How do you see yourself? How do you comprehend what happens to you daily? How do you justify rejection? What do you tell yourself when you make a stupid mistake or when you fail? What if people had opinions about your choices, and your life. How do these opinions affect you?
Answer these questions to know how mentally tough you are. If you believe you failed because you didn’t try hard enough, then you’re allowing yourself to believe that if you try harder you can succeed. If you believe you failed because you don’t have what it takes to make it, you won’t bother to try again. Now of course sometimes it’s better to give up what you thought you wanted since you learned that it’s not really for you, and you prefer to save your time and energy for something that fits you better, that’s totally alright. What is not alright is giving up something you wanna achieve because you think you can’t do it, though you wish you can. We face stuff like that usually with challenges we meet in our lives like losing weight or learning to cook for yourself daily.
So let’s think of a challenge, let’s say you wanna master a hand stand, you tried to do it and you fell dramatically, tried again, fell again, now you’re thinking wow this is difficult, at this point you have two choices either to think you can’t do it or you start asking how do I do it? With the former you have closed the door for handstands, you have eliminated all you chances to achieve that goal. While when you ask yourself that question “How do I do it?” you have allowed yourself to think of ways to reach your goal, you can now seek knowledge and educate yourself about the way to do a proper handstand. Now that you have learned the way, you also have two ways of thinking as a response to what you learned, either you say to yourself “No it’s too difficult why bother” or you say “Alright let’s start”. This actually keeps going on until you finally master the hand stand, every time you practice and fail you will have those two ways ahead of you. You pick which way you want with what you tell yourself, either this statement you say in your mind means bye bye handstands, or it means it’s just a matter of days and I’m already an expert at handstands.
So that was just an example of a physical challenge one might face, but the same mental process applies daily to any type of challenge we face, whether it’s a life changing one or simple one. What you tell yourself doesn’t only decide whether you’re gonna win a challenge or not, it also decides who you are in general, what you tell yourself about your past decides whether your past is gonna be a source of your strength or a reason to feel shame. That story you tell yourself about a certain person is what’s gonna decide how you’re gonna treat them. If you told yourself “Oh wow she’s so perfect I could never have a woman this beautiful” then guess what, you’ll just run away when you see her, while with a different set of words like “Oh wow she’s so perfect, I must work on myself to feel worthy of a woman of her value” you have motivated yourself to become a better version of yourself, and now you feel like welcoming her every time she come’s across you simply because you turned her to a source of inspiration instead of a reason to feel ashamed of yourself because you’re not good enough, and it’s all thanks to a simple sentence you told yourself.
Everyday you either build yourself up with the words you say that fill you up with gratitude, confidence, contentment and commitment, or you beat yourself down with self-defeating words you whisper to your mind while you feel weak, insecure and incomplete. That’s exactly how the story you tell yourself can make or break you.