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I said nothing, was it my fault?

This is a fictional story Warning: this contains strong situations about abuse


I said nothing, was it my fault?

I sat on the hospital bed naked in a hospital gown. I was too nervous to be cold and shaking too much to even tell if I was. I sat there anxious and confused. I kept on saying over and over again to myself, I should have said no. I looked at my arm, it was third time I had cut myself. Thankfully I had stopped this time. I somehow found the strength to bring myself into the ER.

I said nothing, was it my fault?


I touched my face and it was still fresh from the bruise. I needed to be slapped. I was stupid enough to allow him to continue and besides according to him, I wanted it. If I wanted it, I should have played along. I fought for a reason I did not make clear enough to him. We were good friends and he would have been good enough to stop if I told him to do it.


I said nothing, was it my fault?

I was just so shocked I could not move. It was my fault, I went back to his room and laid on his bed. Dam* it I gave so many signals tonight. If I would him, I would have done it too. I looked for something to cut my wrist with again. Then I realized I was in an ER, why did I even come here… This was so stupid. I started to cry about my stupidity.

I said nothing, was it my fault?



Then a male doctor came in. I don’t know what came over me. I pushed back in fear and pulled on all of the equipment behind the bed to pull me back further. I was so scared. He quickly left and a girl nurse came in shortly after. I seemed to feel calmer with her right now for some reason.

I said nothing, was it my fault?


“Can I see your wrist?” I did not talk and I hid it, it was none of her business. She went for the bruise on my head. “Where did you get this?” Falling down the stairs. That is why I came in, can I get something to put on it, I feel so stupid just coming in for that. “You are going to have to reason with me here, there are police out there. The staff here have reason to believe that you hurt yourself. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

I said nothing, was it my fault?



I was angry and I reluctantly pulled my wrist out to show her. She started examining it. It was also then that I remembered I told them everything when I came in. I was so confused. “You are not the first girl this has happened to here. And I completely understand why you can’t think straight. I was pulled in here because it happened to me too when I was around your age. You are going to take some time to recover from this. But know this, he had no right to do what he did. Just because you gave him signs and did not say anything does not mean you agreed. And in the state of your confusion it is hard to process that slap but you know it was wrong.”

I said nothing, was it my fault?


“Did you change your clothes before you came in here?” No, I have been so confused… I fell crying into her arms. She tightly held me. We stayed this way for what felt like a half hour. I feel like I fell asleep briefly in her arms a couple of times. “Sweetheart, I understand this is tough but we are going to need to swab you. I am going to do it, is that ok?” I very slightly nodded.

I said nothing, was it my fault?


When the swab went in, I pushed back in fear at first. Then she grabbed my shoulder. “It’s ok, you are safe here” The second time I felt simply uncomfortable with another person touching my private area. I felt like I was being violated all over again. It felt like forever for her to swab. She put it into a bag. “We are going to put you in a safe place for a couple of days. To monitor you and keep you safe.” I started bringing up college and my job. “don’t worry about that, you will still have them when you are done here.” My body gave up and I felt asleep.

I said nothing, was it my fault?
I said nothing, was it my fault?
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