It's sad really. Just how many people look back to what it was like growing up, and wince.
It's a widespread idea that a childhood is suposed to be magical. Happy. You aren't supposed to have any worries until you're in highschool at the earliest, or something like that.
When I look back, I'm one of those people who wince. And I hate it.
I hate that I have so much to complain about, that my councillor says I am justified in being angry. I wish she could say truthfully that I'm just a spoiled brat who is making something out of nothing. Sadly there is plenty to be made out of a bruise and panic inducing fear. I'm not making something out of nothing. I'm making a little, out of a lot.
It's worse than I tend to make it out to be. And that sucks.
All those kids who get cranky over receiving a black iPhone instead of a white one, or whatever kids get upset about. I wish that was all I had to worry about. That I'm on my third phone. It's an iPhone 4s, my old one was a flip, and the one before that an android touch. I wish that was all I had to complain about.
But it's not.
This isn't a take for me to rant though and complain. This is a take for people who look back, and wish the same things I do. That we couldn't complain about anything. That we were just being spoiled brats when we did complain. That life really was perfect and we just never appreciated it.
What I want to do. Is recreate my childhood.
We all had things as kids that we were interested in, that we never got into.
I loved Pokemon, I was so into that, (as much as I could anyway) I could recite over two hundred pokemon off the top of my head. Which for me is quite the feat. My memory is shit. But I was also into Digimon.
We owned The Digimon Movie on VCR, and I would watch it on repeat. Gabumon was always my favourite.
The point to this, is finding something you liked as a kid, but never got right into. And getting into it now.
I loved Digimon, but only ever had that movie. So for the last couple of days, I've been watching the TV show. Starting at season 1, episode 1. I am at this point in time, at season 1, episode 10.
What else did I like?
My Little Pony.
I owned a figurine of Pinky Pie who had one magnetised hoof that I would stick to the fridge. I'd never seen the show, never watched a movie, never seen anything to do with MLP, I just simply liked that it was about horses. I don't like Pinky Pie now, I find her to be freaking annoying. Now I like Rainbow Dash, which might have to do with her strong personality, and that arrogance I recognise in myself. I still haven't watched any (bar one or two) of the shows, I've seen a little of the whole 'pony turned human at high school' thing which is just lame. But I've been attacking the fanart.
(Dash Academy by SorcerusHorserus on Deviantart) https://www.deviantart.com/art/Dash-Academy-Chapter-1-Involuntary-253536850
What else have I brought back?
Well. This isn't just a thing I liked, I was very into it. But I think it's always good to keep something that you loved.
I own 72 Goosebumps books. I collected them. Granted three are missing due to lending them to someone who apparenty doesn't give shit back.
My stepmother is a spender. Which I suppose is where I get it. I spend a lot of money, for very little. Meaning that I'll spend a lot, but it'll be on bargains. My stepmother would just spend. Except for garage sales.
We used to go to a lot of those, I love them. It's where I got the majority of my Goosebumps books. People have a tendency to sell Goosbeumps for 0.50 to 3 AUD. (0.35 to 2.12 USD) (0.23 to 1.39 British pound) (Conversions credit: Google. Of course)
(Stay Out of The Basement gave me nightmares. The only book to ever give me nightmares)
Anyway, those are my three Childhood Recreations. Yes, it's materialism. But, if you grew up the way I did, where items gave you more stability than any person around you, you would know just how important things can be. My books were important to me. They'd be used against me, but I still loved them. They were just as much a saftey blanket as my stuffed dog (who I fear has been thrown out).
So, my point is simple. If you feel that you had a shitty childhood, or not much of one at all. Pick something that you liked, or wished you could have an interest in, and take the opportunity now, to like it. If you wanted to play footy (football/soccer whatever you call it where you are, I'm reffering to footy as in AFL) then go out and buy a ball. Kick it, hand ball it. If you wanted Lego but never got it, go out and buy a set. If you loved a series but could never watch it, well. Youtube is an amazing place, you will very likely find it there.
Whatever it is, if you have the chance now. Do it. Replace the bad memories with these new ones. It doesn't fix anything, no. But it'll make you feel better. A kick in the face to who/whatever it was that kept these things from you.