The Side-effect of Being a Strong and Independent Person

To be Strong and Independent 💪

This is about both men and women, but I will dig a little deeper into the strong an independent women to begin with.

I have read some guys here bash independent women. They might say that those women does not want any relationship because they aren't in need to commit. That in fact has nothing to do with being independent. To put it shortly: an independent person doesn't need anyone, because they are a complex person and have their own life - BUT they do want to be with someone too.

The Side-effect of Being a Strong and Independent Person

Not just anyone of course. In fact, that is the reason I think an independent persons love is more reliable than a dependent persons. They don't need you but they still choose to live with you - because they want you.

The saying "a strong and Independent woman" has a little negative rattle in it. It is often used with irony or a dash of sarcasm. When it comes to real independent and strong women they are often not being told to be that. Those women know they are that, but they do not have to walk around and yell it on the streets. Being strong on the inside will show even on the outside. Everyone will notice it - and this is what I think is the curse.

Tilly from the movie the Dressmaker
Tilly from the movie the Dressmaker

The Curse in It 🔥

When everyone notices you are independent and strong, they think they can act like shit. Yes, often it goes like that. Not always, because sometimes people appreciate those qualities and tries to show it. The ones who do not appreciate it too much are putting their worst behavior on the strong people. They think those are the ones who can take all of it. Of course a strong and independent person knows when to walk away and what to put up with and what not to, but it is not like they would not still feel bad. It is not like anyone - even the strongest guys - can take all the crap all the time.

We'll, they say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I want to say that this is partly true, because it is. We grow from our mistakes and learn from them. When it comes to someone else's mistakes I am not so sure if they always has the same impact on us.

Bullying, for example, makes even the strongest person collapse at one point. People have an impact on each other, and often it is bigger than we think.

The Side-effect of Being a Strong and Independent Person

Not to say that this is the curse of being independent and strong. No, this is just a part of it. The hardest part is dating. To put it bluntly: people tend to have either this idealistic picture of an independent person or the negative picture of them. So when it comes to dating they will either think the independent person is out of their league or then they see them as assholes.

Why It is a Good thing

Everyone of us knows that there are bad effects on being an strong an independent person. If the person is otherwise a bad person, being strong and independent will not change it for the better.

The Side-effect of Being a Strong and Independent Person

But there are a lot of good in it too, and to be a complete human being who enjoys their life fully I think you need to be both strong and independent. We are all growing to be a person like that. If we are good otherwise too, we get to grow even more amazing with the courage to be us without having to depend on others.

A strong and independent person has been the vulnerable and dependent person before. They have went through much since then. And they have grown and learnt. So in a way they are wiser. Maybe not on all levels, but emotionally they have some experience that has left its mark. It is a sign of living life fully. When you do not expect anything from others you will find happiness.

An independent person knows their worth and will not settle for anything less, that might be seen as a curse too. I see it as a power.

The Side-effect of Being a Strong and Independent Person

Thank you for reading! ⚡


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What Guys Said 11

  • sorry, every independent woman I've ever met wanted to either stay single or find a sniveling wimp guy they could boss around
    i happen to prefer strong independent women, the last thing i want is someone that has to be fully taken care of, a leaner type person they are called, need someone to lean on and hold them up

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  • Only insecure women bother to write shit like this. At 23 years old, you have no idea of what strong and independent really means or requires. You seem to be still recovering from a bad relationship...

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  • I've never understood the use of the word "strong" in this context.

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    • Emotionally strong means that you are able to say no to lust or emotions if you know those will only hurt you in the end. It is knowing your limits and knowing you will survive. Able to withstand pressure too.

    • I think most people associate it with physical strength for the most part.

  • The whole "strong and independent" term comes from insecurity. Where I live, I've never met anyone who uses that term. This is something I've only come across on the Internet, and it's used by women mostly from American and a couple countries in Europe. The characteristics of a "strong independent person" is just a normal person to me. Having a job, taking care of yourself, thinking/making decisions on your own, dealing with adversity in life aren't special qualities. Almost every single person is like that. So maybe it's a cultural differences or something. But I don't get why people feel the need to say it, apart from insecurity and they need to feel good about themselves. Otherwise it's not an amazing quality, because it's a quality everyone supposed to have, and the vast majority of people are like that in real life.

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    • I see that you haven't completely understood what it means. And I also told in the beginning of this take that real strong and independent persons won't have to tell they are that. They won't. It will show.

      Being strong and independent is much more than the things showing on the outside. In my opinion it is more of a spiritual thing than a concrete one. Being in balance with your own self. And yes, everyone should strive after it and we are all growing to be that eventually. So in a way, yes, everyone is able to be that and should be that. But not everyone achieve that state of mind and not everyone is that at the moment.

    • That's just being normal human being.

    • What actually is? Is there some norm? what is that?

  • you are a strong woman and so freeand I like high selfish people like this. escapes from difficulties

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    • What are you talking about?
      It isn't selfish, how do you think it affects others that the person knows their worth and lives their own life? It doesn't. Everyone will be happier. Arrogant and overly confident people might be seen as selfish people. That's not the same thing though.

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    • ı dont speak englısh

    • Haha, that's okey. ✨💚

  • thats all of me that you are saying in your take l just love it so very true every thing that you say thank you

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  • Lovely, I liked reading, I hope you are a strong and independent woman.

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  • Very nice. I totally read all of it 😤

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  • its good

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  • Great take

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  • I'm sorry but when I hear a woman say she is "strong and independent" it strikes me as an insecure teenager trying to convince herself that she is a grownup. Why does anyone have to say they are a strong an independent person? It's like saying "hey, I'm wearing my big girl pants today... aren't you proud of me? My mommy is".

    Just be normal. No need to tell everyone about it. It makes you look bad. And the truth is that every woman I'm ever met who felt the need to announce she is a "strong, independent woman" had serious personality problems that usually involved a chip on her shoulder and a bad attitude toward men. No exceptions yet.

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    • Well, as I said the real strong and independent people will not announce it around the streets. They don't have to. Everyone will notice they are.

What Girls Said 3

  • "In fact, that is the reason I think an independent persons love is more reliable than a dependent persons. They don't need you but they still choose to live with you - because they want you."
    Dude I love you already! This was one of the nicest takes I've read in a while!

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  • Nice take

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  • Thanks myTake, very cool!

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