Does a prenuptial agreement kill romance, or is it just smart protection?

Question

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Whenever I see people respond to this like "But it kills the romance!" I'm thinking, OK, so does signing a marriage license also kill the romance? Does asking someone about their finances and job kill the romance? Does discussing investments, assets and liabilities and making a plan kill the romance? I don't get why it's such a big deal. To me, it's a sign of communication and trust. Everything is in writing and the person was responsible enough to convey their wishes. People who won't sign a prenup, especially when there is a unequal financial situation, are not trustworthy in my opinion.

I would gladly sign one after having it reviewed by an attorney. From what I understand, a prenup can be crafted in such a way that it can expire after a certain amount of time, or it can be revoked or amended, depending on the state. It's a common sense measure to take when there are a significant amount of assets at stake or if there are children in the picture. The older a person gets, the more assets they may have and sadly, there are plenty of people who can pretend long enough to get married to someone with assets and money. One whirlwind romance later and their true nature is revealed.

Trust, but verify.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Not at all. The folks I know who are happiest and most relaxed in their marriage have one since Day 1 -- hammered out the terms during the engagement and are all happy with kids, going on 10+ years. One couple a bit longer. There's no "surprise" or drama down the line. It's nice.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Every relationship is different so people need to discuss before it gets to the point of marriage what they’re looking for.

I think it’s like insurance you’re not getting it because you plan to die, because you plan to get into a car crash, etc. But you’re getting it as insurance in case something happens.

I think some people want excuses as well I think people say say certain things are the ones probably planning on divorce later but want it to be able to favor themselves. Obviously they’re allowed to plan ahead and think of the worst possibly scenarios but guilt trip you if you are typical narcissists.

But like I said some people just aren’t compatible so people do need to discuss things before they get too deep into it where they’re planning on getting married. The same does go for the woman if she later on becomes the breadwinner and there is a divorce. Then what happens? Because I’ve seen that too. Where a woman ends up making more money. Then files for divorce and…. He gets a good chunk of pensions, retirements, and all kinds of stuff. So

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I would never ask a girl the sign a prenup , cuz I would never marry a girl I didn’t fully trust in the first place , even if I was rich , Money has nothing to do with Love whatsoever, if she is only with me cuz of money , I would see her true colors and not marry her period. I guess I am old school when it comes to relationships because I only date girls’ that want to be my team partner , a girl that works with me , not against me , so if we decide to get married , than what’s mine is hers and what’s hers is mine , Don’t marry anyway that is putting their hand out for you to take care of them period

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s a very smart protective measure. I have seen multiple scenarios in real life that encourages me to stick to my decision of having a prenup as a requirement. I’ve seen couples trust each other fully and get married and everything goes well for years, then by their 30th Anniversary, they get divorced and assets are split, the other man / woman gets property, money etc and then proceeds to run away with it. I could’ve been married today, the basic mention of a prenup made him go crazy, I was cursed at and verbally abused. And I didn’t even tell him he had to sign one, we were chatting about another couple’s situation and I mentioned how a prenup could’ve prevented such a loss. He clearly was more interested in my money than me.

I never used to be like this, I used to trust people , I used to have a more traditional mindset and think “whats mine is his, what’s his is mine,” unfortunately people are really great actors and can do anything for materialistic gain.

Yes, I’ve been single ever since. Yes, I understand that men may walk out or get turned off due to a prenup requirement but I don’t care. Forget the things I worked for , I can’t live with the idea of someone else taking things that I inherited, things that my great grandparents, grandparents and Parents sacrificed to provide for me. I won’t allow it. Prove to me that money doesn’t matter and sign the prenup. If a person is mature enough to understand the reality of the world today and understand that a prenup doesn’t equal to not being trusted, they won’t hesitate to agree to a prenup.

Cormac995 · Answer

It's smart protecting and if you're confident in the relationship why would you be concerned? The only reason a woman would have to insist against it is she wants the option to sue and if that's what she wants going into the marriage she's a shitty person for thinking that way.

Besides there are things that can happen in life that can force divorces one example is brain trauma. There are plenty of sad stories of nice and happy people having a bad knock on the head and it's like they had a personality reset and they're someone else now and there's nothing you can do to change that because it's a result of brain damage. They got from sweet and kind to bitter and nasty and then they're no longer the same person you married on a factual level. Life is chaotic unfair and unpredictable, taking precautions is smart.

Purpleronnie · Answer

It’s said that Prenups can protect us from the one track gold diggers , for those not at all pure of heart or not motivated by an emotional connection and What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with wanting the love to be real and not pretended and rehearsed for financial gain. It’s an interesting irony , the double edged sword , I’m financially secure yet I have to guard what I cannot afford to lose for love. Therefore choosing financial security over the emotional security blanket that could be provided by the pure love of another. You can marry me but you will never take my other love … my love of status and the dollar bill

Fireguy17 · Answer

For my wife and I, my 2nd, her 3rd marriage it was smart protection.

We have a large income disparity, and i really did not want to ask if you want fries with that until I'm 90.

Plus it protects her pension etc.

I dont agree with how she handles money at all, so we also keep our finances separate as well.

We both put X amount of money in a joint household account each month.

It covers the house payments, taxes, utilities etc. so all of that is covered.

She can spend her money on whatever she wants to, hence the daily parade of amazon boxes, and i can do what I want with mine, classic cars, motorcycles, drag car, and we never fight about money.

It works out for both of us.

Miristheiss · Answer

A prenup is just standard. Since the law is that courts will start taking assets from people the moment someone wants out, cheats or needs to "find themselves" only fools leave their assets unprotected from those who are paid to leave you and break up the marriage.

If someone is offended by a prenup that is proof you should dump them on the spot.

Some marriages have family-owned assets that have been with the family for generations taken and given to exes.

naartjie · Answer

Depends on the people.
My parents are HEAVILY in love and will NEVER divorce. They got a prenup 15 years ago when they got married but because they were in severe debt and of one passed away they didn’t want the other to now have all the debt.

It really works for some and not others tbh.

RageBabe · Answer

They can be, but I am in favor of prenuptial agreements for reasons that are rarely mentioned. Prenups allow each spouse to see the other at their worst. This allows each partner to say, "No, thank you," before they are married, avoiding having to say, "I want a divorce," later on.

Lliam · Answer

I think a prenuptial agreement shows selfishness and distrust. It's like planning ahead for the marriage to fail.
It's like saying "I really love you, but I don't trust you."

People who do that basically don't know how to choose the right partner.

My and my wife's assets and incomes belong to both of us. It all contributes to our life style and future retirement together. We are partners for life.

overlord337645 · Answer

i gotta say it is a red flag for me this is indirectly putting a sign on your forehead that says when i die you get money in other words your more likely to have your spouse kill you over this i dont say this is true for everyone and am not trying to be rude but its a good way to always wonder how much a person really cares about you that is if your not killed first

LiamJHayden · Answer

I personally think they should be standard, as should be DNA testing at birth.

Does it kill romance? Perhaps, but none of us knows how we will change over the course of time, and losing a long held family home to someone who hates me in decade because she had a change of mind and her attorney was crafty enough to get it declared community property due to some alleged comingling seems too steep a risk for me.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Terrible idea.  A couple, or at least the member requesting it, is anticipating problems that they can't, or more likely will  choose not to  solve or overcome. They're looking at each other as an adversary and asking for trouble.

Anonymous · Answer

no, it's definitely smart. i come from parents that went through a divorce. you definitely want a prenup. i learned from them that prenups are smart. they had one.

as for the romance thing, i don't see what having financial protection in case something were to happen a buzzkill. you don't only protect yourself, you also protect your partner. and your kids if you have any.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Not sure if it does or not.

If a man or woman is marrying a person that makes and has significantly less money and assets then I can understand why they would want a pre-nup because it's a extremely difficult to give up half of your possessions to someone who didn't sweat a drop of your efforts.

The reality is some people become difficult once they get married and people do change to someone you never thought they would.

Nothing is promised with people.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

It does kind of kill the romance because it is like why are you marring me if you don't trust me.. but if the guy has a lot of money and makes a fair prenup I wouldn't mind to sign it if I felt like getting married..

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's fair that anything you come into the marriage with, you take away again therefore I can see why prenups are a thing for those with sizeable resources.
It's not a romantic subject but very practical and you'd thank yourself later if it came to it.
I hear some guys are making good use of sheltering assets with their mother nowadays which seems even better if you need it (and your mother is young enough).

Anonymous · Answer

In general I'd say it depends on the people involved. To anyone with substantial assets I'd say it's a very good idea regardless.

A prenuptial SHOULD work for everyone. It's for her protection as much as his. And prenuptial can answer SHOULD be negotiated.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It doesn't kill romance, but it doesn't say much for the partner asking for one.

alice55 · Answer

I'm not sure how it would kill romance as if the person you marry is not planing to divorce you getting one or not shouldn't change anything to the romance.

beenherebefore · Answer

In my opinion it doesn’t. We have a pre-nup and I never had anything wrong with it. It’s been nearly three years and our relationship just keeps getting stronger.

RingOfFire · Answer

I got to tell you. I could face an enemy when we both have rifles in our hands. But I couldn't face a woman and ask her to sign a prenup before we got married.

It's one of the few things in life that would make my knees buckle.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

I don't see why it should kill romance. It's logical and can be revisited and amended should circumstances change.

molonski2 · Answer

Just sensible and an absolute requirement , nothing is going to last forever , that's for certain , so use logic.

LiamS95 · Answer

Prenuptial agreements can sometimes provide some protection depending on the situation but often they are made out of greed where the marriage is never expected to last from day one due to lack of true love.

HighValue · Answer

Prenuptial agreements are necessary because the majority of women are unfair dishonest people.

HungTexan · Answer

Depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s a good idea to avoid future problems. Shouldn’t kill romance.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I consider it smart protection especially in a time where women can freely divorce her husband and take everything from him and the husband can’t do shit about it.

UrsulaY · Answer

I would say it depends on the couple. It's smart planning to me. It rarely works out as planned and choosing to keep both of you safe is not a bad thing.

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

It's essentially insurance. Marriage is LEGALLY binding

Ariesman81 · Answer

The reaction to it is what kills the romance.

princeofromance · Answer

It is very smart to have this agreement in a marriage.

nawtee_me · Answer

Most people who are against prenups are only after what the prenup would keep them from getting.

Vick2828 · Answer

If you really love someone, you will get a prenuptial agreement. It shows that you love them and aren't there for their money.

Priya99999 · Answer

Men wanna fk their wives but women want lover make love 😂😂 hope women win

Anonymous · Answer

It’s smart if you have a lot of assets to protect

Anonymous · Answer

Prenups and paternity tests should both be compulsory. It would help stem the tide of men choosing to never get married.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

It can kill romance, but is a smart undertaking by the wealthier partner.

orange_roach · Answer

Honestly, you shouldn’t trust your partner. Always keep your guard up.

Anonymous · Answer

Prenuptial agreements are just like insurance. They don’t help you when you need it. Any prenup can be simply thrown out by a judge.

4ngelic · Answer

smart protection

AnonAndrew · Answer

Just a smart protection in my opinion.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Smart protection.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Just smart protection.

jahaims · Answer

If you don't trust them don't marry them.

Anonymous · Answer

Good idea if you have money or assets.

Twalli · Answer

It depends on the reason.

MikeTheGreek1979 · Answer

No it protect assets.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a smart protection.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Yes and yes.

Pterodon · Answer

Kills romance

Damcky · Answer

Smart

Deserter2 · Answer

She's signing it

Does a prenuptial agreement kill romance, or is it just smart protection?

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