The House Always Wins, but Why?
There are times in life that things are lost in translation. This happens most often in the home. Whether you are renting from someone, live with others, or are at home. Things differ from house to house, and even in life. I wanted to share the things that I have started to see. They are not so much rules, but rather they are the lines that are drawn in order to promote a healthy and productive state of mind and health for me.
While these are by no means concrete, they are general realizations that I have had to come to over the years. In that my life is less complicated both at home and the world. I make is a point to not play lip service to people, and try to express myself, needs and wants in a non-imposing way. So without any more blabbering from me.
1. My Time is Mine.
One of the things I have found over the years is that people forget to take time for themselves. I enjoy all the time that I get to spend with people. On the same note, the time that I spend with people is freely given. Please don’t allow others to assume that your time is theirs to plan out. I recently told someone that in the end you need to set your schedule and adhere to it. You can’t let other people dictate when things are to be. In that I mean that if I am making time to be with someone at noon and then they decide to arrive at one o’clock I will be leaving by 12:15.
This isn’t rude to you, it’s rude to me if there is not a good reason to change on me midstream. I understand that life will always throw you curves and that is expected. I can’t get on board with you deciding to wash your car at 11:55 knowing that we are meeting and you are 30 minutes away from the meeting location.
2. We Won’t Always Agree
There isn’t anything wrong with that. There will always be opinions that I have that are not in line with others. That’s ok, I accept that as a person I am entitled to be separate just as other people are individuals. The reason that the world is interesting and not a symmetrical and boring place is that in that individuality we create a tapestry of life that is full of colors and experiences that can rival no others.
3. What I Use Is MY Preference.
I appreciate that you have learned to not eat meat. I can also appreciate your lifestyle choices. I may not agree with them, but that is why the second paragraph exists. I don’t choose to be a vegan, I am a heterosexual male, and I am white. I am entitled to this not based on any other basis other than I worked to get to spot in which I am now. I have been down and out, to the point of homelessness. I have been addicted to almost every drug that you can think of, and have come through the other side. I battle depression and loneliness and am stronger for that. So please do not preach to me about your choices whether they are about Salad Dressing or Sex and expect that I do as you do.
4. I Will Give You a Hand UP
I believe that this life has seen too many people who think that they are entitled to everything in the world that other people have. This is not a charity. The sad truth is that in knowing this I also see people who will continually bail out someone and rather that help them up they are only keeping them down. If you are there for someone whenever they have a problem, then what will happen to them when you are not there to help them anymore? We as a society need to realize that the only way to sustain a future is by teaching others how to live.
Life is not always going to be pretty and rainbows are not always possible. There are going to be hard times, and there are going to be great ones. The difference is not in the age of people rather their ability to cope with that. Even now as an adult I am continuously learning things. There are new developments every day and discoveries that were not known a couple years ago. I now believe in therapy and know that it’s ok to ask for help. I know that there are times when life will get me down, it’s only how I react that affects my wellbeing. I know that in the end I have to take time for myself in order to be available for others.
These are truths that everyone comes to on their own. No people’s path is the same as someone else and we are fools to think otherwise. Maybe it’s time that we take that time and heal ourselves and then, and only then can we begin to help other’s.