Is taking the man's last name in marriage outdated?
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No, you take your husband's last name and your kids have his last name because you're a family...
Why would that be outdated🤷🏼♀️
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Nah. The family needs something to hold them together. Is it fair that it’s the man’s name? I mean maybe not, but historically it makes sense since it was the man that had the professional life and dealt with the public more often. Is it worth going through a huge social Revolution to choose it? No. Last times are just to help us organize and keep track of people and families. Destroying it in the name of some heroic equality will make things more confusing for everyone. Especially with the kids? If the parents have different names, who’s name do they take? If both, when do THEIR kids do? Take four names? No one is actually getting hurt in this arrangement. Let’s go find real injustices and fight those
I don't care if something is considered "outdated". I'll do whatever the Hell I want to. I don't follow trends, especially not trends in regards to what's considered appropriate or not. I dress like it's still 1920/1940, my values don't match "modern" values, and my traditions are old world traditions.
If you want to get to specifics though, not all places do that anyway. In Scandinavian countries the last names are dependent on the father or mother. In many Muslim households, the man and woman keep their last names. Spanish women have been keeping their names throughout history. Other European countries, like Netherlands and Belgium, women keep their last name.
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Seems younger women and divorced then remarried women are doing this more and more. I am very progressive in many areas, but very traditional in others. This is where I would be very hurt if she did not take my last name. Now, at my age, if I were to remarry and she didn't want to take my name, there would be 1 question. When she married the first time, did she take her husband's name? If she says yes, and refuses to take mine, I would end the relationship. If she is my age and has always kept her name, then I would still be very hurt, but I could probably live with it.
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No not outdated but also not necessary to take his last name either. Personally I kept my last name cause I didn't want to do all the paperwork to change it. I always thought I wanted to take his name till I realized how difficult of a switch it actually is.
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Yes. But the problem is finding an alternative. Most people still want their family to all have the same last name.
I think that a couple should just decide together whose name they want to take, or if they want to hyphenate, or make a new name altogether. But you'd be hard pressed to find many guys who are even open to the conversation.
Personally, I'm probably going to take my spouse's name anyway, but that's mostly because I don't particularly like my own surname. I will keep my own name as well, informally, but I wouldn't give it to my children. Because the family that it's associated with has a pretty messy history. And it might have been part of my journey, but I don't want my children's to be anything like that. -
Not really but I don't think it has to be a mans, could be the woman's. Whatever the two of you can agree on.
I believing having the same last name though is best for the kids. If you keep your own, what do you give the children? Rotate every other child with each of your last names or some other method? -
No it isn't. It shows the commitment a woman has for her husband who has committed his love, resources, time and even life to her. My girl is free to keep her last name, but she does very much want my last name and I appreciate that. You will find the women who bitch about women taking men's last names to be incredibly hypocritical. So it's not okay for a woman to take a man's last name because that's "OpPresSiOn" by the "pAtRiArChY", but vice versa they see no issue in it.
A good way to distinguish a good woman from the femiNazi is by asking her this very question. -
I would take his last name. I think it is important to be a family and to have my children's last name too. I don't think it's outdated.
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I think it depends. I don't even have my dad's last name.
I did consider changing it before he passed. He's not even on my birth certificate and my mum messed that up too.
I on the other hand can only say this the children would always have their fathers name. -
I don’t see the point in taking his name legally tbh. (None of my four sisters did and all of their husbands don’t have an issue with it.) I wouldn’t mind being referred to as his last name though. Taking the mans last name isn’t really a thing in my culture and most women keep their dads last name out of respect.
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This picture is triggering to me 😂😂
Anyways I wouldn't say it's outdated but it's certainly sexist. Whenever a woman takes her husband's name is like she's becoming his property. I never understood why can't he take her name too. Sadly most people, including married women see no problem with this. It's one of these things that will never change... - 523 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
Even if it wasn't, i dont feel like changing all my files and dealing with SSA paperwork. People can call me by his last name but on paper it’ll still be mine
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Personally I never will take my husband's lastname but it's really up to you. I'm an individual and I prefer being in a marriage as two individuals... not just the Mrs.
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It doesn’t cross my mind, to not take his last name, the only time though it has is when people put it on the Internet and turn it into a meme or to shame guys. When I was younger, sometimes you’d see a woman’s last name with a hyphen then her husbands last name. But it was not a thing to doubt or create something out of.
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I also noticed that the couple is interracial. So, no, it is not outdated. In my case it's a moot point because I don't want to get married, but if I did, I would insist on two things: 1) a prenup (unless she makes more money than I do, then I would still agree on a prenup for her benefit, not mine)
2) She takes my last name. If she doesn't, it defeats the purpose of marriage. If she takes my last name, then she is telling everyone that she is my wife. If she doesn't, then it says she's ashamed to be married to me. I don't want to read any crap about how "I don't want to have to update my licenses, degrees, diplomas, and whatever accomplishments I decided to cook up". I changed my last name to my original family name. My great grandfather immigrated to America and for whatever reason, he changed his name. So, I changed it back. To my knowledge, I am the only living member of my family with this last name. -
He's gonna be the breadwinner and provider, I don't think it's outdated to have the kids take his name.
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Nah it's something girls want unless they're feminists
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It makes a lot of sense, for a lot of practical reasons, for the husband, wife and children to all share the same last name. Some would argue then that it could just as easily be the wife's last name, and that's true.
However, marriage is becoming less and less attractive to men. There are more risks and fewer benefits in marriage to men these days. Having his family all share his name is one of the few remaining benefits for a man, and taking that one away may well be the final nail in the coffin for the institution of marriage.
Having said all that, I would never marry a woman who wouldn't enthusiastically take my last name. If she wanted to keep her name or hyphenate, that tells me all I need to know about her character and worldview to know she doesn't deserve to be my wife. -
I know this sounds kinda weird, but I would use whichever name is better. Like if my last name was Rose and his was Weiner, I would keep 🌹
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No, I’d take his last name.
It think it’s being more accepted that men take their wives last name or that the wife keeps hers and husband keeps his. -
The whole marriage thing sounds like an old scam to men in modern times, but If I ever get the get married, I would be really disappointed If my lover didn't want my name, at the point of calling it off and finding another woman to give my last name to. This is very symbolic to me, it's an statement that you become part of your man's soul and that he has the obligation to take care of you.
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To some yes. Most people I know did a hyphen of their name.
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My ex still uses my last name.
I don't know if she will stop using it when I remarry. I have not thought about it. I guess it is only outdated for those who think it is outdated.
It is just our society has changed so much. There was a time when all a man had to do was to provide. Then we made that unfashionable and impractical.
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