To all married people, what is your advise to those people who are planning to get married or wanting to get married? Why?

[Pinay_ako]

[Djaay]

Marriage and it's Holy Matramonial reason is the (Only) reason to marry. All other reasons end arbitrarily. In other words if both of you aren't doing it for GOD don't marry at all.

[Pinay_ako]

Amen to this

[Djaay]

Thnx for the mho

[Chaser3232]

If you’re not in it for the long-haul, don’t get married and don’t have kids! I was married until her death parted us!

[Pinay_ako]

Sorry to hear that

[Chaser3232]

Thanks, but that’s what I signed up for, 47 years. She just happy to leave this earth first!

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't get married unless you are 100% committed to making the marriage more important than you by yourself, and you are willing to do the work to resolve conflicts and difficulties as they arise. Don't get married unless you are prepared to say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong." Don't get married if you need to calm our fears by holding on to the knowledge that you can always escape a marriage. Don't get married unless you are willing to have him die in your arms when you are 147 years old.

And don't get married unless your partner feels the same exact way abot commitmenet to marriage.

[Bambalicious]

I’ve been married 12 years.
*Friendship: We’re best friends and share a lot of the same interests and dislikes. We love spending time together.
*Communication: Communication is key to every kind of relationship.
*Romance: Your sex life can either start off amazing or needing some work. But this is another place that communication comes in. You need to express what you like and don’t like or what you want to try.
*Honesty
*Loyalty
*Trust: You should be able to trust your spouse to hang out with others without thinking they’re cheating. Trust issues can come from past relationships but shouldn’t be projected onto an innocent person. That would mean that you should take time an heal yourself.
*The little things are actually big things: After 12 years my husband still compliments me and tells me I’m beautiful. He still calls me throughout the day and tells me he loves me. Honestly I think I hear it 20 plus times everyday. He still walks on the outside of the sidewalk to protect me. He still opens doors for me (car & building). He still takes me on little dates.

[Prettygurl12]

Pick your mate wisely. Don't rush. If they're the right person then they'll still be the right person 5 years from now.

Make sure you agree on basic values: Money - how to manage it; children - how many to have (if any); religion; in-laws - how close to live to them.

A marriage is a team sport. It's not you against your spouse about an issue. It's you and your spouse against the issue.

[BCRanger10]

The first thing I'd say is don't have sex or live together before getting married. I know, I know. A lot of people are going to say "but Ranger, what about compatibility?" Compatibility doesn't make a marriage last. People do. Marriage is about a man and a woman (and only a man and a woman) formally committing themselves to each other and creating a life together and raising children. They overcome their own selfishness and work through incompatibilities together. The key word is "together".

Also, don't sign a prenup. You're asking for trouble. You're anticipating problems that you can't, or more likely will choose not to work through. Plus, as Robert De Niro learned a couple of years ago, prenups can be challenged in court. You're just adding another layer of complication to an already tense and difficult situation.

[exitseven]

I go along with that

[Sparkie460]

My advice would be don't rush into marriage. Take your time and get to know each other very well. Marriage isn't 50% /50%. It's both partners giving 100%. If you only give 50% the marriage won't work. Always compromise, instead of arguing. Communicate together all the time. Tell your partner your thoughts and feelings. Listen to their thoughts and feelings. Don't just tell them you love them, show it. Hug and kiss your partner for no reason other than you love them. Trust your partner and don't give them any reason for them not to trust you. Then have plenty of sex.

[Andres77]

Premarital counseling.

It forces the couple to talk through issues that might not have come up because they are uncomfortable or the couple is simply unaware of the pitfalls that can harm a relationship.

Being "in love", some people are focused on "being with" their partner but haven't thought through the mundane that will happen eventually.

Premarital counseling will help them face the issues to, develop strategies to deal with them before the marriage and help identify issues in which someone might never compromise their position. Forewarned is forearmed.

[Andres77]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3POqniIMlQU

[Andres77]

Video is less than 5 minutes. It really opened my eyes. Bruce Lipton, head of the genetics department of Stanford University. Smart guy! Look up more of his stuff to better understand how the brain works. It's amazing.

[Andres77]

Bruce WAS the head of genetics. He's an author and speaker now.

[ArrowheadSW]

@Andres77 Good advice. I always tell people who are engaged that they should get premarital counseling. No matter how well they think the relationship is going. I'll watch the video later.

[Andres77]

@ArrowheadSW
👍👍👍
Thanks

[Chazmatazz269]

I always tell men talking about marriage to check the stats. It’s a rigged game in which men lose every… single… hand. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. Most men are more aware of that fact now, but some states are responding by enforcing common law marriage again. So pretty soon we won’t even be able to “shack up”. It’s getting pretty gross out there.

[mobiusforniner]

Your perspective of love will evolve. The idea of butterflies and crazy awesome sex fades with time. The test of true love is learning to cope with eachothers shortcomings, maintaining communication and trust, taking care of each other by setting aside your comfort and convenience for the priority of your parnter. It sounds easier than it truly us. Marriage is work. Given that many people have a compelling and natural prospensity to avoid work, marriage is not for everyone.

[madgoat]

Be honest about who you are, who your partner is, what you want out of the relationship and life, and whether you think they fit into your life and will continue to do so. And whether they really want to be there, with you, for the long haul.

It's easy to dismiss warning signs at the start of a relationship. You won't be as forgiving after a few years, neither will they.

[Guy13]

Pre-marital counseling and BOTH Man and Woman reading and living out of Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5 is the basis of couple and marriage counseling. Where do you thing Psychology got the idea To Be from..

[Finchie40]

Just make sure the person you want to marry knows what it means to remove selfishness for each other , if they can’t remove selfishness then don’t get married

[LazerBean]

Make sure you are on the same page with them about every aspect of life. It makes being married very easy.

[Fuentes]

Marriage has become a disgusting thing in my eyes

[Pinay_ako]

Have you been married before?

[Fuentes]

No and I will never be ever

[Pinay_ako]

Why you opposed to marriage?

[Fuentes]

Cause men get fucked in the courts by it, and I don't think women deserve mens money. Most of the time it's not abuse or anything wrong at all. It just stems from boredom and loss of excitement

[Pinay_ako]

Which is a sad unfortunate reality.

[Fuentes]

I seen to many cases and know to many dudes who got messed over it's really sad how way to much is losses in this world lol

[Pinay_ako]

So don’t be a statistic

[Fuentes]

That's why you won't catch me married lol

[exitseven]

@Fuentes I know lots of cops and most are divorced, some more than once. They all have ex wives and ex kids and girlfriends all over the place. I realize that I have lucked out in the marriage department. It is not perfect but it is way better being married to my wife than it was when I was alone.

[Fuentes]

@exitseven cause they married the badge bunnies and a lot can't handle dudes not being home and gone for 12 hours a day or longer or the fact they may not even ever come home. So the marriage always fails half the time I have no idea why certain women not all, would even try to get with a man with a extremely demanding career and then back out. Shits wild. And yup bro u did get lucky but that's the issue it's hard to find good people In general.

[exitseven]

@Fuentes I am a pretty average guy and I defied the odds. On some level I think I always knew there was somebody out there for me. I just had to do the legwork.

[Juven]

Getting married is not about falling in love again, being happy or sad, sex, money, or any other experience both have gone through in their lives as single people. All that selfishness is done and now both should only agree on the fact that getting married is about living. Evolve!

[Pinay_ako]

…. Are you married?

[Juven]

Joke's on you... Twice!

[Bmories99]

Best advice I will give anyone looking to get married is once you get married cling to each other.

[genericname85]

if you're going to marry to fix your relationship, forget it. it's not gonna last.

[exitseven]

Yes, and having a baby to save a marriage is even worse.

[notwoke]

if you hate sex and want a woman to gain weight and waste all of your money you are going to love marriage

[exitseven]

I imagine that you have managed to stay in shape all these years.

[notwoke]

@exitseven yes, still a six pack actually

[exitseven]

Marriage is a good thing but it involves a lot of work.

[annabananna]

Learn to communicate effectively and respect and love the other person for who they are. Be gentle with each other.

[KrakenAttackin]

As a formerly married man, I would not suggest that any man get married, ever.

[pastuser]

Why's that?

[KrakenAttackin]

@pastuser Because there is zero benefit to men.