Have you given up on wanting to get married?

Question

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

Given up isn't the word. I've just radically shifted my fees on marriage from when I was younger. If I wanted to I could have been married to two or three different girls so far who were quality partners and likely would be good mothers.

Most of my exes ended up marrying the guy they dated after me, for better or worse lol. Some divorced but regardless you get the point. My view on marriage now more so is that it's actually better not to get married.

Because the marriage is not the relationship. I care about the relationship and making sure it's really good. I care about things that will make the relationship stronger and better in a real way while avoiding things that can hurt the relationship.

Marriage cannot help the relationship, but it can run the risk of putting undo pressure on the relationship that didn't exist beforehand and potentially ruining the relationship you had before marriage.

In my mind, if you want a good relationship. Start having a good relationship now. You don't need marriage and it can honestly make it worse for a variety of reasons. From misguided expectations, general views on how you're "supposed" to act after being married, or how the relationship should look now that you're married.

It's kind of like how a guy has the Madonna whore complex in his mind and how a lot of girls have the "I'm a mom now so I must be a Saint that doesn't show I want sex" in their head.

There are similar things within a marriage of how you're supposed to act as a husband or a wife when fundamentally nothing has changed and their views of both partners may vary. So you're going into untested, new Territory, that neither of you have experience with while also coming with a heavy penalty if you don't work it out...

Yea I just won't marry lol. I'll have kids and build a family/life together. But to me there's really no value in a marriage outside of appeasing other people which is shitty reason to make any choice let alone a massive lift altering decision.

Bobsyoruncle · Accepted Answer

I’m married now, so I’m not ‘in the market’ for a wife. But, at our ages that state of affairs can change, literally in a heartbeat.

In the last decade both my wife and I have dodged bullets, a heart attack for me and cancer for her. If I lost my wife I’d miss her, and I’m not certain that I’d marry again, but I wouldn’t rule it out either.

Probably the biggest obstacle for me would be to find a woman who is capable of enjoying her sexuality in a relaxed and natural way. I’ve lived long enough to know that a sexually frustrated or deprived woman is pure hell to live with.

“Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

I also know that a healthy woman in her 50’s~60’s can easily keep up with the sex drive of a horny 18 year old male.

I can still play, but I doubt that I can keep up with *that*.

I would have absolutely no interest in chasing other women, but neither would I have any interest whatsoever in marrying a woman who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) occasionally treat herself to a roll in the hay with another man.

I’ve been married twice in my life, the first time briefly to my high school sweetheart and the second time for some 40 years to my current wife. Neither of them restricted their sexual favors solely to me and in neither case was I the least bit put out by their behavior. Far from it, in fact.

‘Love’ isn’t ‘Sex’, although the two sometimes intersect a *bit*. I would never waste the time or impose on the emotional well-being of a woman who couldn’t keep THOSE two things WELL separated most of the time.

I imagine that this would be a deal killer frequently enough to reduce the odds of finding someone, so...

Youryeodongsaeng · Accepted Answer

I may still be too young to even consider getting married, but sometimes, marriage just seems way too much.

Yes I want to get married, but I also don't want to.
I want to settle down, but I also want to be free of everything.
I'm not ready for a marriage, but the thought of being a baby mama to a guy who isn't even interested in getting married or being in a commited relationship, I'm absolutely fine with that. I always have that thought of me just being a single mother and the father just being a single father. Now, I'm up for that.
I'm not trying to be toxic, but the thought of being a baby mama to a guy who has a girlfriend just unsettles me. I am too paranoid for that. Like... What if the couple file a lawsuit against me because they want full custody of me and the father's child?
If that ever happens, I'm going on crazy mode and it's going: "If I can't have my baby, then you'll never see them again." Then I'm offing myself because I just commited one of the most brutal crimes that I'll never forgive myself for.
If this doesn't happen at all, I'm willing to be a corporative baby mama.
Just imagine the matching outfits! It'll be so cute!😊

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I've never wanted to get married, so you can't give up on what you've never wanted right? Haha.

Marriage is overrated. Personally I'd be content finding a long term relationship and partner to commit to... that's just as good, if not better!

Now ask me have I given up on trying to find a relationship and dating 😑

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I mean it's a never say never mind of thing, but it's definitely not a priority in my life atm

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don’t know if I will find Mr. Right but as long as I am alive I will try to find him. I just prefer being single to being in an unhappy relationship so I’m not in a hurry.

Taylah9 · Answer

No I haven't given up on wanting to get married, however I do think it isn't essential and that I'm quite fine without it. If it happens one day with the right person then awesome but if not I'm not less of a person or incomplete because of it. I've known people who have met their soulmates and husbands/wives when they were in their 40s and 50s after already being married previously. So there is no time limit and I'd rather be married to the right person rather than just getting married just because its perceived as normal.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I'm married. It was always a priority for me. I also met my husband in middle school and knew we'd get married about 45 minutes into our first date lol so... I have a unique perspective one this topic.

Anonymous · Answer

I have always wanted to get married. I see myself as a person who could split my time between my partner and work, since I don’t want children. I will be honest recently I have reconsidered getting married. (The career I’m going into I should be a millionaire by retirement) with this information I am even more hesitant to choose a partner. Even with a prenup this person has access to Your money. I have considered living together or possibly “getting married “ but not legally. Of course I have heard negative judgement from my religious parents who don’t approve of it.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

On WANTING to get married yes.

I do not WANT to get married.

now if the other person wanted to, then yes I would not put a stop to it, however I would want my thoughts taken in to account.

if my current relationship headed that way, then yes that conversation would take place.

mainly as I would want some from of present giving, ring or similar to signify the next step in the relationship.

The aim is to have a long term relationship not get married.

Scotte1us · Answer

Its your choice , but i can advice you i have seen a woman married for 7 years or more , fed up raising a child , fed up cleaning and cooking and going to work , she wanted her freedom so bad she could scream and she gets divorced then she is single and free party everyday and go to night clubs , and have a blast then sleeping with guys lots of sex and many friends for 4 years and more problems with boyfriends and friends then she is tired and fed up again , she wants to settle and get married again, you see how things on both sides , there is no perfect life its up to you which one you like to live.

meetkitty123 · Answer

Yup
I got married but it wasn't the marriage or wedding that I had envisioned or planned my plan wedding took a curveball and I ended up having to do a small private venue I still have my wedding things in the closet and honestly it's just never going to happen. First of all in the relationship I'm in I wouldn't want to renew my vows and second by the time I'm out of this relationship I don't see wedding plans in my future

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Have you given up on wanting to get married?

As for me I say you can’t give up on something you have never considered doing or thought about doing in the first place.

Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone.

KingofCups · Answer

Well I'd say I'm open to it but that it's unrealistic to believe it will last forever. As long as we establish that it will have an expiration date, and that people inevitability grow apart. I'd say it's best just to be in a few quality long term relationships in your life time, not necessarily marriages. But sometimes people need to marry for other reasons, such as to gain citizenship.

proNutro · Answer

Not at all but it’s so hard finding a good man.  Getting married and having kids is my most important goal. Difficult when every guy I come across doesn’t want that

Guardian45 · Answer

This a hot button to me. When I was younger I wanted to but some bad relationships including an Ex have turned me off of marriage. But I'm an optimist, so I guess I should look at the glass as half-full. Therefore MAYBE!

EmbraceThePain · Answer

1000% no.  I want to get married and raise a family. It’s my most important goal amongst every other goal in my life.

kc_4308 · Answer

Yeah , I don’t want marriage or a relationship at this point in time. So yes, dating is stressful and too much nowadays.

electromagnetic · Answer

I never believed in marriage to begin with then I got engaged then that didn’t work out so now I’m exactly where I start. 🤣

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I wound't say I've given up on it I'm just not going to turn my self inside out to try and and make it happen.

Vanella · Answer

I haven't given up, I just don't necessarily want to get married. It really depends on my future partner.

Whatthefluff · Answer

I don't want the actual legal binding or ceremony to be abrupt and unplanned. Other than that, nothing against it

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

If it happens than i'll let it happen but i lost hope and after my experience and at this age i feel that i have 0 energy to do anything related to marriage...

If someday i met a girl and she changed me and gave me power and hope again than yes i might get married and be happy about it because i'm someone who loves a real eternal marriage and to have a happy family...

Assi2k · Answer

Can’t dude. My soulmate would be all lonely or worse with the wrong kinda crazy chick😞

lovedejj_xo · Answer

If it happens it happens not really worried about it I know 2 people my age already divorced at 26 lol. People need to stop rushing…..

ohshee · Answer

I like the idea of marriage I haven't even been thinking about it but if I was I would never give up on it that's for sure there's not too many things I give up on

TurningGraves · Answer

I’ve more or less given up on having a marriage based on love, connection and attraction.

I might still marry for the mutual benefits and to simply have a family unit, since it’s kind of expected of me… and I hate to disappoint.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Only if im not married before age 30. Im getting more comfortable with the thought of just staying single and doing in vitro because i dont know if i want to share a home with a partner etc

TheFlak38 · Answer

I never wanted to do that anyway. No rational man makes this mistake today. It can only bite you in the ass.

SynthKobra · Answer

It’s pretty much non existent unless I have a reason too. Not getting married because society told me to, that would be stupid. I have other goals in mind. If the right one comes along I’ll consider it. Until then, happily single ;)

livin_hi_808 · Answer

No coach, I haven't. But doesn't everyone think of stupid things that seem nice in your head but actually stupid AF in reality? I'm not alone for sure lol

Mary087 · Answer

I haven't given up but im not in a hurry because too many marriages go down hill especially these days and dating and relationships isn't like what it was back then

Ninani · Answer

I've already been married. Wouldn't say I've given up, but it's not a priority in my life.

Alyssa11 · Answer

No but it just doesn’t excite me anymore because I just can’t seem to find love

ellyyyy · Answer

honestly, getting married is just like a plus for me, what would it bring me? literally nothing, just a pain in the ass. maybe its just not my main priority at the moment

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I used to want it really bad but as I’ve grown older I’ve become more realistic. Leaning toward staying a bachelor forever.. but if I met the right person I might change my mind.

jasco · Answer

I honestly don’t know. Marriage isn’t something that I care about or need to survive

Flower7 · Answer

Yes, this is not something I have an interest in. Though it's something I used to dream about a long time ago.

MCheetah · Answer

Yep. I don't believe good women (who are still single) exist anymore out there. All that's left are the feminists and lesbians.

BBFDancer · Answer

I want to get married but if my God doesn't want me to be married. I'll be upset but I'll be fine with it. :(

Anonymous · Answer

LONG AS TIME AGO  WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTES ITS ALL OVER THE INTERNET

Olalaa4 · Answer

No but there is no good men around of me so until the find him I'm given up

tatianamay · Answer

I've even picked out baby names  Of course, I do! Why wouldn't I?

Anonymous · Answer

I spent 6 years in a relationship begging him to marry me and so we finally got engaged and I was so happy. Then once I realized every time I tried to plan the wedding he hated everything I liked. Then led to the fight we’re he told me he felt pressured to propose… so now we’re broken up. It shouldn’t take 6 years to know if you want to marry someone. I want marriage, but I won’t ever pressure it. My rule now is if I know they want marriage I will give them 2-3 years to propose or I’m moving on.

JBlade · Answer

Gave up on the thought years ago, too much to lose.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Yeah, I wanted a family. Once I hit 30 I stopped looking.

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes. I got married so I've given up on wanting to do that.

CaliSixx · Answer

Yep. No one wants to trade my mom a pig to marry me

Citizenkirk · Answer

No, I have just giving up wanting to want. Let the 🎲🎲 fall where they will 🧠💨

Anonymous · Answer

I have before. Sometimes I’ll be okay with the thought of getting married or just the thought of being single and becoming the rich aunt of the family. Currently aiming towards rich aunt.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, but I also dont need the papers. I usually treat a girlfriend like we are already married.

Anonymous · Answer

Part of me wants to and part of me doesn't  The accountant in me likes those tax breaks but the sensible side of me is too cautious Probably be some nurse when I'm on my deathbed

invalid1 · Answer

Yes, and it's not my fault. I am a down to earth amazing guy, just outside of me decided that.

Jayplays900 · Answer

Marriage just seems like a liability to be honest. Rather just stay 'girlfriend and 'boyfriend' just incase we separate.

Anonymous · Answer

It's weird when I was younger I couldn't wait to get married and have kids. Now that I'm older, it really isn't my priority and I would rather invest in self care and be independent.

Justneedtokno · Answer

Yes and no. I’m starting to feel like a Pessimistic hopeless romantic

Hairylegs222 · Answer

No, but it's not a requirement from me. Love for each other is more important overall.

Shark_61695 · Answer

Nope, I still want to get married... I've given up on ever having a relationship though :)

MrJMM · Answer

Yep. Because to me getting married like that to make is just a big s the case to make people see how much money was spent. So... Yeah.

domenico07 · Answer

I’ve never wanted to get married because there have been a lot of divorces in my family. I’m petrified that I’ll het married then get divorced.

gag2021 · Answer

No, but I know it can take a long time to find the one you share mutual attraction to to be your soul mate.

msc545 · Answer

Yes. The way laws and courts are now, a man has to be a complete idiot to get married.

HighBoi · Answer

If I'm not absolutely obsessed in love with somebody I'm not doing it.

AdmiralSirJohn · Answer

I'm at an age where I still want to get married, but I've given up hope of it ever happening.

Have you given up on wanting to get married?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you given up on dating and marriage?

Have you given up on wanting to get married?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you given up on dating and marriage?

We're glad to see you liked this post.