This isn't cheating, this is flirting - which makes everyone feel good, just as yattaboy in sports or wow for a special dress. He likes you - as a penpal - as a backup - as a buddy when no one else is around. Sure, if you are in an emotional slump you might be drawn into this as something more but it's not ... and in time your thoughts & emotions will pass through this fantasy phase into penpal phase.
So for what it is, it's OK.
Major changes in both lives would have to take place before this has the opportunity to become more. All of his & your penpals & daily associates might then take on a different role & compete for affections. Even if these worlds turned upside down, there's no guarantee you have the inside track.
We all fall in love (aka temporary insanity) many times during our lives.
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The guy is in a ´normal´ relationship with his wife...what the hell are you doing? back off...you both have kids...geez, people these days...
You may not be in the best marriage, but I mean you have family and so does he. I would say if you love him and have gotten as far as saying you guys would have sex if you weren't married, then that is a red flag for both of you. It means insecurity in your marriage and so what would happen if you ended up getting together? Just be careful and don't continue to get closer with him unless something just happens to take place that ends the marriages.. But be careful!
I think its really just emotional cheating. I wouldn't count
on him leaving his wife though. Talk to him about it, about this
relationship, about his feelings. Communication.
Plus think about your kids, and his kids. Because anything that
happens is not just about you two anymore.
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