him so they can raise their child together.

[rescuemyheart]

@MrDetermined he said the husband was abusive. I don't really care what an abuser thinks about his wife cheating

[HookingSwan]

or she could assume responsibility for her actions and raise the child on her own, duh

despite of the baby daddy wanting to be involved or not
And I think he should at least be involved in the kid's life

@asker that's why sex is something that requires lots of responsibility. Will you really leave a child without a father? is That the kind of man you are? I am not saying that you should be with the mother. But you can at least assume your responsibilities for the child's sake -___-

[MrDetermined]

That doesn't mean she has to become a cheating slut. You don't even know how BAD the abusing was, she might have been overreacting. I think she lowered herself on a worse position than him this way. It's very scummy for women to cheat just because they don't get sex as well, totally lacking self control, that's despicable in my eyes.

[rescuemyheart]

@MrDetermined I actually don't remember being sympathetic to anyone involved. Not that I know them or care. He asked for advice... my advice was everyone involved should man up and do the responsible thing

@HookingSwan that makes no sense. But it comes down to different ideas on abortion and we won't ageee

[HookingSwan]

ultimately it is the mom's choice. I am just saying why say right away to abort? She may want the child. udk...

[rescuemyheart]

@HookingSwan can't see why anyone would want a baby by a man she slept with when she was married to an abuser.. who sees the pregnancy as a problem.

A baby is a decision that requires careful planning for yours and its sake. Health risks, medical bills, stretch marks, downtime, diapers, food, clothes, toys, post partum depression. Not to mention babysitters cuz it'll need non stop attention.

And if she's a single mom like she very likely will be, it makes all that 10 times harder. Saying "ooh have the baby, babies are cute" might seem easy when it's a miniature blob of tissue in someone else's uterus. But it would be obnoxiously irresponsible of her to keep it... and of anyone who encourages her to.

Not that I would judge her I would just pity her

[HookingSwan]

I am not saying that it would be easy. But for some reason she might want to raise the kid.

Anyways, agreeing to disagree here.

[Asker]

@HookingSwan if the baby is mine I'd take care of him or her. But the rumor is that I am not the only guy she has cheated with. I definitely don't want to be with her.

[Asker]

I asked her to get a DNA test before I do anything drastic.

[HookingSwan]

I think that is a wise move, @asker

Sorry for jumping the gun on your situation

[Asker]

@HookingSwan it's ok I deserve it because I had sex with a married woman. It was wrong.

[HookingSwan]

we all make mistakes. What matters is if you repent and learn from them
@asker

I dont have the right to judge you harshly. Not you and not anyone.

[Asker]

@HookingSwan all good. In a few days, I should know if I'm the father.

[Joc4Position]

@HookingSwan Aborting or not aborting should be up to both the mother and father. Not just the mother... in my view anyway.

[HookingSwan]

@Joc4Position I don't know what to say about that. its a complicated situation, indeed.

[Asker]

@HookingSwan @Joc4Position if I'm the father then we'll decide that. I'll know Monday.

[HookingSwan]

Good luck

[Asker]

@HookingSwan and an update. I'm not the father.

[HookingSwan]

lucky

be more careful nex time :P

[Joc4Position]

Asker: Use protection from now on bruh.

Hey look who left.

[Asker]

@Joc4Position I dodged a huge bullet. I'll wrap it up from here on out.

[Becky01]

first thing are you looking to have a relationship with this woman
look you need to find out if the child is yours and step up if it is that's on you for not using a condom. support her for leaving the bad relationship as a friend she will need this.

[TaureanBull81]

Our age groups tend not to use condoms that much especially the 30s and 40s age group. I'm guessing his married coworker is older.

[Anonymous]

A big fat mess... thats what youve gotten urself into. If she leaves her husband and keeps the baby you should support her and maybe start a relationship with her and see where it goes. You made the choice to have sex with her and knew the possibility of getting her pregnant. There is always a possibility when having sex with any women. Bad decisions have consequences and the poor child shouldn't have to suffer without a dad because you couldnt keep it in your pants.

[Anonymous]

Be very careful, you don't know for sure that it's your baby.

[Asker]

That's what has me worked up. Who knows if I am the only she has slept with.

[Opinion Owner]

It could be her husband's.
People who cheat also lie.

[Asker]

I'm gonna ask her to get a DNA test. I have to make sure.

[Joc4Position]

Fool, why you no use protection?

[Asker]

Caught up in the moment and didn't think.

[Joc4Position]

Smh. Come on man. Well on the bright side I guess if it is your baby then she might as well divorce her husband. That would mean spending more time with you I guess... though it'll put her and the family in a lot of painful struggles. Divorces are always nasty.

[Asker]

Yeah, I really didn't think this through.

[Joc4Position]

Can't say I haven't done this before, but I didn't slip up like you. I used protection.

I guess you and her need to decide if you want to abort and keep everything a secret (retaining her marriage) or admit she's pregnant and probably go through the consequences that come with that (like divorce).

[CHARismatic110]

You reap what you sow my friend. You sowed your seed and now you'll have the fun of watching it grow for 9 months. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to abort the baby ! If she keep the baby to tie you up, threat her that you will hit her with a car. Never have a kid from a cheater, be crazy lol

[Opinion Owner]

Learn from you mr mistakes

[Asker]

She wants to leave her husband for me and I'm not on board with that. I will definitely learn from this.

[Opinion Owner]

U didn't try to tell her that you don't like her & you will never consider that kid ur baby? Just scare her! Be stright and tell her you don't trust her & you will never think about her

[Opinion Owner]

if I'm a man I'll never sleep around again so now it will worth it if I beat her or send help until she abort , sorry I don't want to have unwanted child from a slutty cheater LOL how funny she think it's easy to cheat

[GreatnessRevamped]

You embodied this quote:

"Fuck bein' on some chill shit
We go 0 to 100, nigga, real quick"

[Anonymous]

You've made your bed, now lie in it...

[Asker]

Yup. I am pretty much f**ked. No pun intended.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, yes you are.

[Joc4Position]

Literally !

[Anonymous]

Your ass is getting fired, bitch

[Asker]

Actually she quit today. My job position is safe and my boss gave me a hard talking too.

[DianeDuffus]

Childhood support until your baby hits 18

[Anonymous]

'Rescue' her. Make her your wife then...