Some people go through more painful events in their lives than others. Awful things happen. Dreadful circumstances will affect all of our lives at some point and it’s okay to cry and mope around, but at some point, you must let go of the past.
This Take isn't meant to make fun of other people's pain. I have loads of self pity. It is a problem.
It is the Most Destructive Emotion
More than pride, which is supposedly the number one of the cardinal sins - is self pity. Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It destroys everything around it, except itself. Self pity will destroy relationships, it'll destroy anything that's good, it will leave only itself.
It's so easy to imagine that things are unfair, that you would be happier if only this. And some of them may even be true. But to have self pity as a result of them is to self destruct.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself -and you will be happy. It sounds so simple but it's not easy to stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's bloody hard. Because we do feel sorry for ourselves, all the time.
― Stephen Fry
It Wastes Time
The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone. Humans are interesting creatures. I've never seen a wild animal feeling sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a cold night without ever having felt sorry for itself.(-D.H. Lawrence)
You can't tell how long it takes. Later, looking back at the time you spent crying the corner, you'll learn that feeling sorry for yourself didn't work. It doesn't work. You'll just abandon your ambitions.
It is Addictive
“Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So, nobody even notices you're hurting.” -Paul Monette
Self pity is addictive, it gives momentary pleasure and separates you from reality. It's awful to be caught up in that trapped, cage of self pity.
It Furthurs the Anguish
The most useless of all human emotions is self-pity. When you pity yourself, al you're thinking about is yourself. When you have problems, all you see are your problems and that's all you talk about. But you won't be able to see the good things in your life.
You tell your sad story to yourself in your head, over and over, and feel sorry for yourself, and your identity becomes someone who is being treated unfairly by life. It defines you.
Making your pain the central focus of your thoughts just exploits it.
It is Unattractive
People should monitor their self pity. It is self absorbed. All self-pity stems from self love. Self-compassion is the reason why you will feel sorry for yourself. Stop looking in the mirror, inside yourself, looking for things to feel sorry for. There is no use.
You can't change the past. If you go through a hard time, self pity won't help anything.
"So go ahead and cry and mope and feel sorry for yourself and stay in bed all day. Feel the pain and the hurt. Live your reality and misery. It’s okay and even healthy to do that. But then let it go!
Don’t let it consume your life. You are not alone or unloved. Remember there are other people in your life who need you. There are people you haven’t even met yet who need you! You can’t help anyone else if you only see yourself." -Deborah Shelby
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