I used to be of your mindset, but I have shifted my perspective and now disagree.
You are right, we are all rich enough to buy ourselves everything we could possibly want. If I don't have something I want, it's likely because it's too expensive and therefore no one is going to buy it for me.
But I buy people things that they might not think to buy for themselves. Recent example: my girlfriend likes stones, crystals and the like and decorating her room with lights. Knowing this, I bought her some prisms for her room, to catch the light and cast rainbows in it.
They were an inexpensive gift, and something she could have easily bought for herself, but she didn't think of it. I did. She loves them, and appreciates that I was thinking of her and got her something that is now special to her. Another time, we were just walking around town and going into shops looking at things. I saw her checking out necklaces, so I asked her to try some on and figured out which one she liked, and bought it. It was a spontaneous gift and she now treasures that necklace and wears it often.
Yet another example, I bought her a black dress that I thought would look good on her. It does. Kind of a gift for both of us. I also bought her a satin babydoll nightgown, which was a Christmas print on sale. I like the pattern and I gave it to her out of season intentionally. I tell her I feel like Christmas came early whenever she wears it.
My wife agonized over what to buy our kids for Christmas. She spends hours looking for a perfect present. Nobody ever uses what we buy. I always say just get a gift card. She says that is too impersonal.
Well, like I said, kids are different. Seems your wife has a ocd for being “perfect mom”. It’s a good trait, but also it’s the reason I don’t speak to my mother today. Long story. Just be careful.
I do gifts all the time. I LOVE shopping for others…. More than shopping for myself.
It’s interesting because my friends say shopping for gifts for me is hard because whenever I want something I just buy it myself, which is valid. But the point isn’t giving someone something because they can’t get it. It’s just a way of showing love and appreciation.
For my birthday my fav people gave me sugar free candies, my favorite drinks, my fav snacks, and cute stuffed animals. Because they knew that’s what i liked. Even though I could buy it myself. My mom used to be freezing cold in her room, her and my dad could never agree on the temp. So I bought her an electric blanket. She could buy it herself, but didn’t even think of getting one. You can get things yourself, but the point is you don’t have to and you get to be surrounded by the things you like, new things you haven’t thought of getting, and people you love for that day….
I always do gifts. I love giving gifts. I'm always super particular about what I'm going to get each person, incredibly catered to their individual needs/wants/personality.
For Christmas my friends and I always do a secret Santa. Since there's so many of us.
I guess I'm "dumb" then- I buy my close friends and family gifts for holidays, birthdays, and "just because" if I see something I think they would like.
Just because people have money doesn't mean they'll buy something for themselves! It's called being an adult with responsibilities and priorities. There have been times I had the money to buy something, but held off because I wanted to pay my bills, wait until I got paid, I wanted to wait until the price decreased, or some other reason... and I'd be gifted said item later.
If nothing else, it shows you care and are thinking of the other person.
I give gifts to my mom but otherwise I don't do it :) I buy her books and she likes that she says I'm good at picking them. I bought her a coffee/tea mug that keeps your drink warm once. And I make her cards with art that I made. It's just to show my gratitude for her love and because I was not good with these things when I was younger. It feels good to do it now :)
But giving gifts to a lot of people is still too much stress and work for me.
That seems like a positive relationship gift giving. Do you think your mom worries at all about buying you something to reciprocate? That’s my biggest problem with gift giving.
But what you’re describing doesn’t sound like that. You’re keeping your mother up to date on good books. A+ to me.
It's one of those things left from a bygone era where people would arrange to do things outside of computers and electronics. I think it is quite charming much like Halloween is. You can dress up in a costume anytime you want right? But doing it on Halloween is different, and it is a collective, social activity.
Without Halloween, Christmas or birthdays.. it's boring. It's making me think technology getting to this point is a mistake because people used to go outside and hang out with each other, socialize much more. Now we are being fractured and given substandard social interactions through electronic media.
I buy my friends gifts all the time, but I don't wait till birthdays or Christmas. If I see something I think a friend might like, I buy it. It is what friends do.
I could buy everything I want, or I can ask for it as a gift. What I so depends on how close to my birthday or Christmas it is. So let's say I want a PS5, and it's June-September. My birthday was in May and ai have a few months to go until Christmas, I'll buy it. If it's April, May (before the 25th), November or December (before the 25th), I'll ask for it. A lot of people do this. I had a colleague who was moving out of an apartment to a house and needed furniture. It was near Christmas (and her birthday was alo in mid January). All her gifts were furniture. Sure, she could buy it herself, but it was cheaper to get them as gifts. Most gifts actually aren't returned.
I very much enjoy giving gifts and money to women whom I know I have no chance whatsoever of having sex with. If she has a boyfriend, or a friends with benefits's whom she's having sex with fairly regularly, that makes her even more attractive to spoil with gifts and money. Strange, I know, but I love it.
only for kids at Christmas generally speaking. we do gifts various times in the yea when inspired to do so, including for others. its fun to open boxes and surprises are fun.
forced to get things on a given date of exchange isn't as fun anymore.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
6 mo
Usually a fancy box of biscuits, a bottle of wine or something. I prefer if friends and family don't buy me gifts as its an expensive obligation.
I generally give money. Why spend time shopping for and then buying something that someone has to pretend to like and then return it, hoping you never ask about it?
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