My fiancé had sex in his bachelorette in Colombia and we have 3 kids together what should I do?

[Edith88]

He denied everything until I had to show him proof. When he came back from his bachelorette I didn’t see no remorse until I found out. I’m so heart broken and I can’t see him the same no more. He also doesn’t want to tell me what went down and gets me so angry because he can’t be honest and tell me what happened. All he says, I fuck up. I found a picture with his friends and they where with girls like if there where couples hugging each other and kissing. I also found a email that he went to the doctor to check for STD when he came back from the bachelorette. I read the messages with his friends talking about that they looking for girls to spend time with. I also found out he had a house party in the Airbnb he was staying and there was drugs and alcohol at a lot of girls. It’s just so much that it’s very hurtful. I told him not to go to Colombia but he still did and I feel like he wanted to go there to have sex with a Colombia girl. I told him before he went I don’t want to find out you with girls or there strippers. Crazy that he actually didn’t give a dam about his family. I feel like I can’t forgive him but at the same time we have 3 kids. In his message with his friends you can clearly see he doesn’t regret what he doing behind my back. His groomsmen are also married and also cheated in this trip. He wants me to work it out but wants me to forget this like nothing happened. It really suck because my wedding is a few days and I’m so depressed. Not sure how I’m supposed to put a happy face in the wedding. Any advice I really need it. 😞

[Carolus]

It’s clear things haven’t been working out but you two decided to pretend they are and even planned for a wedding as a formality. No offense intended but it’s common for women to turn a blind eye, try to force issues (for example, you can’t just tell a man not to do some - like “don’t dare go to Colombia”, “don’t cheat on me”, he will do it in protest) and pretend everything is okay. Am too in the same situation, my wife goes against me in everything and my decisions then still expect me to “be” the happy husband and even complain I don’t appreciate, complement, love or make love to her. I haven’t cheated her though am always lonely. Point in this, it’s normal to feel you are the best woman (best wife to be) for him and entitled on how you have been handling stuff and yourself, but that’s to you, not to him, he is unsatisfied in this relationship, a man doesn’t wake up one day and decide to cheat, there are issues that have led to this.


What to do, forget about this marriage, you two should separate and find agreeable way to raise the children.

[Anonymous]

I’d put this marriage on hold. Not that I’m on his side but them COLUMBIAN women have banging bodies. I think you should have gotten married first before the 3 kids, would have made things a lot easier. It doesn’t sound like he regrets it. I’d say to consider seriously leaving. You don’t want to remain w someone for the sake of the kids. Kids aren’t stupid, they can tell when you’re not happy. Maybe counseling. There’s no real reason for him to get married, he has everything he needs as far as the kids, you, etc.

[Alwayreckles93]

Well she needs to decide in the present what is going to be best for her future and if she had three kids well what's done is done last not live in the past.

[SueShe]

The only reasonable thing to do is to call the wedding off on a short notice.

When people ask you why, don't be shy to tell them the entire story and the reason why you cannot see yourself living a lie for the rest of your life.

Yes, you have 3 children now but that will make no difference to him whether he is married or not. He will NOT support them because for him, his freedom to fornicate is so much more important than you and his kids.

You marry him and you make it even more difficult to separate later in life because by marrying him, you endorse his behavior since you knew beforehand that he is a compulsive liar and cheater.

If you value your dignity, self-esteem and honor, then you let this loser go as quickly as possible.

[Alwayreckles93]

Called the wedding OFF , Girl live him believe me Once a cheater always a cheater. He isn't going to change. You're fiancee is a narcissist I was married to one. You will feel lonely and miserable it is best if you dump his looser ass he isn't worth it. I understand you have three kids with him. But it isn't healthy for you and the kids. Trust is broken already.

[Gent207]

I second Caolus opinion but I add
If you want reconciliation than you two need to find the right marriage counselor and be ready to fight hard to rebuild trust and love.
OR
Alternatively you could collect all your evidence for the divorce and win major points towards child support.

[LazerBean]

Don't marry him and don't have sex with people who wait till they have 3 kids with you before they reluctantly marry you.

[Mikeybear]

@LazerBean @Edith88 @SueShe Pre-marriage counselling and therapy.

[Avicenna]

You need couples therapy if you decide to stay together

[Anonymous]

3 kids... not even married yet... i mean it's kind of set up for failure already.

[Guy13]

Do t expect it to change. You knew going in..

[Zenit93]

Don’t marry him