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How I Evolved From A "Push-Over" To "Assertive"

Before I started doing all these, I was this very shy (nothing wrong with being shy, you can be shy and still assertive) girl that eventually people would treat like a push-over. I hated that and wanted to change it. So I took action.

Here are my tips on finding the confidence that is already inside you. "Fake it till you make it" can only help you to some extend. Building the true inner confidence takes a little bit more time:

1- Read. Anything.

Do you know what makes one incredibly irresistible? Intelligence.
Do you know what makes one incredibly irresistible? Intelligence.

Spare half an hour of worrying over your looks to reading a few pages everyday.

Don't limit yourself only to fiction. Indulge in different topics to improve your general knowledge.

If you find reading boring:

There are a great deal of YT channels out there which give you basic ideas about certain topics. Get started there first. BUT at some point you have to start reading, my friend. Trust me, it will also improve your speech and gradually make you sound more intelligent and therefore more confident.

2- Find Your Signature Look

You don't necessarily have to look badass. Just feel like yourself in your clothes.
You don't necessarily have to look badass. Just feel like yourself in your clothes.

- Figure out your body-type. This will help you find the best style for you. (There are actually over 10 types of bodies. If you want the link, let me know.)

- Figure out your face shape. It will help you find the haircut, sunglasses, (and make-up if you are into it) that suit you the best!

- Figure out your skin undertone. This one will tell you what colors make you stand out the most.

Next, pick:

>1 dress,

>1 shirt

>1 pair of pants

in your wardrobe that you feel the most comfortable in and that you feel like you get the most compliments when you wear them. Those are probably what works for you the best.

Next time you are shopping, find clothes with similar or the same in style as those you picked. Make them your signature style.

3- Learn how to pose

How I Evolved From A

This one is silly and it works:

Once a week, stand in front of the mirror and act like you are a model on the red carpet. Or imagine you are in a photo-shoot and and try to pose like a model would.

SCREW every little detail that you don't like about your body and act the role of a model that is doing her/his job. Find your good photogenic sides.

This is about "feeling" good inside about your appearance at the moment.

4- Invisible Cloak

Different standing postures
Different standing postures

Do you sometimes notice that you are slouching too much all day long? We do it without even realizing it. Slouching is your number 1 enemy!

Be aware and change your slouching position immediately when you realize it. Act like there is an "invisible cloak" over your shoulders. You will IMMEDIATELY feel more powerful.

Shoulders up, head high. Make this a habit and next time you enter a room, you will see the change. ;)

5- Find Your Signature Scent

Your taste in fragrances can affect how people view you, even how you view yourself.
Your taste in fragrances can affect how people view you, even how you view yourself.

Don't wear something that smells good. Wear something that would make people beg you to not leave beside them. Find the one perfume that smells incredibly amazing on your type of skin and it will become your signature scent.

P.S: This will take a long time, I've only found an "almost perfect" perfume for me but I'm still working on finding "the one".

6- Pick One Thing You Are Most Passionate About

And specialize on it. It is different than a hobby. This one should be something you can't do without. Mine is learning languages and I stick to it everyday. It opens up great conversations with people and makes me feel more confident.

How I Evolved From A

7- Say No

Don't say yes to things you don't like just to please people.
Don't say yes to things you don't like just to please people.

This will take more time and practice. How I started?

I stopping being shy just for a moment when I wanted to say no to something. When I realized it wasn't the end of the world, I started doing it more and more everyday. Then, I realized:

People stopped treating me like a push over and actually started to respect me more. (Being shy doesn't mean being a push over but people take it that way most of the time).

Learn to be assertive at the right time. Being nice and being kind are two different things. You can still be nice when saying no.

8- Never Break Promises

Never bail on people and always act fair. Bonus point would be to stopping to gossip.

Things like this will gain you more and more respect.

***

It's not about changing yourself. It's all about finding out what type of personality traits you have deep down and embracing them, working on them and becoming a better version of yourself.

How I Evolved From A "Push-Over" To "Assertive"
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