![If its ok for a woman to wait until marriage to have sex then is it ok for a man not to want to spend money on her until shes his wife?](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/q5117019/15712070-83e9-4eac-8bdb-64abb477ef41.jpg)
If it's ok for a woman to wait until marriage to have sex then is it ok for a man not to want to spend money on her until she's his wife?
![coachTanthony](https://images.girlsaskguys.com/users/751ac9657338eccd7f76602c8d0e754f/thumb.png?81)
![If its ok for a woman to wait until marriage to have sex then is it ok for a man not to want to spend money on her until shes his wife?](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/q5117019/15712070-83e9-4eac-8bdb-64abb477ef41.jpg)
Both choices are valid, but they’re not comparable. Physical intimacy involves personal boundaries, emotions, and physical well being. Financial decisions revolve around economic resources and personal values on money.
Just because I have the resources doesn't make me have to spend it on someone other than my future wife. A piece of paper is signed and the next day the woman's well being emotions and boundaries are now good to go? lol
Yes I would like to evaluate sexual compatibility before the papers are signed as well. Seems reasonable.
Same thing I said. Paying for meals and sex aren't even comparable. If he wants sex in exchange for paying for a woman's meal he needs to hire a prostitute. Expecting a woman to have sex with a stranger, be at risk of pregnancy and an std just because a guy can't afford to date is insane
@coachTanthony then you shouldn't be asking women out on dates.
@DreamLife7 I don't they usually ask me
That's embarrassing
And I highly doubt that
@DreamLife7 Thanks for the comments lol
Right , cause sex and paying for food isn't even comparable like he can't be serious. But I agree acquiring wealth as a woman is very important. That way she can easily dismiss guys like this without the burden of feeling controlled
@DreamLife7 I feel like I’m controlling you …I apologize lol
Marriage is not just a piece of paper and creates all the rights for both parties and so it is so important
@DreamLife7 Agree.
@Selena1987 he's either wounded, never been married or both.
@el_Te_de_la_Rosa I always try to encourage women to get their own as a back up. But there are men who are very educated, generous and have traditional values which are normally conservative men. Liberal men I would not reccomend if you want a traditional home
@DreamLife7 Wounded? I sprained my ankle last week so not sure who told you but that is messed up whoever did that.
If a man decides to take that route, I'm sure she will think him a skin flint and drop him in no time. I think most women would agree that the ball is always in his court.
I mean that can still be the case. Just because I am not spending my money on lavish vacations and gifts and saving that for my future wife doesn't mean I am not pursuing. LOL
I agree that spending can sometimes be extreme. You just have to know the balance. And the one of your checkbook too. 😄
Opinion
42Opinion
Money and sex are two different things. They should never be compared as similar things
Nobody is comparing them. A woman deems sex important to wait until marriage. A man deems money important not to spend it on anyone but his wife. Both seem reasonable to me unless you want to judge them together somehow lol
to coach , content important now i get your meaning
Then go ahead and get married and call it a day. But I feel sorry for whoever marries you. People who use things to manipulate others to extort what they want aren't very balanced. This goes for men and women. It is controlling, abusive and toxic. Get some therapy before you marry and have kids and ruin everyone else's life.
@SexyBrunetteNY I agree. A woman extorting marriage for sex is shameless.
The go gay and deal with a man who will agree, you have options!! Gay men get fast sex in open spaces. Hookers also get paid, so you can get a GUARANTEE for sex and be happy. Find solutions that work for your mindset rather than imposing your ideas on women who will disagree. Go get sex in other places, with men or whores who get paid for it. Good luck!!
@SexyBrunetteNY you're one hundred percent right
@SexyBrunetteNY There are plenty of women here who agree. So not going anywhere lol
That's right Miss apple!
@SexyBrunetteNY no one is going to marry him. Lol
@DreamLife7 no matter how hard you flirt with me I’m just simply not interested!
@coachTanthony you're getting offended over truth
@DreamLife7 I’m offended that you keep flirting to with me
@coachTanthony you're very offended lol.
@DreamLife7 are you flirting with him or is he delusional and worthy of report?
@DreamLife7 I had a hunch 🙄
Don't fight girls i have fair deal..
If she want to wait till marriage for sex then let it be...
If he have money then he can hire any prostitute for his needs..
See, and there I am thinking that's completely reasonable
But you already know how my family is when it comes to spouses and money
@KostasKouvalis haha it's okay you are free to have that opinion. I won't judge
I have never seen any girl ask me to wait till marriage for sex... no one wait in this days this whole argument is useless. Just my thoughts.
@heartrob25 bc they don't like you lol. Do the math
@DreamLife7
You're absolutely right they don't like me that's the reason they don't want to wait till marriage for having sex with me. 😊
@heartrob25 do the math. No they don't like u.
@dreamlife07
Does this matter if she like me or not? Because I get what I want from her.
@heartrob25 if u were really getting sex u wouldn't b talking about it nor on gag and faceless on gag on a weekend. Nice try
Why should I don't talk about it? Wow you're so offensive now. Butt hurt? There is no reason to get butt hurt miss.
If you view dating and marriage as legalized prostitution, it makes sense.
the gold ring and jewelery at weddings bothers me for the reason you mentioned.
luckily new testament said not to wear jewelry. now i need to find someone who obeys all new testament.
I mean she is extorting sex for a marriage certificate so yeah that is terrible on her part lol
If she's that kind of woman, why are you going to marry her? . . . Why are you even DATING her?
good question. I am not. I am marrying a woman who has sex before marriage. I will not be controlled. lol
I get where you're coming from but I think it's important to consider that a woman in this situation is likely to have a totally different view of sex than the guy.
It means something else to her in the context of a relationship, especially if she's a virgin.
The value of something depends on who it's being offered to. A woman's virginity and who they have sex with has an impact on their feminity just like how the woman a guy has sex with and other things have an effect on his masculinity. These things are important to both sexes.
No man wants to feel like less of a man, I'm pretty sure in the same general sense, no woman wants to feel like less of a woman.
I'm trying to say it seems like an apples to oranges comparison.
The way I see it it's like this:
The woman's virginity is obviously very important to her (at least, usually just before losing it), it takes a lot of discipline and self control to say no to something like that long enough to find a husband. It's a value she has as a result of her world view and it's I. Portant to her. So if it's not important to you as a man, you can either show her your way of thinking and accept whatever her reaction is or she's not for you, so stop wasting everyone's time and move on.
"it takes a lot of discipline and self control to say no." 👍👍👍 Thanks.
Just say no I agree. lol
About a decade or more ago, Singapore built 2 casinos.
What captured my attention was the license tendering process. One license, with three operators spending more than a million$ each on their proposals.
That day I learned what it means as "cost of investment": that some form of noticeable spending is necessary to achieve something big.
(eventually the government accepted two proposals and issues two licences instead of one.)
The answer to this question is: Marriage is like the license issued. But before issuing, the she may like to know if the man is "up to standard".
If he's not willing to spend that mmillion$, chances are he'll lose to the other competitors.
But spending doesn't mean he'll get her in marriage.
Nevertheless, is he "good enough" to show the world that he's capable?
These I think defines th person - a calculative misor, or a generous person of character?
And this is probably what she's considering before handling her vagina and more importantly her entire person and soul to him.
I would disagree on that one. I don't see what one has to do with the other. If she wants to wait till she's married, and I am leaning that way anyway, I am not about to punish her by not spending some time and money on her/us.
Sex constitutes so little of your overall time together. I would rather spend the time and get to know whether she and I are compatible in other ways first. Besides, as soon as you involve sex, it seems to blind some people as to what the real goal is which is make sure you can spend your life with this person and not want to throttle them 6 months into the marriage.😂
"I don't see what one has to do with the other."
That is because they don't have anything to do with the other. It's just simply two sets of values by two different people.
I suppose, if the two are okay with those rules. I couldn't hold out on spending money on her/us because it would feel like I'm punishing her for having those values. Marriage is an investment of sorts, so you may as well get used to sharing the cost and/or paying for things as part of that investment. I'm sure she would look at that way too. I'm not saying you flip the bill for everything, after all we talk about being equal all the time, she has to invest in the relationship, also.
The question is tongue and cheek of course but just trying to show how values are viewed differently in society.
Great answer here… spot on
This logic is dumb in my opinion, I believe that money shouldn't be something you spend carelessly on someone of course, but it's also not something you should think of as a trade for sex.
If my friends are short on money, I have no issue with being the person that pays if we go out to eat or go bowling for example. I just think that if you care about someone you should not see an issue in treating each other equally (money-wise). If both parties are in a financial position to do so, why act frugal about this, especially if it's someone you care about? The same goes for a person you're romantically interested in.
Nobody is trading anything. She could be having sex with the guy before marriage and he will still say hey I am not spending money on anyone who isn't my wife. People keep comparing the two and it's simply just two separate people with two separate values not necessarily the two people being together.
Those are not related.
If a man finds a woman who is attractive and nice to him enough so that he'd like to take her out, catering her and accompaning her. I think it's natural for a masculine man to want to be a protector or a provider.
If a woman agrees to have sex with a man she doesn't know well, there's still no guarantee that he'd instantly marry her, right? Worse. She would become a hoe to him, keeping him wondering how many men she had before him? Is she worthy to marry at all because she can't say no to a man who's obviously not her husband... or at least a boyfriend.
Agree they are not related.
You spend money on your friends, family and other loves ones all the time. You buy them gifts, food etc. Do you tell those people the same thing? Just never spend money on a surprise party or Christmas gift for them because they never have sex with you?
Even the way the question is phrased is odd. There are men who don't want to have sex until they get married, and nowadays most women also pay for their partners to an extent. Is sex only worth it if your partner is spending a lot of money on you? Is it only worth paying for your partner if they have sex with you? In that case you are better off just seeing a sex worker instead of trying to date.
I mean one doesn't have anything to do with the other. If you and me were dating and you gave me sex before marriage I would still say I only spend money on my future wife so... I mean mind your P's and cues and just maybe one day you'll get a little taste of this bank roll.
See, the thing is I don't see sex as something I "give", I see it as something I do and take an active role in. Sure, sometimes I'm "giving" my boyfriend sex in terms of agreeing to do it because he wants it, but sometimes he's giving it to me as well.
Yes exactly it's all about give and take.
Because waiting for marriage is traditional, and men wanting to pay is also traditional. Men who don't want to provide are modern and should stick to modern women. Easy solution. And I'm saying that as someone who didn't accept gifts worth more than $15 from my husband before we were married.
Well men don't have any money women do. So if the man is going to spend any shouldn't it be on his future wife and not someone who isn't'?
Women are making more money then men these days let's face it. So why are men spending all theirs in 2023 on women and her not be his wife? Because somehow it's the right thing to do or it's tradional?
I'd be interested in where you got that information, since the US census says single men's median income is about 12k more than single women's. But even if that were the true, men who don't want to provide (or are just aren't capable of it) can find them a modern woman and be her house husband.
If the information was correct what would your answer be? The same I am assuming lol
I already answered that:
"But even if that were the true, men who don't want to provide (or are just aren't capable of it) can find them a modern woman and be her house husband." Or whatever him and his wife agree on.
A non traditional man should stick with a non traditional woman, as I said in my original answer. Easy solution.
Men who don't want to provide have nothing to do with this question. Where did I say the man doesn't want to provide. He wants to provide everything he has to his wife not some random he is dating. If she is the one then she can wait and will be provided for. lol
It's 2023. Men paid for dates back in the day because women didn't work or made very little. It only becomes traditional because it happened over a period of time. Men now a days find it disgusting that women define "being traditional" as men spending money lol
What? The only reason Anything becomes traditional is because it happens over time...
tra·di·tion
/trəˈdiSHən/
1.
the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.
My husband didn't find it disgusting, he wanted to pay for stuff when we were dating. Not because I didn't
make money, because he wanted to.
You'd be right about men finding it disgusting if you put "modern" before it. That's why they need to stick to "modern" women, hope this helps!
Still waiting on that source for your info...
Too bad you didn't mention values and chivalry. Just money. There are other things ya know.
Thanks for the comments
Are you for dude, like you are comparing money with sex. whyy
Listen sex is not something you can do alone okay unless we are talking about masturbating so if a girl denies having sex before marriage the guy does have the same authority to deny or ask for it. So it all comes down on consents. I do not wanna go personal here however if you are really dying for sex why don't you book one for yourself. Its not like you are broke or whatt.
Don't get me wrong but the question is dumb.
There is no comparison. It's two separate values that two people hold. You want to compare go ahead. And if the question is dumb go do something else with your life then comment on a dumb question. lol
LOL. Apology accepted
Absolutely not, in my opinion. The sex/money equation should not be regarded as a two way exchange, and a woman has every right to refuse to let the guy have sex with her until she's ready to do so. However, in no way does that then give the guy a valid reason to be cheap, stingy and tight with his money. This is my opinion only.
OMG please check the update
So you like getting abused by women who use you for foody dates... nice
@Lookingforthetruth Yes, Sir, very much so. Not only that, but the next weekend, when you're having dinner with her, and presumably a long night of intimacy afterwards, I will make every effort to receive the privilege of paying for your romantic evening with her, as well. I know that sounds ridiculous, but nothing compares to the excitement of knowing that after you've enjoyed a sumptuous candlelight dinner with her, you'll be enjoying something much more satisfying, that I can only dream about.
My response to many comments I have been seeing: Only naive women are fail to see the relationship between money and sex. Men learn early on there's is a clear relationship between money and sex. Women expect men to invest in them financially and emotionally before they have sex with them. Rich men tend to have access to more women. And women often screen men based on how much money he makes. It's one of the 2 most common screens women make one being income the other being height.
To answer the question directly: I think it depends on the type of role the woman is respected to bring into the relationship, if she is expected to be a stay at home mom or wife and have traditional duties, I think it's expected for the man invest in the women to summon some extent, but not completely as the relationship would be unbalanced if she's not having sex with him. If she will be an equal or near equal bread winner then no, I don't think men should have to spend money on her.
The question made me laugh so hard I couldn't answer it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Let's face it, every species of animal has one sex that makes itself appear irresistible to the other one and the other sex that has to do all the courting to win them over.
In humans guess which sex is which?
Womens' power comes from the fact that men are hornier than women. Whoever needs something less has power over the other. So men need to pay to get what they need. It's a fact of human nature.
Well that is simply vagina extortion lol
It's also ok for men to wait until marriage and ok for women not to waste time and money on a guy until marriage. Waiting for marriage and spending money on gifts isn't gender specific, it depends on the culture the person's were raised in and how much they earn
I agree with this. It's called a dowry. Why not? Everyone gets vetted beforehand. Prenuptials deal-breakers everything upfront. Once that's sorted she gets spent in and he gets laid. It worked for a gazillion years but someone decided dating was better. Doesn't seem that way to me...
It's fine to propose that. It's not fine to expect the woman to be okay with it, just as it is not fine to expect a man to be okay with no sex before marriage.
No doubt.
That would make sense only for a person that doesn't see the meaning and value of having a wife and being in a marriage.
If marriage is only a piece of paper to the people involved, there is no reason to even get married in the first place.
So, for men who think it's okay to think like that, maybe look for women who don't care about marriage, or don't want to get married.
Yes... No
The one has nothing to do with the other. If he doesn't want to spend money on her because she is not his wife yet he better move onbecause he is not worthy.
Realy.. these 2 things are not related in any way. { weird question... I don't understand}
You don't understand because you are assuming the woman says to the man he has to wait for sex until marriage then the man springs on her okay then well I ain't spending money on you then until we are married. That is not the question. He will say that to her no matter if sex is happening or not. His money will not be spend on anyone but his future wife.
Well yeah.. Sorry.. But I though it was a couple like more people here. 😄 Perhaps the question was not quite clear.. 😄 Oh well, take care..👍
Lol, that's crazy. You are not buying a wife here. A person wants to spend on a good natured woman not because of sex you idiot. We do it because we like to take care of her. Do you take a male friend out to eat or watch a movie because you are marrying him too 🤣?
Exactly. "Hey, male friend, if you aren't going to bend over after I buy you this movie ticket and some popcorn, I'm not buying."
@SexyBrunetteNY 🤣🤣 that's crazy. Why would anyone expect this
Still not appropriate. Because if he is that much concerned then he should go to a mail order bride service and get a bride or go to some gypsy village and marry a girl and give her all his riches. This is just appalling that you want both love and attraction and make her a wife too.
A person has to draw the line somewhere. You can't get the best of both worlds. And in case you do, just remember that God was kind to you
Not sure I understand what you are saying. All I am saying is the man has every right to not spend his money on any woman who isn't his wife. Sex has nothing to do with it.
Dude you are getting off track here. I am speaking specifically on a woman he is dating and the woman he marries. Never said he is not spending money on his friends or family at appropriate times during holidays etc
Then that's fine. Be who you are but understand that people who are stingy and are also emotionally stingy as well. Relationships are about two people giving each other love and support - that isn't only about $$ but withholding it IS abusive and won't work if you want to build a bond. But don't spend if you feel resentful and get used to being alone, or paying for hookers who WILL oblige to sex on demand for your money. Most women are seeking to avoid being hurt or used sexually, and if you can't relate, so be it, but find other solutions to make you happy outside of dating norms.
@SexyBrunetteNY saying goes, hungry and a fed person can't walk together. Greedy woman for greedy man, good woman for good man.
During dating, woman should ideally not have sex. If someone will stick with you he will regardless of that. That should be the byproduct and not a way to marriage or keep a person interested. Most people after marriage are really each other's supposed best friends
That's what the person posting is suggesting, lmaoooo!!
@SexyBrunetteNY 🤣
But yeah coach was just asking and may be I went overboard but unlike American cultures Arabs have a different brain 🧠 altogether. The woman will tell you to marry her in 1 or meetings. And dating too long is seen as time waste and inappropriate.
Likewise in my country dating is frown upon and dating usually ends in ultimate marriage. Once you are dating which is usually secret from family but not always the answer is marriage. And usually girls are the one to break it up and marry a richer guy if the arranged one is slightly like that.
I think in terms of money, they should always go fifty fifty.
Men should also stop dating younger girls, 18-25 age group, who are studying or don't have proper employment options.
Because as a man, it's not possible for you to date a younger gal and expect her to be self sufficient.
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