I see why a lot of people aren't all for marriage anymore. I’m torn. Honestly my main reason to marry (outside of loving that person, being in love with that person, and wanting to commit to only that person) was the fact that i didn't want to have sex before marriage. After that fckup, my next reason was that I didn't want to sexually conceive with someone outside of marriage. I’m not saying i’d marry for the sex and kids but i wanted to be married before having had sex or kids with them. Now a day, i realize... If i decide to actually go through with something like a sperm donor, in vitro, surrogacy, or basically something that doesn't consist of conceiving outside of marriage, then I probably wouldn't marry. Sounds bad but I’ve come to that realization. Marrying at a courthouse would disappoint me. If i marry, i want a nice outdoorsy wedding. But see, if it wasn't for me wanting the wedding decor and conception after marriage, I probably wouldn't marry. And if i did, A PRENUP would be involved no matter how rich/broke either of us is at the time. I’d be more than happy just dating the same guy forever because i love him and want to commit to only him. However, not many guys would want to marry a single mom and also not many guys would want to date someone forever if they can't live with them. Yea thats right, if i dont marry the guy, we’re living separately... period. I dont wanna shack up. Then i remember that even if we dont live together, I’d like us to be having sex. But i dont like the thought of having sex again while unmarried. I don't know. I realize my way of thinking is out of sorts. I didn't even realize i thought this way until this moment honestly.