I always loved women. I had girlfriends from the time I was 16. I wasn't a player and never cheated. But I didn't want to get married or have a family. I didn't think I was mature enough to make a good husband or father, and I was too interested in enjoying life to get tied down with responsibilities. I didn't decide that I was ready until I was in my mid-30s. At that point, I started looking for a life partner to settle down with.
Since I really wasn't interested in having kids, a stay at home, June Cleaver wife wasn't important. In fact, I didn't want someone sitting home all day waiting for me. All my girlfriends except for the first one who was 15 and lived at home had jobs and supported themselves. The girlfriends I had in my 30s had good jobs or careers.
When I was 40, I finally met the lady that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We totally clicked. After a year of exclusive dating, I proposed and we got married a year later.
Both of us had enjoyed our lives prior to meeting, but neither of us had ever been married. She had a career as a high-end cosmetologist and was also a professional photographer. At one point, she had worked for an airline and got to travel. She's quite a go getter.
She enjoys her work, stays busy, and I'm happy to have the extra income. I used to make twice as much as her but, now that I'm retired, she contributes a little more than half of our income. We're very happy with our home in the country, keep our bills paid, and hopefully have enough assets and savings to enjoy the rest of our lives. We're a team.
Yes, and stay at home. It's what I currently have. It means that I don't have to do anything but go to work and help raise the kids. She takes care of literally everything else. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, you name it. I do more work in an 8 hour span than she does, but her work day is much longer, so it comes out about even.
Being a housewife is NOT lazy. Those who say so have never done it themselves. Taking care of the home, running the house errands, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking the kids back and forth from school and extracurriculars, etc. Your workday never ends. You don’t get to clock out. It is not EASY and it’s even harder when both partners work.
If one person works while one focuses on the home then it becomes a partnership and both needs are met.
The narrative of housewives/stay at home moms as being lazy needs to end because it’s simply not true.
Most men can't afford a housewife so it doesn't really matter if they'd want to or not...
And nowadays men don't need to marry to benefit from being with a woman as if they were married. Some are ambitious enough to see this as a problem with the society and try to overcome it but the system is unfortunately also set up against them...
To put it shortly - there's more traditional women than traditional men in the western world. You can find them but it's not easy.
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I don't know if this is accurate or not, but normally the man Works while the woman cook, clean, shop, as a housewife should do. it also goes the same way with men the woman works the man Cooks, cleans, and shop. But in reality, the man would come home to his wife with dinner on the table and a smile waiting. but then again people aren't really ready for marriage. you really got to take the biggest step of your life to marry the person you are in love with and on top of that the marriage won't even works fully unless both partners are in sync with each other otherwise a divorce will happen eventually
I would love to have her stay at home if I could afford it.
In fact that is my plan, if I get rich enough - lots of kids and no work for her.
It would not be a turn off in the slightest if she wanted that too.
The one problem might be that the modern nuclear family/suburban setup could be very lonely if she did stay at home.
These things were only invented in the 50s. Previously people were all over each other, figuratively speaking - spilling over into each others' houses, the whole extended family nearby, all the neighbours sewing and washing clothes and watching kids together etc. Laughing, singing, general community and camaraderie.
It is a very different question now.
Before my last ex I did. Now I do not. I still want to have a family and a happy relationship. In my personal opinion, marriage gets in the way of the relationship.
If you're there because you signed a paper when you felt differently years ago and not solely out of freedom and choice, because that's what you both most want. To me it is less pure
I'd rather be together for love
I want her to be what she feels more happy doing. If we have a family that needs to be taken care of and she is more fulfilled doing that, and I can pay all the bills then fine. But I know some women are capable of making more money than me, or just need to get out and socialize with people or have a purpose. I would never dream of getting in the way of what a woman wants.
1. Overwhelming majority of the miserable guys on here can't even get a girlfriend, don't even talk about marriage.
2. Most men cannot afford to raise children without their wives working jobs.
Stay at home mom is preferable to me.
I want our kids to develop better than the ones in daycare (I've seen some very bad results). Having mom around to care is the better option.
And I want the opportunity to be ambitious in my work. I've read soo many books on productivity and preofessional development. I can't wait to outdo all my coworkers. If I have to split my attention/time about even between work and kids, that puts a limit on that. Plus, if I have the freedom to succeed there, it's way more money for the family. One stellar professional makes more than two average ones.
Beyond this, I'm just a competitive guy. If I can be a kind of family guardian, I'd love it. I essentially envision a structure where I tank all the challenges outside the home while my wife does what I'm bad at: deals with challenges within the home. I won't be able to progress achievements without her support.
I asked a question similar to this the other day, and basically the answer from everybody was a big NO
It doesn't matter to me. I make enough for her to stay home. But if she stays home she can't drive me nuts like my last wife.
I remember being in Milwaukee on extended very difficult project. We had to install an AS-400 and setup like 40 workstations.
My ex called me crying. . . claiming that our cat was pregnant.
Dude. . . .
Yes. And I don't know, it will depend on what will be working out for us - if she got enough saved money so we could put it together and buy a home, then her being a housewife would be manageable financially wise. If not then we should both work until we have our own place (since decent home costs about 30 yearly incomes) and then we could decide.
In my country both are working by standard. It's expected of any normally functioning citizen to be able to support their own weight.
I would consider it a sign of immaturity if someone considered it otherwise.
But ofc I understand that growing up in another country where there are such norms it might not be so strange.
if financially she did not need to work to help balance the budget, then it would be up to her.
I if the roles were reversed would want to get out of the house and work.
I enjoy the things I do, being out with people, feeling like I am making a difference.
I'm a stay at home mom. My hubby loves that I stay home and care for our babies. I honestly could never imagine working and it would be a waste of money and time considering anything I made would barely cover the daycare cost for 3 kids so working just isn't even a option for me
Do I want marriage - no. I am not against it, but I don't see major benefits.
Stay at home/Working wife - Working. We'll share everything together. Finances, household chores, taking care of the kids.
Does a woman who has no ambition to work turn you off - yes
I want marriage just like any other man (it's just that I have no faith in the modern woman); it wouldn't matter to me if she was working for her own money or if she chose to stay at home and be a housewife.
If it's a just a job she doesn't like nor have passion for then I would rather her be home and volunteer in the community doing something.
If she has passion for her career then she can do her career.
Depends what she would want to. I am currently at college, and if I finish it, then I would have a very well-paid job, so I could cover all finances. If she would like to work, then it's ok. If she would like to be a stay at home wife and mum, then it's also ok.
I am a stay home mom and I have been for almost 3 years. Im going to start looking for work in January, being with kids 24/7 is so hard on your mental health. Going to work you at least get a break from your kids and get to talk to adults.
Stay at home wives suck, only rich guys can actually afford them. I can help to do housework but no lazy ass girl is for me. Eventually, they get bored mostly and cheat as the guy isn't staying home the whole day. Then comes the fight and divorce where she will take most of your stuff...
There should be a third option to vote, making it more of either or both.
It truly depends on the relationship dynamic more than anything else. I am okay with either as long as both people are happy and the basic needs are met.
I think most men have an innate desire to be a provider. And many wouldn't mind being the sole provider. However, the current economic situation makes the set up impossible for most. As such the load should be spread as evenly as possible.
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