Would you have married in the old style of marriage?

[sawno]

These days I know there is a popular sentiment that men should not marry, after all they hear countless stories where courts rule completely in the woman's favor and she can leave at any time for any reason leaving him vulnerable for the entire marriage.

To those of you who no longer wish to marry because of those stories, what would you do in the old system where you are not allowed to divorce unless there is a proven fault in the relationship? A system where is hard to leave for both since its designed to enforce commitment, and where the court would rule against the one who was at fault so it ensures neither casually leaves.

In which system would you marry?

I would only marry in the modern system.

I would only marry in the old system.

I value marriage, so I'd do it in either one.

I would not marry in either system / I am against marriage as a concept.

Updates

2 mo

Status update so far, only girls exclusively wish to marry in the current system (To me this confirms the power imbalance). Only men would want to marry in the old system, so girls value being able to leave at will. Only 25% is willing to marry regardless of the system, countered by the 25% does not want to marry at all.

That does raise the question, what system would both genders be universally fine with?

[HawkPerception]

I've always wanted to propose and marry. I've envisioned it for a long time since around 16 years old. It's nice to be able to remember the time where you proposed to your partner and be able to potentially rewatch that moment a ton of times in your life. And the same goes for a wedding. It's a beautiful concept to have all of your loved ones come and celebrate the bonding of you and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and remember it as an incredible occasion.

The only thing is, I would make sure they sign a prenup contract and that would be non-negotiable. Nowadays, where divorce rates are at an all time high, and a lot of men are saying marriage is a trap, it's logical to protect yourself. It's not about setting yourself up for failure. It's just about preventing unfair scenarios from taking place in the future. Change is inevitable and if you're making a boat, you should make it as adaptable as possible, otherwise it'll sink.

[sawno]

Prenubs are definitely the way to go in modern times, in my country you don't need them as badly. The law changed here to where common goods are no longer assumed.

[HawkPerception]

What country do you live in? They're clearly living ahead of the times

[sawno]

Netherlands, usually has been ahead on issues like this.

[HawkPerception]

I'm actually jealous. Netherlands is one of the places I have on places I want to live.

[sawno]

We ran out of houses, 3% chance of finding one single.

[HawkPerception]

Here in Ontario, Canada, we also have a housing crisis, our economy is shit, and Trudeau (our PM) keep sending money to Ukraine, bringing in more immigrants, and spending money to support LGBT. I'd take your place any day.

[sawno]

Our countries have a lot in common, inf act your country is used as a proxy to undermine our constitution. They made certain social issues part of our trade deal (Such as the LGBT thing) so it has to be executed by both. The ukraine thing happens here to, they let more migrants in than they can build houses (Which causes the infinite waiting list and half a million dollar terraced houses)

We are very much brother folk with similar cultures and political climates for better and for worse.

[HawkPerception]

Informative and well said 👍🏼💯

[HawkPerception]

Only thing I'd add is I've seen beautiful scenic pictures of Netherlands. And I think I prefer the architecture there as well. And they're clearly ahead in terms of common law. I'd still love to visit

[sawno]

Ill share this for you but watch at your own risk, has a high risk of causing infrastructure jelousy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8RRE2rDw4k

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I might do either one but here in Japan, there is no alimony/spousal support or no-fault divorce. Getting divorced is generally very difficult and disadvantageous to both parties involved. Might explain why we have such low divorce rates.

I prefer it this way but I might still be inclined towards marriage in modern systems if we have plans to have children. The main reason I married my wife is that I thought it's the best thing to do for our future children. It wasn't about what's best for us, it was about what's best for them.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I figure if we ask any children out there who were born out of wedlock to unmarried parents and asked them if they wished their parents were married, the vast majority would say "yes". That was the deciding factor to me to marry my wife. I wanted to do what would be best for our kids.

[LaurenM1997]

I don’t need a marriage certificate to prove to someone that I love them it’s utter nonsense

[Anonymous]

Only in the old system. My current girlfriend is mad at me right now because I told her I wouldn't marry her (so much for women that say they just want honesty😆). But WHY made her even more angry. I told her she was too big of a risk. I told her 30 years. Ago it would have been a possibility. But now I have far too many assets and she's too big a a risk. She got mad and I told her she's taking it too personal. That it's just business. You can talk prenuptial, but reality is no prenuptial is full proof. I told her I don't like it anymore than she does. But this is just reality. If she wanted to marry she should have met and wanted to marry me 30 years. ago. Nothing we can do about it now.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. The current system encourages women to divorce with financial incentives in a consequence free environment. Too many men did everything they should have as husband and father to be betrayed and now some other guy is banging their wife, sleeping in their bed, sitting in their house m, raising their kid's.

[sawno]

So you would have married under the old system?

[tremendousfern]

The poll proves a point that is brought up time and again. Women are by nature disloyal and hypergamous. They want no-fault divorce because they want to be able to pick and choose with no commitment on their part at all.

For a woman, having to provide a reason for a fault in a relationship is an unbearable burden because they aren't capable of critical thought and are governed by their emotions.

[CozyCoffin]

Yes, I would exchange a bunch of farm animals for her hand.

[CozyCoffin]

To be serious, I've wanted to marry for nearly twenty years. To have a love similar to Karl and Ellie of Up.

[sawno]

Either system I take it?

[CozyCoffin]

No fault shouldn't exist. I would take the old system where you are not allowed to divorce unless there is a proven fault in the relationship. A system where is hard to leave for both since its designed to enforce commitment, and where the court would rule against the one who was at fault so it ensures neither casually leaves.

[Dennisjf12]

Please if I can get all of you girls/women to do two things learn some form of self-defense & if you're in a nightclub or a bar always keep your drink covered with your napkin, I read in a magazine one time about 300, collages age girl that had been drugged. So please protect yourself

[Anonymous]

Marriage is being undermined by pretty much every institution at the moment. Even if it was the right decision in the first and by the right couple.

They say no fault divorce has not helped, and then there's alimony and the government to ensure her income stream without him.

And none of that benefits the kids.

[LiamJHayden]

If you mean under "At-Fault" that is the only way I'd consider marriage.

[sawno]

I mean at-fault and with the court ruling culture of the same time period.

[NathanDavis]

do you mean... pillaging and burning down a village to ashes?

that seems like a bit too much...

[sawno]

I don't think they were pillaging and burning down villages in the 50's and 60's xD
No fault divorce got introduced in 1969.

[NathanDavis]

funny when people think the old times were just 70 years ago... lol

with all these cultures that have been around for 7000 years or so

[JacobJordan]

I am married to a woman who respects what a marriage is. Divorce shouldn't even exist.

[Anonymous]

I voted B because modern marriage benefits women far more than men. It's the only acceptable scenario in which it makes sense for men to take on the risks and hazards of marriage today.

[strateguy632]

..4th