Why do Some People Expect a Reward for Having Done Something Good for Another or Have a Motive in Mind while Doing so?

Question

**I Invented a New Word Today "Gift Seekers." Any Thoughts? xxoo

ArrowheadSW · Accepted Answer

Some people will do you a favor, that you didn't ask for, and then later on come back and say, "You need to do this thing for me, because look at what I've done for you"... That sucks when people do that. It's like come on, I didn't ask for that in the first place.

Wiredone · Accepted Answer

They think they are "entitled " to be rewarded for good deeds. They wouldn't do anything if there wasn't something in it for them. It's the mindset of the generation.

What ever happened to doing something nice " just because "?

Lliam · Answer

I feel bad for people like that.

Thank goodness for people who help others purely for the sake of alleviating suffering or bringing joy.
- Volunteering time at homeless shelters, animal shelters, child care facilities, nursing homes, Meals on Wheels, Habitat for Humanity, ...
- Donating food, blankets and clothing to organizations that help the needy. (I donate to local organizations that I know and trust. I don't donate to national or international organizations because, with their CEO salaries and bureaucracies, only a tiny % of donations go to the intended recipients.)
- Giving some food or even a dollar to a homeless person.
- Being nice to cashiers and service personnel.
- Praising people to cheer them up.
- Empathizing with people who are going through rough times.
- Helping out friends with no expectation of any reward other than gratitude.
- Random acts of kindness like "paying it forward".

My wife was checking out at the grocery store recently. She was rummaging in her purse for cash because she prefers using cash instead of plastic.
All of a sudden, the cashier told her it was taken care of. The guy behind her had paid for her groceries. $75 worth.
My wife was dumbfounded and tried to tell the guy it was unnecessary, but he insisted and told her to just pay it forward.

There are endless ways that people do good things for others without any expectation of repayment. The reward is knowing that you helped someone or something. It makes the world a better place.

Sometimes you have no idea what a person is going through and how much an act of kindness effects them.

Leapfrog00 · Answer

A large number of people are self centered and greedy. My ex-girlfriend's mother always used to say she wouldn't do stuff other people because they wouldn't do anything for her, like if she was driving and she stopped at a stop sign at the same time as someone else, she wouldn't let them go first.

She would say "they woyld never let me go, so why should I let them go"

One day I finally said to her, "you don't need a reason to be nice to people. It's a choice". Yeah, a lot of people are assholes, but being selfish is just as bad. My character Valentine in my book series hates people and at times only cares about herself, and I swear I got a lot of ideas for her just from watching other people's sarcastic narcissistic horrifying deplorable attitude!

I see people on GAG talk about how much it's not worth doing anything for other people. There may have been 50 people in the past the wrong me, but it's also wrong to blame the next person that comes along but actually might appreciate some help! I admit, I'm not much of a people person, but I would never expect anything return for helping someone.

Effably · Answer

To me every act is selfish. Selfishness is not bad. I can do something nice for you because I want you to smile, be carefree and happy for a while. I always have an intent. Every action carries some intent one way or the other.

Extrapolating on that, every successful interaction is transactional in nature. If I succeed in my act of doing something nice you are happy. Your emotional response was my intent and so is also the reward I hope to get for that action.

So I have no issue with people wanting something back. They just need to engage in a way that warrants and justifies it while also lining up with the other participant's wants. Doing so is just a matter of their skill level. In my eyes you are upset with their lack of social skill, not their desire.

imtiaz45 · Answer

Expecting a reward for doing good or having ulterior motives can stem from various factors. It might be influenced by cultural norms, personal experiences, or a desire for recognition or validation. Additionally, individuals may believe in reciprocity or anticipate future favors. Sometimes, underlying insecurities or a need for control drive such behaviors. However, genuine altruism also exists, where individuals help others without expecting anything in return. Understanding these motivations can shed light on human behavior and the complexities of social interactions, emphasizing the importance of empathy, authenticity, and self-awareness in altruistic acts.

oceanbreeze2023 · Answer

To me its not about getting a reward from people, because when the truth is revealed itself it’s a kind of gift from the higher power on its own, i don’t need peoples validation all i need is the higher force and my guardian angels on the other side, i am content with it. And lastly i Will protect my earthpeople to Any costs even if it wouldn’t bring a reward. There is too many people around me and my people that don’t have that kind of mindset, and whomever befriends these kind of hellbound people or turn them into their lovers, i feel sorry for their stupidity. don’t try to ruin people who always had very little in life to loose, especially if They once were kind to you. you brought hellfire upon your own soul by doing so.

QuickToAsk · Answer

Their time is valuable & they want some appreciation or something for services rendered. Yes, there are others that feel good by just doing things for others, but then there are others who don't just go around doing stuff for their health. I kinda see both sides of it, but really, people have their own busy lives to live so taking time out to help others slows them down from their own lives if they're going out of their way for someone else. There are people with the philosophy that everything in life ain't free. It's one thing if it's a little favor, but if someone's going out of their way to help &/or they're the only one that can immediately help a person in a jam, then the person being helped should offer something. That's just common courtesy.

TrueConfection · Answer

I know someone who fits this description. She loves to point out all her good deeds and she'll continuously point out the same ones, just in case the listener didn't understand how fabulous she is the first couple of times.

It seems to me she needs words of affirmation to feel valued.

thegreenyogi · Answer

Because for many people other people are a means to achieve their goals. Its those kind of people that feed off of the idea that if they've done you a favour you're their servant for life. It's also another way, especially very insecure people, for them to elevate their ego for a while. Xx

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I was told as a kid if I couldn't do something with a good heart, then I shouldn't do it at all. I've kept that with me my whole life. Thing is, some people do good with the sole intention of receiving some kind of reward. Why? I guess they have to be the ones to answer that.

RSav4013 · Answer

People have a need to be needed I think, but they don't want to do it without also being appreciated. I think you have a true friend when both are willing to help each other out without expecting anything in return.

JoePro_ · Answer

I think it's a 'natural' aspect of being born human. Part of self-preservation thinking. And I think you can either be nurtured to act against that mindset, or nurtured to give into it. Some people even having experiences or traumas which might make them concerned that if they're not receiving enough back in return for any efforts on their part, that they're being taken advantage of and have lower odds of coming out of something on top.

I think it's a bad mindset, even if it's an 'understandable' self-preserving mindset. You don't want to be at a loss when in social interactions and exchanges with people. But for most of us, living in first world conditions, you're never really, truly at a deficit just because you gave something to someone or performed an act of kindness.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

It's not a good deed and you really should not feel good about it, if you are doing it for the purpose of getting recognition for it.

menina · Answer

I suppose that's because they didn't do it with good intentions, they did because they thought they would get a reward. They didn't do it to actually help someone.

Surely · Answer

I don’t expect any rewards at the moment. But I do expect that if sometime down the road I need a hand and they are capable of doing so. I do expect it to be returned!

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Well unfortunately those people haven't gotten past the natural human inclination not to be selfish Paris.. I guess not everybody has the compacity to me as selfless as Paris..

IslaTheWitch · Answer

some people get the reward from their feeling of doing a right thing, some need an external reward

Massageman · Answer

They are just being selfish- "what's in it for me"- poopy-heads.  Just do something nice for someone- you'll feel better for it.

ParkKira · Answer

If you’re doing something good for another person it shouldn’t be for personal gain. You shouldn’t make a show of it. Humility is key.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Because of the everyone gets a trophy movement?

MsBrie · Answer

Sometimes I do reward them, run into a lot of people here that don't expect anything other than a thank You but they are older.

Sharkstealth · Answer

How about people who try to get the reward for falsely trying to decieve the reciever in to believing that they were responsible for the act? Extremely disrespectful in my opinion.

dreamstar72 · Answer

Maybe back in my parents day, but these time it is mainly about money on in some form of repayment.

DJB72 · Answer

By "some people" I assume you mean "member of the species homosapiens"?

superchan2011 · Answer

Those kind of people is what you'd call entitled. People that are truly just doing something for you out of the goodness of their hearts won't help you or get you something for the sole purpose getting or expecting something out of you in return.

Slapmynuts · Answer

Unfortunately human nature! A good deed. never seems to be just that because of someone wanting something in return!😔

Iron_Man · Answer

The reward for them is being treated to Denny lol. Kidding

Likes2drive · Answer

Maybe that’s how they were brought up as a kid by their parents and it stuck

Dongie · Answer

They're human. Who's to say which would still do it with nothing at the end.

shortster · Answer

Most people are selfish and not selfless these days.

CubaPirate · Answer

Not me I'm just enjoy doing the right thing

exitseven · Answer

people are inherently selfish.

douride2 · Answer

I know a few of those types of people.

Smartman5 · Answer

Because no one does anything for free. There are very few people who do things for free

lildkman1010 · Answer

Honestly probably for attention

Rnjura · Answer

It's human nature to always expect rewards for everything even a good deed.

jahaims · Answer

They are entitled

leemoney · Answer

Hello my dear

Exterminatore · Answer

Often charity is a vale for pride.

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