Do you think that finding someone to settle down with is worth it?

Question

I'm in my mid 20s and the idea of spending the rest of my life married scares me.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

I didn't answer, because it totally depends on your personal values and goals.

For some people, all they want in life is to have a family, dedicate their lives to raising kids and building domestic bliss.

Others want to travel the world, or pursue career dreams, creative ambitions.
Some people want to try to do both, or multiple things, which can work of course, but typically if you split your time and energy between two things that demand a lot of time and energy, you won't achieve greatness in either one. (But some people are quite content to achieve mediocrity).

In my mid 20s, I wanted a big family because I came from one and it is wonderful to have a close knit bond with my siblings. Now, I am in my mid 40s and I realize I have had an amazing life already without raising a family, and that many of the things I have done would have been very difficult if not impossible if I had become a father. I am quite happy now to continue as I have been. I have a lot of love around me and no need to build a dynasty.

Do you think that finding someone to settle down with is worth it?

If you don't want to get married, don't do it. Enjoy your life!

Lliam · Accepted Answer

When I was in my 20s, I couldn't imagine settle down for the rest of my life. Even though I had exclusive, infatuated relationships with girlfriends from the time I was 16, I wasn't interested in marriage or kids. I didn't want the responsibility.

It wasn't until my early thirties, after I had explored life, had lots of fun and adventure, done what I wanted, had a career and accumulated assets, that I decided to think about settling down. I was ready to start a new chapter in my life with the security of a life-long partner.

I had a couple more long-term relationships that didn't work out, and finally met my future wife when I was 40. She turned out to be the perfect life partner for me. We've been happily married now for over 26 years, gone through thick and thin, had lots of fun and have built a wonderful life together.

It took me from age 16 to 40 to become the man who could be stable enough to be admired and respected by such a woman and to admire and respect her.

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

It's worth it when you can't imagine life being better for YOU any other way. You don't sound even close to ready, so don't feel like it's something you need to do just because others are doing it.

Personally, I've always preferred partners, family, and marriage. I do not enjoy life as much any other way. So, it's very much worth it for me personally.

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

It's best not to settle for something you're not ready for. Most people get married 25-30s years. old. But you can pick any age to get married when you're ready. And how "later" it is doesn't matter, it's about you going at your own pace.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You don't want to get married and you are asking other people if that is okay. Perhaps you will be more interested in marriage when you develop more self-confidence.

AviatorTom · Answer

Settling down provides stability in life, which reduces stress. It's a good thing. But not everyone wants to settle down, and that's okay too.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Yes. It’s worth it but not now. Heck, not even for years. I sure as heck loved my single days and they are tons of fun. I even have very, very, fond memories of them. Yet…

I never thought of getting married as ‘settling down’ but rather I saw it as leveling up.

Finding someone who is just ALWAYS there. Is amazing. Your friends will slowly fade away as many of them also decide to settle down and your social life will start to become less and less important. The ability to share an income and achieve bigger goals. To share the day to day life with someone. To come home to someone on the great or bad days. Loving other properly means we also get plenty of time alone. I go backpacking or SCUBA diving or drink & cigar night with my buddies which is something she doesn’t care to do. A healthy marriage brings a immeasurable amount of peace, comfort, and security with it.

molonski2 · Answer

Certainly not at mid 20s , but just be realistic and understand , all these " relationships " can people bang on about here , none of them are going to last , that's simply the facts of it.

So , just understand it for what it actually is , all smoke and mirrors.

Kaamraj · Answer

Men and women work best if both work together. That entails both parties must make some sacrifices to their sexual strategy so that the sum of the union can be more than the sum of the individuals.

But this is nearly 2024 not 1960. Most women want to play a zero sum game here they get to enjoy all the benefits of a relationship but make none of the sacrifices. This is unfair to men. So speaking as a man, in general relationships aren't worth it.

Fireguy17 · Answer

don't be in a rush or feel bad because you are not ready.
it will happen with the right person if and when the time is right.
You can be perfectly happy and be single, which is way better than being stuck with the wrong person just to be married to someone.

sawno · Answer

Depends on the person, for me its 100% worth it and I have always been the one who desired to settle down. I don't need to have sex with a variety of women, I value the deepest lasting connection I could possibly have.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I still believe.. I won't give in to this nihilistic, pessimistic view of the world and relationships.. With that being said.. It's fine.. Just make sure not strong along anybody who would want that..

lightbulb27 · Answer

Rethink it as its your person to love. Its good… its work at times and sometimes is hard.  If you want easy then stay single. But that isn't easy either at times.

TaureanBull81 · Answer

Not right now for me in this current dating climate in Sydney, Australia 🇦🇺

You're hard pressed to find a genuine partner who will remain loyal and committed these days so I'm not interested settling down.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If it scares you, that suggests you have much deeper issues to deal with. Perhaps you need therapy.

LazerBean · Answer

It is for some people, but not for all people or even many people. Probably would not be worth it for you.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I would love to do some, except I do not rust the third party to the marriage agreement - the state. I do not see the rules that they have made as being equitable.

Crankor · Answer

The idea of it yes but the reality or how messed up people's expectations amd lack of commitment are Def makes it lack in desire

laly520 · Answer

yes but only if the person is the right one for you otherwise its a waste of time

HighlyQuestionable · Answer

I am in my forties and have never found anyone.  Read the above.

dudeinohio · Answer

You are still young. When you are older... and ready, your perspective may change.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It's only worth it if it's with the right person. That's why you should be very, very, careful.

Reemaa · Answer

Depends on how much you love them

Booklover_90 · Answer

Well, don’t. Marriage isn’t for everyone.

HaveNoName · Answer

It depends what your alternative is.

serious_miss419 · Answer

Marriage is an institution

strateguy632 · Answer

,1st

Anonymous · Answer

no. .

DreamLife7 · Answer

Then don't

Do you think that finding someone to settle down with is worth it?

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