Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
My fiance wants an open bar at the wedding, but I don't want alcohol at all. What should we do? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(30-35) 
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
49Opinion
I would have an open bar but not serve alcohol. People love mocktails, they are fun and delicious! There are so many fake alcoholic drinks you can have. I'm sure people will understand if you are adamant on no alcohol!
His dad called those pussy drinks so that should tell you something about who I’m dealing with. I actually don’t think my fiancé minds a cash bar. He is thinking more of what his family wants. But behind my sister, my family in general does not drink in excess to have fun. We usually have one or two. His family could smash a leg in an hour of you let them.
Yeah, but it's your wedding, not your fiance's dad. You should do what you want, regardless. It's not a bad idea to have champagne with dinner. Or if you want to make a compromise you could have a few hours where the bar is open and a few hours where it's not. That will stop people from drinking too much
Dont have a wedding. Alcohol should be there. Don't change stuff because someone quit drinking.
Temptations are every where. Got to face and not hide from them.
This is coming from a former drinker, smoker and drug user.
I go to functions with booze cigarettes and dope still. Because I learned to cope and live without them.
If they are going to fall off the wagon. They will do it with or without you.
So have the damn booze or don't get married.
You are being unreasonable. You want to impose on the entire wedding just because your sister cannot control herself? It is a wedding, you have to serve alcohol.
Which is why I proposed a cash bar (which was actually her idea). You also do not have to serve alcohol. Thanks for reading.
Any etiquette book of any stature will tell you alcohol is mandatory at a wedding.
I've been to plenty that didn't have it. Only an alcoholic says something like that.
Then you have been to some pretty poor weddings. I have had a grand total of 2 drinks in my life, and I still say alcohol is mandatory at a wedding.
They were a lot fun, and no one missed the alcohol because we aren't alcoholics lol
A wedding is about more than having fun, it is a social event. And the guests could not have been very distinguished or they would have quickly picked up on the lack of alcohol.
Fine restaurants serve alcohol, McDonald's does not. I rest my case.
What case? lol, you don't have one because it's not your wedding. You act like you're going or something lol
If your sister is that long sober its very unlikely she'll drink alcohol. To not have alcohol at all is unfair on the other guests. I do think an open bar if your family is paying is not fair. What some people do is limit how many drinks are available in the open bar before it becomes a cash bar. Maybe that might work for you.
Make it a limited cash bar. Beer, wine, maybe one or two types of liquor.
That way you guys meet each other in the middle. It’s not no alcohol, but very minimal.
I didn’t think you Could do something like that. That’s actually a great idea. Thank you!
Weddings are about having fun and they should be about you and your husband. It's not your sister's wedding and everytime she goes out to eat or pretty much anywhere she is around alcohol. It should be about y'all
Well tell him you put your foot down they can go drink somewhere else they are not going to ruin my wedding day.
Its not fair for my family and I dont want people drunk.
Its our special day not theirs.
Why not make it the day of the wedding an alcohol free event and the next day your future husband can have his open bar and then your sister don't need be there. Your family and his family will be happy I think. The day of wedding a cash bar the day of the wedding to whom ever wana drink an open bar the next day or weekend
I think your fiancée needs to respect your wishes to not have an open bar. I have family that are recovering alcoholics and addicts and it is very hard for them to resist alcohol no matter how long it has been since the stopped. Rather than have an open bar, maybe he can have something else he wants at the wedding. I think that is a fair compromise considering the gravity of the situation.
Asking for it to be a cash bar is completely reasonable, if he isn't willing to compromise and meet you in the middle on that then he is being an asshole.
Why are you getting married to the guy if you are that incompatible?
What makes you think we're incompatible? We aren't arguing or anything. I just wanted to know if there were other options. He and I aren't big 'wedding' people so we don't actually know all of our options.
You have told him that you have a legitimate medical/psychological reason to not have large quantities of alcohol there if any. He decided to not care what you have to say on the matter and just wants to have a lot of the shit anyways… how is that not a significant incompatibility?
It's not that he doesn't care. He does. I never said he didn't. But he wants to celebrate the way his family does, too. I don't want to be that bride who is all 'it's my wedding and my way' so I want him to have a say. I'm looking for other suggestions outside of a cash bar since he doesn't seem so keen on that idea. He said he'd look up some ideas, too, as to what we can do.
Sure, but you have a legitimate reason to limit the amount of booze there. His only reason is that his family likes to get drunk. I’m not really the marriage type but I have been to a fair few weddings. And was a bridesmaid just a few months ago. One thing that matters more than anything is that if the bride or groom are having a bad day, it’s going to be a shitty day for everyone.
Yeah. My sister told me not to worry about her, but I'm more worried about his family, anyway. I come from a family that doesn't need alcohol to have fun. His has it with every celebration, and since I don't know them all that well, I don't want to take any chances.
I come from a family of alcoholics, even struggled with the shit myself for a while. Having seen what it can do to people I actively avoid people who drink it as best as I can. And of course your sister is going to say not to worry about her, she wants to make sure the day is all about you and shit. But here is the secret. If your sister is having a shitty time, or if his family are a bunch of drunks you are going to have a shitty wedding.
It's not fair of you to not want booze there only for your sister. Your sister is one person. You're presumably inviting dozens of people. You're the one not being reasonable.
A cash bar seems like a reasonable compromise. If you can't make compromises now, it will not get any easier when you are married.
Who is paying for the majority of the wedding expenses? Whoever is should be the one who has the final say.
I've never been to a wedding with no open bar. Heck it's one of those times I like to let loose. Drink, eat and dance. When there no alcohol, it can get dull. And who feels like paying so much and not getting and party favors. :P
If he is paying for it, then you and your sister should work on an out for her. As a recovering alcoholic, I can sympathize with her.
If your family paying for it, then it is your choice.
He’s not. My family is very traditional so my parents are paying for the wedding as the family of the bride usually does.
The answer is no. Therefore, it is venue regular bar.
Lol, you just said that if my family is paying for it in then it’s my choice. You don’t make any sense.
I meant the wedding and reception. Since this is the case, the decision for no open bar is yours. This is my 2 cents.
Options are
2 events (one for each side of the family so one dry and one open bar)
Or
No sister at the single event
I understand where you're coming from, but I also dont think the whole day should be changed because of your sister. I think he and his parents should pay for the open bar if that's what they want.
compromise with a beer and wine bar with a 2-drink limit (give out tickets). It would be much harder for anyone to get shit-faced and ruin your day.
Compromise, just have your sister be at a "non-alcoholic," gathering and show her video clips of your wedding and reception.