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Well, it's good that you are safe.. But I do think you are villifyin this guy a bit too much.. He's not a monster.. Maybe a creep, douchebag, and a boundary crosser, but he didn't sound like a predator.. Also you must live in a relatively safe place cause I wouldn't have cared if a dude forget about me as long as he got outta my face, and I'm all good.. I feel like you blew this up a bit more than it needed to be..
I never called him a monster? I prefer not to call people monsters because it dehumanizes them and makes them something intangible that only happens in scary movies or books (when in reality people like that live among us and are very much considered ”normal people” by most).
You don’t seem to understand my point. I’m upset over the fact that a guy like that thinks nothing of an encounter like that. He doesn’g care if he’s making the people around him feel unsafe. All he cares about is getting what he wants, such as someone’s contact information.
It could have ended much worse and I’m fully aware of it. That’s why I shared this story. I didn’t ”blow up” anything.
I'm sorry you kinda are blowin it up.. And I got yo point though.. But you call people like that douche bags, and creeps.. "Oh we gotta teach men not to be creeps".. That's just like sayin we gotta teach people not to steal or murder or men not to rape.. LMAO.. We ain't teachin them nothin they don't already know.. Dude just made you uncomfortable wit his insisted and aggressive behavior.. I get that but it was more an issue of him not knowin when or how to approach a girl.. & Maybe he does think about it.. You never know what's happenin in his head.. You just assumin things about him really..
Considering how narcissistic this guy was, he knew exactly what he was doing. He even said that he could ”take advantage”. Men like him have a no problem treating women like that, and all because people like you justify it by saying that nothing will change. There are seemingly no consequences.
Well, I did say he was obviously a douche bag, and a boundary crosser... But he could just be a guy who talks too much, and has no filter.. Or he could truly see women in a way that made him act the way he does.. & I didn't justify anything he did.. Me bein a realist doesn't signify that I'm excusin him goin overboard with his aggressive behavior.. I'm sayin that walkin up to a woman at 3am seein that she ain't interested & probably a little bit uncomfortable should be common sense to any guy to leave it alone. It's not somethin that needs to be taught..
I also like how the person you granted MHO kept puttin words in my mouth when I ain't never blamed any woman for what happens to her if some guy attacks her, and then she blocked me like a petty child.. LOL.. SMH..
This tale reminded me of how I felt when I got approached by strangers on the street (during the day)... I always tried to not came accross as rude, I always made up excuses and even gave a wrong number, just to shut them down
As much as I wish that the world becomes safe enough for women to travel alone at night, at least in these shorter distances, we cannot do anything about it now and we can't change men overnight. Stay safe <3
And you're a really good writer I'm impressed!
People aren't that bad to actually try something on a total stranger. Most of the time it's someone they know or someone they've been watching for a while.
I usually cut the convo short with convos like that. They get a little mad and try to change my mind but no guy has ever got violent... then again I usually am engaged in the convo not just nodding my head
Although it's more common for rapists to rape someone they know/an acquaintance, it doesn't mean it's uncommon of strangers to attack or rape other strangers. Not more than a year ago, a girl was raped by a stranger in a park I live right next to. And one of my friends has been attacked several times at parties by people she doesn't even know.
Whoa that's crazy! My area must be different or people don't report it
I’m just stuck on the thought that you decided to walk home ALONE at 3AM!!!
Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes it does. But if ever it were gonna, it’s gonna be in the wee hours of the morning like 3am.
Bad move “Charlotte”!!! Thanks for sharing story, but please do learn from this yeah!! Would hate to hear of something happening because a short walk home turned out to be a death walk.
I've had a similar experience once and got myself a pepper spray afterwards. Thankfully, I've never needed to use it.
I'm glad you're safe, but I'm not sure if totally ignoring them in the future will prevent things from turning bad. I've read cases where women got stabbed in the back for completely ignoring the guy.. so you might have to watch out for that.
I still think ignoring is a tad safer than engaging with them.
Sure, just saying you still need to watch out when you ignore them.
I don't really get the logic of passively continuing the conversation but hoping he catches on to your disinterest and gives up. Like I get you wanted to avoid setting him off, but you ended up having to turn him down anyways, wouldn't it have been better to do it right away rather than waiting until you're a few hundred feet from your home?
I would imagine that even if a guy does freak out after being rejected it would be less severe of a reaction if he is rejected before he has put in any time/effort. I think the more time a guy has invested in trying to win a girl over the more likely he is to become frustated when he finally gets a firm rejection.
What you're trying to do is apply logic to a creep. There is no logic behind a creep's reaction. You're making the assumption that he most likely wouldn't lash out. That's quite a heavy assumption to make, especially when you're *right there* in that situation. I didn't want to do anything to provoke this man. And I felt safer being closer to my home, because had it turned into a chase, at least I had a chance to make it. That's why I tried to turn it into a "natural" conversation that just ended with me saying good night and goodbye, instead of me having to basically tell him to eff off. I didn't know that he would end up asking for contact details anyway.
Hindsight is 20/20. After reading my story it's probably easy for you to "figure out" what I should have done instead. But you weren't there, and you don't know what it's like to try to figure out a stranger's next move. He could have been a total psycho. I just wanted to play it as safe as I could. Being passive felt safest.
Really? Are you a mollycoddled suburbanite? I normally go 'goodbye' and end the conversation run away and turn a lot of corners. Maybe you should carry a knife. He wanted to hookup with you probably if he had been out clubbing and ended up with no one. That might have been why he was out so late. Otherwise he was a crazy homeless man.
I remember I was walking in the same direction as a German tourist when I was young and started talking to her. She started to get a little creeped out so I went away. I didn't mean anything by it I just happened to be going in the same direction so i thought I would talk to her.
@Jayson101 cool
I hate men who make women hate men. bc then we all lose
If someone was following me home in the middle of the night I'd be fucking pissing myself. You handled that better than I ever could lol
Hmmm... He sounds a lot worse than some creep I went to hs with. I would have called the cops in your situation. And I don't even normally call the cops.
if someone I don't like or want to talk to insists on engaging me, I will respond for like two seconds maybe and then completely ignore them. Lol
And that's why women shouldn't walk alone at night, go jogging/biking in areas were there's not to many people or houses near by.
Men should learn some manners instead.
It's not that men don't have manners, it's that their are creeps out there who do not care about harming you. I'm pretty sure you lock your doors at night cause you know this.
Sure, but me walking home at night is not an open invitation either. It’s unfortunate that women are apparently supposed to go home earlier/not even go out at all just because some men can’t behave.
Of course it's not an invitation, listen there are people who choose to do evil to other people. Should they be doing that? No, cause it wrong but some people don't have remorse about their actions. That's why people encourage women to not walk alone in deserted areas, know self defense, or at least have mace on you if you're going somewhere alone. Just cause we're women doesn't mean it's going to stop some people from wanting to harm you. Women need to get that idea out their heads, you are absolutely lucky that this man did do anything else to you. Let this be lesson cause this could have turned out for the absolute worse if his intentions were a lot more devious.
You can flip a creep upside down. Some of my friends who are girls can do that
Not that's he's not a weirdo, but you're a bit of a weirdo too. That whole 20 minutes lasted 19 minutes longer than it needed to.
You're not "lucky" that nothing happened. Nothing happened; nothing is normal. Nothing happens to most people on most days.
Practice some stoicism.
That's easy for you to say when you weren't there. I was scared of what his reaction would have been if I'd told him to leave me alone. And I'd imagine that a creep trying to talk to strangers at 3 am usually doesn't take that sort of demand very positively.
I AM lucky that nothing happened. I could have been beaten, raped, murdered. Even though "nothing" is what happens to most people on most days, given the context of the situation I'm happy "nothing" happened instead of me being raped.
You IMAGINE he wouldn't take it positively. Do you think that's the common outcome? Are you well acquainted with such people? You don't actually have much information about this person other than your fears that you're projecting onto them based on context. Is letting them feel engaged and invested in you while leading them back to your home a better plan? You basically address all this at the end of the Take. There was better options; pretty much anything other than nod along. You acknowledge that strangers talking to you at night aren't necessarily out to get you and that they have an ego, yet it's not worth fussing over and you recognize this, so why even challenge me on this? You admit there was better things to do.
Being happy that nothing happened doesn't mean something was likely to happen. Similarly, feeling scared doesn't mean you're in danger. With that logic we should be happy we're not murdered every day. It's a sort of half nice half bleak worldview but has little to do with any given scenario at hand. That just being thankful in general.
I admit that there were better things to do because hindsight is 20/20. At the time I was scrambling to figure out what to do which lead to me sort of freezing up and being passive. And judging by the way he reacted when I told him that I could walk the rest of the way home on my own (got upset, ranted at me for 5 minutes, tried to manipulate me into feeling guilty and giving personal info) he merely confirmed my suspicions of him just being a massive creep. Had I been aggressive, I would probably have been met with even more aggression based on his reaction.
I was put into a situation where I wasn't sure of what the outcome would be. 99% of the time we're sure that we are safe. In this situation I felt extremely unsafe. Don't try to downplay what happened or invalidate my thoughts and feelings.
Unless you've been personally put in a situation by someone else where you felt unsafe and you didn't know what to do or how to react in that very moment, don't fucking talk to me and sit on that high horse up there. It's always easy to say woulda could've shoulda until you're in that situation yourself. And take your semantics regarding feeling happy or lucky somewhere else, I'm not interested in being lectured by some anon guy who has a different view on life than me, it's not relevant at all to the discussion.
My point is that not that your feelings are invalid, it's that your feelings don't validate your actions as correct, rather they invalidate your responsibility for making the wrong actions (somewhat). My intent was reinforce the understanding that there was better options for you or for others in the future.
I have been beaten in the street. It was a group of 7-8 people, I think it was 5 guys and 2 or 3 girls. The highlight was when I was on the ground, surrounded, being stomped on by however many people. There wasn't other options as far as I can tell -- other than be more determined to fight.
You brought up being lucky/happy in the first place and my point was also that it's not relevant. So if we're on the same page then feel free to drop it already.
Then you are preaching to the choir because I'm already aware of the options I had, I just froze up in the moment. Regardless of you think I still feel lucky and happy that he didn't hurt me. Bye.
At least people actually talk to you and you're not sitting in the middle of a park with no car, no money, no place to live and a lifetime of pent up sexual frustration which can never be quenched no matter how deep into sex addiction you are.
Think about that the next time you want to complain about a guy simply talking and trying his luck with you.
He wasn’t ”simply talking” to me. He made me feel unsafe. He got upset when I didn’t want to give my contact information. It could have ended much worse if I’d said or done something wrong. You don’t just ”talk” with strangers at 3 am.
Have it your way baby
i wonder whats ur country, was he not local?
i had same things happening to me... once i went home at about 2-3 at morning and one car stopped and a stranger cat called me... silence, no one around, a little forest nearby, the car stayed followed me about 5 minutes, i didn't react, didn't response, i was very scared but didn't show it, so he finally went away
That is a terrible experience. It's sad that people have to experience crap like this...
Wow. What a monster. You are very lucky that he did not do anything
Nobody forced a conversation on you. At any time you could have just been like "It's late, I have to get home".
Except that I had no idea how he’d react and that’s scary as hell. It’s nearly impossible to find that perfect middle of being stern but also not provocative.
If you're stern with men, they'll get the memo.
you should carry a pepper spray with you or any other weapon
Can’t carry pepper spray without a permit, and it’s heavily regulated. Actually I’d need a permit for pretty much any weapon and I could get into trouble of the police somehow found out I was carrying something.
you would get into trouble even if you have a permit?
Most likely. Most weapons are supposed to be treated as a hobby or collector’s item so if I were to have one outside for no reason, and the police found out, things could go bad. I’m not 100% clear about all the laws but all I know is that it’s difficult to acquire weapons purely for self-defense reasons and that they’re heavily regulated.
Good idea, I've been thinking of pepper spray for a while because I've been wslking around with blades and since I'm ex military I will use them to kill my attacker. But since all these new laws u can go to prison for even killing ur attacker. So I figured I can pepper spray the attacker then stab him in the leg.
I have kitchen knives small 5 inch blade, the heart is only about 10 to 15mm away from the skin. I still carry if the cops stop me I'll just be honest and I'll let them know what it's for to kill an attacker but her in Texas you can carry a blade that's a certain length. But any organ can be reached with a 5 inch to 3 inch blade try to hit the lungs legs and heart or neck eyes to. Worry about legality later, ur self defense is priority first
how can i get a downvote on this opinion? Lmaoo xD
by the way the new laws sucks a lot really.
i would advise you to not go out so late, and if you do, make sure you are on call with your dad, the whole time when you are out on streets, until you reach your home or somewhere safe
I’m glad nothing happened? Sorry, I’m not sure I saw the point of this story...
The point is whatever you want it to be. An interesting story. Something both men and women can learn from. How to handle a manipulative creep.