Family & Friends

The Struggle of Being Lonely When You Are Not Alone

Note: This is most likely me yelling my thoughts, so if the rest of what you are reading might come more like something personal than something general, it is just because it actually is.

This might or might not has happened to everyone, but surely whoever has been there won't remember it as a positive experience.

The Struggle of Being Lonely When You Are Not Alone

You have many friends, many close friends, you love them with all your heart and you would do anything for them; you love their company, you like sharing funny experiences with them, you love giving them advice when they have some problems, you love receiving their advice when you are the one having problems.

But then again, you cannot stop thinking that at this point of your life many people of your group comes in couples, while you are very, very single, and it is not your choice.

You want them to be happy, their happiness makes you happy, you are a good person, right? But you cannot stop your inner demons yelling at you, "YOU LOOK AT THEM WITH ENVY, DON'T YOU? SEE!? YOU ARE ALONE, LOSER!"

Especially when those things come all together, you not only don't have a partner, you are unemployed and you are struggling, you wanna leave the place where you are living but you cannot afford that, what happens? You start feeling like "I do not belong here... I do not deserve them... they are better than me. They have what they desire, I don't. I'm not part of them." and the immediate reaction is starting finding new friends and joining some activities to occupy your time. You start going to the gym, you start finding new interests, and it seems to help. For the first 5 weeks. Then you rethink of everything you have done so far in your life. They ARE your friends. You love them, and on Saturdays they are the people you want to stay with, and that want to stay with you. So you start avoiding everyone, search for options where people are unreal, on the Internet, and you slowly fade to apathy. You do not stop doing those other things you have started, but you are just doing them to show yourself that you are still not completely a loser. Heck, you don't even like do those things, you way prefer your apathy!

Then again, your apathy is what you like, but it is also what is killing you, what is the solution!?

A psychologist. That is the only thing that really seems to help. It is not that you do not know your problems, you know what you want in your life and what you don't have, but you really need someone to talk with about it, and your friends are not the solution in this case. They are there for you, but you don't want to do everything about you while you are with them. Sure, sharing each others problem is fine, but it can't be a 24/7 thing. Let's face it, nobody likes a whiner.

You want someone who's obliged to hear you talking and give you advice. Maybe those things you already know, but freeing your voice to someone is helpful. It makes you sad at first, but it is way better than keeping them inside forever.

The Struggle of Being Lonely When You Are Not Alone
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