I always loved women. I had girlfriends from the time I was 16. I wasn't a player and never cheated. But I didn't want to get married or have a family. I didn't think I was mature enough to make a good husband or father, and I was too interested in enjoying life to get tied down with responsibilities. I didn't decide that I was ready until I was in my mid-30s. At that point, I started looking for a life partner to settle down with.
Since I really wasn't interested in having kids, a stay at home, June Cleaver wife wasn't important. In fact, I didn't want someone sitting home all day waiting for me. All my girlfriends except for the first one who was 15 and lived at home had jobs and supported themselves. The girlfriends I had in my 30s had good jobs or careers.
When I was 40, I finally met the lady that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We totally clicked. After a year of exclusive dating, I proposed and we got married a year later.
Both of us had enjoyed our lives prior to meeting, but neither of us had ever been married. She had a career as a high-end cosmetologist and was also a professional photographer. At one point, she had worked for an airline and got to travel. She's quite a go getter.
She enjoys her work, stays busy, and I'm happy to have the extra income. I used to make twice as much as her but, now that I'm retired, she contributes a little more than half of our income. We're very happy with our home in the country, keep our bills paid, and hopefully have enough assets and savings to enjoy the rest of our lives. We're a team.16 Reply- +1 y
Real men team up with other men. You wouldve been 10x more effective at making money.
- +1 y
@AddictofLove. I had a great job for 30 years and retired with a pension. Also, I wanted to marry a woman, not a bro. Yeah, I like women and heterosexual sex. And I LOVE my home with my wife, on 30 beautiful acres with a view.
I was never a member of the He Man Woman Hater's Club. Are you saying that "real men" are gay? - +1 y
Why do you need a wife to have sex
- +1 y
Why because your dick is small
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- +1 y
Yes, and stay at home. It's what I currently have. It means that I don't have to do anything but go to work and help raise the kids. She takes care of literally everything else. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, you name it. I do more work in an 8 hour span than she does, but her work day is much longer, so it comes out about even.
43 Reply- Asker+1 y
The stay at home wife lifestyle sounds lovely honestly
- +1 y
To answer your last question, I don't know what you mean by "no ambition to work." Being a home maker is a big job. A home maker might do less work per hour, but they will work many more hours (more than twice as many as I will, and for no additional income).
If you're just wanting to sit at home, and expect me to carry the burden of keeping house, too, then I would NOT be ok with that. - Asker+1 y
True. Ofc not
- Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
Being a housewife is NOT lazy. Those who say so have never done it themselves. Taking care of the home, running the house errands, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking the kids back and forth from school and extracurriculars, etc. Your workday never ends. You don’t get to clock out. It is not EASY and it’s even harder when both partners work.
If one person works while one focuses on the home then it becomes a partnership and both needs are met.
The narrative of housewives/stay at home moms as being lazy needs to end because it’s simply not true.50 Reply
Most men can't afford a housewife so it doesn't really matter if they'd want to or not...
And nowadays men don't need to marry to benefit from being with a woman as if they were married. Some are ambitious enough to see this as a problem with the society and try to overcome it but the system is unfortunately also set up against them...
To put it shortly - there's more traditional women than traditional men in the western world. You can find them but it's not easy.03 Reply- +1 y
Ridiculous.. but you're right women are expensive for no reason. Its not that men can't afford it's that they're wasting money so they shouldn't. ALWAYS talking down on men like we are mostly broke AND YET WE HEAR SHT ABOUT MONUMENTAL PAY GAPS FAVORING MEN.. can't make this sht up smdh fck it, death to all women 2022. Lets get it.
- +1 y
@Somaliansamson You don't seem to be in the right mind to be in any kind of relationship to be honest. Please sort out your head first before you engage a woman and waste her time with your bitterness.
- +1 y
"There's more traditional women..." tf?
What Girls & Guys Said
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71Opinion
I don't know if this is accurate or not, but normally the man Works while the woman cook, clean, shop, as a housewife should do. it also goes the same way with men the woman works the man Cooks, cleans, and shop. But in reality, the man would come home to his wife with dinner on the table and a smile waiting. but then again people aren't really ready for marriage. you really got to take the biggest step of your life to marry the person you are in love with and on top of that the marriage won't even works fully unless both partners are in sync with each other otherwise a divorce will happen eventually
10 Reply- +1 y
I would love to have her stay at home if I could afford it.
In fact that is my plan, if I get rich enough - lots of kids and no work for her.
It would not be a turn off in the slightest if she wanted that too.
The one problem might be that the modern nuclear family/suburban setup could be very lonely if she did stay at home.
These things were only invented in the 50s. Previously people were all over each other, figuratively speaking - spilling over into each others' houses, the whole extended family nearby, all the neighbours sewing and washing clothes and watching kids together etc. Laughing, singing, general community and camaraderie.
It is a very different question now.12 Reply- +1 y
I guess if I were super rich though, she would be able to go to brunch every day with her girlfriends or whatever. And shop and do stuff. Just trying to avoid the horror of her being trapped alone in a suburb, bored out of her mind... Read 'The Feminine Mystique' in case of interest, an early feminist book describing just that in the 1950s.
That book, and ones like it, are why we saw it as a moral good to push women into work.
And maybe for some they enjoy it. But for others I imagine they regret not having the choice. - +1 y
That being said... I wouldn't like to stay at home myself. I'd get bored out of my mind. Does that make me hypocrite haha?
Before my last ex I did. Now I do not. I still want to have a family and a happy relationship. In my personal opinion, marriage gets in the way of the relationship.
If you're there because you signed a paper when you felt differently years ago and not solely out of freedom and choice, because that's what you both most want. To me it is less pure
I'd rather be together for love23 Reply- Asker+1 y
The update wasn't about you
- Asker+1 y
"Men do you want marriage? If yes..." it was to men who want marriage
- +1 y
I want her to be what she feels more happy doing. If we have a family that needs to be taken care of and she is more fulfilled doing that, and I can pay all the bills then fine. But I know some women are capable of making more money than me, or just need to get out and socialize with people or have a purpose. I would never dream of getting in the way of what a woman wants.
50 Reply 1. Overwhelming majority of the miserable guys on here can't even get a girlfriend, don't even talk about marriage.
2. Most men cannot afford to raise children without their wives working jobs.54 Reply- +1 y
Haha she's fat everyone dont take it to heart. she's just hit that 30 wall and Chad ain't knocking her back out anymore if he ever did lmao. Funny she talks about miserable while embodying it when she speaks
- +1 y
@Somaliansamson
an 87 yr old man like you won't be able to even get a young pretty 30 yr old. you're just hating on 30 yr olds cuz you got rejected
Stay at home mom is preferable to me.
I want our kids to develop better than the ones in daycare (I've seen some very bad results). Having mom around to care is the better option.
And I want the opportunity to be ambitious in my work. I've read soo many books on productivity and preofessional development. I can't wait to outdo all my coworkers. If I have to split my attention/time about even between work and kids, that puts a limit on that. Plus, if I have the freedom to succeed there, it's way more money for the family. One stellar professional makes more than two average ones.
Beyond this, I'm just a competitive guy. If I can be a kind of family guardian, I'd love it. I essentially envision a structure where I tank all the challenges outside the home while my wife does what I'm bad at: deals with challenges within the home. I won't be able to progress achievements without her support.20 Reply- +1 y
I asked a question similar to this the other day, and basically the answer from everybody was a big NO
46 Reply- Asker+1 y
Wow. Younger guys?
- +1 y
Yep mainly younger guys. My question was “Do most younger guys hate the idea of marriage?” And the general answer was yes. Some older guys answered too, and they also didn’t like marriage.. quite sad really.
- Asker+1 y
I figured and it is crazy. They want women to "submit" and treat them like husband's but don't want to marry
- +1 y
You girls haven't been paying attention so I'll be gentle. YouTube mr moments or red pill mgtow and see what you expect men of all ages to risk a worthless bond for. Women are not the goal or even a side mission you're the despair and destroyer of all that is peace and love in a mans balance we dont want submission we want peace and the only way to do begin that is making you demons submit but you dont and cry about it and continue being undesirable in every way so.. fvk off basically.
- Asker+1 y
Mgtow... they never seem to go their own way. You don't get husband percs without being married you don't get submission without these worthless bonds
- +1 y
It doesn't matter to me. I make enough for her to stay home. But if she stays home she can't drive me nuts like my last wife.
I remember being in Milwaukee on extended very difficult project. We had to install an AS-400 and setup like 40 workstations.
My ex called me crying. . . claiming that our cat was pregnant.
Dude. . . .20 Reply Yes. And I don't know, it will depend on what will be working out for us - if she got enough saved money so we could put it together and buy a home, then her being a housewife would be manageable financially wise. If not then we should both work until we have our own place (since decent home costs about 30 yearly incomes) and then we could decide.
10 Reply- +1 y
In my country both are working by standard. It's expected of any normally functioning citizen to be able to support their own weight.
I would consider it a sign of immaturity if someone considered it otherwise.
But ofc I understand that growing up in another country where there are such norms it might not be so strange.10 Reply 509 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. I'm a stay at home mom. My hubby loves that I stay home and care for our babies. I honestly could never imagine working and it would be a waste of money and time considering anything I made would barely cover the daycare cost for 3 kids so working just isn't even a option for me
37 Reply- +1 y
Yeah, that totally makes sense for people who have children.
- +1 y
@Jamie05rhs for people with 1 or 2 kids they could maybe get away with doing daycare but any more kids then that it's way to expensive
- +1 y
@Apple1996 True.
But I believe in birth control. Lol - +1 y
@Jamie05rhs ah birth control is no fun and isn't always effective
- +1 y
@Apple1996. A lot of people use it, and they like it just fine. I'm sorry it didn't work for you, though.
- +1 y
@Jamie05rhs I'm actually not allowed to use birth control but I know a lot of other people that have kids cause of failed implants and failed vasectomy/tubes tied
- +1 y
@Apple1996 Okay, but those cases are very rare.
Do I want marriage - no. I am not against it, but I don't see major benefits.
Stay at home/Working wife - Working. We'll share everything together. Finances, household chores, taking care of the kids.
Does a woman who has no ambition to work turn you off - yes10 Replyif financially she did not need to work to help balance the budget, then it would be up to her.
I if the roles were reversed would want to get out of the house and work.
I enjoy the things I do, being out with people, feeling like I am making a difference.10 Reply- +1 y
I want marriage just like any other man (it's just that I have no faith in the modern woman); it wouldn't matter to me if she was working for her own money or if she chose to stay at home and be a housewife.
34 Reply- Asker+1 y
What's wrong with the modern woman
- +1 y
Where do I start? With the ways she makes herself LOOK ugly (the tattoos, the piercings, the things), or the ways in which she makes herself SEEM ugly (the feminism, the pro-abortion sentiments, the profanity, or the fact that she would do sexual things with girls)?
- Asker+1 y
Well I'm 20 and I don't think that applies to me as the "modern" woman but ok
- +1 y
I'm sorry but that's so ignorant, it's crazy that you have such an attitude at your age. It could be said about men in the exact same way and make as much sense. People are very different, just find one whose worldview matches yours. You don't have to settle for any of those things. It depends more on where you live than on the gender.
Depends what she would want to. I am currently at college, and if I finish it, then I would have a very well-paid job, so I could cover all finances. If she would like to work, then it's ok. If she would like to be a stay at home wife and mum, then it's also ok.
20 Reply- +1 y
If it's a just a job she doesn't like nor have passion for then I would rather her be home and volunteer in the community doing something.
If she has passion for her career then she can do her career.33 Reply- +1 y
On your update: I think work sucks unless its something you have passion for. Being a lazy woman is a turn off.
She can at least volunteer doing something productive in the community for a couple to few hours a day at the YMCA etc. - Asker+1 y
Ofcc she can have side activities
- +1 y
Totally cool then.
I am a stay home mom and I have been for almost 3 years. Im going to start looking for work in January, being with kids 24/7 is so hard on your mental health. Going to work you at least get a break from your kids and get to talk to adults.
30 Reply- Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
Stay at home wives suck, only rich guys can actually afford them. I can help to do housework but no lazy ass girl is for me. Eventually, they get bored mostly and cheat as the guy isn't staying home the whole day. Then comes the fight and divorce where she will take most of your stuff...
11 Reply- Asker+1 y
Damn lol
There should be a third option to vote, making it more of either or both.
It truly depends on the relationship dynamic more than anything else. I am okay with either as long as both people are happy and the basic needs are met.20 ReplyI think most men have an innate desire to be a provider. And many wouldn't mind being the sole provider. However, the current economic situation makes the set up impossible for most. As such the load should be spread as evenly as possible.
20 ReplyMost men do want marriage. There is a gap between what men and women want from each other and what both are willing to offer.
54 Reply- +1 y
Pffft you crazy marriage is worthless as the woman you're dumb enough to trust with it.
- +1 y
I'm not sure that most men want marriage. But many do. I'd say it's roughly 40%. If you break down the demographics, it's 20% for "men" under 25 and 50% for men over 25. (However, of the men who want marriage, only 80% of them want committed marriage for life. There is always the 20% that wants to divorce and upgrade later on.)
- +1 y
My fiancée has a career just as I do. She doesn’t need to change that when married.
i don’t think women won’t jobs are a turn off but women with careers are a turn on for me30 ReplyWorking, better to have two sources of income, reduce risk for the family economy. Why put everything on one person, it can go seriously wrong. Better to have both doing less time if you don't need all the money.
10 ReplyI look at it like this if I'm with the girl and I love her did I can do whatever I want for her with her and if she wants to stay home so you can stay home if she wants to work she but that's completely up to her
10 Reply- Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 y
At this point I just see women as parasites anymore when it comes to permanent relationships. I mean I have enough to be satisfied for the rest of my life. Why would I want someone in my life telling me it's not enough. No thank you I'm happy now.
21 Reply- Asker+1 y
Parasites wow lol
I´d go for working. Firstly I´m not sure I want kids (sorry), secondly because her earning money would mean that we also share the financial responsibility. For me that would take stress away
20 ReplyLate to the party but here's my answer:
Do I want Marriage? Yes
Do I want her to be a SAHM? also yes
Does that mean I want her to only have our children to take care of? Not necessarily
What I want when I think of a SAHM is a woman who puts her children first, but if she can have a business on the side or work a part time job from home then that's very much welcome, I just want to make it so she's not obligated (or thinks so anyway) to leave the house to have a desk job.00 Reply- Anonymous(30-35)+1 y
I didn't answer the poll because I won't be getting married. I like the concept of marriage, but not the reality of it today. For men, marriage offers fewer benefits now than marriage of the past, and it is also more risky and costly today. A simple cost/benefit analysis quickly reveals that marriage is a very unwise choice for men now.
10 Reply - Anonymous(36-45)+1 y
My take on it is if marriage happens, it happens. I think it'd be cool, but if it doesn't happen it's not the end of the world either. In terms of whether she works or not, I'm not hugely fussed one way or the other. Really, whatever makes her happy is fine with me. I'd rather she not work and have good positive energy than work at something that makes her unhappy and miserable. Her work ambition or lack thereof isn't hugely important. Other characteristics matter much more.
40 Reply - Anonymous(30-35)+1 y
I would only marry a childfree businesswoman or career lady. (I am not broke, I am ambitious myself). If everything works out serendipitous, we may build an empire and never be broke [again].
Housewives, I'm sorry but housewives are not for me.
40 Reply In general id like her to have her own career or do something she likes. I also think it's healthy to have some form of independence in a relationship.
20 ReplyFirst f*ck being married in todays modern standards (courts suck for men should it go wrong) but if I did she'd have to contribute 50 equality in everything.
30 Reply- +1 y
The hell, it more her choice no.. I think breaks are sort of fine, even long ones. But a life forever at home feels maybe a little boring. Especially if you don't have much to do
11 Reply- +1 y
*it's
Uhhh. what's the incentive for men to get married these days?
Aside from getting screwed in the divorce
No Thanks, I'd rather stay single
And perhaps goto a strip club from time to time20 Reply- +1 y
1. Marriage is something men do for women. It offers men nothing.
2. Yes, a woman with no ambition to work is a big turn off. Why should I have to support a woman's early retirement?39 Reply- +1 y
And what it doesn't offer men that it offers women?
- +1 y
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 It offers men nothing at all.
- +1 y
And what it offers women?
- +1 y
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 it offers them security and status. Women deeply desire to feel "picked." That's why the wedding day is the bride's day to be princess. Women also want to be able to say to other women that they were picked. They also want security--and in the USA women initiate most divorces, get almost all alimony, and can literally cheat on the guy and still come out ahead after divorce.
- +1 y
Security? What kind of security? Finantial? Women have jobs, they don't need to marry for that.
Status? Unless she is marrying a celebrity she gains none. Aka most marriages.
The wedding day is for the groom too. I say this already having been one.
Yes they iniciate most divorces. 40% of marriages fail and 70% by women. So you have 28% chaces after getting married she will divorce you. Not a lot.
If she cheats the court will not go easy on her. - +1 y
@This_Is_My_Opinion8
1. In the USA women who cheat don't have anything to worry about from divorce courts. I'm in Legal, so no this isn't my opinionn, it's the opinion of the family law attorneys I have met.
2. Yes, status. Women want to be married and picked. It's a female thing.
3. Of course women have jobs. And they want a guy who earns at least as much or preferably more than them. They also frequently want to be stay at home moms once they have kids.
4. The groom is a featured character in the wedding. The Bride is the star.
5. Women can divorce on a whim and in most states get 50% of the community property, which since women marry up, is typically an increase. Alimony also strongly favors women. - +1 y
1. I heard from people here saying otherwise.
2. What status? What status they gain? Also everyone wants to be picked. No one wants to be alone.
3. Today women don't want to just be stay at home mothers. They don't throw their careers away for their kids.
4. As if!
5. But is supposed for each partner to have 50% of what they both had. They both worked for it they both get half. Today in about 1/3 relationships women make more. Add the ones where the man makes just a little more and you will see this 50% splits don't benefit them that much. - +1 y
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Bud I didn't go to your opinion, you're the one obsessed with me. Google it.
- +1 y
Obsessed is a very strong word for someone debating your views.
- +1 y
Honestly, I don't care... wouldn't mind being a stay at home dad while she worked either or some give and take arrangement somewhere in between.
11 Reply- +1 y
Yeah... I wouldn't like to stay at home. I'd get bored out of my mind. Does that make me hypocrite haha?
Ones who can afford it don't care or prefer it. My guy and me made a agreement I wouldn't work till our daughters in school because we don't want other people raising her.
10 ReplyIf you mean she doesn't want to work outside the home, that might be OK if she is willing to work until there are kids.
If she wants to sit on the sofa and eat bon-bons all day, forget it.10 Reply- Anonymous(36-45)+1 y
Yes. If she doesn't want to stay home with the kids then I will. Little to no ambition doesn't bother me. Even if you have a good job it still sucks. As ambitious as I am; I still get how soul crushing work can be.
30 Reply I insisted that my wife take 4 years off to raise our daughter. We had a big fight over it. She wanted to work. Later she admitted that I was right and she appreciated that I insisted. And she will say. it was the only right thing I ever did.
30 ReplyWomen who don't want to work are lazy bums if they don't have kids
30 Reply- +1 y
1. Yes
2. I want her to work.
3. Yes, that turns me off majorly.10 Reply - +1 y
Working till we have kids then depends who makes more tbh
21 Reply- +1 y
Yes no ambition to work is a huge turn off
- +1 y
My friend is a really good looking guy with a high income his wife works and wake up 2 hours early to make him food for work and breakfast and dinner.
The guy had tons of better hot and younger he never left her.00 Reply - +1 y
Nah, I don't plan on ever getting married. Marriage is for hopeless romantics who end up miserable
10 Reply - +1 y
No problem with marriage in and of itself.
Marriage is a necessity if kids are involved.11 Reply- +1 y
90% of divorced women say their kids father is unnecessary
Marriage is an institution of fraud and corruption.
10 ReplyYou can still be in love without a piece of paper for the courts to use later.
10 Reply- +1 y
No, it's not something that could ever happen in my life anyways so I am ok staying alone.
10 Reply - Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
No, I prefer a live in relationship over marriage, if it's doesn't go well can always break up without paying alimony or child support.
In short I don't want legal relationship with my partner.10 Reply I prefer one who works even if its not a well paying job
20 Reply- +1 y
If she doesn’t want to work even at home it’s a turn off
10 Reply - +1 y
To the initial question, I’d possibly want to get married and to your second, I want a working wife not a stay at home wife
00 Reply - +1 y
working wife i want a woman who feels she can be independent as well.
20 Reply - Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
Ambition is a turn off. I mean women want ambition men that are confident. Not men. You want a man that behaves all feminine?
10 Reply - +1 y
I don't want marriage because my bro & my close friend provide emotional support effectively compared to girlfriend material woman.
00 Reply 1.2K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. She can work part time
14 Reply- Asker+1 y
Why part time? For more income as a whole or?
- Asker+1 y
Oh ok ty
- +1 y
I am married. My wife has a job outside the house. I would not have married her otherwise.
01 Reply- +1 y
But this site is full of those men. What did you expect?
Virtual impossible to only have one income, so I prefer she would like to work.
10 Reply- +1 y
I dont want a wife AT ALL. Literally at all. Get to work though. I hate lazy people.
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