A woman that refuses to soly take on her husband's last name should automatically disqualify her from becoming his wife, agree or disagree?

Question

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

You know, there are traditions that might have outlived their usefulness. Who takes what last name might fall into that category. There's only ONE issue about a couple having different last names: How do you name the child or children.

Hyphenation doesn't work because extra-long names have the primary name dropped all the time. If I'm Haden-Smith, I'll be known as Smith. There's no way to make dual names equal.

So, if a couple can work it out, they can decide to give kids middle names that are their last names or some such thing.

But, there's no insult in a married woman not taking her husband's family name. She's spent her whole life with her family's name. Why give it up just for a tradition. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. So you keep the name of the man you've left? And what if you're old enough to have established credit in your own name?

These are all issues that have to be weighed in the harsh light of reality. It might be romantic to change your name, but is it practical? Let the partners who are being married decide. There's no one size fits all.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

If the man cares about that, then yes. Some men don't care though. And if the man has an ugly last name, then I can't really blame a woman for not wanting it. I know someone with the last name Grosscough once, and there was someone on the radio a long time ago with Butts as his last name.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

It all depends on  why  she doesn’t want to take his last name.  Female celebrities usually don’t change their last names when they get married. Reason being it can impact their likeness and their careers. But if she doesn’t want to change her last name for the sake of being a “modern feminist” or some other crap that’s a different story. Obviously the guy should of seen this coming prior to him proposing to her.  But she better have a sit down and an honest talk about exactly why she doesn’t want to change her last name. He might be okay with it (and some guys really don’t care) however she better carefully explain to him why wants to keep her last name. If she doesn’t then that a huge sign of disrespect to him. It’s a bad omen for the marriage.

razelove · Accepted Answer

I agree, but not if they're never planning to have kids. If they're both living that sterile lifestyle, and that's the last generation, then go wild, make your last names whatever you want, change his to yours, whatever.

Going traditional is much more so for making babies, holding family values up and all, for having a family. If you aren't going to have a family, then go to the kink club on Wednesday nights and what not.

Most guys that want kids and a family would refuse a woman that won't be a wife and mother anyway, so it's a moot point to argue over. There are plenty of guys who don't want that and will perpetuate childless women, or single moms, so there's something for everyone.

Summeroflove · Answer

No, but I will say people need to discuss things before they get to that point to know if they’re compatible for reaosns such as that everyone is different what a marriage should be is something deeper then even a last name. Though if that’s important to a man if it’s a deal breaker it is what it is.

If everything else about her is great but that’s her only complaint. It shouldn’t be a problem

AviatorTom · Answer

My wife kept her last name. Most people know her by that name.

GOLDFISH_smile · Answer

Hard disagree—I think that should be left up to the man.

My husband wanted to change his last name, and I wanted to keep mine. If he hadn't been allowed to marry me just bc I wouldn't take his last name, then he would have had to pay a lot of money to get his last name changed outside of marriage, and then he still would have just changed it to my last name and then we would allowed to be married bc I could "change" my last name to his then since they'd be the same. Lol.

Just keep it simple & let the spouses decide for themselves how they wanna do it & what disqualifies the other from being someone they wanna marry.

abc3643 · Answer

That's stupid. And, if he insists on that, he's both insecure and immature and definitely not husband material.

My wife has my last name but I didn't require her to do it. SHE is the one who wanted to do it. I would have been fine if we had different surnames.

Anonymous · Answer

there's other disqualifiers including body count and values

but yes refusing to take the husband's last name is an immediate disqualifier, even worse if she insists the kids don't take the husband's last name either

a husband who accepts his wife refusing to take his last name shouldn't complain when she cheats on him or divorce rapes him in family court

emeraldsaphire · Answer

I think this tradition made a lot more sense in the olden times, back when Men did most of the work and women generally didn't get into as many contracts. It would have been easier for the wife to change her name, but that's not true anymore. So I think it's kinda outdated now.

I don't know if I'd do it or not, but it's a personal choice and not a red flag at all.

molonski2 · Answer

There was a time I agreed , but frankly now , I couldn't care less , its different times , identity is important. So , if she wanted to take my name I'd partly reluctantly agree , if she wanted her name , no problem , hyphenated , no problem also , I really couldn't care less..

Would it be different if I were 25 ? I honestly dont think so.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Myself, I'd never give up my own family name - it partly defines me.

So why would I demand this from a ''wife''?

Where... I have no intention to get married again anyway.

And where: in other cultures people marry without pushing around names.

And where: there is no longer a point in marriage (in its original/traditional meaning) when homo's now are allowed to kidnap this idea.

Aimée__LJ · Answer

I wouldn't change my last name for my husband I would do it for my future children.

My mum didn't change her last name to my dad's last name until I was born.

I have an uncle (by marriage) who changed his last name to his mum's maiden name simply because he liked it better and his dad was an ass (to put it lightly).

DrPepper12 · Answer

Absolutely stupid misogynistic egotistical anachronistic convention.

Spouses should keep their names and there's no good reason why if they WANT TO VOLUNTARILY take names that men can't take her name.

Pick a name for the kids - his, hers, hyphen, corruption, amalgamation or out of a hat - and that's that.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Women can do whatever they want to but personally I will not marry a woman who won't take my last name.

Apple1996 · Answer

I didn't change my last name. It's too much of my identity. I'm also one of the very few people in my family left with this last name so I feel it's important just history wise to carry it until I die

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

If you live a worldly lifestyle do as you please but if your Christian then yes a woman must take her husband last name.

Loki97 · Answer

Strongly agree and it’s simp behavior to say otherwise.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Agreed. Marriage is a traditional institution. Any woman who won't take your name doesn't deserve marriage.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Disagree. What if his last name is Faartz? Jk.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow, imagine being so fragile you can't cope with your wife keeping her family name.

McLlovin · Answer

For me its a deal breaker. The only way i personally will allow her to keep her last name is if she’s a celebrity and her name literally is part of her brand

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

I would think she just isn’t actually serious about being my wife long term if she didn’t want my name.

Anonymous · Answer

For me his surname is an honour, a title a show to the rest of the world that I'm married

Potteplante · Answer

Disagree.  Ain't a custom in my culture - we still getting married.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

No.. sometimes my name is more important than his, what if he has some jackass name? lol

Drumlin2001 · Answer

It's only a name. It's an old tradition, dosent need to be followed. Much worse things women can do

Cubus · Answer

Depends, there are some cultures (especially Asian ones) where its not a custom.

Unit1 · Answer

Disagree. With the right amount of luck her last name is kick ass.

Anonymous · Answer

Uhm, it would disqualify her with me. But that's me. If a guy is OK with that kind of disrespect that's his choice.

Anonymous · Answer

No. That's incredibly anti-freedom. She should do what she wants. If a man takes issue with that then he needs to weigh whether her benefits outweigh her drawbacks and he can leave her or compromise.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Disagree WHOLEHEARTEDLY and the word is "solely," pal.

Anonymous · Answer

agree. also that picture is so cringy

butterly248 · Answer

This is 2024 lol not 1850

RedInnocent69 · Answer

An archaic practice that should be banished

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

That’s between the people getting married

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Stealing his possessions

Iron_Man · Answer

Agreed

A woman that refuses to soly take on her husband's last name should automatically disqualify her from becoming his wife, agree or disagree?

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Is it wrong for a man to have an issue if his wife doesn't want to change her last name after marriage?