I'm a gay man and I'm being forced by inlaws to dress as a woman for the wedding, should I go through this?

[mainguyen2837]

I'm a gay vietnamese man and I've been requested by my inlaws that I have to dress as a woman if I want to marry my fiancé. He is from a high class chinese family and his parents are living in shanghai, china. We've met during my years at UCLA when I was studying psychology. We started dating secretly for years and it wasn't until recently that he proposed to me and asked if I could go meet his mom. So We've flew over there to meet her and she agreed and approved of us to get married but under the condition that I were to dress as their bride. I do drag sometimes on my free time for a couple of years so I know passing wouldn't be an issue and so I showed her a pic of me in drag from the past Halloween and she liked it. She took me out shopping for wedding stuff and stopped at an chinese qipao dress tailor who got my measurements and an custom made traditional chinese qipao dress is being made for me for the wedding. Qipao is the traditional chinese dress that chinese brides wear on the wedding day. I also have to wear heels too. An makeup artist is applying my makeup and an hairstylist is putting a wig on me and extensions and styling it. They want me to do this so much that they are paying for the whole wedding and he and I aren't even paying a dime. The wedding will be during the Thanksgiving weekend next month and I'm starting to have so many doubts. I don't know if I should do this but I deeply do love him so it's making it so complicated. Part of me wants to do this and the other is not as I'm not transgendered. What should I do? Should I do this or should I not? I've included pictures below to give you a better understanding of what they want me to dress like. Please help me.

[Rainbow_Boy]

I'd say give it a try, you may find something new about yourself. It's not like you are a conventional man anyway, so if you don't consider their request out-of-line (it doesn't sound so), then this may be a one-in-a-lifetime experience for you. There are many biological men (including myself) who would love to be in your position, so that may be a great opportunity to see your feminine side. Good luck!

[whitehide]

What's the point in doing that? Are they trying to hide the fact that you're a man? If that's the case, then you better get comfortable with being a woman everytime you're visiting your fiancé's family. Or you could show yourself for who you really are. Some people might get butthurt over it, but isn't it better to get it over with sooner rather than later?

[itsmeamy]

Have 2 weddings one for your mom so she will be ok in china you know better than i do how tradition is a big part of life and if you both dressed in mens clothes how hard it would end up being for her then have a frends wedding here where you can dress how you want i wish the world was more understanding but you and me know is not i wish i had a better answer for you i wish you all the luck and love

[nerms123]

Depends on how your fiancé feels about it. I personally think it’s fine but it’s up to you. You can look at it as a cultural thing or experience but it sounds more like wedding nerves rather than about wearing drag. It’s unfortunate that they aren’t ok with you dressing as a man but that’s the current reality I guess.

[Randomawkwardness]

Well, are you comfortable with it? I understand the stigma there is around lgbt in China still and so her not wanting two men up there does make sense but it isn't her choice. It's yours and his day and it needs to be something you decide

[mainguyen2837]

Well I am comfortable sort of, I do like the dress that they are making for me, its so beautiful and I've always wanted to wear one of those qipao dresses but never could find any to buy.

[Randomawkwardness]

Then do it, it is your wedding and definitely a time to try out something you've always wanted. Good luck and have fun :)

[Insomnia72]

You shouldn't go through the wedding dressing up as a woman if you don't want to, even though you're okay dressing in drag, but that's nothing to do with a wedding. Seems crazy your inlaws want to pass off the wedding with that illusion. Yet if they're going to pay for it, then my suggestion is to just elope. Don't cave into their terms. Decades ago, racist Americans wouldn't pay for a wedding if their white daughter was marrying a latin or black man, so the couple eloped.

[Sevenpointfive]

to play the part is not a hard thing to do for someone you love. it's only one day. why do they think you are transgender?

[mainguyen2837]

They don't think that I'm transgendered. They want me to do this as they are well known in their community in shanghai and doesn't want people to know that my fiancé is gay. I'm having to dress as a woman the whole time that i will be over there next month leading up until the wedding. We're going over there early to get things prepared for the wedding. They've even come up with a name for me to go by and that is "nina". My fiancé has to call me "nina" when we are over there.

[Sevenpointfive]

i mean if that's how they cope for one day you should do it. it's not like you have to do it after that day. but it's like you're playing that part when you do cross dress, so it should be freeing in a way?

[MissDawn7961]

ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! that is what you get for being gay you homo you ! male and female created he him ( God ) male and female created he ( God ) them

[KatherineJ]

I guess it depends on you. Are you planning to assume the standard wifey role?

[Creepazoid]

Just be pretend to be a woman. I'm sure it's nothing new for you

[Golden_nuts]

I think it's against the gayship.

[tara987]

Do it!!