Do you think arranged marriages are good?

[Anonymous]

Parents find families with similar family/religious values, they then arrange a date to see if they like each other and click. So they still have the choice.

I think it’s a great idea. I used to be anti it, but looking at how messed up dating is nowadays maybe this is my only hope. There’s no good women left, just women with a bad history.

They are also much more likely to last.

They’re good

They’re not

Updates

+1 y

Just think, your parents would find you someone great.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I don't think they're a horrible idea. My wife's parents were arranged in marriage, for example, and they've been married peacefully for decades now and seem quite content.

That said, arranged marriage of their sort historically in Japan was still consensual. The families arranged it but it wasn't like they were forced into marriage. There were multiple candidates from which they both chose each other among possible husbands and wives.

It's admittedly a bit extreme for my taste. I do value marriage as a union of families and communities in that traditional sense, and something I valued deeply when I married my wife (we didn't just marry each other, we united our two families into one).

Still, I don't think it's the worst idea and I still think it beats this modern Vegas-style wedding between two lovebirds who care little about uniting their two families or becoming members of a larger community. So many of those marriages seem to quickly end in divorce without the reinforcement of deep family and communal structures.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My father tried to arrange me in marriage too the same way. When I visited him in my early 20s, he had a whole slew of young women my age picked out as possible wives and introduced me to all of them. "Hey, here is a very bright woman. She works as a dentist and comes from a very respectable family and is so courteous and kind." "Here is a beautician and she always looks very beautiful. You like that, don't you? She also comes from a good family."

Like that. 😂 Actually it embarrassed back me and I knee-jerked refused his offers back then to arrange me with possible wives, but actually, reflecting back on the women he picked, they were much better than the ones I picked out in my early 20s. I mostly dated party girls who looked hot in a cocktail dress at a nightclub. At least his choices were far better than mine.

[Anonymous]

I would have agreed with you but almost every single women I've worked with that has had an arranged marriage has either hit on me, offered me their phone number at some point, dressed up to get my attention, showed attraction to me in some way, pursued me in some way or at the very least been unfaithful emotionally. If all of this has happened to me alone, who knows how often it happens overall.

In any case it has not left me with a very high opinion of arranged marriages. In every single case the women involved just pretend nothing happened and act as if what they did was not bad. In one case I was offered a phone number 3 or 4 times on different occasions. All of this happened at different jobs I've worked at.

[Jessica405]

Outdated system of marriage. Besides, marriage itself is outdated. All part of religious dogma.

Let girls find their own partners. Let them date who they want until they finfpd the right guy for them.

[Asker]

Yeah hasn’t turned out well in the west.
In the end it will just be traditional left, we’re the ones having the kids cause there is truth is religious values

[Jessica405]

Why can't the girl find someone great? No reason as far as I can see

[Asker]

When you look at the men that get all the attention from women, it’s clear women don’t value the right things.

[Asker]

It’s all looks, superficial things

[Jessica405]

If women don't value the rjght things, whe the heck are they involved in chosing a partner?

[Asker]

Because they still need to have a connection with that person and some attraction

[Jessica405]

But the mother shouldn't have anything to do with it. That's what I mean. "Women don't value the right things".

[Asker]

Omfg the mothers not dating him. Your mum would find you someone really nice, right? She will also understand what counts

[Jessica405]

Why should she understand when the girl is quite capable of making her own choices as to what matters to HER. A lot of this is all down to the notion of preserving virginity until marriage. Keeping the girl away from men until marriage.

[Jessica405]

The whole thing is based on control. The parents control the girl until marriage. Then her husband takes control.

[Asker]

Yes it’s great. I think when women have slept with others, had boyfriends she’s a bit broken. She won’t be able to form a strong connection with her spouse.

[Jessica405]

Now you really are talking rubbish. End of discussion.

[Asker]

Truth hurts. Men have always been disgusted by promiscuous women. We want exclusivity in a woman.
I’ve slept around, but that tells me I’m attractive as a man, experience is good for men

[laly520]

very outdated

mostly ends up very badly

[Asker]

Very wrong. Mostly stays together the couple

[laly520]

very true
from what im seeing across years

[RebelinSteel]

No it’s really not a great idea. We get enough news about everything from honour killings to abuse within arranged marriages

[ChicoFromThe305]

Nope, cause marrying with anything but love is building it with the wrong materials

[Blessedme]

I will get married with that method lol in 1 year or 2 from now

[Anonymous]

No not at all