In your personal opinion, what are “the right reasons” to marry someone?

Question

I see why a lot of people aren't all for marriage anymore. I’m torn. Honestly my main reason to marry (outside of loving that person, being in love with that person, and wanting to commit to only that person) was the fact that i didn't want to have sex before marriage. After that fckup, my next reason was that I didn't want to sexually conceive with someone outside of marriage. I’m not saying i’d marry for the sex and kids but i wanted to be married before having had sex or kids with them. Now a day, i realize... If i decide to actually go through with something like a sperm donor, in vitro, surrogacy, or basically something that doesn't consist of conceiving outside of marriage, then I probably wouldn't marry. Sounds bad but I’ve come to that realization. Marrying at a courthouse would disappoint me. If i marry, i want a nice outdoorsy wedding. But see, if it wasn't for me wanting the wedding decor and conception after marriage, I probably wouldn't marry. And if i did, A PRENUP would be involved no matter how rich/broke either of us is at the time. I’d be more than happy just dating the same guy forever because i love him and want to commit to only him. However, not many guys would want to marry a single mom and also not many guys would want to date someone forever if they can't live with them. Yea thats right, if i dont marry the guy, we’re living separately... period. I dont wanna shack up. Then i remember that even if we dont live together, I’d like us to be having sex. But i dont like the thought of having sex again while unmarried. I don't know. I realize my way of thinking is out of sorts. I didn't even realize i thought this way until this moment honestly.  
 #FeelFreeToList #MarryFortheRightReason

Phoenix98 · Accepted Answer

1# Genuine love

2# To commit yourself to each other in the highest way possible, because for us Christians anyway when we ask someone marry to us it's not just a promise of commitment to our partner but a promise to God to stay committed and loyal to them via marriage to spend the rest of our lives with that person to be loyal, understanding. And love them as we love him.

#3 My own personal and religious reasons.

4# Chemistry and compatibility when you find that person who feels like your other half. That person where everything even the hard stuff is easy with them, where you have understanding, commitment, communication. If you find someone like that you should cherish them and not let them go, people like that are a rare find even at the best of times.

5# Mutual goals as far as marriage and family are concerned.

6# To each other you feel like their the one.

Those are my standards and right reasons one must reach.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

To love & be loved, to have the freedom to trust that you have someone who'll check you when you're wrong, calm you when you're reasonably boiling over and when unreasonable capable of showing & correcting you, without judgment but understanding, to give yourself away to someone who won't betray you for doing so, to have someone to contain your flaws, to have a set of eyes that see the things you don't, to have someone competent & mature enough to do so in your corner, who you in turn are prepared to do the same for.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think your motive should be love and children and not to be cared for with money or friendship because I know many people who married money makers and then their rich partner loses his income - my friends father in law had cancer for 13 years and his wife was forced to support 4-6 people on a single pay cheque she had gotten married years ago thinking her husband would provide for her and protect her, after he died, she refused to marry and have her life challenged a second time. I also know people who married rich men than got dumped and people who only saved their marriage by having money with the constant pressure of knowing they will be divorced if their salary or body or social performance dips.

serious · Answer

Yes, in my opinion the right reasons for getting married are:

1. If you believe in marriage, the concept of marriage and the fact that it gives you happiness being with that one special person for life.

2. If you believe in monogamy and that you will stay loyal, devoted to the one you married for life.

3. If you are a person who likes taking responsibilities in life, if you think you can take the responsibility of a married life, children and you can do it willingly and happily then it would be a good reason for marriage.

4. If you can see a long and bright future before marrying the special person.

5. If you love, admire and respect the person you are going to marry. Yes this is important because love is only complete if it is combined with respect and admiration. Love without respect or admiration will be short lived and will fade away with time.

6. Another important point is related to the sexual orientation of the two people who are thinking of marriage. Now both should have normal sexual desires, sexual attraction towards one another OR both of them should be ASEXUAL. If both are asexual then they need to be absolutely clear that they never want children and will be with one another out of pure love, affection. Whatever intimacy will be there it will be purely NON-SEXUAL.

It cannot happen that one of the have normal sexual desires and the other is ASEXUAL. No, if this happens then the relationship will surely end at some point in future.

These according to me are some good reasons for marriage. According to me any other reasons apart from what I mentioned would be wrong reasons to get married.

Hope the answer was clear?

Aethereal · Answer

I'm very idealistic. For me, the right reason is absolute commitment. When I get married, I will be declaring to my partner (and the world) that she is the only one for me, forever. To me, marriage entails that I can never be with anyone ever again, no matter what (even if my wife passed away soon after, or the marriage failed). Therefore, not getting married is like saying I am not yet ready to be fully committed to the person, either because we haven't yet known enough about each other, or we just aren't compatible enough to risk taking that step.

However, I have read of more practical reasons offered by someone before (on another site) that you might be interested in; getting married automatically makes each of you the other's closest next-of-kin, as well as triggers inheritance rights or rights under the FMLA. It also apparently allows you to legally share a health insurance plan that could be a life-saver. I'm not American, but this person (who is) basically implied that getting married allows one to job-hop without losing health insurance and access to medical care.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

"loving that person, being in love with that person, and wanting to commit to only that person"
This is the only valid reason to get married, also the only valid reason to have sex with them.

You shouldn't marry someone unless you know the sex is enjoyable, and you shouldn't have sex unless in love.
If you are having sex, you should live together for practicality purposes.

Prenups should be a thing no matter what in any marriage, not because you don't trust eachother, but because its a promise to give eachother the gift of being worry free.

If the reason you want sex or marriage is just to have kids, then skip all 3, kids deserve having 2 parents, and guys deserve love (not to be used like sperm banks or sex toys).

I will never understand a woman's obsession with fancy weddings, just seems like a waste of money, plus parties are boring and dresses are ugly.

Plus relationships are personal/private, I don't want my family and friends around on my wedding day, I'd rather get hitched and spend the day with just my wife, like basically have the whole thing be the honeymoon part.

Citizenkirk · Answer

I can give you better reasons why people should take thier time making a determination to get engaged, and follow through with marriage.
Long courtships can give a better idea of the practicality of a lifelong commitment, by living together long term and discovering what the comfort zone of each of you will tolerate in each other's daily routine, and what adjustments each of you are willing, and capable, of making, too accommodate each other in a shared living environment.
A long engagement, with lots of interaction with friends who have children, will give the both of you a bird's eye view of what married life with children is like, and witness first hand things that do, and do not work, at resolving day to day disputes and other family related issues.
Talking with your parents, aunt's and uncles, cousins, and siblings, about their experiences in dating and married life, can also provide perspectives on what it's like to deal with different situations in an intimate relationship, where hindsight provided wisdom not available before the fact.
Also, people change as they mature and grow, and seeing these changes first hand over an extended period of time can provide a baseline for what too expect, and what may be expected of you, in a lifelong commitment of marital bliss.
Bear in mind, that the most rewarding experiences in married life with children, are often symbiotic with the most trying and most challenging of experiences.

The_Maphio · Answer

I'd say "true love", but I'm not either that romantic nor illogical, as those magic words lack any kind of informative content.
Marriage is not a must anymore, as the progressed world grew more and more laic, even to a excess.
Still, the basics of a relationship must be in place. Absolute trust and respect for the other.
If you respect somebody, you'd never do them dirty, and if the same goes for them, you can indeed trust them.
Desire is also something that must be there in a couple looking for a life long relationship, for sexual desire is a strong adhesive, just as well.
So I'd say respect, trust and sex drive.

90sVibe · Answer

This question really boils down to what an individual considers marriage is. To some its a traditional action to take with someone who they believe will give them economic stability, love/romance, or happiness. It's really all centered on the individual's values and beliefs. To some religious people it's so that they can fulfill their god's commands and wishes to repopulate the earth, while to others it's for legal reasons and financial gain. Everyone's value system is unique therefore everyone's reasoning is a case by case basis because of the time we live in (and depending on your culture).

DaveToo · Answer

If you only consider the sex and living together, I'd go along with you. However, living together has its challenges, and you must be ready to commit yourself to that kind of relationship. With in-vitro, anyone can have children. In the year 2525, if man is still alive, you'll choose your children at the bottom of a long black tube, or as the song goes. There are financial considerations to marriage. Income taxes, head of household, children discounts on your taxes. Raising a child or two on your own with one income can be straining, unless you are independently wealthy.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

1. They are responsible with money.
2. They're willing to communicate whether it's a bad time or not. They're willing to make an effort to let you know something that you need to be aware of.
3. They make commitments for themselves and can keep their word or be honest with you no matter what.
4. You pretty much want someone that's not exactly a reflection of you but someone that will compliment you.
5. They have a positive circle of Friends or they have a very good relationship with their parents.
6. She's feminine or has a variety of strong feminine traits.

That's just some I can only think of.

lucas262 · Answer

A short question with a long winded answer.

Love? What even is it? Lust and infatuation mixed?

In today's market you roll the dice you got 50/50 it ends in divorce. 80% of cases are filed by women and fathers keep rhe kids 10% of the time. Maybe another 15% stay together for rhe kids or other reasons. So safe to say 35% of marriages are happy.

I'll tell you 1 thing I ever Marry I'm not signing a damn thing, it's me her and a preacher and nothing on paper. Know why? Because I'm smarter than most men and took the red pill and ik it's a raw deal to give anyone that kind of power in your life.

REALSTEEL · Answer

i waa told this but im still waiting for it i was told that when someone truly deeply passionately loves that person they will do absolutely anything and everything for that person like a child who wants there favorite candy and can never get enough of it and the other person feels the same way love is a word sp strong so pwerful its sad when people say they love you but NEVER PUTS ACTION TO THE WORDS im 44 my time is running out and i guess it was never gods purpose for to settle down have kids enjoy my family

Anonymous · Answer

1. Love them

2. you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. A lot of people don't think about this. Can you see yourself with this person for the next 50 years?

3. For kids raised in a 2 parent household that show commitment to each other. Kids raised in the aame house are usually better than co-parents or singles parents.

4. Fincaces are better. Taxes living expense become cheaper and time and raise kids to become cheaper.

5. Sex who doesn't wanna go home and gave sex with their husband or wife. And sex is better when it's with somebody you know cares for you.

I'm raised on Disney channel values IDC I know that type of woman exists not everybody is a bunch of Groupies and greedy whores.

I'm a good person and I would hope their are good woman

Yes, I understand prenup for your money.
But if you have kids with them regardless she/He taking 40% of your money for 18 years. Plus spousal support.

Ellie-V · Answer

To me it sounds like you were really caught up in the idea of getting married and you’re just now breaking through the cultural blinders. If you feel like marriage will benefit you the most then go for it. But it is your life and live with the consequences either way.

kkirk4442 · Answer

The right reasons to marry, are that you love each other, are compatible, want to spend the rest of your lives together, are able to manage a home both emotionally and financially, know in your heart that marrying the person is the right thing to do, willing to commit to a life long relationship, and commit to that publicly and legally.

Jjpayne · Answer

You love and desire each other. you know each others strengths and weaknesses. You share connected passions and interests. And most importantly you are grateful for each other. Knowing humility in a marriage is so important and for it to work both should be humble

suisuiola · Answer

Someone who you know you can be financially stable with, someone you know you won't stop loving even though you don't do couples thing, someone who you know you communicate well with and are able to plan out a good future for each other.

Things like venue, how you get married and where shouldn't really matter in the end especially when you've found that person.

I feel like this didn't make any sense at all.

rc321 · Answer

While true marriage is not as sacred anymore,. marriage that works take understanding on both people... at any one point if one person do not see eye to eye it won't work out. We get together as couples for many reasons now depending if it's sexual, emotional, physical or even our difference... it's that attraction that keeps you together. What makes you stay together is the idea of if those same attractions can last through the years.

whatdoyouwantt · Answer

If you really feel this is the right thing to do in your heart, then you should listen to it. I decided I might never get married as people are so bad this days, you never know when they’ll let you down or hurt you. So for me personally it’s better to not get married as I can leave at any time without complications but of course I wish to find someone good someday and to get married, I am just not sure if that will happen. After my last relationship I kinda lost all hope. It was very toxic..

WesBrewer · Answer

I would marry a girl if I want to, or because she had sex with me. If I would date her I would want to marry her as well. Marriage to me is a “contract” that means you will never divorce and you guys will stay together through thick and thin. My biggest reason for wanting marriage so much is because I want to be with someone forever, as in, I want to have someone as close and closer than a friend and always have them by my side, and a wife fits the bill the best.

Dragonpurple · Answer

Right reasons to marry is you love each other and you will work together. Marriage is a legal contract. Some people say love has nothing to do with it, just how well you work together.

I personally would never live with my girlfriend, we'd have to get married. That said I have had friends I could be roommates with so long as we aren't involved romantically or sexually.

In your personal opinion, what are “the right reasons” to marry someone?

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