Girl's Behavior

Self Harm - My Take, My Story

Self harm -my take , my story



There I was pounding the hell out of a normal shaving razor. I was 13, desperately trying to remove the little scrap of metal inside the razor. I didn't need to shave, I needed pain. I took out the razor and pulled up my sleeve. I was ready.


I had heard about people doing self harm and cutting and burning themselves, but I had always thought they were just crazy or even stupid. There I was standing In the kitchen. Weeks before, I had started scratching my arms until they would leave big red scratches or sometimes even bleed. I don't blame anything that had happened to me prior to cause the self inflicted wounds, except for myself. My mother was a young 17 year old when she had me. I had always been a happy child and never felt lonely until my younger sister was born. Everyone always focused their attention to cute little Abby and I was left in the shadow. The small shadow of my perfect little sister. The little sister who would go on to be a dancer, and a singer, and be pretty. There's no doubt about it. My little was pretty. She had a beautiful dark blond hair that was easy to manage. My hair wasn't. I always struggled to get the knots and tangles out and it was a regular dark brown. She was pretty, fair skinned, and had beautiful hair , with gorgeous grey eyes. On the other hand, I was olive skinned , ugly, and had dark brown hair with tangles, and regular colored eyes. I wasn't very loving with my mother, I wouldn't just wake up one morning and go give her a hug, but my sister would. I grew up this way, for 8 years.


The only thing that had changed was that now I was the house maid. Everything that had to be done, every chore, every pot needing scrubbing, was done by me. My cute little sister who was now 8, never lifted a single finger. Never appreciated all the things that I did for her, and never gave me credit for anything. I was now being given the orders from my mom "to clean Abby's room; help Abby with her hw help Abby stretch". I had to help with everything and I was sick of it. I spent a whole year cutting and slicing my skin everywhere all over my body .


The day my mother and sister saw them was the worst day of my life. My sister had spilled tea on the floor and I now had to mop it up in front of my mother. She screamed at me over and over telling me to lift up my sleeves so I could mop properly. When I did , she saw all my cuts, all my scars, everything. Guess what she did next. She beat me. Yep that's right. I got a beating for hurting myself because I thought I was worthless. That's like pointing aa gun at someone who has a gun to their own head. The only thing that got me to escape was my best friend.


Now I'm 18 and haven't cut for almost 4 years. I'm proud to say that I stopped the never ending cycle and hope to help others that were like me. I still have scars that will never fade, but I'm proud of them. I'm glad that I can show that I've been through tough times and am still here today.


I just want to say, I'm not looking for sympathy, just want to tell that other girl stuck in a never ending circle that she will be okay.

Self Harm - My Take, My Story
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