Why I'm a Lone Wolf/Hermit

Why I'm a Lone Wolf/Hermit

I read somewhere in another myTake someone saying they think people who are lone wolves are socially inept, they stated we make excuses for our inability to socialize by giving ourselves a more endearing label. I didn't respond because not only was it wildly inaccurate, but also opened old wounds from my very social days.

I am a very social, funny, easy going, confident, outgoing and giving Virgo. Because I am good looking people tend to push up on me, then turn very jealous and spiteful quickly. I always had friends then suddenly found myself with my back against the wall, not knowing what I had done to deserve it. These same people would come back looking for me, often obsessed with my presence but just cannot seem to refrain from the unwarranted attacks.

My exes craved everything about me but very often play games to make me think they can do better, and then take the sides of those who offend and harm me, even if they never met these people. I just can't seem to get anywhere with people, or stop them from treating me the way they do. So I gave up and cut everyone off.

Why I'm a Lone Wolf/Hermit

I need sleep because I work hard to provide for myself. One of the reasons I cut off contact from everyone including family was, people seem very inconsiderate of this and it almost seems like being around others interrupts my rest. I could never be that way but still those who have done anything for me, throw it in my face. I once had a male friend push to do me a favor then bragged about giving me 1 dollar. I watch these same people and they do not treat others like that, it is just me but they moan and bitch when I don't want to be around them.

I invited two people to my house, I told them they could come stay because I recognized they like my company. I thought it was only for one night, what harm could it do? They first helped themselves to food which I don't mind but they wasted my well prepared food, by the way I am a great cook, something they know for sure.

My food is also very expensive and tastes far better than the garbage we bought days ago, that they ate, it was dry and had no flavor but I ate it because I wasn't gonna waste my money and I had a headache. They then spent the whole night slamming my doors, scrambling god knows what, giggling and whispering in the other room. I got no sleep, I do not want bags under my eyes and I have a full day tomorrow which is my day off before it's back to work again.

I do not know why I am so different from other people, that is why I stay away. I look different for this reason too. I am often told I look rich but it is because I care for myself and don't have bad practices. Socializing is just too wearing on my body, psyche and pocket. I am not broke and have money just in case something goes bad in my life. Many people I know are worse off than I am, and the minute I invite them around my life falls a part. Why I'm a Lone Wolf/Hermit

People who are lone wolves don't sacrifice peace of mind and a stable life for friends that could rob you of money, peace, and happiness. People are inconsiderate and make bad decisions like they have more than one life. This is an experience that totally seals it for me, so many years of going in hiding and this is what I get.

I am pretty sure Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates get exactly what I am saying. Not to sound mean, but I think you should leave pigs in the mud or they'll bring it in your house.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can relate

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've kind of become anti-social. I just don't see the point in socializing with people who judge me or don't understand me (or who don't even try). I find people are very critical of me and I just don't have time for that.

    Who wants to be around people who make you feel like crap? Or who wants to be around people who don't approve of your lifestyle? Don't like my life, don't be in it!

    I'm not a miserable person. I've just spent too much time worrying about making other people feel comfortable that I sacrificed my own well-being and comfort level. Never sacrifice any part of yourself for other people's sake. They can take care of their own selves.

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What Guys Said 32

  • "The more I know about people, the more I like my dog."
    "It's better to be alone than in bad company."

    I don't know who said the above quotes but I whole-heartedly agree with them, as well as your Take. I don't know how old you are, but in my limited experiences as an adult, I can say that the adult world is nasty. It's like high school drama and gossip on steroids - except that you have to work and pay your own bills. Those last two things are already stressful as is. I'd rather not have to deal with that extra layer of strife, which is people in general.

    People are selfish and ungrateful, no matter how much or what you do
    for them; nothing ever seems to be enough. And I understand, as someone who has been burned (figuratively) by others. I've lost money to people, I've had to pay for damages on their behalf, I've helped people with their work, basically I give my heart and soul with zero gratitude in return. No surprise, I cut these people out of my life, it became too stressful. But having experienced this, I learned that you have to take care of yourself first and learn to be happy with and by yourself. I live alone, I sometimes go on vacation alone. Don't feel bad for me, because I'm having a blast having my own apartment as well as when I'm wandering around on my own during vacation.

    True friends are hard to find. I only really have 2 true friends, and haven't made any others since my college years. Don't get me wrong; I still socialize with my co-workers and classmates, like going out to happy hour and to the lakes on weekends. I'm not socially awkward and am not afraid to speak to people.

    But given the choice, I'd rather be by myself - along with the peace and quiet, I don't have to be bothered by anyone else's disagreeable behavior. And it's made me much happier in life and better able to focus on my own business. I hope you can find the same (or similar) for yourself!

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    • Thank you, I am the same. I still talk to people and act social but I still want to be alone most of the time, less drama.

  • You sound how I feel about a lot of people, so many are such drain on us, I always do better on my own it seems, when I had a family life they were very inconsiderate of my sleep and I was the one making the money and taking care of everything. Now I'm single again and doing things on my own terms and going to sleep when I need to

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    • People just don't understand that some of us actually care about having priorities. I get nervous and my heart feels weak when I am tired. I cannot function without sleep and I have a lot of responsibilities. It's stupid that the same people who depend on you won't respect that.

    • Yeah I kept telling them I drive for a living and need enough sleep to function, it would be deadly for everyone on the road if I fell asleep. Luckily I'm always active and stop a lot so I never get like that

  • I don't think you're a hermit.

    You don't sound like one.

    Instead you sound like a person who simply doesn't like the popular mindset but given the opportunity to meet likeminded individuals I think you would flourish.

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    • I think so too but I am ill-lucked. My mother used to tell me I am too friendly growing up, I had friends everywhere and didn't even remember where we met, but people get mean to me for no reason and make me regret knowing them.
      I just got tired of it because I am not doing anything wrong, and they pretend the things they do to me never happened as if they are trying to convince me that I am crazy when that fails they apologize and do it again.

    • I'm sorry to hear that. It isn't beyond the human being to feel no remorse and become so conceited as to violently harm others and then deny their behavior. That said I think you'll find others like yourself someday as times goes on; you aren't the only one out there. If nothing else you can take comfort that eventually you'll gravitate to where you want to be if you choose to search.

    • I am hopeful because I always fight for my happiness, that is one thing I will never give up on.

  • I totally get it with needing alone time. I also get it with needing the sleep, and the presence of others can interfere with that. I can see being in a relationship with a woman who really "gets it" and might even be a bit introverted herself. I'd be what you might call an "extroverted introvert". A lot of people who know me think I am real funny and outgoing. But then I go back to my living alone and loving coming home to an empty house. LOL Much, but not all, of the traveling I do, I do alone. I do like it when I go with a friend also, but I have not major problems alone most of the time.

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    • Update is they are still wasting my food, reheating it inside a pot instead of microwave but leaving a lot of it burnt inside the pot. Ignoring me when I talk to them and just acting weird. I talked to one of them about this experience with a family member and she still did it :)

      I was cleaning even though they helped to make the mess, they acted lazy and unwilling. I am done with people.
      I'm not cooking shit more until they are gone, they will know not to waste my hard earned money.

  • - Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
    - Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
    - Exaggerating your achievements and talents
    - Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
    - Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
    - Being envious of others and believing others envy you
    - Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

    You're displaying many symptoms of NPD and It's quite common to see here on GaG. I hope you overcome it one day, should you choose to seek someone to help you.

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    • Yes I am sure that is what I have.

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    • @Kataclyst Considering humans are social creatures and not lone "wolves". Yes, there is something wrong if you shun all social interaction, or are not very good at it.

      Like i said, there are a lot of you guys on GaG. I wish you nothing but the best and hope you overcome your conditions at some point.

    • While its true that we're social creatures not all of us can take it a lot, thats why there's asocial humans as well as social. and an in between of both
      And then there's introverts. they dont shun it, it tires them. there's people that can't handle the energetic outgoing nature of extroverts as well. I dont know of any other animals that have introversion/extroversion, but there's bound to be some, if not now there will be some depending on how long life has left on earth.

      Another thing, most introverts (Pretty much because they don't have to directly interact)
      are much more social online, be it in voice calls or in text i haven't met any asocial introverts as of yet, tho i probably will.

      Lone wolves are not non-social creatures, they just prefer quiet. but hey the chances of us ever agreeing is miniscule so lets not get too crazy and get into a stupid argument about our views, gave our opinions and thats that blablabla. have a nice day o/

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What Girls Said 12

  • I agree with what you say, and relate to you a lot. For my example my mums partner says I don't know how to socialise with others, but in fact i do, I'm pretty fun and outgoing but it just depends on who you throw me with. I see myself as very different to the majority, and for awhile gave up on trying to make friends, and then I finally figured out a few years back the reasons why I had trouble making friends, I changed who I tried to make friends with, instead of the majority i now look for the minority personalities like me, this realisation then allowed me to be myself and I became a lot happier. Its funny you say about the being called rich because i had the same once by a girl who i asked what her thoughts on me were, and stupid thing was that at the time i was wearing all secondhand clothes, its just how a person chooses to present themselves. Oh and yes that "Browneye57" I have never seen one opinion that was useful or not rude.

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    • I realized Browneye is a creepy evil person, he can go to hell. Yes darling contrary to what people may think, being perceived as rich when you're broke hurts.

      I was raised poor and just chose to present myself in a better light to make way for greater things. I also wear cheap clothes because I save my money, and often go to the half price store, but I am told I look like I shop abroad then everyone tries to use me because I guess I should look a mess to be left alone.

      My old hairdresser started ripping me off and talking down to me, so I stopped using her. She used to say that, people treat me funny because I wear nice things, I was wearing a 15 dollars dress, leopard tights and nice sandals and she was talking about dressing like a foreigner. I use someone else now and she is nice, let's hope she stays that way.

      But you are right, I might not be searching hard enough for like minded people. I must admit I don't go out much, I should explore more.

    • As an idea perhaps go or do to things you like with people of similar interests. Thats how I figured it out, i was at a camp alone like usual doing photography, a hobby of mine and I saw someone also alone doing the same and now they are my boyfriend, so now when looking for friends I ignore thous who join the crowd and look for the ones standing alone to the side like i use to, I have made a few great friends this way. Well i wish you luck with it. Could you follow, i'd like to see what else you post.

    • Okay no prob

  • I tend to avoid people because I have really bad social anxiety that comes from me being transgender.

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  • I totally understand wanting to be alone, I'm not a big people person even though I'm pretty good at socializing. However, you're coming off as pretty snobby in your explanation...

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  • don't view your differences as necessarily a bad thing. you could just be introverted

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  • People get tired of bullshit after a while. It's nature's defense mechanism.

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