I like seeing you. I like talking to you.
Yet...
I hate you at the same time. It's crazy.
You're very attractive. You have a nice smile. It's nice to hear your voice. It's nice to see you in the afternoon. I like sharing thoughts with you. It's nice to look at your enormous breasts. I keep coming back for more. Part of me likes you, but the other part can't stand you.
Am I crazy?
Am I trapped in an erotic purgatory?
A psychedelic sex slavery?
You're nice sometimes. You seem to mean well. But you act like a bitch too. Yet I both love it and hate it at the same time. It's crazy. It makes no sense. Part of me finds it to be an incredible turn-on. And the rest of me really finds it to be more than I can bear. It makes me want to have you on all fours and watch you wince in the mirror while I'm at work behind you. And the other half of me just wants to walk away.
Am I crazy?
Am I trapped in an erotic purgatory?
A psychedelic sex slavery?
You're sexually attractive. Yet I don't want to have sex with you. You want a relationship. But now I know I don't want one with you. In fact I find it impossible to really love you. Because I hate you deep down. You drag me down. You're empty and lost inside. I could never see myself ever loving you. Ever fucking you with any real passion.
Yet I'm conflicted.
I dream of seeing you prancing about your apartment after work in nothing but a black bra and flare jeans. Walking around barefoot. I dream of you opening the door for me. We would be spending the evening. I'd be smelling your giant melons. Of filling my nose with the odor of your bra cups. Yet I don't really love you. I feel like you're not worthy of it.
I really just want to errupt between your breasts and blow it all on your face. Your lips. Your neck. Your eyelashes. And delight in how irritated it makes you. But also in how beautiful and messy you are. To do you justice. It makes no sense. No sense at all.
Am I crazy?
Am I trapped in an erotic purgatory?
A psychedelic sex slavery?
I can't stand you. Yet I keep coming back for more. I keep being curious. I keep getting suckered by your nice moments. Part of me keeps thinking it's possible to have a relationship with a girl like you. But the rest of me can't accept it because I hate you so much. Yet I keep coming back for more.
I've got issues to be this torn. But I realized you have issues too. I realize that you're not really as mature as I thought. You have no love for yourself and no love for a man. You may hate yourself more than I do. Part of me thinks you're sweet and innocent. And part of me really just thinks your worthless crap that I keep wasting my time on.
I want out of this conflict. I want to walk away. Yet I can't let you go. Why? Why do I hang on like this? Why am I obsessed? What sense does it make?
Am I crazy?
Am I trapped in an erotic purgatory?
And if so how do I get out?
How do I go from here?
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