"What makes a girl truly feminine, is submissiveness". True or false?

[Metal189]

was watching an interview with a girl who happens to not only be a professional volleyball player but also a fitness model. she recently wrote a self help book as well, so she's even a writer (athletic, good looking, smart) but she's also very feminine and she believes its because she's submissive. she really didn't mean to use that word in her book, but thats basically the idea.

do you think this is true?

[inamorata]

No, submissiveness is only a trait that often comes right along side of femininity. Traits of femininity are kindness, sensitivity, gentleness, beauty, humility, patience, maturity, politeness, grace etc.
Submissiveness is often mistaken for agreeableness and stupidity. An agreeable woman is a woman who likes to please people in general and will not get on anyone's bad side. Agreeableness is very good for women in medium doses, but too much makes her bland. If she is stupid along with being agreeable, she is likely to be used and is likely to harm those around her. She often has to be babysat.

A submissive woman aims to please people she is submissive towards. Submissiveness means that the person accepts the authority of someone they love, aim to please that person and serve that person out of devotion, while shedding their pride. They can question authority, advise, they can even walk away from it, but they can not get in its way. I was for example submissive towards my parents until I turned 18 and moved out. Now, I don't see them as authority figures anymore, I see them as my advisors. I still try to please them and serve them due to love and devotion, but my actions are aiding, not serving, they aren't not commanded, or expected. Being submissive is a trait that requires a lot of courage and trust in another person, and it provides both the submissive and the dominant party with a great, harmonious relationship. Be that relationship among a parent and a child, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

Since gender roles imply in an ideal relationship a guy assumes authority and most responsibility (dominance) and the girl surrenders it in order to aid the one in the position of authority (submissiveness), submissiveness is considered a feminine trait. But it is not so, since it can occur in other relationships among humans, where the submissive party is the guy. (This can include romantic relationships among a smaller number of individuals who prefer it that way.)

[Willow4]

I can imagine from the type of woman she is, being a pro volleyball player and writer etc, that her submissiveness is in the bedroom? She sounds like the kind of person who is ambitious and strong to get where she is so isn't likely to be trampled on to get what she's worked hard to get. In which case femininity doesn't begin and end in the bedroom. I don't think submissiveness equals femininity although it is thought of as a feminine trait.

[jrose]

Femininity is a fairly elastic term that has about as many definitions as there are women in the world.
Personally- I think you can still be feminine and not be submissive to anyone, including your partner.
Some women express their femininity by submission, others express it through other means (independence, dominance etc.).

[james_000]

I am a guy and I don't like to identify 'feminine' as 'submissive' .. Feminine is a very respectable and positive adjective for women.. Submissive on the other hand is a bit 'negative'.. I like my g/f to be feminine, that is the only way I can have a feeling for a women.. I call aggressive women as dickless Men, so no I would not want my partner to be a dickies male..:)

[Blondiee2014]

Not at all , that's like saying every strong headed business woman can't be feminine which is untrue , they can be very feminine and non submissive!

[BrunetteNYC]

It's hard to articulate but I can be VERY driven, a leader and ambitious, but when it comes to guys, I want/expect them to take the lead. So yes, girls can be driven but when it comes to guys and dating, still be traditional. I wish more understood that because a lot of guys assume I wanna lead all over the place. I don't.

[lumos]

Ew no. Femininity is incredibly subjective and also a very versatile term, and should not depend on one single thing (in this case, submissiveness). There's more to being a woman than being submissive... sounds like something taken out of the 50's. Yuck.

[pineappleshortcare]

Eh... I would say being receptive/flexible is more helpful than true submissiveness across the board. Too much submissiveness makes people needy and helpless. Most guys don't want to play daddy to their partner. They want to be valued and respected and to feel their partner trusts their decisions.

[throwit]

I'd associate femininity with submissiveness, sure. But 'feminine' I don't think is a word that is synonymous with 'womanly'
Does that make sense? Like a girl/guy could bemasculine or feminine, its not gender specific

[Metal189]

A feminine guy?

[dominiquois]

True.

[throwit]

Yeah, some guys are a little more feminine than others. Some girls are really masculine.

[SaVes]

If that is true, then I'm the manliest woman you'll ever meet. :)

[dominiquois]

Yes. However, a woman submits to whoever she wants to submit to. Thats the power of being a woman, especially a beautiful one.

[rogue_alpha]

Trying to be dominant is where feminists fail hard and ruin it for all other females, so I would say I agree.

[dominiquois]

Me too and I'm female.

[RedThread]

Eh I prefer girls who are more versatile.. I don't want to be a babysitter to a girl who is always submissive in most areas of her life. I want a partner not someone who looks to me for everything.

[bubbletrouble]

No, its all about how you present yourself. When its all said & done, people don't focus too much on the gender roles.

[cajun]

oh, nopes.. sounds like she slept with lot of men..

[cajun]

True feminity is something like butterfly or flower which adds beauty and color to your life..

[dominiquois]

Awww...that's so sweet. Very beautiful way of putting it.

[Sex_Panther]

Who is it?

Also, no. That's crap.

[Metal189]

Gabrielle Reece

[Sex_Panther]

I figured: www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...ntext_n_3211910.html

[NoblesseOblige]

Yes, that is one of the traits.