Why Stealing is Actually a Good Thing, And Why You Should Try It (Satire)

I am going to be writing 7 reasons why you should steal something no matter how big it is and why everyone should do it. We all have been taught at an early stage of our lives that stealing is a bad thing, but why should we not do it even when famous people steal or better yet when the government steals? All the way from just a mayor to our very own presidents we've had.

1. The Government does it so should you

From all the way to a state representative Terry Spicer who would accept bribes from people more than $3000 in bribes a month, to Mount Vernon Ernie Davis a former New York mayor being convinced of tax evasion, Governor Missouri Roger Wilson being convicted of money laundering and arrested for 2 years, all the way to the former U.S. president Richard Nixon stealing all that money in the Water Gate Scandal. The list of convicted politicians stealing money is unparalleled just google "politicians who have been convicted of crimes." So you stealing is actually just evening out the playing field and balancing out the universe.

2. If you stole successfully the material or money would be for free

Why pay for an iphone6 that could possibly cost you $200-$400? Or a Ps4 that would cost you $600 if you could just take it for free? Or why work for money when you could just roam down the streets and pickpocket a guy's wallet? Another way to steal is by scamming people into giving you their money.

3. You would be balancing out the universe

Like I mentioned earlier we all know there is no form of a Utopian society. The politicians steal all the way from mayor to the president. So if we can't trust them then that means we can't fully trust anybody so now the scales to how society works has an imbalance so steal so we can regain that balance two wrongs do make a right. And just because some haven't been accused of stealing doesn't mean they haven't done it, its like that old saying its not stealing if you don't get caught. Those with such great power will use and abuse their power so don't let them only make a living off of you you make a living off of them too.

4. You would never have to work

Lets be honest nobody truly likes going to work unless you're one of those very few people who got to live their dream job. Which unfortunately most people don't get to do you would hate going to work. Having to deal with all those other annoying employees sure you might get a long with a few of them, but we have all had at least that one employee or boss we just wanted to punch in the face. Not to mention having to deal with all those rules, rules, rules, and just more rules. Having to come to work obeying those dress codes, violation codes, having to speak in a certain way, you can say this, but you can't say that blah blah blah yuck.

5. You would eventually become an expert at stealing

Sure the first couple times maybe even 100 times you might be bad at stealing sneakily, but eventually you would become really good at it and it will come like second nature to you. With the world of the internet you can even google how to steal certain things properly such as pick-pocketing to how to scam people out of their money sounds pretty easy :).

6. You would never have to pay taxes ever again

Lets face it taxes can be a good thing, but the argument towards what our tax money should go to has been going on for centuries. The people who mooch off of welfare money just because they don't want to work are also stealing money from your hard earned money why should you have to take that? And if you want to get technical not all jobs require you to have to pay taxes or at least a big amount of it.

Take Waiters and waitresses for example they can make money off of the table as a matter of fact that's how they make most of their money. So if waiters and waitresses can make money without getting taxes taken why shouldn't you? Plus technically the IRS steals money from you people who work so just don't pay taxes to even out the playing field so everything goes back to an equilibrium status. Lets us citizens fix the government since they are not willing to fix themselves.

7. You would be rich

Don't you think you deserve that ^? Everyone loves money you should have a nice life set out for yourself. Why not take an easy way out if there is one is what I always say. So not only would you have a lot of money, but you would have made it from other people's hard work like how the government does. All you have to do is steal by becoming good at it then the rich life would be yours for the taking.

Life is not fair

Stealing is not that hard to get away thanks for reading this mytake. #SeeMyWork


Most Helpful Girl

  • lel The only part that sucks about stealing is what happens if you get caught. Though it's funny how dumb some thieves are.


Most Helpful Guy

  • next title please. Why being evil is good, and why you should try it. hahaha


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