I see a phenomenon where women in their youth often exhibit arrogance and feeling like they can do whatever they want. Any judgement or opposition is quickly shut down with counter shaming, witty retort and all in all women basically go through life at this stage without ever thinking about how their current lifestyle, behavior towards people and actions will affect them in the future. Now some men are like this too but overall men tend to think long term while women tend to think short term and live their life on a day to day basis. One good example of this Bree Olsen who now after hitting the wall now tearfully wants to talk about how people judge her harshly, how hard life is with her reputation after she is old news and men no longer want to cater to her.
Many women will treat a man like shit in her youth or asexually and even reject his advances in favor of going with a male that seen as high status in the current environment she is in and who her friends will approve of. And despite what female gagers say, plenty women do message men they thought were beneath them later in life thinking being nice to them now and putting on a little bit of flirtyness would make bye gone be bye gone. When said guy doesn't want them they get flabbergasted as to why he is acting like that towards her, as if she has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve this treatment and the man is being an asshole for acting this way. In other instances women squander their youth chasing a dream thinking they have all the time in the world to get a mate. Some waste it clubbing every week, chasing pretty boys and rich men to commit, others on their education, and then they reach an age where they want to settle down and have trouble finding a man. Overall, women do not seem to think long term. Whatever is most appealing to them now they'll take it. It's like if someone offered you 2 million dollars now or wait 5 year and get 50 million. Most women will take the 2 million.
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Another instance of women not thinking about consequences is when we look at the statistics that 70% of divorces are initiated by women resulting in the destruction of the family unit. And most common reason for divorce is "irreconcilable differences" which just means i'm too lazy to fix my own marriage and want out.
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+1 y
Whether due to poor use of protection, choice in men or actual willingness rise in single mothers causing economic burden on everyone via taxes and possible negative effect on society on the not too distant future.
Why do women not think about the consequences of their actions?
Because I'm out current society no one makes them. They are told to do what they want when they want without fear of consequences. When there are consequences society is quick to make excuses for them. Is she promiscuis? The past doesn't matter and your not allowed to judge her on her actions (ironic because you absolutely will be) if she chooses to have unprotected sex and something happens it's his fault and he needs to take responsibility for his actions (which is true he does, the problem is where society leaves out the "and so should she".) It's her body and therefore her choice to abort, it's his money and he should pay if he didn't want to pay child support he shouldn't have had a kid (again quite true but the issue is she is not held equally culpable for HER actions as he is). In short women are this way because they are allowed to be by men who baby then and women who either think like them or refuse to call them out on there behavior. This has nothing to do with some inherint glad I'm women but rather society. We are built to cater to women since they were more vital to reproduction then men are however society has always kept the negative traits of women in check until recently when feminist came in and called this restraint "oppression"(ironic since this restraint was implemented by men and women for the benefit of women). Now if society did the same thing for men you would see a different but equally disposable breakdown but the fact is since men are disposable they have never been catered to like women which is why you will likely never see this happen with men at least on any significant scale. The other issue I will point out is that men are to blame as well for allowing it, you'll see them talk about women being slurs but then actively seek out these same women because they want easy sex instead of waiting for a woman who doesn't want to give it away to just any one or the men who knock a girl up with no intention of sticking around he is as short sighted and impulsive as she is and if we condemn her for it then we must in turn condemn him for it. The ones who exploit injustices and wrongs are as guilty as those who commit them because they are clearly condoning the action.
"The question runs, not how one can acquire life, but how one can squander, enjoy it; or, not how one is to produce the true self in himself, but how one is to dissolve himself, to live himself out." - Max Stirner, the Ego and its Own theanarchistlibrary.org/.../max-stirner-the-ego-and-his-own
" The less you eat, drink and buy books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public house; the less you think, love, theorise, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you save – the greater becomes your treasure which neither moths nor rust will devour – your capital. The less you are, the less you express your own life, the more you have, i. e., the greater is your alienated life, the greater is the store of your estranged being." - Karl Marx, Economic and Philosophical Manuscripts of 1844 www.marxists.org/.../needs.htm
What's wrong with spending time on an education? In today's society, pretty much everyone has to work. Unless you are lucky enough to win the lottery or come from a rich family. So what is the problem with trying to attain some goals?
I would say a woman pursuing an education is in fact thinking long-term. She is working hard to get a good job later and make a stable life for herself. Some people simply do not find a life partner to share their life with. So I would think that is being pretty smart trying to fend for themselves.
I think this question is a HUGE generalization. There are some men out there who do not think long term also.
Except a lot of them choose pointless majors like women's studies or sociology which just put them in debt in the long run, even if they go to graduate school.
@JRICHARDS1996 Not everyone though. I pursued business in school and was able to get a job. Lots of people take different things. There were lots of women in my class.
@JRICHARDS1996 I know many people who have debt from higher education from taking majors in different area like business, education, medical field, science etc.
"Some waste it clubbing every week, chasing pretty boys and rich men to commit, others on their education, and then they reach an age where they want to settle down and have trouble finding a man." So... Spending a few years seeking education instead of "finding a man" is considered a wasted life? As for those women who treat people badly when they're young then try to talk to them again later. I personnaly am thankful I was never like that (and I know I'm not the only one). So, it's not really a "women" thing as much as it's a "bitch" thing.
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+1 y
Many women make their primary focus on education and their career. They then believe that by doing this they become even more valuable to men in attraction because women think men value what women value.
A harvard graduate women actually wrote an article encouraging, young women to look for their mate in college rather than putting it off for when they are 30. Women need to realize a a large bit of their stock in SMV (sexual market value) and in the RMV (relationship market value) is tied to her age. Not the amount of degrees she got, money she makes, or how nice her car and place is.
And for a lot of women they'll complain about men their tier not going for them in favor for younger women and the lack of men willing to commit due ot hypergamy and women rarely dating down when it comes to wealth.
So what is being discuss here is if you want a man, kids and the whole white picket fence then you need to actively look for it while getting an education/career. Not shaft it away for your 30's and 40's like so many feminist generation women do and now complain about the lack of men.
A perfect example of this was a woman i met from New york who is a doctor. Focused her time on education and her job and now makes 100k/year but she now complains about her dating options. She doesn't want to date men who make less than her (female hypergamy) and now is frustrated that men her economic bracket are dating younger women (she's 29 last time i check).
She ask for advice and what kept coming back was for her to give men who made less than her a chance and she didn't like that advice. Point being do not push things off for your 30's. Men and women are different and women have a smaller window.
Wow! Some people do think they're the center of the universe! women DO NOT focus on education just because they think it'll make them more valuable to men! (it's actually quite the opposite). That's basically saying that everything women do evolves around men... Women study, and work because that's what it takes to survive in the modern world. (instead of sitting around and depending on some guy to support them). How is that considered "not thinking long term"? and yes, older women do have more difficulties finding partners, but that's not necessarily their fault, it's just a social aspect. It certainly doesn't mean they didn't make the right decisions in their life, or didn't "think long term" enough...
Well this is not thinking their the center of the universe but observing behavior and women's action. Going back to my example. The 29 yr old doctor who focused on her career and education and didn't bother dating because she was fed a lie by the media and feminist that 30's in the new 20, and sex and city lifestyle that she'll be desirable to men at all age.
So what's being discuss here isn't men thinking women are getting an education/career for them. This is false logic on your part. It's when women perceive that they should be more valuable to a younger woman (who has less of this) and a better picking (as evident by their frustration and confusion) for a mate by high status males but end up getting shafted for younger women.
The evidence is all right there that they are projecting their value system of what they think is attractive to men as male preference for attraction which is a false belief.
To address your second point about not "thinking long term" can apply to different aspects of life. When it come to focus on education/career to get a better life for yourself in terms of income, housing etc then yes it's thinking long term. However, when it comes to your love life then it's not thinking long term. In short, you though long term for one aspect while not thinking long term in terms of the other. Everything has a benefit/loss to it.
"older women do have more difficulties finding partners, but that's not necessarily their fault, it's just a social aspect. It certainly doesn't mean they didn't make the right decisions in their life, or didn't "think long term" enough..."
It's not just a social aspect but ingrain biology. Male/female relationship is heavily tied to children. Men want women who are able to produce healthy, young children. A women by her 30 mark has lost 90% of all her eggs.
*So what's being discuss here isn't men thinking women are getting an education/career for them. This is false logic on your part. It's when women perceive that they should be more valuable than a younger woman (who has less of this) and a better picking (as evident by their frustration and confusion) for a mate for a high status male but end up getting shafted for younger women.
Wrong again, Women don't get education so they could be more valuable than younger ones.. they just get education to have good jobs/ easier life. There are really no hidden motives about it. "However, when it comes to your love life then it's not thinking long term. In short, you though long term for one aspect while not thinking long term in terms of the other. Everything has a benefit/loss to it." I happen to agree with this.. Women shouldn't automatically reject guys while being in college and think that there's plenty of time to be in a relationship later.. because, yes that's won't necessarily be true, and also, they should give guys a chance and see where it takes them. However, most women who do focus entirely on their education/job are the ones who dream of building a career. (so again, not a short term decision, just a different decision than the traditionnal one). What you seem to be doing is dividing women in two categories , man, kids and the whole white picket fence
And nothing else, or those who want a career and are complete feminists who don't care about women (then later regret it lol) .. and while these two categories do eist, there are also women who want the whole thing (whish isn't too mush asking, but demands more time, efforts and sacrifices), you're 29 y/o friens IS being unreasonable by rejecting all those who make ess money than her (especially giving the fact she makes more than lots of guys)... But that doesn't mean she was wong when she made the decision to persue her dream and build a career for herself.. she now is a successful, independent woman, and if/when she meets someone right for her, she will be a fully staisfied person. (not because that's what every woman should do, there's no manuel on how to live life, but mainly because she apparently has an ambitious personnality)
I'm kind of bored of this. This back and forth is pointless and i've been in enough debates with women to know that you guys generally don't change your stance no matter how logical the other person's opposing point is.
All I'm saying is that, just because some women make the decision to not follow the traditionnal path of : man, marriage, kids and the lot in there early 20"s doesn't make them man hater feminists, nor does it mean they're some air heads who don't make long-term decisions. Is all.
Well, this is a really cynical opinion. Get out of your basement and maybe you'll find a good girl. As a hardworking girl, I am attracted to people who also work hard. It's ambition. It's not about his wallet, it's a character trait of grit and determination. It's going places. Why not go together? I want full financial autonomy before I marry and have already begun putting savings in a Roth account. Seriously, there is no reason to condemn people with such an article.
If you do porn, obviously that's damaging to one's psyche after a while. Not taking care of your sexual health, and chasing after the wrong men is a terrible waste. But why are you making this about ALL women? I think about the consequences of my actions a lot. It's about choosing the difficult right over the easy wrong. Yes, I barely get laid as a result. Ever. I don't go on fancy vacations, or blow my paychecks on bottle service. But it's worth it... it's a matter of cultivated self-control
To add onto this, I have thought about the long term. I want to be at peace with life and secure, and to have cultivated an interesting and meaningful twentysomething experience. But If I'm not married by 28, I'm freezing my eggs. End of discussion haha
Oh godd how much more pathetic can you get. wrote a whole take anonymously just to blame your shitty love life on women. i am not surprised one bit that you can't get a girl. this is the most ironic (and idiotic but it would take yearss for you to finally process just how ridiculous and sad you sound) thing that i have ever read. its been proven time after that time women develop faster mentally, which is why we actually DO think about our long term goals and our futures way before men even start considering the consequences of their actions. do you live under a rock or something? this is some basic common knowledge that even little kids can tell you. complaining that women have fun and get an education instead of dating losers like you, what a joke.
so exactly what is your expectation? by long term, do you mean she should think about settling down with the right guy who will take care of her while she has his babies? that's funny. because what happens to the woman when she has about to 4 kids, with the right guy, and a younger piece of @ss comes along? oops. it's out on the street with you honey cause i gotta chase this young chick. and don't tell me it doesn't happen, because it does. if a woman has her hair on, she will invest in education. because you don't ever trust anybody to take care of you.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
How is education a waste of time? Why is finding a man perceived as the ultimate goal for women? Maybe if some women and girls didn't waste their time chasing after guys who claim to be "good guys" they could focus on their education. I'm sorry to break the news to you, but finding a guy is not every girl's top priority. Some girls don't think about the consequences or their actions but some guys don't either. Women are not stupid creatures who are dependent on a mate. If we wanna go out partying we will, if we wanna focus on education we will. Everyone makes their own decisions, male or female.
The reason that "irreconcilable differences" is cited as the reason for 70% of all divorces (and I have not fact-checked that statement) is that state law specifies the allowable grounds for a divorce which must be stated i the petition for divorce. The most common and all inclusive grounds allowable under most state laws is "irreconcilable differences." I have filed divorce petitions citing "irreconcilable differences" in marriages where one partner was alcoholic or drug addicted, physically violent, or had abandoned the marriage.
Yes but it must also be noted that those same accusations are made to get child custody/child support and therefore makes it difficult to discern the validity of such claims (frequently used tactic to destroy the other persons reputation either as revenge or to get custody/resources) of we go by statistics for instance women are more likely to be abusive towards their spouse and children then men are so more men should be divorcing on those grounds (which if a woman is filing for divorce that is a legitament grounds for it she would not have to file irreconcilable differences of that is the case) meanwhile men are more likely to fall to substance abuse etc. But again most of those are a reason for divorce and would not need to be filed as irreconcilable differences.
@hellionthesage You clearly do not understand what I am saying and this not the place for a lesson on pleading in state courts on statutory causes of action. I have been practicing law since 1986 and, if a petition for divorce says "irreconcilable differences," the problem could be alcohol or drugs, infidelity, physical violence, abandonment, or I'm too lazy to work on our problems.
So violence or infidelity are not grounds for a divorce? 12% of all divorces are filed by men due to there wives infidelity (that's 60% of all male initiated divorces) so I find it off that you would stare that irreconcilable differences would be used as an umbrella term. Why would they use that instead of the actual reason why? Is due to lack of evidence is it easier what would be the reason?
@hellionthesage Divorce petitions are prepared by attorneys. There are forms which are deemed satisfactory by the courts and if you follow hose forms, your petition will not be dismissed. Those petitions simply use generic, umbrella-type allegations. Making specific allegations in a petition is not necessary; if a case proceeds to trial, you can still prove that he is an alcoholic, abusive, was unfaithful, etc. Divorce petitions are public records and there is no benefit in stating in a petition that the Husband has had numerous affairs when you know his children might read that document. An employer could read the document and fire the Husband; now he has no job and no income fro which he can pay child support. There are other reasons and I won't list them. Take my word on this: YOU ARE BEATING A DEAD HORSE!
I'm just trying to understand. It seems really unlikely that even though 80% of all divorces are filed by women that it is almost always a legitament reason but that don't site the reason but men who file for divorce less frequently do site there reason significantly more. It seems really one sided and doesn't make a lot of sense especially when it's presumed that all these men are to blame not women. Anything that comes off that one sided is always to be questioned in my opinion. I simply trying to figure out if there was a legitament reason for it or if there where other issues.
Differs by state I believe north Dakota was 92% while other states it's 60 some percent. I do believe the average (in the U. S.) is 80% however. Just checked I got 69% and 80% dependent on the source. Not sure which is accurate if either (I'm using my phone which I am not use to it makes things a bit more difficult) have to check when I get my computer back (methodology dictates validity). I'm leaning more towards the 70% because it seems to occur more then the 80% in legitament media (though how often they are caught lying that's not that reliable)
I personally don't find myself to fit in any of the description you just said... I have never been that shallow of a person, nor have I ever gone through any of these phases... The only thing I am perhaps guilty of is persuing education, but that will not stop me from having a realtionship if I found a suitable guy. What you are describing can't be general. I believe all of this depends on: 1) The culture itself 2) How one is raised at home 3) The girl's personality Perhaps most woman you have met or seen are like that, but that really doesn't mean all women are the same. No matter how many women you have met in your lifetime, it isn't even possible for you to say that you have met or seen more than maximus 20% of the women in the world (that's even a very impossibly high percentage but let's say you did, it still isn't enough to judge all.) I hope one day you meet that dime that is going to shift your belief about the whole women population. Best of luck mate!
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I thought the stereotype was the opposite. A lot of guys just want hookups and don't care about long term relationships. I don't think it's a gender thing though. I think young people these days in general see their 20s as a last hoorah to be crazy, then think you should get serious and marry by 30. I don't see the appeal in the partying lifestyle though. Im loyal and don't waste my time on someone unless I see long term potential. I'm not desperate though. I like being a lazy potato, treasure my alone time, and like being a nerd at college.
It sounds like you have bitterness towards girls though. stop chasing the club going girls. people don't meet wives there. lol
I think part of that is that society allows them to do that we have a tendency to shield women for the consequences of there actions something we never do for men.
Or don't think their actions have consequences, that doesn't make sense to me.
We're told from birth to watch everything we do because our actions, many times, have more repercussions than men.
Casual sex? Sure we both can get STDs but I'll be the one who has to worry about pregnancy and raising the child if he decides to bail. Choosing to work and get your career instead of dating? Men on this site constantly remind me how this is a bad idea because once I hit 30, I'll "expire" and men won't want me anymore. While men become "more desirable". Partying? Heaven forbid I accept a drink because he'll assume it's a yes or he may have roofied it.
I'm sure men have their own situations where the consequences are heavier on them. But that's not to say we're just careless and aloof.
I think all young people, regardless of gender, go through an arrogant phase like what you described. Some grow out of it and become adults, but others never grow up (-:
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Another butt hurt man making shit to justify his short comings, lol.
FYI, men are far more impulse than women and do way more stupid shit in their youth and early adulthood.
But again, what do u know, I just wasted my life getting a PhD and a high-paying job. Right?
"Many women will treat a man like shit in her youth or asexually and even reject his advances in favor of going with a male that seen as high status in the current environment..."
My apologies
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Asker
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Well it's the truth. Here was an opinion taken from a male gager about his lfie:
"Before I turned thirty and my career was about to really take off and investments were ready to be cashed in my ex dumped for a more "successful" guy who was really all flash, three years later he's bankrupt and has ran up her credit cards leaving her with forty thousand in debt. Meanwhile she's back home and im married to her younger hotter 22year old sister living in the dream house I just built and money in thr bank. She recently flipped at her sister and I at a family get together which was quite satisfying."
Women are born knowing all actions have consequencea aince we you know get pregnant. men on the other are biologically incappable of getting pregnant so you don't have risk factors. More men do dumb shit that gets them killed, the cheat more based on their formonea.. you guys are more illogical than you think
Because women tend to be more powerful in their youth when they look better. When they hit older age, they become weaker. Us men who were treated like shit by those chicks, we have to fight through the pain of being rejected and work hard and then maybe we'll find better women.
See the way that the nerd is clenching his money, he's trying to protect his economic resources from triflers like her. These women didn't have my back when I was young and they'll never have it.
Exactly if women wouldn't date when you had nothing then they never wanted you in the first place... all I got to say is when you do become successful just use these post wall sluts as pump and dumps because that's all they worth
Men nurture their careers, kids, stocks, social media accounts and everything else. Yet, when their wife asks for a divorce he is 😲. What happened? I'm planning our future, I'm establishing myself... Etc. A woman seeks attention and affection for a long time before divorce almost to the point of begging. Men fail to realize women need constant love and affection and if someone or something else is receiving that more than her. Your slowly losing her. Woman want to continue to be loved and adored. What if she was the girl who loved you when your shoes were ran over, and bought you new ones. Now years later you won't even acknowledge your wife on social media. Thousands invested in stock, but she never got a real ring. When she finally stops arguing yeah she's done.
I've never thought like this, because all Ii every worry about are the consequences of my actions. I tend to be a buzz kill to most people my age, because I think about how that one bad grade will affect me, or how I may have fucked up when talking to someone earlier that day. I'm full of worries all the time, so I never really do anything "out of line", even though if I did the things I wanted to I'd be a much different (meaner) person
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