How do arranged marriages work when there is no love or attraction?

[Anonymous]

I know very little about marriages let alone relationships
I have seen people getting married without love in my country.
And they live together like they are a family.
They pretend to be good.
Especially in arranged marriages, women have to be in gender roles for much longer than in a love marriage.
I hate it because love is basically based on attraction, and I know for a fact that half of the women who are getting married aren't attracted to them one bit.
And many of them have some shit to cover up, and the unattractive one has to deal with adultery from time to time.
And for me the time bomb has started ticking.
I don't want to marry someone who doesn't love me for sure. I have made my image in my head that I am not lovable as I have never got in a relationship even if I have actively tried to.
So now it scares me that I'll be in that sex less, useless committed relationships only to find out she is also unhappy or cheating on me.

[HollyK21]

I imagine it’s just more of a partnership than anything, and hopefully some sort of love and/or attraction developes over time.

[kissmyring]

The point of arranged marriages is that they’re business agreements. The wife agrees to take care of the husband because she’s not legally allowed to take care of herself so he takes care of her financially in turn. You don’t have to love someone to do business with them

[Asker]

I don't like those terms.
How can one agree to it.
It's better to live alone or just die, cause it doesn't give me any meaning to my own life cause it's added responsibility with nothing in return,.
Especially for women.

[kissmyring]

That’s incredibly easy for you to say, considering that in your society, dying alone is an option for you. Women don’t get that choice.

[Asker]

They do get that choice but just not mainstream because everyone gets jealous of each other.
It makes my head hurt when there is no attraction, why ruining each other's life with mental harassment.
And it's not only the partner it's more of a society issue given shit to both.

I know that I have become unlovable or ugly or a creep.
But I am getting that question about when I am getting married or getting into dating where I tried everything, and could land one date, I get ignored or just blocked without even asking someone out.
So I gave up. And the question is now just a reminder that nobody wants me.
The worst part is I don't want to ruin someone else's life or my own because I don't think I can be loved or I can love someone without attraction.

[kissmyring]

So women can live alone in their own house without their family present, unmarried, without children and be called normal in your country?

[Asker]

Ya I have met some , one is India's best photographer.

Others I don't know

[kissmyring]

You met the exception to the rule, the rule still exists

[Asker]

Hmm, it's not much but still.
I won't want to ruin it.
Maybe just marrying and just living separately.
Without medaling with one another, can have all her freedom and on paper married.

[kissmyring]

Yes, and put her house in her name

[Asker]

Yup but I won't live that long.
Everything from the start will be in her name other than my parents'home.
Under the current circumstances I dont think I might live long, its just a pain to be alive not even living

[In_Trance]

Arranged marriages are not about love and attraction. They're about protecting the families investment. That said, they work exactly the way you think they would work

[Asker]

Then for me it's better to die then get into one🙄🙄🙄