Why Being Popular in High School is Not as Great as You Think

[Katherine1105]

1. You can't keep your private life private anymore.

Even though we may look at celebrities and wish we were them, once you’re them, you will realize that privacy is not a thing in their lives anymore. In high school, people gossip about the hottest and most popular girl and guy in school, who they hooked up with, or what they did. Sometimes, things happen that they know want people to know about, but here, once someone knows about it, soon everyone will know. At the school I go to, gossip and rumors spread faster than wild fire. Now, it has gotten to the point where I can’t even tell my trusted, best friends about my secrets without being totally sure that there’s absolutely no one around, because there has been too many times of people hiding nearby, and purposely eavesdropping, then excitedly gushing about what they've heard and spreading it. There’s almost nothing I can do or say that goes unnoticed, and I can't do anything without everyone else knowing about it.

2. Expectations.

People expect me to be a mean girl, and date the hottest and most popular guy at school. They expect me to ignore and overlook the nerds, geeks, and the quiet ones, and only hang out and associate with the other rather popular students. They expect me to wear the latest trends, and thousand dollars shoes, everything designer, flawless makeup… In certain situations, I am expected to act a specific way and do certain things. For our school’s winter formal, when the hottest and most popular guy asked me out, and I declined, they were shocked. They expect me to care a lot about my social status and other trifle things that don't actually matter to me that much in reality.

3. Some people are actually afraid of you.

I have heard that there are some people that are actually afraid to just come up and talk to me. They think that I’ll laugh at them or something. People don't understand that even though I’m popular, I’m not necessarily like Regina George. A lot of people are afraid to even say hi or wave to me in the halls, even though I had never really been mean or sabotaged anyone. One time I stopped a girl in the hallway to compliment her necklace, and she looked quite frightened. Whenever someone has a disagreement with me, we never actually argue because the other person always gives up their argument voluntarily.

4. The gossips and rumors.

The rumors are terrible and cruel, but the thing about rumors is that they’re mostly not true. If you’re the “IT” girl, people will gossip about you. A lot. Sometimes, people make up rumors to somehow get more attention to themselves, which is why I hate anyone who spreads false rumors. People whisper in the hallways and look at you, and since I haven’t done anything shaming, I know that the gossips reflecting badly on me are lies. The people around you don't even feel like they need to talk about you privately, and everything I do, people find out about it somehow. People will stare and think they know what's going on when they really don't. It is true, popular high school kids do have scandalous lives.

5. People don’t really know you for who you really are, instead, they know you for who they think and wish you are.

I think this one is pretty self explanatory considering my other points.

[themetalhead]

see this is why I usually never get why people in high school care about being so popular. school's more important anyway! most "popular" people I've been around tend to have a more bitchy attitude around me, probably because I'm one of the people that would prefer not always being the center of attention lol

[themetalhead]

thanks for mho XD

[BigGuy8]

I always laugh at the popular kids from high school still in their home town trying to keep that popularity alive, while the rest of us moved on and grew up. Some people never outgrow high school.

[White_Widow]

Why do you think you should act this way? No one is forcing you, you have chosen to do so. You could choose to be yourself and say F*K you to all. No, instead you write a Mytake saying being populair isn't that great? How do you think the people feel who actually are frightened and intimidated by you? Can you even remotely imagine what school is like for them? You should open your eyes and start thinking for yourself instead of walking with the crowd.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

To be fair, she is saying that she deviates from their expectations.
Not her fault that everyone else tries to put this on her due to materialistic reasons.

[White_Widow]

@FýrdracaDócincel My comment wasn't necessary just meant for her, but in general. Popular people choose to stay popular. And they themselves have a chance to change that.

And as I read the Take,
Except for turning a guy down there is nowhere stated she doesn't live up to their expectations. Just that she doesn't care about such things in reality.
I could can be wrong, I'd like to be wrong.

[Katherine1105]

You are sort of wrong.

[White_Widow]

Okay, "sort of"
Then I read it wrong, I'm sorry, although I wished you'd given me a little more then "sort of"
I'll say this then, keep going against their expectations, be yourself. It's a pain, but your in school to learn, not to make friends. It's good you see the fact that people around you expect certain things from certain people, just remember you are you and you are OK. You need to make your own decisions and think for yourself. No matter what other people say or want from you. And never be afraid to be yourself.

[Katherine1105]

I just don't get why some of the non-popular kids are afraid to even say hi to me.

[White_Widow]

Look at the picture you used, does it look inviting to come up and say "Hi!"?
In my days of hs, going in discussion with one of the popular kids was avoided because if we'd win the discussion the repercussions where way worse, winning was the same as embarrassing the popular kids and wasn't taken lightly. We would get beat downs in the hallway or after school around the corner. I'm not saying you are the same (or it's the same at your school), but even saying hi could bring way worse things upon "non-popular" kids so they tend avoid you.

[Katherine1105]

How can I change that? Show them that I'm not some mean girl and get them to see who I really am?

[White_Widow]

Try to be yourself even if that means going against your friends, either they respect you for it, or they'll let you down and you can see it never really where true friends. Try to not to divide people in groups, "populair" or "non populair". Maybe that's hard, but everyone is in the same boat, being in school, having hormones, being awkward. Treat everyone like you want to be treated. Hope it helps. Good luck!

[EvanR]

Huh, well as a non-popular and shy guy back in HS I ALWAYS felt like I was being looked down upon. Sure they'd talk to me once in a while but only to get answers for homework. Being unpopular I really only talked to my group of close friends. Also never knew of any gals that liked me because if they did, they'd get teased because of it.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Being popular means being social and having friends, people to talk to, and you likely won't be lonely or bored. People probably recognize you as being popular and look to you, influencing their own perspectives/decisions.

[Djaay]

I agree...

[ariadneR]

In highschool i was in the "nerd" category. School band, school prefect, worked on student council, was on the girls rugby team too.
My cousin was in the popular group. She was ashamed of me. Everyone loved her, couldnt believe we were cousins, let alone live in the same house. My brothers and i got harassed all the time and teased by her friends.

Fast forward to now - our friends that we had then are still our friends - she has none and is not doing too well for herself.

[Charleslvajr]

Funny how that works isn't it?

[UnaKaizen]

no. all you mentioned can happen whether popular or not.

its not great bc it gives you false views of how life will be. popular people in h. s. often peak, in high school.

[Katherine1105]

Yes, I do peak, but then people really don't see you for who you really are, people gossip about me all the time, and I'm not there everytime to say what's true and what's not.

[Charleslvajr]

Funny I hear the same complaint from nerds and geeks who get shit on by the popular jocks. Not to mention being beat up, bullied, lied about and used when the popular ones can't keep up.
Your experiences are yours but by no means unique.

[UnaKaizen]

@Charleslvajr same thing happens to 'unpopular' more so bc people assume negative things and dont give them a chance. at least if a popular person ants to revel and be themselves they are heard.

[Charleslvajr]

That's my point miss. If a popular person thinks being popular is so tough they should try being the asthmatic, coke bottle glasses wearing science geek for a while and it won't feel like torture any longer.

[Anonymous]

From my experience popular kids are just a group of friends that are good looking. Most of the guys are nice and the girls are friendly, although some can be bitches. I talked to a lot of people and was fairly well liked so I guess it didn't affect me. But no popular people aren't some evil class of people, other people put them on pedestals for god only knows why, mainly the girls that is.

[winterfox10]

This is really true! I can't tell you how many times I had other people's imaginations project their crap onto me. My reputation ended up being what other people thought about themselves. It was very strange.

[Sienna-Rose]

In my high school, being popular was just mostly being sociable and friendly towards everyone of all groups.

[soccerchick4eva]

These points are very true, but in some circumstances popularity just also is the sort of people that get a long with everyone and not the mean sort of version. It varies a lot these days :) nice take

[zagor]

The really popular girls when I was in HS were the ones who were genuinely nice to everyone, even though they were attractive and popular. Even to the nerds and socially awkward.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I wish I didn't give a fuck about my "status" in high school and just did my own thing. It's so pathetic.. holding yourself back because everyone else around you has their heads shoved up their asses.

[BlueWaffleLover]

I almost feel sorry for people whose lives peaked in high school. In the later years you can look at their Facebook and realize that every other post is them reminiscing about something that happened in the 10th grade. It's kind of pathetic.

[Anonymous]

noone with a proper IQ cares about that stuff. and most of these school celebs become losers later in life.

[Katherine1105]

I disagree.

[Opinion Owner]

ok honey. still doesn't change the facts of life.

[Katherine1105]

Those are not at all "facts of life".

[Anonymous]

I think i was popular when i was in hs... But i didn't know it, lot of people know about me, but i dunno them... They gossiped about me, i heard them talk about me a lot during lunch. I dunno why i was popular tho -.-

[QCpress]

Being popular gor me in high school was lit. All your problems sound like you have low self esteem

[AlwaysBelieving]

Interesting. I can't imagine being in high school now since it seems like everything is on the net for all to see. I'm glad I got most of the stuff out of my system before YouTube.

[Anonymous]

On the other hand, popularity gets you more social opportunities, more friends, more dates, hotter dates, more sex, and a stronger professional network leading to better job opportunities and more money. So all in all, popular > not popular.

[ovi2boss]

There is bad popularity also

[Opinion Owner]

@ovi2boss True, but the right kind is HUGELY valuable if you know how to handle it and use it well.

[ovi2boss]

Yes is the glory period use it as it last.

[Anonymous]

I was popular in high school and it was great. I enjoyed my years in school (elementary, high school & college) a lot.

[MysteriousDarkness]

That also happens to people who are not so called popular.

[hotstuffSRD]

Damn this is so accurate
Like every word of it
Can relate a lot

[Katherine1105]

Thank you!

[hotstuffSRD]

Pleasure !