If anyone has been in an arranged marriage, how did things go? 🤔
Do you think arranged marriages work?
If anyone has been in an arranged marriage, how did things go? 🤔
I have an Indian roommate whose parents are in an arranged marriage and she told me her parents get into arguments a lot. She said because she lives in another country (we live in Canada) it’s incredibly stressful hearing about her parents fighting because when she was back in India, she was able to help them work out their issues but now she can’t and she fears her dad will leave her mom. Her mom is a housewife and has never had a job. Her dad is the one who makes all the money. But that’s also why my roommate moved to Canada. She does not want to live the traditional female Indian lifestyle and having an arranged marriage and can’t be independent. This is why I love having international roommates because you learn so much about their way of life and learn a lot. When it comes to arranged marriages I think it depends on your beliefs.
Yep sounds like that arranged marriage has a few crack
Cracks*
I actually think they probably work better than how we do relationships in the west. Getting to know someone for years and wasting your time (most of the time) only to be left with a broken heart.
Not all of arranged marriages are perfect by any means, but these days families aren't choosing random people. They're suggesting people who they think may be compatible. Or the people may meet by themselves, like each other and decide to get married after a short while of dating which is pretty much like an arranged marriage as well. Studies have shown that people in arranged marriages have longer lasting and happier marriages, are more committed and usually grow to fall in love with each other.
I think it's more of a balance between the heart and brain.
Arranged marriages can work, depending on the individuals involved, their values, and the cultural or familial context. In many cultures, arranged marriages are based on compatibility factors like shared values, social status, or religion, often with families playing a significant role in the decision. While some arranged marriages may face challenges due to the lack of pre-existing romantic connection, others thrive as partners grow together, developing love and mutual respect over time. Success depends on open communication, mutual consent, and shared commitment. As with any marriage, trust, compatibility, and effort from both partners are key to long-term success.
I haven't been in one myself, but I know of two arranged marriages of Italian couples, the marriages were decided upon in Italy when the couple was around 5 years old, his family moved to Canada shortly after and he then met his wife to be for the first time when she was 19, they got married by a justice of the peace so she could stay in Canada and lived apart until they had the big Catholic Church wedding. Amazingly it turned out to be a very happy marriage, they had two kids and have been married getting close to 50 years. The other couple were also Italians with a very similar story and outcome.
Interesting, what about yours? It fell apart?
Oh I read the beginning wrong
Opinion
26Opinion
Arranged marriages have been around for centuries. I'm sure some work, some don't work well, and some don't work at all.
I guess some people can force it to work
Force it to work? Showing just how unwilling to actually be open minded you are. You clearly have no firsthand information or even factual second-hand info about arranged marriages. You still can't even answer how they actually come about. Open minded my foot. 😆
Not salty my foot 💀
Really shows you are fully triggered when you start looking around for things to call out, really shows how desperate you were for something to reply back considering you didn't even answer on your own opinion.
Oops! Gag toggles all weird. Got me there. But triggered I was not. I wanted to find out what you actually knew about arranged marriagebwhich is zilch. All the best to you Chico.
I legit admitted to you I wasn't educated on the topic because there's none of that stuff where I'm at, which according to you it's ignorance 😂
If divorce rate is the deciding factor, statistics say they do. Also, the photo is a very incorrect portrayal of areanged marriage. The spouses do see each other and the can decline.
People who post things like this are usually very ignorant as to how an arranged marriage actually happens.
I don't support it, that doesn't work me ignorant and I didn't put a photo
What do you think happens in an arranged marriage?
They find the difficulties and have a hard time making things work
What? That makes no sense. And this doesn't happen in non arranged marriages?
It does but it's from their own choices, there's a difference between choosing and being forced
That's my. point. Arranged marriage is not forced marriage. You don't even know how an arranged marriage happens. You are ignorant about the topic.
All I know is that the person I'm talking too will be forced by her parents, if you are saying I'm misinformed then perhaps but ignorance doesn't mean what you think it means, maybe do a bit of searching on the definition of words before you start throwing words you aren't sure about cause you are making yourself look stupid.
No I don't you do. Forced marriage s one or both parties don't have a choice. This is NOT how arranged marriage works. It's not me who has to do research. Usually people who start throwing personal insults are the one's who make themselves look unintelligent. Arranged marriage is when two families come together and matchmak. The potential groom and bride can agree or not.
I don't know that's why I asked the question, and I didn't insult until you insulted me first, I wasn't being ignorant yet you said I was so I corrected you cause I took it as an insult considering I didn't say anything ignorant, I ask the question to be informed but somehow my question triggered you.
How am I triggered. You were/are ignorant about arranged marriage because you think it's the same as forced. Ignorance a state that can be remedied with knowledge and information. You said I'm making myself look stupid even though I was calmly asking you what you view as arranged marriage to help you clear up any misconception. It's clear as day who was actually yriggered in this exchange.
You were the one coming at me with the passive aggression calling me ignorant for having questions, how are people suppose to learn and understand if asking questions makes someone ignorant, and I replied by telling you to look up the definition of ignorance, I'm just asking questions with an open mind to new knowledge and information on the topic, you were the only one to take it as ignorance.
I answered your question. What are the "wrong things" that parents who help their kids get married by proposing and arrangment that the kids can acceot or refuse, are they building an unstabe foundation on. It's glaringly obvious you know little about the difference between forced and and arranged marriage. Because you are offended about this fact doesn't mean I insulted you. You are the one who resorted to playground insults calling me stupid in effect.
There is nothing open minded about your question. At all. Lol.
I didn't call you stupid, I said you're making yourself look stupid cause you are using words without knowing the proper definitions of em, well I wasn't being ignorant so it was clearly meant as an insult, either that or you are the word without knowing what it means, which one is it? And it's what I thought arranged marriages were, so you are saying that with arranged marriages if the person refuses, it won't happen? Cause I have only heard of the ones where they are arranged and the person really doesn't have a say in it but to accept it, or the person doesn't want to ruin the work of the parents so they feel forced to accept it, either ways I've never seen a couple with an arranged marriage where they said they are happily married, it's okay you are entitled to your opinions tho.
When I was working for a company when I was about 30, there were two guys who were originally from Ethiopia who worked there. Someone asked them once, that if their parents in Ethiopia arranged for them to get married, would they agree to it and go through with it. Both of them, right away without hesitation, said that yes they would. They said that "who else besides your parents would know who would be best for you"... My gosh that was surprising to hear them both say that right away.
However, I've heard of arranged marriages that didn't work at all. A friend of mine was originally from Egypt and had an arranged marriage and it was not a good marriage at all. Unfortunately though his wife was killed in a car wreck. So that was very sad.
Arranged marriages work in societies that are very very conservative. Like divorce just doesn't exist and love is a luxury.
Marriages fall apart in general because both parties don't put in the work to meet in the middle. Out of everyone I know who has gotten divorced most have involved cheating (not putting in the bare minimum), wanting excitement (not meeting in the middle both ways), or disappointment (diminishing returns on either party, sometimes drugs).
I don't know anyone who has divorced or broken up over abuse, hell, I knew one couple who stayed together because of it... Anyway, we aren't lacking in arranged marriages, we're lacking in women, and men, who will actually try to keep a relationship before going "fuck it".
It works for some but it's a very rare case, some parents are clever and ensure that the future bride and groom become friends since childhood, even if it's not 100% love, it's not is not abusive But most of the time, it is toxic since both suffer from it.
Plotting since childhood is just insane, that is some next level control freak shit right there 😂
I think they always choose someone they know but why is it this way is my question, why don't they just let their child choose, the background is probably that the parents had the same thing happen
Maybe because of inheritance and all, the parents might have made a deal with someone, like the bride's parents have good genes and the groom's rich, so the parents decided to arrange a marriage between them, so they won't be a "waste"
Gotta watch some Chinese drama about arranged marriage
If that's what it is then that is some wild shit, I didn't think it was that deep, they legit have years of planning shit 😂
The fact that they want to take control of the rest of their child life is the sick part lol
Lmao yea that's most likely the card they pull when you get angry at them for taking over the rest of your life 😂
They really shouldn't, parents gotta be a bit more aware of their manipulation tactics so they can change that lol
That's pretty messed up, although some do mess up badly so I don't know what else to say ha
I am sure arranged marriages are more successful since parents are wiser than young women that reject guys within their league to chase after Chads that are dating down for sex. I believe the parties can veto the parents choice but usually they don't because the parents know and choose the best available choices for their children.
@Ariesman81 I believe they negotiate the best deal they can get. Certainly their are mistakes and exception, but typically the parents know the league of their daughter possible husband. Parents of the girl on the right will choose an Alpha male. Parents of the girls on the left must accept a Beta male.
Which girl do think would be happiest and most fulfilled?
@Ariesman81 There are no guarantees but I would rather be the girl on the right.
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. They talk about beauty and wealth as if it were something you got pink gums from.
Moreover, those of us who are not young, rich, and beautiful are prone to say that those who are miserably. However, I would be quite willing to assume every curse of wealth and beauty if I could at the same time assume every blessing.
Damned if you do and damned if you don't eh?
They’re a bad way of selecting a partner because the person’s character becomes less important than his other attributes. Most people select based on physical appearance, status, money etc. completely disregarding what they’re really like.
Interesting point indeed
In cultures where that is the norm, they usually do work. People there are raised fully believing that parents can make good choices and they accept that the one chosen for them is the best for them. They also do not have the sexual freedoms, perversions, etc., that we in other countries see. So they go into the marriage without baggage, regrets, or interests in others. So they do work.
They certainly seem to. One thing I've discovered about love is that it's really just a question of two people meeting each other and deciding that they're going make things work.
As complicated and enormous as that can be sometimes... it's also exactly that simple.
People just deciding that they're going to make something work.
Depends largely on the families and who they choosing. Would you trust your parents to choose for you? My parents didn't choose but they put my husband and I in each other's orbit.
I wouldn't want them choosing for me tho that's the point
Given what divorce rates look like, it's tough to argue that they do any WORSE than non-arranged marriages. Also, I think we ALL know more than one friend where you could honestly say, "I think your life would be much, MUCH better if someone else made all of your dating decisions for you." Arranged marriages are basically one version of that. Personally, I wouldn't have wanted my PARENTS making the call, but I could imagine being comfortable with the right group of friends doing so.
People are very quick to jump to their own perceptional conclusion over "Arranged Marriage". They (AM) are done in various ways based on culture, family background and traditions. Yes there are extreme cases of parents forcing their vIew or decision but normally that happens in a lower educated or rural cultures. Urban edicated society is different.
/less educated/
🫣
India practices arranged marriages and they have a very low divorce rate of 7%. Most marriages throughout history were arranged, but those worked because the bride was a virgin and couldn't divorce her husband because she "got bored" and wanted Chad cock.
Horrid tradition of course. Technically, it's gambling with odds, as @12karen said.
I suppose it can work when people are living in a sufficiently brainwashed context, when people are told and see around them that arranged marriage is the norm, then it could work? But what will work exactly, companionship maybe, but love?
I can't see love happening with chains around the neck.
Arranged marriages are practically unknown in the West. But considering how high the divorce rate is in most Western countries, maybe we shouldn't be too quick to criticize.
Here in the West, everyone chooses their own spouse. It seems pretty clear that most of us choose badly.
It would be interesting to see a study that compared the success of arranged versus non-arranged marriages.
Yes.
First, it is a blind marriage, if I understand correctly, they still meet and have some say but the marriage is set up by compatibility and not just entoxicating feelings.
Also, the cultures that do this take marriage more seriously then the west where it is all selifish and about feelings and being "happy" 24/7/365.
They do what they are designed to do. I Imagine the people are not too happy.
Nope lol
Not really and they certainly wouldn’t work here in America
Nope, here in America shit is much more shallow than being forced into marriage, some do it for money 💀
It's been more successful than whatever the hell we're doing now.
I know several friends in an arranged marriage and they're all happy. When it's part of your culture it's not weird. But marriages that aren't arranged fail all the time so there's that. Plus I don't think all arranged marriages are forced.
I hear they have a good success rate but I imagine you and your betrothed need to grow up with that as an expectation beforehand.
You might argue that the way our societies which rely on dating apps is more insane then having people that know you and are invested in your success arranging something. I guess it depends if your family has better taste then you do.
Fuck no. If I'm gonna spend my time and give my body to someone, it'll because I picked them.
some of them would work, otherwise they would not be doing it for that long...
"what works" is different for everyone, of course
They work in some cultures and societies but not in others.
I think it's fine generally as it's not common in the West so the few anecdotes I've met in my life have been successful marriages.
i mean i guess they do "work" as social pressures make it impossible to separate. however whether people in it are "happy" or not is a very different question.
God I would never want that.
I can imagine anyone that would, imagine "I WiSh mY pArEnTs cHosE wHo I wIlL mArRy" 💀
I talk to a woman that will go through this pretty soon, it seems that for the most part it's about their parents image, at least for her, I hope it's not like this for all these cases, that would be sad.
Indeed, but it's soothing to the soul knowing the Abbycado got her freedom for marriage 😂💯👍🏽
Ben bu durumdayımI thought this situation only happened in Turkey. I find it ridiculous. People should decide for themselves.
Just as good if not better than. Women can't find a good man by themselves, and most marriages end because the wife cheats or gets bored with her life
Arranged marriage is very successful only in conservative and religious countries, but in USA, European and far East counties, not successful
Yes… it has for thousands of years.
Has it tho?
Modern dating is relatively new. Like over 2-3 hundred yes.
Women didn’t have any rights …they grew up and were arranged at a young age and married off around 15-17
Well now they got choice lol
They work most of the times. The spouse who tries to get out of such relationship gets beaten to a pulp usually :D
proably couldn't be any worse than the current system.
They only work if the other partner is hotter than you. If not, they end badly.
It works on con artists and criminals
What 😂
It works on garbage Indians
@Crazzyyworld what do you know you p. o. s.
at least have a real account
The stats say they do.
No. It's beyond stupid.
I don't think you know why they even exist
some are