My husband took of the wedding ring when he is on business trip.

[Anonymous]

There are some strange things about this trip. We had many big arguments about this but he insisted to go. It took him 4 hours to ring me after he arrived there, when I confronted him he gave me many reasons,taxi got wrong address,forgot to put country code in my number to call me,got robbed had to go to the police...which make me very suspicious,

The other thing is he refused to take laptop with him,which he never does before..we usually talk before he going to bed ,in his bed or he even let the webcam on when he takes shower when we were far away..but this time even I asked him to take it with him,he denied and said he will use the computer at the hotel,which ended up he has to go to internet shop to talk to me.

And the last thing is he took of the necklace I gave him on his birthday with my initial name and his on it,more terribly he took off the wedding ring even though we just got married one month ago and I am 5 months pregnant now..he said he put them in a safe at the hotel together with the necklace and his wallet cos he doesn't want they rob it( place he goes to is very bad place)...so ridiculous to me,how come somebody can rob a ring on your finger.

I am very disappointed and upset about this, I have the feeling its a bad sign for our marriage. He said sorry and he will put it on but I don't feel like to hear anything from him anymore..Please advise why he did it and what should I do now?i simply can't forgive him about that because it has very deep meanig to me.

[Anonymous]

"It took him 4 hours to ring me after he arrived there, when I confronted him he gave me many reasons,taxi got wrong address,forgot to put country code in my number to call me,got robbed had to go to the police...which make me very suspicious"

That does sound suspicious, but only because of the number of things that apparently went wrong. But if he were lying, there are better and easier ones he could tell like "I'm sorry, I was so tired when I got to the hotel that I fell asleep as soon as I sat down", which is a perfectly reasonable and believable excuse.

"The other thing is he refused to take laptop with him,which he never does before.."

That's odd. Any break from the norm is odd. And suspicious.

"And the last thing is he took of the necklace I gave him on his birthday with my initial name and his on it,more terribly he took off the wedding ring even though we just got married one month ago and I am 5 months pregnant now..he said he put them in a safe at the hotel together with the necklace and his wallet cos he doesn't want they rob it( place he goes to is very bad place)..."

Well, that explains it then. If he'd brought his laptop, it probably would have been stolen. And if he was taking off his ring and necklace so that he could cheat on you (as you obviously suspect) why the hell would he TELL you that he took them off? What purpose would that serve? If he was trying to keep what he was doing a secret, he just wouldn't have told you about it. Instead, he told you he was putting them in the hotel safe, so that they wouldn't get lost or stolen.

"so ridiculous to me,how come somebody can rob a ring on your finger."

Well, they might not be able to just snatch it from you, but they certainly can steal it, at knife or gunpoint. A friend of mine almost had her wedding ring stolen right on the street. There was a bum begging for money on the side of the road, and she went to hand him a couple of bucks, and he grabbed her ring and tried to pull it off her hand. She started driving and got away, but crazy sh*t like that happens.

"I am very disappointed and upset about this, I have the feeling its a bad sign for our marriage."

I'm sorry you feel that way, but it sounds to me like you're overreacting. I don't think he's lying to you, and I don't think he's cheating on you. I don't think he realized how taking the ring off would make you feel, and now that he does, he'll probably never do it again.

He made a simple mistake, and if you can't forgive him for something like that, then your marriage really IS doomed to failure.

[loveless123]

so long...

[MWalsh89]

Not to concern this girl more, but your comment about the less than likelihood of making up elaborate lies, isn't unheard of, my ex was a pro at this and sometimes, horomones give off the better half of a woman's intuition.

[Couter]

Hormones can also blind women to obvious truths.

[Opinion Owner]

You call your ex a "pro" at making up elaborate lies. I severely doubt that. The more elaborate a lie, the more difficult it is to perpetuate. What's more likely is that you wanted to believe him, and so you ignored the red flags instead of paying attention to them.

And that feeling, that "woman's intuition" that you're attributing to hormones? That's just your good old subconscious analyzing the situation and saying "Hold on. Wait a minute. That sounds like bullsh*t". We all have that.

[Couter]

Sounds to me like he doesn't want to get stabbed over a ring. I think your husbands safety should have deeper meaning than a chunk of gold and diamonds, especially if he is in a "very bad place".

If you've been arguing with him about this trip, I can see why he didn't bring his laptop. If I had a trip I needed to go on, and my wife was constantly pissed off at me because of it, I'd probably want some time away from her too.

It sounds like you are the one who is causing the problems in your marriage, stop trying to manipulate your husband, and when he wants to do something, give him your support. That's what being in a relationship is all about.

[Asker]

do you really think so? the place he went to isn't that bad,they just steal your money, wallet or necklace when you are careless,not a ring. And after we had many agurment but he still insisted to go,i gave in and didn't piss him off about it at all. I think he just try to hide things from me on this trip.

[Couter]

Stealing a ring is as easy as stealing a wallet or a necklace, all you have to do is pull a knife and say "give me your ring", instead of "give me your wallet".

If it's really that important to him that he goes on this trip, why aren't you supporting him? You're his wife, not his mom. He wanted your blessing, not your permission. Tell him that you don't want him to go, but if he feels it's something he has to do, you need to support him, not yell at him because he's not doing what you want.

[Couter]

As for the trust issue, for starters, why on earth did you marry a man you don't trust?

That being said, nothing is going to drive a man to cheating faster than an unsupportive wife who doesn't think they are trustworthy. If you love him unconditionally, and learn that you aren't always going to agree on everything, and sometimes you'll have to swallow your own pride/fears to be a good wife, you'll be together until the end.

Keep in mind this goes for men too, not just women.

[Asker]

it was for his qwork but he could deny if he wanted. I did trust him with all my heart..but he broke his promises to me ..which are very important to me,and kept hiding things from me..only when I asked or confronted him,then either he told the truth or got angry just to cover it up. I feel fed up and don't trust him anymore,coz it seems its his character. And to come to that conclusion of course it is a long run with many doubts and evidence that he keeps things from me.

[MWalsh89]

The change in norm is concerning, as is this extensive tale on why it took him so long to get ahold of you. Maybe my opinion isn't best suited here as I'm still scarred from a recent relationship with a liar who could come up with the most elaborate tales.

Did he say why he didn't want to take his laptop with him? You are pregnant, and while I can understand space, he should take into consideration the state you're in. Would he at least call you at night to talk to you and say goodnight and talk about his day? Did he get snippy during the times you talked to him?

Unfortunately though, I have found that while hormones can make you a little crazy, at the same time, you're intuition level is heightened, especially with nearing complete motherhood.

You guys need to sit down and talk about this as civilly as possible, and if things start to get heated, take a breather, allow yourselves to calm down so that nothing is said that you'll regret.

Best of luck to you hun.

[rdabby]

Here is my first thought, on no he took it off to meet chicks and he isn't taking his laptop cause he will probably be drinking night and day and party with girls..

Then my second thought was hey they re newly weds and she's pregnant, so she's probably over reacting and feeling insecure and her hormones are talking here and she's probably just imagining all this..

Now its weird that he takes off his wedding ring etc on this trip but if its going to be stolen then why bother.. Its only a work trip and am pretty sure its not in vegas.. Even if it was, you should trust your man regardless where he was.

Now I have trust issues and I usually create drama cause of my jealousy and its a fact that I just had a fight with my boyfriend over something like this... The suspicious mind.

[normalice]

two things to keep in mind:

first, if you are 5-months pregnant, you have a spectacular array of hormones driving you a little nuts. Try to acknowledge this and consider the possibility that you aren't thinking rationally.

second, it is also true that many men lose interest in their significant others once they become pregnant. It's possible he is cheating on you. To verify, I would suggest calling the police stations around the area and asking them if they had a report on a robbery during the time he was late calling you. If one of the police stations has a record of it, then no biggie, he's probably telling you the truth and you are simply on a hormone surge. If no one has any record of it, then confront him about it.

[TheManHimself]

It means he wants to be loyal to you. Every man knows wedding rings are chick magnets. He just wants to avoid the drame of having to reject so many women out there looking for married men.

[Asker]

sounds werid to me

[rdabby]

Why do women want to look for married men? They re taken why bother...? This doesn't make sense.. Do you guys feel that way for real?

[TheManHimself]

Yes, experience talks.

[jamaall89]

I'm not married, but I do have a promise ring and I wear it like a badge of honor. I want other woman to know I'm private property.