The Beauty and the Nightmare of Having No Life Goals

[PlsWork]

Hello, you.

This post will talk about life without goals, its cons and its pros. I might wonder off with the topic here and there, but I'll try to stay on track. I'm doing this myTake because I don't have anything other on my mind that I can think of that I'd rather do right now. Besides that, I'm hoping I'll meet some interesting people who will be able to open up my world and introduce me to some new things.

Without further a do, pick a comfortable spot to sit / lay and hopefully, you'll enjoy this, or at least get some insight about it.

Introduction

Hello. I'm Tobias and I'll be explaining to you how the planet spins for a person without life goals. Let's firstly clear some things up. Yes, I'm young, that might be the very reason why some people won't even touch this myTake, but I guess I'll just have to live with it. I can only guess a number of people will think that this is a phase and that I am wrong. Maybe. But as of right now, I'm not, so I'd like to share this with you.

How do I define "having no goals"?

I don't have goals in life. What does that mean? I do go to school and I do things that are considered normal. I only do those because they define the normal, and I don't want to deal with my parents in the case if I'd stay at home and not go to school. As far as hobbies go, I don't have any. When I finish school, I go straight home and when I get home, I just find ways to spend my time. That means me being on the internet the whole day. I'd say I don't do anything productive during that time, since I mostly watch videos just so I can get through the day. I don't suffer. I don't have depression. I usually have a positive outlook on life, it's just that I don't know of anything that would make me excited while doing it. I have zero interests about dating or any kinds of relationships. After all, I don't leave my room. The only thing I do in my free time is study enough so I get good grades. I'm an above average student if you were to compare me to my colleagues, but I don't think that matters. They probably have dreams to chase and thing that they enjoy doing in their free time, so they don't have enough time left to study. This brings me to my next point.

The pros and the cons.

To make it clear right now, I think that it's definitely worse to live like this compared to a "normal" life, especially in the long run.

Pros:

- I don't really care about things so I'm very rarely stressed out.

- I can act on impulse because there is nothing that would stop me.

- I don't have to work hard for anything because I don't care about anything.

- In the future, I won't have financial problems, because I'll be living single and spending all my time in a room, so there won't really be any expenses to cover.

-Not getting disappointed because I have no expectations.

Cons:

-Getting bored because there's nothing for me to live for.

-Envying other people that have goals in life (this happens rarely, since I don't care in most cases)

-Not living life to the fullest.

-Having a harder time dealing with problems because I have nobody to help me out.

-Not being to fit in in a social environment.

There are many more of both, but I'd say they stem from one of the above.

Everyday life.

I don't really have a "life" in the first place, but I'll try to make it interesting. I'd say I can appreciate life for what it is and look at it and see it's beauty. That always makes me daydream, and daydreaming is the only thing that would qualify as being enjoyable. Although I thought about it, thing that I daydream about can't be seen as my goals in life because they are always about something alien, completely impossible in the real world. So how would this life look like, you may be wondering. I'll explain how my day goes by, but I'll skip everyday things, like showering, eating, going to school in my case, and such. Let's say it's a weekend day.

Imagine waking up in a room with a single window. That window is the light source, but you don't want to see what is on the other side of it. On the other side of the room there's a door which you could open, but you don't want to. You'd rather stay where you are. Now you go to turn on your computer. You realize that you're home alone and it makes you extremely happy. The more people there are close to you, the less you are enjoying yourself. On the pc, there's a clock. You know that when that clock reaches a certain point, you will go back to sleep and wake up the next day, doing the same thing, waiting on the clock to tell you that you can go to sleep.

This pc that you're on is connected to the internet. You mostly use youtube and watch videos. You'll watch almost anything, because you just want the day to go by quicker. Nothing motivates you do take any kind of action on your own life, besides, you're where you want to be, where it's safe... your room. The videos you watch are irrelevant. About half the day is gone, and you lay on your bed. When you glance out the window, you can only see the sky, which slowly starts to make you dreamy. You start thinking about things, things that are completely weird and unusual, thing that are not possible to do. But you enjoy thinking about those things. A few hours pass and you wake up in the evening. You go back on your pc, watch a few videos, than go back to sleep. The next day is more or less the same.

Self awareness

As you can tell, I know that my situation is not the best, but hey, it's how I've been living my life for the most part and it probably won't change. I want to bring up something exclusive here. It's about things that you would most likely have a goal for, if you had one. This can range and it could really be anything. in my case, it's about life in Japan. If anything I feel like that would be my goal. To live there. But I don't want to leave where I currently am. I have no skills so I could never be there anyway and on top of that, I don't speak the language. Anyway, it doesn't matter what it is. It's the feeling you get when you see something about it and start thinking of it. It's this chilling wave of you knowing that you will never get to experience it mixed with a feeling not wanting to, topped of with seeing the bigger picture and realizing how poorly you're living your life. At the same time, it makes me really sad and really happy. On one hand, I think about it and imagine things, which makes me sad, but than, I convince myself that I would have nothing to do there as well as I don't have anything to do here, so that fear / sadness transforms into a deep void, which you cannot fill, but you also don't have a reason to. In the end of the day it doesn't really matter, because I'll forget about it until the next morning.

Is it a condition?

My judgment tells me no. I don't think it's something a person is born with. This may be shocking to some, but I think that it's something a person chooses. I can't see myself actually living a life where I'd wake up and throughout the whole day be reminded of the things that I look forward to achieving. To be honest, it seems very scary and I don't think I'd be able to deal with it. It feels like I'm choosing the "easy way out", which I kind of am, but it comes with downsides, one of the biggest ones being boredom. It's a feeling that sometimes gets so strong that I cannot describe with words. I don't want to go to any doctors about this because as I said, it would be silly. It's something I chose and I don't want to change it, so visiting someone to "help" me wouldn't really be something I'd want.

Ending thoughts.

I know I'm not doing the right thing right now, but at the same time, I also know I'm not capable of living the right way, if you could call it that. Maybe I should have mentioned this earlier, but this post was not made because I'd want you to feel bad for me. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I wanted to bring forth some things that you might not think about and so that you can see how a person like me thinks. As you can see, it was not connected to harming myself or anything similar, so it's not bad, although some people would think that it is. I'm enjoying life, but I'm not enjoying living life, if that makes much sense at all.

I don't see a reason to prolong this post any more, so I'll leave it here. I hope you got something out of this, but my ultimate goal was achieved. I'm about to go to sleep and doing this, I felt more productive than I would watching youtube.

Goodbye

(this is here because it has to be)

[ENTP_EMO]

this is here because it has to be

[PlsWork]

At least someone clicked on this

[ENTP_EMO]

DW you exist. I actually read most of it if that means anything