How can I cope with being undesirable?

sylviaplath
I am a 25 year old woman. For as long as I can remember, I have been rejected for being ugly and/or fat. For instance, guys would tell me no one would ever like me. One even scoffed when I said someone had had a crush on me in the past. I have always been either invisible or treated with disgust, or laughed at for having a face that scrunches up into a goofball when I try to smile. You may ask, maybe you're not ugly? But I am- though people have told me I have pretty eyes, I have a huge nose, buck teeth and and a fat lower lip that makes me look sad or angry most of the time. I am so conscious of my looks that pictures and social occasions scare me to death. When I do end up getting my picture taken, I am so disgusted with myself that I delete the picture and hating myself for being so defective.

You might think I have a bad attitude. I don't blame you. But trust me when I say I have tried everything. I have tried ignoring the guys who I went out with who were disappointed when they saw me in person, and I told myself that I might have something good about myself. But I have been having the roughest period of my life, and nothing seems to work on any front. My career has not taken off, and my efforts at doing something with my passion for writing have tanked miserably. I am so tired of pulling myself up only to have something happen that pulls me down. Added to this, I come from a culture of arranged marriage, so ever since my parents started looking for grooms, nearly 15 guys rejected me after being sent my photograph. Yup, good times.

Anyway, I could go on and on before you doze off, so.. end rant.
How can I cope with being undesirable?
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