Have you given up on wanting to get married?

Question

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

Given up isn't the word. I've just radically shifted my fees on marriage from when I was younger. If I wanted to I could have been married to two or three different girls so far who were quality partners and likely would be good mothers.

Most of my exes ended up marrying the guy they dated after me, for better or worse lol. Some divorced but regardless you get the point. My view on marriage now more so is that it's actually better not to get married.

Because the marriage is not the relationship. I care about the relationship and making sure it's really good. I care about things that will make the relationship stronger and better in a real way while avoiding things that can hurt the relationship.

Marriage cannot help the relationship, but it can run the risk of putting undo pressure on the relationship that didn't exist beforehand and potentially ruining the relationship you had before marriage.

In my mind, if you want a good relationship. Start having a good relationship now. You don't need marriage and it can honestly make it worse for a variety of reasons. From misguided expectations, general views on how you're "supposed" to act after being married, or how the relationship should look now that you're married.

It's kind of like how a guy has the Madonna whore complex in his mind and how a lot of girls have the "I'm a mom now so I must be a Saint that doesn't show I want sex" in their head.

There are similar things within a marriage of how you're supposed to act as a husband or a wife when fundamentally nothing has changed and their views of both partners may vary. So you're going into untested, new Territory, that neither of you have experience with while also coming with a heavy penalty if you don't work it out...

Yea I just won't marry lol. I'll have kids and build a family/life together. But to me there's really no value in a marriage outside of appeasing other people which is shitty reason to make any choice let alone a massive lift altering decision.

Bobsyoruncle · Accepted Answer

I’m married now, so I’m not ‘in the market’ for a wife. But, at our ages that state of affairs can change, literally in a heartbeat.

In the last decade both my wife and I have dodged bullets, a heart attack for me and cancer for her. If I lost my wife I’d miss her, and I’m not certain that I’d marry again, but I wouldn’t rule it out either.

Probably the biggest obstacle for me would be to find a woman who is capable of enjoying her sexuality in a relaxed and natural way. I’ve lived long enough to know that a sexually frustrated or deprived woman is pure hell to live with.

“Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

I also know that a healthy woman in her 50’s~60’s can easily keep up with the sex drive of a horny 18 year old male.

I can still play, but I doubt that I can keep up with *that*.

I would have absolutely no interest in chasing other women, but neither would I have any interest whatsoever in marrying a woman who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) occasionally treat herself to a roll in the hay with another man.

I’ve been married twice in my life, the first time briefly to my high school sweetheart and the second time for some 40 years to my current wife. Neither of them restricted their sexual favors solely to me and in neither case was I the least bit put out by their behavior. Far from it, in fact.

‘Love’ isn’t ‘Sex’, although the two sometimes intersect a *bit*. I would never waste the time or impose on the emotional well-being of a woman who couldn’t keep THOSE two things WELL separated most of the time.

I imagine that this would be a deal killer frequently enough to reduce the odds of finding someone, so...

Youryeodongsaeng · Accepted Answer

I may still be too young to even consider getting married, but sometimes, marriage just seems way too much.

Yes I want to get married, but I also don't want to.
I want to settle down, but I also want to be free of everything.
I'm not ready for a marriage, but the thought of being a baby mama to a guy who isn't even interested in getting married or being in a commited relationship, I'm absolutely fine with that. I always have that thought of me just being a single mother and the father just being a single father. Now, I'm up for that.
I'm not trying to be toxic, but the thought of being a baby mama to a guy who has a girlfriend just unsettles me. I am too paranoid for that. Like... What if the couple file a lawsuit against me because they want full custody of me and the father's child?
If that ever happens, I'm going on crazy mode and it's going: "If I can't have my baby, then you'll never see them again." Then I'm offing myself because I just commited one of the most brutal crimes that I'll never forgive myself for.
If this doesn't happen at all, I'm willing to be a corporative baby mama.
Just imagine the matching outfits! It'll be so cute!😊

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I've never wanted to get married, so you can't give up on what you've never wanted right? Haha.

Marriage is overrated. Personally I'd be content finding a long term relationship and partner to commit to... that's just as good, if not better!

Now ask me have I given up on trying to find a relationship and dating 😑

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I'm married. It was always a priority for me. I also met my husband in middle school and knew we'd get married about 45 minutes into our first date lol so... I have a unique perspective one this topic.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I mean it's a never say never mind of thing, but it's definitely not a priority in my life atm

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don’t know if I will find Mr. Right but as long as I am alive I will try to find him. I just prefer being single to being in an unhappy relationship so I’m not in a hurry.

Taylah9 · Answer

No I haven't given up on wanting to get married, however I do think it isn't essential and that I'm quite fine without it. If it happens one day with the right person then awesome but if not I'm not less of a person or incomplete because of it. I've known people who have met their soulmates and husbands/wives when they were in their 40s and 50s after already being married previously. So there is no time limit and I'd rather be married to the right person rather than just getting married just because its perceived as normal.

Anonymous · Answer

I have always wanted to get married. I see myself as a person who could split my time between my partner and work, since I don’t want children. I will be honest recently I have reconsidered getting married. (The career I’m going into I should be a millionaire by retirement) with this information I am even more hesitant to choose a partner. Even with a prenup this person has access to Your money. I have considered living together or possibly “getting married “ but not legally. Of course I have heard negative judgement from my religious parents who don’t approve of it.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

On WANTING to get married yes.

I do not WANT to get married.

now if the other person wanted to, then yes I would not put a stop to it, however I would want my thoughts taken in to account.

if my current relationship headed that way, then yes that conversation would take place.

mainly as I would want some from of present giving, ring or similar to signify the next step in the relationship.

The aim is to have a long term relationship not get married.

KingofCups · Answer

Well I'd say I'm open to it but that it's unrealistic to believe it will last forever. As long as we establish that it will have an expiration date, and that people inevitability grow apart. I'd say it's best just to be in a few quality long term relationships in your life time, not necessarily marriages. But sometimes people need to marry for other reasons, such as to gain citizenship.

Scotte1us · Answer

Its your choice , but i can advice you i have seen a woman married for 7 years or more , fed up raising a child , fed up cleaning and cooking and going to work , she wanted her freedom so bad she could scream and she gets divorced then she is single and free party everyday and go to night clubs , and have a blast then sleeping with guys lots of sex and many friends for 4 years and more problems with boyfriends and friends then she is tired and fed up again , she wants to settle and get married again, you see how things on both sides , there is no perfect life its up to you which one you like to live.

meetkitty123 · Answer

Yup
I got married but it wasn't the marriage or wedding that I had envisioned or planned my plan wedding took a curveball and I ended up having to do a small private venue I still have my wedding things in the closet and honestly it's just never going to happen. First of all in the relationship I'm in I wouldn't want to renew my vows and second by the time I'm out of this relationship I don't see wedding plans in my future

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Have you given up on wanting to get married?

As for me I say you can’t give up on something you have never considered doing or thought about doing in the first place.

Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone.

proNutro · Answer

Not at all but it’s so hard finding a good man.  Getting married and having kids is my most important goal. Difficult when every guy I come across doesn’t want that

Guardian45 · Answer

This a hot button to me. When I was younger I wanted to but some bad relationships including an Ex have turned me off of marriage. But I'm an optimist, so I guess I should look at the glass as half-full. Therefore MAYBE!

EmbraceThePain · Answer

1000% no.  I want to get married and raise a family. It’s my most important goal amongst every other goal in my life.

kc_4308 · Answer

Yeah , I don’t want marriage or a relationship at this point in time. So yes, dating is stressful and too much nowadays.

electromagnetic · Answer

I never believed in marriage to begin with then I got engaged then that didn’t work out so now I’m exactly where I start. 🤣

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I wound't say I've given up on it I'm just not going to turn my self inside out to try and and make it happen.

Vanella · Answer

I haven't given up, I just don't necessarily want to get married. It really depends on my future partner.

Whatthefluff · Answer

I don't want the actual legal binding or ceremony to be abrupt and unplanned. Other than that, nothing against it

Assi2k · Answer

Can’t dude. My soulmate would be all lonely or worse with the wrong kinda crazy chick😞

lovedejj_xo · Answer

If it happens it happens not really worried about it I know 2 people my age already divorced at 26 lol. People need to stop rushing…..

Have you given up on wanting to get married?

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