Aren't weddings actually narcissistic since you're making it all about you?

Question

Its like the man and woman make it all about themselves getting married. And hardly any of their guests get any attention at all. In fact even the semi big weddings the bride and groom would hardly know if you even attended their wedding or not. Eww look at that... how gross.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Everything that you do that brings attention to yourself is not narcissism. You are using an overly simplistic definition of the word. If you get injured and go to an emergency room, you are bringing attention to yourself; is that narcissistic?

A wedding is about celebrating your love with the people who are closest to you. A good bride and groom never forget that they are hosts at a magnificent feast. When I got married a few months ago, we made great efforts to ensure that our guests would feel welcomed.

a. The date and time were selected to make the event most convenient for our guests.

b. Guests received invitations about ten weeks before the wedding, so they had plenty of time to plan to attend.

c. I paid for the tuxes for my best man and my bride's son. My bride paid for the dress worn by her matron of honor.

d. We reserved a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests and we stayed in the same hotel so that they would not feel lost or isolated.

e. We selected music for the wedding that would have a broad appeal.

f. We has a string quartet at the wedding to give the guests a different experience.

g. We prepared a wedding bulletin that had the entire ceremony presented word-for-word, notes to explain parts of the wedding ceremony and the music being performed, and the lyrics for every song.

h. I was in the church lobby greeting guests as they arrived.

i. We chose a reception venue that allowed cars to pull up to the front door so that guests did not need to climb any steps to get in to the reception.

j. We had an hour of hors d'oeuvres and live acoustic music for entertainment while the guests waited for us to arrive at the reception.

k. We both entered the reception wearing Groucho Marx glasses and gave everyone a very long belly laugh!

l. We started dinner soon after our arrival because the guests had been waiting long enough.

m. The dinner had a choice of broiled salmon or prime rib.

n. Immediately after dinner, my bride and I started visiting each table and greeting our guests.

o. We had the best wedding band in town playing after dinner.

p. We stayed in the same hotel on our wedding night and took all of the out-of-town guests out for breakfast the next morning.

These are just a few of the things that we did to make the wedding fun and memorable for our guests. Yes, the wedding was about US because WE were the ones getting married, but the comfort of our guests was very important to us.

Your assumption that weddings are selfish and the couple doesn't care about their guests is totally unfounded. Maybe SOME people - particularly very young couples - might have a selfish attitude, and especially those have "destination" weddings. But many people are more thoughtful that you expect. Perhaps you are just projecting.

Sevenpointfive · Accepted Answer

i agree. it's probably worse than you know for some cultures, but it's a party and there's booze sometimes (unless you have to pay). in my culture there's a dance that's at the weddings. the bride is paid by anyone to dance with her at the wedding. i think the groom does one too for the ladies. it's just a sleazy way to make a little extra cash for the honeymoon.

had i gotten married, i would've had all sorts of games for the people attending because we all know that they don't really give a shit if you're getting married or not. it's all about the party and free shit.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

Research shows the more you spend on your wedding, the higher the chances of divorce and the shorter the duration of the marriage.

The ones who had successful and enduring marriages usually barely had a wedding celebration.

I've read about people who invited 16 guests to a restaurant and that was their entire wedding reception.

The justice of the peace that ordained their marriage was a legal matter that was done before the 16 person wedding dinner event.

thatshydork · Accepted Answer

There’s a difference between narcissism and having an important time in your life be about you and the one you love.

Gwendoline · Answer

The idea of a wedding is that family, friends and God bear witness to that union of two people binding themselves to each other for their entire lives to each other and seeking to start their own family and to celebrate it.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is THEIR wedding. Of course, it has to be about them.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Everyone has narcissistic traits. We need to stop treating these things that are apart of us all as bad.

Anonymous · Answer

"Narcissistic" is a psychiatric diagnosis, so I don't think it applies to brides planning their own weddings.

coxoabean · Answer

No ofc not lol! It's a special day to celebrate them!

Apple1996 · Answer

Weddings are just overall dumb

Yamaal · Answer

I think a wedding is necessary. I want a wedding, but not a grand one, I would like it to be just between the family and often.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, in a way not to sure?

Staximus · Answer

Weddings have always been all about the woman and man getting married. I don't know what planet you're living on but welcome to earth.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Why do you care?

HelpfulWoman · Answer

lmao depends on each couple.

NathanDavis · Answer

no, that's not how it works

Anonymous · Answer

yes, that's where bridezillas are born

Aren't weddings actually narcissistic since you're making it all about you?

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Yes, in a way not to sure?

Aren't weddings actually narcissistic since you're making it all about you?

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Yes, in a way not to sure?

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