Understanding Self-Destructive Behavior

Hiii , this Take is not based on facts it is purely my opinion on self-destructive behavior and how (based on experience ) I believe people become self-destructive. Thank you and enjoy xx 🤗

Have you ever realized that one of your behaviors was causing you more harm than good?

Have you then promised yourself you would stop with this behavior but within an hour or a day found yourself engaging in this behavior again ? This is called self-destructive behavior.

Understanding Self-Destructive Behavior

What is self-destructive behavior ?

Self-destruction is usually defined as “the voluntary destruction of something by itself.” In human personality terms it can be said to be something that provides pleasure and relief in the short term, but in the long term it gets in the way of you being able to enjoy your life to the fullest .

These behaviors include: *Alcohol/drug abuse

*Eating disorders

*Compulsive computer gaming

*Gaming

*Self-Injury

*Smoking

*Gambling

Understanding Self-Destructive Behavior

How do people become self-destructive ?

If you struggle with this behavior you were probably born with the tendency to feel emotions a little more strongly than others . And unfortunately you may also have grown up in an environment that wasn’t always kind to these emotions . These may include :

*Extreme experiences such as physical abuse , neglect, continuous criticism.

*Experiences with family member who discourage expression of emotion.

*Experiences outside the home, such as bullying at school, abuse by caretaker etc

Understanding Self-Destructive Behavior

If you were born with the tendency to feel strong emotions and you kept finding yourself in situations that were emotionally painful, you probably tried to ‘switch off’ your emotions in order not to feel . But over time felt you needed additional help with ‘turning off’ the emotions.

Self-destruction is addictive

When the behavior brings only temporary relief the person will have feelings of increased guilt and increased need to gain control . This fear of losing control is what makes self-destruction habitual and addictive.

Understanding Self-Destructive Behavior

Signs of self-destructive behavior

*Telling lies to create a mask of being in control

*Secretiveness to hide behavior

*Wanting to be alone

*Breakdown In relationships

*Suicidal thoughts

Treatment

Someone who is self-destructive can be helped by unmasking the issues and addressing them.

*Psychotherapy

*Learning coping skills such as relaxation for example meditation

*Learning to replace negative thinking with positive thoughts.

Understanding Self-Destructive Behavior

If you struggle with self-destructive behavior and you ever need someone to talk to I’m here to listen xx 💗


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Thought provoking indeed,
    I agree with it on the most part, except for causes, only in that I feel they can be disturbingly more varied.
    I've personally been somewhat of a selfpunisher for a long time, from simple sabotage of my friendships to serious selfharm and in the past abusing booze and the reasons are stupidly complex, I'm still not "normal" but no longer express it in life ruining or overly toxic ways, doubt I'll ever be completely non toxic to myself but if anyone struggles with this take me for example that flow change is possible

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is a lot of research that has been done on the triggers behind destructive, addictive behavior. Currently, (and my own first-hand, as well as second-hand, experiences testify to this) studies are showing that the triggers are needs-based (as in social needs, such as the need to feel acceptable within your community, or even to yourself), and the addiction specifically may be selected based on predispositions. For instance, your marriage is falling apart and you have a predisposition to enjoy repetitive behaviors, so you fall deep into puzzle gaming.

    It has to do with the release of endorphins. Interacting with friends, partners, children, animals, and actions such as eating when hungry, even defecation, trigger endorphin releases that reward us for accomplishing those actions. It makes those tasks enjoyable so that we'll do them, because they're healthy to do. Our own perceptions of a situation can change how our body responds in these scenarios, however. So if you're an adolescent who believes your parents don't love you, whether they do or not, every interaction with your parents then feels strained, which causes you to seek some sort of security. Today that security is often found in games or food. In adults it's often alcohol or drugs.

    Every addiction you listed releases the same endorphins we get when we have positive social experiences. The body craves those experiences, so when we can't have them we turn to something that will at least give us the endorphin boost we need to feel alright in our lives. Of course, when we're not actually alright this just turns into a cycle of feeling bad because our needs aren't met, and then turning to the pacifier.

    I, personally, only managed to overcome self-destructive behavior after successfully substituting the addiction's endorphin release with the release associated with positive social interaction. I. e. I landed myself a good husband and learned how to express myself in a way people could understand. I was severely neglected as a child, so the trigger for my behavior was a lack of attachment and a lack of feeling capable of being heard, as well as several other things. Positive thinking naturally manifested after this change.

    As for emotional dysregulation, that, for me, came from never learning how to regulate my moods. I was endlessly told it was an irreversible side-effect of my abuse and neglect, but it's something you can still learn as an adult.

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    • This is really interesting xx thank you. I find this topic very interesting as it is something I have struggled with myself for a very long time aswell. I will definitely continue researching self-destruction and addiction

    • No problem. I'm also fascinated by it. It was a big part of my life and the lives of so many I've known. Continuing to research and experiment is the best we can do. :) Good luck!

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What Guys Said 24

  • Let's see: I get a thrill of 100 on mountain roads and jumping tracks (its a rental), walking or sailing in lightning/thunderstorms, being lost or stranded in the desert or on the ocean, an unknown risky woman... Hey your not going to live forever.

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  • I'm either too happy which some claim could give me a heart attack because my laughs are loud and long or I'm very angry that I seek violence to relieve myself from bottling up my rage and that violence will get me killed.

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  • Is gaming a sign of self destruction? For me, it isn't. I do it to present getting destroyed lol.

    And the thing of wanting to be alone... I like being alone or being very selective social as my brain works faster than all those mainstream idiots. Being alone give me time for exquisite thinking which I am unable to do with people. I have to lower my brains to talk and understand them. It's better to be alone and focus on yourself rather than being around useless people. That's how it works out for me. Can be different for others.

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    • Yea some people drink one glass of wine for enjoyment,, others drink 2 bottles to hurt themselves. The same with gaming ,, you probably don’t play continually for days and nights without food or sleep... those people do it purposefully to hurt themselves.

    • Show All
    • Then all I can say is that it's upto the understanding of the individual. I had terrible, way terrible times too but the sooner you get good with yourself the better.

    • I guess haha 😂👍🏻 Thanks for the comment

  • Yup earlier porn addiction but after understanding it is garbage I m overcoming it

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    • That’s great 👍🏻 An addiction is very hard to overcome. What are you doing to get better?

    • Just deep understanding and learning new new things like recently learnt to ride bike and adding new languages , eyc

  • I love being alone, so I don't know that it's necessarily a real sign of self-destructive behavior, I'm genuinely a pretty happy guy.

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    • it's never just "one trait" that makes a person who they are, it is if you have or show multiple signs that he/she/they listed above that makes a person potentially self destructive.

    • @c0ral_reef Yeah, I know. I just wanted to speak up for those of us that enjoy being alone simply because we like solitude.

  • Not going to lie.. that accurately describes the way i used to be (without the psycho therapy part)

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  • I personal think the huge pressure people face in industrial society would be a significant factor for activating such behavior but i believe the process in neurology will help us in dealing with these problems.

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  • I'm self-destructive and globally destructive but treatment sounds like a lot of work lol.

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  • I understand how everything else is self-destructive behavior but gaming seems to be the odd one out. In my experience, it has done me more good than harm and many studies think so too. They are great ways to reduce emotional and even physical pain. They even allow me to connect and engage in activities with childhood friends no matter the distance. In terms of the aggression factor, you get at most the same amount of aggression from video games as you get from trying to solve a hard math problem. They peter out after a while. Losing track of time is the only bad thing I get from it.

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  • Nice take and i am denfinatly addicted to it heck i want more self destructive things.

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  • Great Mytake.

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  • Self-destructive women are hot.

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    • First, they do what I call "desperation sex"--and for a man like me, who finds giving pleasure to be highly erotic, their every response to my style is a turn-on. They are usually quite surprised at how "different" I am in bed from what they are used to. It gets them hornier. Thus, a feedback loop.

      Second, I have always been attractive to "alternative" looking women, and self-destructive behavior and an "alternative" look very often go hand-in-hand.

      Third, I adore nurturing and teaching. So, add to that sexuality, and BOOM!

      That being said, I wasn't predatory about it. I'm now married (to a woman who has self-destructive tendencies), but we're growing alongside each other, together, and with each other.

  • Nice take. thanks...

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    • Thank you xxxx

    • Its nice to read something that is not related to the size of a mans appendage. You made some good points. xxxx

  • Good job.

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  • l am very normal its so sad to be like that

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  • I might be self destructive or just lazy

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  • Awesome 😊👏👏👏👏

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  • I'm sure you can fix everybody. ;)

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  • Send me message goddess. 🙏🙏

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What Girls Said 10

  • I feel as though a lot of people have self-destructive behaviour.. to add another example to your list, procrastination. Procrastination leads to increased stress and then you become even more self-destructive by hating yourself for it. Thanks for the my take, you consistently make good observations of the world around you. Keep it up.

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  • Yeah after my ex commited suicide i enjoy being self-destructive. Feel like thats the right Lifestyle for me right now. I dont take it too far though. In a way i want to come out of it actually especially when i meet happy and inspiering sucessfull People.

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  • Have you ever seen the movie or read the book Annihilation?

    I'd never really thought of self destruction as a habit until I saw the movie, with Natalie Portman.

    I think I self destruct relationships. And I'm trying to understand why and stop this behavior because I want to be happy in the end.

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    • No but I’m definitely going to watch it now , thank you xx I do the same thing , I push away people I get close to.

  • As a person with mental disorders, you are mistaken in many of your points here

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    • This is how I experience my disorder and my opinion on how I think I developed my self-destructive behavior. I’m sure not everyone experiences things in the same way.

  • Thank you for this helpful and informative take. It makes me think of the book "push" by sapphire.

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  • I find that most people don’t even realize if someone has self-destructive behaviour. Someone could be hurting and no one would even realize. It makes sense that people who are more emotional are more prone to these kinds of things.

    Personally, I can relate. I’ve always been super emotional (something I’ve grown to hate especially with the same temper as my dad). As a result, I’ve tried suppressing my emotions a lot. I remember when i started to self-harm, no one even noticed. I had changed from being super happy and probably more outgoing to someone who didn’t really talk to anyone, sad and easily annoyed but no one had noticed this and wondered why. Just once to see if anyone in my family noticed, I even left blood on my hand from a small cut and I left it there for a whole day. No one in my family even noticed and to this day still haven’t noticed.

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  • Nice take

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  • Good take 🙂👍🏽

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  • I come from a very neglectful home, and I’m constantly degraded. I’m a massive self harm addict, use to cut myself every day. My parents found out and they literally did nothing, which really upset me. Because I wanted someone to help, I wanted someone to talk to me and tell me it was gonna be okay. After all they are my parents... but they didn’t. They just made fun of me for my scars. “Oh you’re gonna regret those once the summer comes.” “Why do you even bothering trying to hide them everyone can tell you’re depressed.” And then this October I tried to commit suicide, which followed by them making fun of me for that too. I turned to drugs and alcohol, and random strangers to help ease my pain, and my parents still don’t bat an eye at any of my problems. They blame me for everything... Most self destructive people come from families that treat them like absolute shit, so they spend their lives trying to get their parents attention and the only way to do that is for them to hurt themselves. I always hid it from them, because I didn’t want them to know but I did at the same time.

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  • Very good thanks for ur hard work

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