1. "But like... why?"
Because I don't want to. Alcohol is not appealing to me. The smell isn't appealing, therefore the taste doesn't seem appealing either. The aftermath of consuming too much isn't appealing. The idea of losing some (or a lot of) control over my body, or blacking out entirely, is scary to me. The idea of basically throwing away money and consuming a lot of unnecessary calories isn't appealing. In my opinion there's just really not anything about alcohol that, for me, seems beneficial.
2. "Oh... so you don't like partying?"
I actually do. You can party without alcohol. I mean, I don't party a whole lot because I'm more of an introvert and I tend to feel overwhelmed sometimes. But in general I do like dressing up, going out with my friends, dancing, having fun, talking and laughing. It's just that at a certain point at every party, you notice everyone getting maybe a little too drunk, so as a sober person it gets harder to enjoy the atmosphere. At that point I usually go home, because I feel like I won't really be missing out on anything else than people being overly dramatic, puking, and hearing the same story for the 10th time. People most likely won't notice you leaving anyway. I prefer it this way. I can enjoy a nice evening out and then peaceafully go home to enjoy a snack and an episode of my favorite show before going to bed.
3. "I think everyone should get drunk at least once."
Ok. Good for you. I don't. I don't see the point in doing that. I genuinely don't feel like doing it, so why should I force myself to do something I have 0 interest in?
4. "You sure you don't want a taste?"
Yes. I'm sure. It would have happened by now if I was unsure.
5. "OMG! I gotta be there when you get your first drink/when you get wasted for the first time!"
... what? What part of "I don't drink" did you not understand? There's not going to be a first drink, being drunk for the first time or the first hangover. It's not something I'm going to do.
6. "Wow you're really admirable, I respect you so much, I could never do it, what an achievement..."
Usually said by someone who's extremely drunk. Thank you, I guess. But it's not really an achievement to abstain from something you've never even experienced, or don't feel the need to experience. Of course it's difficult to refrain from doing something you enjoy doing and have done multiple times. But for me, as someone who's completely and utterly repulsed by alcohol, it's not really an achievement. It's like congratulating someone for not wanting to eat spicy food because they don't enjoy it.
7. "You must be so fun at parties..."
Actually, yes. I don't need alcohol in order to have fun, or be funny. In my opinion it's actually kind of sad to hide behind alcohol. I like to be able to loosen up naturally. Getting tipsy in order to loosen up or to have fun just seems fake to me, and not as enjoyable.
8. "What a prude..."
Yes. That's exactly why I'm here, at the party. Because I'm prude. I'm not here to actually enjoy myself or anything. I just want everyone to know exactly how prude I am and during the entire night I'm just going to silently hover in this corner right here, with my glass of water, and judge every single one of you for drinking that disgusting devil poison. How dare all of you drink in my presence. I'm offended. I'm actually hurt. Barbarians!